I told my manager about the baby on Friday during my annual review and she was super excited for me! I told the rest of my team this morning and they are equally as excited! However, a team member pulled me aside a bit later and let me know she is 5 weeks along and just found out last week! It's her first, so she is really nervous, but I told her I'd keep it quiet until she was ready to say anything. I have a feeling my manager may have a slight freak out when she finds out though! I'm due 8/31, co-worker is 9/20. 2 of us out on maternity leave at the same time is going to throw things off a bit!! I'm not letting myself worry about it too much, because such is life and I get 12 weeks off full pay and I want to enjoy it!
I never thought about that kind of operational burden! Here in Canada because we get 12 or 18 months, it is easy to hire a replacement worker for the time the mom is off (and since the gov is paying for the time off, the employer doesn't have to pay both employees). Geez, how crappy that moms have to worry about how their workplaces are affected by their leave.
I second the don't worry about it though. I just started here 4 months ago but I am taking 15 months leave this time and will not feel guilty at all no matter how they react when I tell them.
I told my manager about the baby on Friday during my annual review and she was super excited for me! I told the rest of my team this morning and they are equally as excited! However, a team member pulled me aside a bit later and let me know she is 5 weeks along and just found out last week! It's her first, so she is really nervous, but I told her I'd keep it quiet until she was ready to say anything. I have a feeling my manager may have a slight freak out when she finds out though! I'm due 8/31, co-worker is 9/20. 2 of us out on maternity leave at the same time is going to throw things off a bit!! I'm not letting myself worry about it too much, because such is life and I get 12 weeks off full pay and I want to enjoy it!
I never thought about that kind of operational burden! Here in Canada because we get 12 or 18 months, it is easy to hire a replacement worker for the time the mom is off (and since the gov is paying for the time off, the employer doesn't have to pay both employees). Geez, how crappy that moms have to worry about how their workplaces are affected by their leave.
I second the don't worry about it though. I just started here 4 months ago but I am taking 15 months leave this time and will not feel guilty at all no matter how they react when I tell them.
I haven't told my boss yet and I'm afraid to because I'm due literally the busiest week of the year for our company. It sucks that we have to fear this kind of thing!
I've already started thinking about who my sub might be for when I take my leave. I wish my best friend would get her sub license so I could have her cover. The good news (for the department of Ed, not for me) is that, thanks to no paid maternity leave, I'll only have 14 sick days to use after my baby is born, so I'll likely only miss the first three weeks of school and will be back about 4 weeks after giving birth (provided baby is on time).
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 6/2016 TTC #1: 12/2016 Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
@jsnakehole that totally sucks for you. I work for the federal government, so I also don't have maternity leave. I'm hoping to combine saved leave and unpaid leave to take 10 weeks, but it will be a stretch. The good news is at least I'm not worried about keeping my job or how it will affect my team.
Great idea, ladies! I was thinking I should plan a maternity leave trip too! When I was debating destinations I had an even better idea! I'll just plan a trip in about a month (hoping the nausea will ease up by then) and I'll go solo!!! Heck ya! See ya!
@jsnakehole I just finished my teaching cert and signed on to sub with my local district, so I’ll get whatever I can afford to take unpaid. We live mostly on DH’s salary now, but my student loans’ grace periods end in June/July. I’m hoping to bank enough in savings during Feb-June to pay them through the summer, but I also hope this baby decides to come at 37wks like DS did so I can start subbing again at the beginning of the next school year.
@jsnakehole I too am a teacher, so I will have 12 days available of maternity leave. I plan to use the FMLA (family medical leave act) to have a full 12 weeks off though. We're currently trying to save what I would be making each month to help while I'm off.
My work is already severely understaffed and everyone's burned out. We have two full timers--one of which has been on a medical LOA for months, but they won't even hire a part timer to help out in the meantime. The other is out of state this whole month. This time a year ago we had literally double the staff for the same workload.
