I'll definitely feel a little disappointment if I have a boy- I just feel like this is a girl, and DH wants a girl so badly. I know I'll love the shit out of a little boy if that's what we end up with, but I'll be sad thinking about the things I had planned for a daughter. I'm fortunate in that this is our first, so we'll definitely want at least one more. But I've just spent so much time imagining a little girl that I'll be sad about not getting to meet her yet.
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 6/2016 TTC #1: 12/2016 Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
Can I vent to our fellow teachers? I'm fairly new to the profession and I know that I have a TON of growing to do. My classroom management is still being tweaked and my class is....ok.
But is it normal to occasionally fantasize about going to a job where I just sit at a desk and deal with adults all day? Where I don't have to be "on" every single minute?
Sorry for the whining, it's just been a rough week so far. I love teaching, but it's hard AF.
@msmonalisavito Five years in, and that's my everyday. Classroom management is the hardest part- it's taken me years to get where I am now, and I still feel like I have growing to do. Don't beat yourself up. It's a frigging hard job.
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 6/2016 TTC #1: 12/2016 Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
I don't think I have anything new to add, but I totally get the disappointment in the baby's sex. It's hard not to think there are unique experiences for mothers and daughters that you just won't have if you only have sons. I won't know until 20 weeks if this one is a boy or a girl, but it's hard not to imagine picking out a wedding dress some day with my daughter. This is definitely our last, so if we're having a second boy, I will have to mourn a little for what will never be. I keep trying to tell myself that even if I have a daughter, it doesn't mean she'll fit into my imagined picture of what she'll be like (which, of course, is just like me), so it's really better to let go of those ideas either way. Once the baby's here, it's easy to just let the kid be who they are, but until then I can't help imagining all these wistful whatifs.
@msmonalisavito This is my 13th year teaching. I still fantasize about a job where I just come home - and that's it. I'm not worried about grading or lesson plans and I'm not working outside of work. I sometimes think that would be amazing - but then, I truly love my students. They make me laugh every single day - and I think if I was in a 'normal' job, I'd be bored and unfulfilled. So I stay where I am - even though I bitch about all the take home crap I have to do.
Anyways - all that to say, I think 'teacher remorse' is a natural and normal thing. I think we all go through it - especially on our tough days/years. Hopefully, eventually, the good days/years just balance out all the crap
DD deteriorated quick today. We went to ER and her O2 sats were in the 80s and her temp was 103.8 with ibuprofen.. she had a neb treatment and fluids and we were admitted overnight. I am exhausted.
DD deteriorated quick today. We went to ER and her O2 sats were in the 80s and her temp was 103.8 with ibuprofen.. she had a neb treatment and fluids and we were admitted overnight. I am exhausted.
Oh no! So sorry to hear this!! Sending positive vibes...hope she is feeling well again very soon!! Hugs!!!
@msmonalisavito when I first started the job I’m currently in I used to wish, as I was driving to school every day, that I was going to there to be a cafeteria worker or a janitor or the librarian...anything BUT what I was going there to be. There were lists of reasons for this (had to leave the job I loved in Ireland and found the education system in a new country so overwhelming) but I do know what you mean. TBH I would much rather be home with DS all day but that’s not an option right now! Hugs! And it does get better. Even though I want to leave, I love my students and I enjoy most parts of the job! Sorry if I’m rambling...tired.
@roadspeckle oh honey I’m so sorry you’re going through this! So glad you took her in, that must have been terrifying. Keep us posted. Biggest hugs and healing vibes headed your way!
Thank you ladies. DH sent pics of her lethargic and she is NOT like that so I was freaking out. She had been vomiting by the time I had gotten home (I left school) and we got to the ER and she threw up all over me. She has RSV & pneumonia. She finally is sleeping now, thank God. DS & DH are here but about to go home for the night. I’m hoping to watch ‘This is Us’ and “sleep.”
How scary, @roadspeckle! How old is she? I hope she makes a quick recovery and you're able to relax.
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
After yesterday's thread all I can think about is girl scout cookies. I told DH I couldn't decide which ones I wanted and he told me I can get 10 boxes. I probably shouldn't be this excited about cookies but omg I am.
I had to take yesterday off because I had jury duty and didn't want to drain my phone bumping all day.