I get no maternity leave, PTO, or sick time, but may qualify for FMLA by then. Right now I don't qualify due to lack of hours in the last year (mostly because I took the full 12 weeks unpaid when I had DD in February and then went back super part-time)
...hoping I can make up the deficit by then! Otherwise, I'll have to go back as soon as the doctor clears it
Maternity leave in the US really depresses me. It is outrageous. I will be taking a boat load of unpaid leave but I know for a fact that I could not go back at 6 weeks pp. After I had DS I was an absolute mess at that point. Sleep deprivation, baby blues, adjustment to my new role...I would have had a breakdown if I had to work. Kudos to the moms who can do it or who truly do not have a choice. I so wish it were not that way, I just don't know how I can do anything to change it. There needs to be some sort of movement towards it but I would have no idea where to even begin.
I get 6w of short term disability (assuming traditional birth) and I will take another 6w unpaid for my 12w of FMLA. Last time my company needed help so I helped out hourly from home during my leave in between taking care of LO and in the evenings after he went to bed. I'm not sure I will be willing to do that this time as I plan to keep DS home some days of the week.
I'm surprised to hear people that aren't in a position to qualify for FMLA?
@livinthesunnylife my ability to qualify for FMLA depends entirely on when this baby is born. My one year anniversary date with my company is my due date. This is probably the first time where I've actually wanted to go to 40 weeks.
I don’t think I’ll get FMLA this time because I won’t be at my job for a year, but they do have a different version for people that don’t qualify that’s just not job protected so I guess that’s something. We also have employer sponsored short term disability which I’m super grateful for - 6 weeks at 90% and 6 weeks at 80% so at least I’ll be getting something coming in. I have to take a week of PTO to cover the waiting period from delivery to short term disability kicking in.
Im debating taking an extra few weeks and using PTO but we’ll see.
Im nervous to tell my job. They’re restructuring right now and I’m worried it will affect their decision making on keeping me around. I have no idea when I’m going to do it and I have no one here I can ask for guidance either because I work directly with all of the decision makers.
August '18 March Siggy Challenge - You had ONE JOB
I work for a very large company with generous leave policies, so if I don't go early and everything works out, I could potentially get almost 6 months paid. 6 weeks short term (8 if C-section), 6 weeks FMLA paid out with accumulated vacation and personal, 8 weeks paid parental leave, and then if that gets me to the new year, I can request a Child Care Leave of Absence and fund it with my new 2019 vacation and personal (4 weeks). I am definitely one of the lucky ones here in the US. I don't know how I could go back as early as some of you have to, just from a mental/emotional standpoint.
Me: 28, DH: 40 Married 9/28/13 DS born 11/12/15 EDD 8/13/18
@livinthesunnylife FMLA only qilualifies if your employer has at least 50 employees and you’ve worked there for at least a year, and at least 1250 hours within that year. Since it’s unpaid leave, many mothers can’t afford to take the full 12 weeks even if they are eligible for it.
With DD1 I was able to get paid for 6 weeks via my employer's short term disability policy, and then take another 6 weeks unpaid to get to the 12 weeks of FMLA.
Then my employer put an actual maternity leave in place, which was awesome when DD2 was born. I was fully paid for 16 weeks. I will get that again this time. Under the old FMLA policy I would have been kind of screwed because I would have had to have been back at work for a full year in order to qualify for the full 12 weeks again. There is no such restriction on the new maternity leave policy, which is good because I just came off of my previous one in october!
I'm very lucky that my employer does this. It sucks that not everyone does. We offer 4 weeks fully paid paternity leave as well, which is nice. DH is self employed so he just does whatever he feels like. I think he took 2 weeks when each of the girls were born. He works from home a decent amount too.
When I came off of my last leave, I got a flexible schedule where I work from the office twice a week and home the other 3 days which is also kick ass. I was planning to go into the office more once I finished nursing/pumping for DD2, but looks like I'll be taking that right into baby #3 so I guess not. Being at home all day gets kind of boring and I do like being around my coworkers, though the commute blows.
I will be taking 6 weeks and that is using all my PTO for the whole year and sick days for the next 2 years. Unfortunately, our year runs from July 1st every year so I will have used up all my PTO in the very beginning. I've discussed what would happen if I got sick or baby got sick later in the year with my boss, and he said I could take unpaid days. Unfortunately, as I am in medical residency, each day that I take over that 6 weeks will extend my training. Being "off cycle" is always cringed at in terms of getting a fellowship (the next phase of training) or in getting a job, but what can I do? My husband will have some PTO time left as he only gets 2 weeks paternity so he might be the one who has to handle any baby sick days!
I'm not happy that any of you all have to deal with restrictive maternity leaves, but I am surprised and glad to have people to commiserate with!
If I go over my sick time, I can either take unpaid days or go into a negative balance. DH just graduated college and is still lookIng for full time work, so we're using our savings now. I can't afford the unpaid days, and I need to start accumulating my sick time back as soon as possible (I've heard stories of women who had negative days 5 years after having a baby). I'll be back at school by September 26th, even if my baby is born on my EDD (August 29).
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 6/2016 TTC #1: 12/2016 Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
One thing I did after DS was born in 2016 was go back earlier than I had to (8 weeks pp) and used the rest of my parental leave for half days. I needed to get out of the house at that point and was feeling so guilty, but working in the mornings was just what I needed to feel more like myself and also not terrible about not using my parental leave in a big chunk. It also extended how long I was able to do that and keep DS out of daycare (DH worked 2nd shift). I know I was lucky and it’s not possible for everyone, but just a suggestion I didn’t think about until 6 weeks pp last time with pretty bad baby blues.
It sucks that we don't all have better support when it comes to paid maternity leave! It's already a stressful time and we should be able to fully focus on our new babies rather than stress about finances. I plan on taking 8 weeks, 7 unpaid and 1 week remaining PTO. I'm saving for my leave now. I may not even have my current job to come back to so I'll likely be spending my leave looking for new employment.
Am I insane for considering a career change? I love the company I work for but they relocated our depot at the beginning of the month and my commute is insane now. I leave my house at 7am and I don't get home until 6pm most days. I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of my kid's lives just not getting to spend time with them before and after school. My actual work hours are 8am-4pm but with traffic in this godforsaken place is adds an additional 3 hours to my time away from home. That's 15 hours per week and 780 hours per year!
@calimom2524 I always say "life is too short to waste time commuting" so I would totally consider a change or a move. And, you know this, but with the little ones its so hard to not be there during those hours! If I don't have dinner on the table by 5:20 for my son, he's going to be screaming at me. Luckily my commute is only 3 miles.
I guess career change is the wrong choice of wording, I'm cool with staying in the same industry, just ideally something closer to home. I applied to a position online today that is literally across the street from my house so that would be pretty rad. I work in the vacation/hospitality industry so as long as I'm semi within those parameters I'll be comfortable. I live in Silicon Valley which is the tech capital of the world but I have no interest in those jobs so my choices out here are limited. It is not logical in any way to relocate so it would need to be a job change vs. moving.
Ugh. Reading all of these make me so mad and sad that the US has such messed up policies. I’m thankful for FMLA, but it is ridiculous that some have to go back at 6 weeks or even earlier. As said above, I wish we could change it, but who knows where to even start. I went back at 10 weeks with DS (8 weeks short term, took 2 weeks vacation time). Since the pay was so much less than normal we had to save and budget the whole pregnancy. I’m thankful my current employer makes up the difference of short term to equal 100%, then pays the full 100% through the 12 weeks once it expires. It still just doesn’t seem like enough time some days though.
Woohoo, finally figured out how to change my siggy settings. I had a really depressing signature from TTCing and my loss, so I am happy it's gone now so I don't have to see it anymore. Just makes me realize I am in a very different, more positive place after two healthy babies than last time I was active on TB while pregnant with my first with all that recent history.
I'm lucky to not have to work, but I was disappointed to find that DH has no paternity leave with his company (Oracle) I thought he'd get some, as he has a good white collar job, but evidently he can only take FMLA, and we can't survive long with no income. He'll probably only get to take two weeks at home before he has to start working again, but hopefully he'll be able to work from home at least part time? I'm still trying to figure out our options.