My GS cookies are being delivered on Friday but my brother-in-law along with his wife and three kids are coming to visit on Saturday so I am selfishly hiding them in the car until they leave. I know its terrible but if those kids discover cookies in the house they will be gone by Sunday morning and that's just not something I am willing to let happen.
Today is a big day. I am wearing maternity jeans for the first time and I am so happy. They're adorable and I'm so comfortable.
History and blog link in spoiler
2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks May 2020 FET; BFN July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate Oct 2020 BFP!
I just want to say to everyone disappointed about only having boys etc, I felt the same after DS2. I didn't know if we would have a third at the time and it hit me really hard to think I might never have a girl (or that even if we tried again we could end up with three boys). Then I felt so guilty about those feelings. All to say I think it is really normal and what helped me was to realize how different DS1 and DS2 are - they are each their own person and I can't imagine life without either of them! big hugs to you all. Also i am so happy that Aug18 is accepting of these types of feelings. I felt really alone and like I was not able to share these feelings when I was going through them, so it warms my heart how accepting we can be of it as a community.
I got to hear baby girl on the Doppler at my appt yesterday! She was 15 weeks yesterday so I know the chances of anything going wrong at this point are low, but it is hard for me to let it sink in for some reason. Each appt helps a little, and hopefully the A/S and more consistent movement will help me (and all of us). I already bought this box of girl clothes so I am definitely hopeful that it will all work out!
@msmonalisavito I’ve had a long road to get to where I am with classroom management, and I’m still not perfect. My first year teaching middle school I looked at other jobs and strongly considered changing careers, and I’m do glad I didn’t. The best thing about teaching is that every year is a fresh slate and an opportunity to try new things to be better. I would be bored at another job.
@msmonalisavito Having worked in corporate jobs and gone into teaching later in life, I can honestly say the kids are easier to deal with. I dealt with sooo many whiny adults who acted more like my 7yo or the teenagers I teach. At most of the schools I’ve been at, the teachers generally act like mature adults when dealing with each other, instead of talking about each other behind their backs and trying to make each others’ lives harder. I guess for me that’s the biggest thing - in all the teaching environments I’ve worked in, the teachers support each other. I never had that support in any non-teaching job I worked.
@roadspeckle Hugs to you and your DD. Keep us updated. I hope things improve today.
@laurad75 OMG, the switch to maternity pants is life changing. When I went back to regular jeans after my DS (around 8ish weeks PP), I literally kept forgetting to button them because I hadn't buttoned pants in almost a year!
@alinafed I love how accepting this community is of different feelings. And, I"m so glad you found a respectful place to share yours. Your perspective on the difference between your DSs is also so helpful for a STM like me to hear!I have to keep reminding myself that this baby will have his/her own personality, feelings, and preferences.
To all of the teachers on this board - thank you! From the bottom of my heart, thank you. My DS is only 2 and I love, LOVE LOVE LOVE, his teachers. I sent them a note the other day to tell them about how he was applying the January lesson at home, and how cool I thought that was. I know your job is hard, but you are the most valuable people to me! I couldn't do what you do, and I appreciate how hard it is. FWIW, working in an office job, I work with plenty of people who don't have the emotional or mental development to act appropriately. There is a lot of emotional management here as well, especially when I work with contractors.
Yay, blood tests done. I won't know the results till tomorrow or Monday more than likely. But I'm so freaking hungry. I was going to go to Chick-fil-A to treat myself, we don't have one in my town, but the line for the drive-thru was all the way down the street and all the parking places were full. So I'm at Culver's instead, eating lunch with the old folks. Heh
I'm going to feel the same way if this one is a boy too. Part of me will be very happy because I have so much stuff for a boy, I've been raising 2 boys so I'm kinda good at it, and I understand boys now, but the other part of me really wants a girl to dress up, get nails done with, go prom and wedding dress shopping with, etc.
Yes, yes, yes. (Except that I have a daughter)
IvorySoapGirl
- Forest Hills, NY
Me: 40 DH: 40 Married May 2012 DD born Sep 2013 MC Feb 2017 11w2d CP May 2017 5w MC Oct 2017 6w BFP Dec 2017 EDD 8/15/18
Re: Weekly Randoms 2/5
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
But is it normal to occasionally fantasize about going to a job where I just sit at a desk and deal with adults all day? Where I don't have to be "on" every single minute?