Me:32 DH:45 DSD: 20 DSS: 18 Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
I think the timing with these kids is nice though because once we do have to go back to work at 12ish weeks, the holidays aren't too far off and we at least get a few days with them for that
OMG OMG OMG OMG my Dr. just called with the results and said everything was fine with the genetic screenings, did I want to know the sex and I am sitting at work like ahhhh I can't!!! So she sent it in an email that I am itching to open because I have a hair appointment after work. But I don't think I can do it and lie to DH hahaha
Not sure where to put this since we don’t have an appointment update thread and I don’t feel like making an AW post so I’m going to just vent here.
So I just had my first ob appointment. I thought I was at 8 weeks 3 days, but she said I’m at 7w3d, (I must have messed up somewhere woops). I told her I wasn’t really feeling pregnant and convinced her to give me an ultrasound. Problem is the baby was too small to measure and based off gestational sac size I’m more like at 5w5d. The doctor seemed very unconcerned but I’m kind of freaking out. She had me do bloodwork and I’ll go back for more in 48 hours to track my levels and then a repeat u/s in two weeks. I’m just so paranoid that the dates are right but the baby stopped growing. I found out January 5th with a hpt which means I would have been just under 4 weeks which seems mad early to me. I don’t know. Just freaking out and don’t know how I’ll make it through the next little bit waiting to hear about hcg levels and then the u/s. Plus now I’m officially out of August and in September....but I don’t think I’m going to switch boards ha. Sorry for the long vent.
I’m stressing with the new US updates. Mine is tomorrow morning and I haven’t been feeling pregnant and will now probably be freaking out until I see that screen and hear that heartbeat
August '18 March Siggy Challenge - You had ONE JOB
@cthulu Sorry your appointment didn't go how you expected. FWIW, I found out super early via HPT at like 3 weeks and some change so I definitely think it's possible that you just found out super early and had your dates off. Hopefully your numbers look good and the repeat u/s shows good growth!
@derbysquirrel my DH only took two weeks off with DS and it felt like enough. I did have some friends that would come sit with DS so I could just run to Starbucks or something to keep me from going stir crazy but I was only gone like 15/20 minutes at a time. Just letting you know if he only gets two weeks, that sucks, but you’ll be okay!
@cthulu I'm so sorry, it stinks having the stress and not knowing! I'll be thinking of you and hoping for a positive update. And yes, please stay with us. You belong here.
I just filed our taxes, and am relieved to find we are getting a ~$2500 refund. We had a change in income, and this was the first year (and I guess the only year for a while) that we don't qualify for the child tax credit, so I really wasn't sure how that would pan out. The extra money will come in handy for preparing for the kid, and may allow DH to take a little extra paternity time!
Me:32 DH:45 DSD: 20 DSS: 18 Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
@cthulu I’m so sorry for the stress this is causing you! I got my bfp at 9 dpo so 3 weeks 2 days. It’s totally possible to find out so early. Big hugs and fx that everything comes back ok!
From these post I have come to the realization that I will not qualify for FMLA. I started my job on August 14 which is also my due date. I went two weeks early aith DD, so most likely I won’t deliver past August 14. I doubt my job will give my position away, but what happens when you don’t qualify for FMLA? I need to call my HR friend, because I didn’t think about this. I haven’t told my job yet so I can’t inquire within.
My job also does not pay for maternity leave. Luckily I signed up for short term disability so I will get my salary worth for three months. My husband has a pleathera of sick and vacation time, so he will most likely take a month like he did the last time.
HUGS, to all the ladies that are worried about the amount of time they will be able to take off and how they are going to afford it.
For anyone thinking ahead to paternity leave: before DS was born, I wanted my SO to take more time because I was so worried about being home alone. He took a little over a week, and by that time I was set up enough that it was not nearly as hard as I thought it would be. Then, when he went back, he found out he got an extra week. He ended up taking the second week in my second month home. And then took a week of PTO my third month. It was actually better having his time spaced out with one week for each month I was home. Just a thought, in case your SOs have any flexibility about the time they can spend at home for you.
Re: Weekly randoms 1/15
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
I never thought about that kind of operational burden! Here in Canada because we get 12 or 18 months, it is easy to hire a replacement worker for the time the mom is off (and since the gov is paying for the time off, the employer doesn't have to pay both employees). Geez, how crappy that moms have to worry about how their workplaces are affected by their leave.
I second the don't worry about it though. I just started here 4 months ago but I am taking 15 months leave this time and will not feel guilty at all no matter how they react when I tell them.
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
I get no maternity leave, PTO, or sick time, but may qualify for FMLA by then. Right now I don't qualify due to lack of hours in the last year (mostly because I took the full 12 weeks unpaid when I had DD in February and then went back super part-time)
...hoping I can make up the deficit by then! Otherwise, I'll have to go back as soon as the doctor clears it
I'm surprised to hear people that aren't in a position to qualify for FMLA?
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
Im debating taking an extra few weeks and using PTO but we’ll see.
Im nervous to tell my job. They’re restructuring right now and I’m worried it will affect their decision making on keeping me around. I have no idea when I’m going to do it and I have no one here I can ask for guidance either because I work directly with all of the decision makers.
August '18 March Siggy Challenge - You had ONE JOB
Married 9/28/13
DS born 11/12/15
EDD 8/13/18
Then my employer put an actual maternity leave in place, which was awesome when DD2 was born. I was fully paid for 16 weeks. I will get that again this time. Under the old FMLA policy I would have been kind of screwed because I would have had to have been back at work for a full year in order to qualify for the full 12 weeks again. There is no such restriction on the new maternity leave policy, which is good because I just came off of my previous one in october!
I'm very lucky that my employer does this. It sucks that not everyone does. We offer 4 weeks fully paid paternity leave as well, which is nice. DH is self employed so he just does whatever he feels like. I think he took 2 weeks when each of the girls were born. He works from home a decent amount too.
When I came off of my last leave, I got a flexible schedule where I work from the office twice a week and home the other 3 days which is also kick ass. I was planning to go into the office more once I finished nursing/pumping for DD2, but looks like I'll be taking that right into baby #3 so I guess not. Being at home all day gets kind of boring and I do like being around my coworkers, though the commute blows.
I'm not happy that any of you all have to deal with restrictive maternity leaves, but I am surprised and glad to have people to commiserate with!
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
What would you switch careers to?
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
I went back at 10 weeks with DS (8 weeks short term, took 2 weeks vacation time). Since the pay was so much less than normal we had to save and budget the whole pregnancy. I’m thankful my current employer makes up the difference of short term to equal 100%, then pays the full 100% through the 12 weeks once it expires. It still just doesn’t seem like enough time some days though.
DS: 5.28.15
DS#2: EDD 8.31.18
DH:45
DSD: 20
DSS: 18
Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
So I just had my first ob appointment. I thought I was at 8 weeks 3 days, but she said I’m at 7w3d, (I must have messed up somewhere woops). I told her I wasn’t really feeling pregnant and convinced her to give me an ultrasound. Problem is the baby was too small to measure and based off gestational sac size I’m more like at 5w5d. The doctor seemed very unconcerned but I’m kind of freaking out. She had me do bloodwork and I’ll go back for more in 48 hours to track my levels and then a repeat u/s in two weeks. I’m just so paranoid that the dates are right but the baby stopped growing. I found out January 5th with a hpt which means I would have been just under 4 weeks which seems mad early to me. I don’t know. Just freaking out and don’t know how I’ll make it through the next little bit waiting to hear about hcg levels and then the u/s. Plus now I’m officially out of August and in September....but I don’t think I’m going to switch boards ha. Sorry for the long vent.
August '18 March Siggy Challenge - You had ONE JOB
DH:45
DSD: 20
DSS: 18
Team green baby due: Aug 6th, 2018
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
My job also does not pay for maternity leave. Luckily I signed up for short term disability so I will get my salary worth for three months. My husband has a pleathera of sick and vacation time, so he will most likely take a month like he did the last time.
HUGS, to all the ladies that are worried about the amount of time they will be able to take off and how they are going to afford it.