Sorry for the whining, it's just been a rough week so far. I love teaching, but it's hard AF.
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
Anyways - all that to say, I think 'teacher remorse' is a natural and normal thing. I think we all go through it - especially on our tough days/years. Hopefully, eventually, the good days/years just balance out all the crap
ETA: Words.
@msmonalisavito when I first started the job I’m currently in I used to wish, as I was driving to school every day, that I was going to there to be a cafeteria worker or a janitor or the librarian...anything BUT what I was going there to be. There were lists of reasons for this (had to leave the job I loved in Ireland and found the education system in a new country so overwhelming) but I do know what you mean. TBH I would much rather be home with DS all day but that’s not an option right now! Hugs! And it does get better. Even though I want to leave, I love my students and I enjoy most parts of the job! Sorry if I’m rambling...tired.
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
She has RSV & pneumonia.
She finally is sleeping now, thank God. DS & DH are here but about to go home for the night. I’m hoping to watch ‘This is Us’ and “sleep.”
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
I haven't eaten since 6pm yesterday, and I'm too hungry to get back to sleep I think.
@roadspeckle I'm so sorry! I hope she's on the mend soon!
Married 9/28/13
DS born 11/12/15
EDD 8/13/18
@roadspeckle hang in there. Thinking about you and your daughter today!
@neeraja_k - good luck today! Update when you can.
@dirtanddiamonds - yay! How long will he be home for?
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
After yesterday's thread all I can think about is girl scout cookies. I told DH I couldn't decide which ones I wanted and he told me I can get 10 boxes. I probably shouldn't be this excited about cookies but omg I am.
My GS cookies are being delivered on Friday but my brother-in-law along with his wife and three kids are coming to visit on Saturday so I am selfishly hiding them in the car until they leave. I know its terrible but if those kids discover cookies in the house they will be gone by Sunday morning and that's just not something I am willing to let happen.
Today is a big day. I am wearing maternity jeans for the first time and I am so happy. They're adorable and I'm so comfortable.
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
Also i am so happy that Aug18 is accepting of these types of feelings. I felt really alone and like I was not able to share these feelings when I was going through them, so it warms my heart how accepting we can be of it as a community.
@msmonalisavito I’ve had a long road to get to where I am with classroom management, and I’m still not perfect. My first year teaching middle school I looked at other jobs and strongly
considered changing careers, and I’m do glad I didn’t. The best thing about teaching is that every year is a fresh slate and an opportunity to try new things to be better. I would be bored at another job.
@msmonalisavito Having worked in corporate jobs and gone into teaching later in life, I can honestly say the kids are easier to deal with. I dealt with sooo many whiny adults who acted more like my 7yo or the teenagers I teach. At most of the schools I’ve been at, the teachers generally act like mature adults when dealing with each other, instead of talking about each other behind their backs and trying to make each others’ lives harder. I guess for me that’s the biggest thing - in all the teaching environments I’ve worked in, the teachers support each other. I never had that support in any non-teaching job I worked.
@roadspeckle I hope your little one is better today.
@neeraja_k good luck I hope all goes well!
@laurad75 OMG, the switch to maternity pants is life changing. When I went back to regular jeans after my DS (around 8ish weeks PP), I literally kept forgetting to button them because I hadn't buttoned pants in almost a year!
@alinafed I love how accepting this community is of different feelings. And, I"m so glad you found a respectful place to share yours. Your perspective on the difference between your DSs is also so helpful for a STM like me to hear!I have to keep reminding myself that this baby will have his/her own personality, feelings, and preferences.
To all of the teachers on this board - thank you! From the bottom of my heart, thank you. My DS is only 2 and I love, LOVE LOVE LOVE, his teachers. I sent them a note the other day to tell them about how he was applying the January lesson at home, and how cool I thought that was. I know your job is hard, but you are the most valuable people to me! I couldn't do what you do, and I appreciate how hard it is.
FWIW, working in an office job, I work with plenty of people who don't have the emotional or mental development to act appropriately. There is a lot of emotional management here as well, especially when I work with contractors.
IvorySoapGirl - Forest Hills, NY
Me: 40 DH: 40
Married May 2012
DD born Sep 2013
MC Feb 2017 11w2d
CP May 2017 5w
MC Oct 2017 6w
BFP Dec 2017 EDD 8/15/18
their veggie sub!