Me & MH: 32
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
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June 2018 Moms
krash_
member
S+TM AMA/Tell All/TMI for FTM's
krash_
member
General TMI warning...
So this is an AMA (ask me anything) tell all thread. As a FTM we hear a lot "you forget about all the bad stuff when you see that beautiful baby smile" or "it's all worth it in the end" but that doesn't help us prepare for EVERYTHING that comes with labor, delivery, or postpartum woes. We need all the dirty details, how did you go to the bathroom?, how do you handle hemorrhoids?, did your nipples bleed and crack?.
If you mention a product, please provide a link or a brief description of it, we are FTM's we don't know what you are talking about or where to find it.
FTM's feel free to ask ANYTHING. There are no stupid questions and someone is probably thinking the same thing. However, lets try to keep this to the stuff that is not generally talked about or TMI, we have specific threads for things like diapers or strollers or general pregnancy questions.
Here is the thread from TTGP that I found helpful but it is a couple years old, long, and closed so we can't add new questions or answers but this is along the lines I am thinking
So this is an AMA (ask me anything) tell all thread. As a FTM we hear a lot "you forget about all the bad stuff when you see that beautiful baby smile" or "it's all worth it in the end" but that doesn't help us prepare for EVERYTHING that comes with labor, delivery, or postpartum woes. We need all the dirty details, how did you go to the bathroom?, how do you handle hemorrhoids?, did your nipples bleed and crack?.
If you mention a product, please provide a link or a brief description of it, we are FTM's we don't know what you are talking about or where to find it.
FTM's feel free to ask ANYTHING. There are no stupid questions and someone is probably thinking the same thing. However, lets try to keep this to the stuff that is not generally talked about or TMI, we have specific threads for things like diapers or strollers or general pregnancy questions.
Here is the thread from TTGP that I found helpful but it is a couple years old, long, and closed so we can't add new questions or answers but this is along the lines I am thinking
*TW LC*
Re: S+TM AMA/Tell All/TMI for FTM's
Oh and take ALL the mesh panties home with you from the hospital.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
Yes to the Peri bottle! If you have multiple bathrooms, try to get multiple bottles from the hospital so you can have one in each bathroom. Always use warm water.....not hot, not cold....warm. Those first few times you pee it hurts like a mo-fo. AND - take stool softeners after the baby is born. You really don't want to be straining to poop. It's not pleasant, but it all heals up after a while and yes....that smile and sweet baby smell somehow makes you forget what you just put your body through.
If you tore, do you still have discomfort from it when having sex?
What did you wear postpartum? The mesh undies and pads seem bulky and not conducive to anything remotely cute. Just a robe? A night gown? Your husbands sweats?
Did your uterus contract on its own or did you have to have fundal massage? Is the fundal massage a requirement for everyone? I hear it is excruciating.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
After I got home, I just wore normal period clothes, regular undies, normal pads, etc. I did wear sweats a lot because of my incision, but was able to wear jeans if I wanted.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
I think I wore pads for 6ish weeks maybe a few days less. I’m not going to lie, the bleeding is really intense. I got scared a few times and called my cousin who is a nurse!
I did tear, very badly, all up inside. Not fun. I healed very well. Even my doctor is impressed, he thought I was going to need reconstructive surgery. I don’t have any discomfort during sex.
i lives in sweats and pajama pants at the hospital with a nursing sleep bra and my husbands robe. I ended up having to stay for 5 days because I couldn’t get up without passing out. At home, it was a tee shirt and pajama pants or sweats. Mesh parties are awesome. I loved mine.
As for the uterus. I honestly can’t remember. I know they massaged to check the size, but I don’t remember to what degree.
Hth
I only wore the heavy pads for maybe a week or two, then was okay with regular pads for another week or two. I had a c-section too.
DD was a July baby so I lived in shorts and tank tops and t-shirts. I also got some higher waist boy short type underwear to wear since i had the c-section cut.
They definitely check my uterus and it was the worst pain ever. I wouldn't say they were massaging it but definitely hourly checks.
Married March 2016
DD: born 7.22.16
DS EDD: 6.23.18
Witch Hazel pads are amazing for lining your pad with. Very soothing and helps as you heal with itching if you get stitches. Also random: I was TERRIFIED of the stitches but I didn’t think it was that bad. Maybe because I had just pushed a baby out so it seemed like nothing.
I was SO shocked by the amount of blood I lost after baby.. the mesh panties and massive pads were lifesavers. I brought a lot of comfy clothes from home to the hospital but found that the hospital robe & gown they gave me were much more practical with all the checkups and pad changes they do during your stay. After I was home, I mostly just wore a black pajama gown and robe when I was at home, and flowy dresses when I left the house.
the uterine massage hurts like hell, but for me it was necessary. they missed a bunch of huge clots in my uterus right after baby was born, so it couldn’t really contract on it’s own and by morning I was still losing an incredible amount of blood so they had to do another massage to get the last of the clots out. It felt like I was giving birth all over again, but after that I felt so much better.
I had a second-degree tear. I have no lingering effects and boning feels great.
I wore yoga pants/sweatpants and my husband's flannel shirts (which were mostly unbuttoned all the time from trying to breastfeed/pump).
I had to have fundal massage and was totally freaking out about it, but for me (I had a vaginal birth), it was just slightly uncomfortable. Not really painful at all.
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
Edited because words are hard.
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
@missylaneous419 you spray while you pee after the birth because if you have a vaginal birth there is lots of stretching and tearing and it burns like hell. The warm water spray helps clean it all up down there and take away the burn. It also actually helped me start to go. It's such a mental game after so much trauma on that area to convince yourself to pee, but the bottle helps so much.
I will also say - sex after tears. It took me a good 6 months for it to not hurt. Lube is the only solution at that point. Now that I'm nearly 5 years out from my last birth, it doesn't hurt and I don't require the lube, but I would say that for at least the first year after birth, we needed to lube it up.
I only used the boat pads for a week or so. Then moved to thin normal ones. Can't remember how long.
and just some advice. Since no one knows for sure if you'll end up having a csection... go buy some cheap high waisted grandma underwear to have on hand. So it can go up over your incision. I bought them by accident and was sooooo glad I had them on hand when I got home. All my others would rub! And if I leaked on them, I didn't care. They got thrown away anyway. If you don't need them, great. Return the package.
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
Mesh underwear is a life saver.
Keep "supplies" in all bathrooms you use - extra mesh underwear, peri bottles, pads, witch hazel pads, ice packs, numbing spray.
COLACE. Ask for it at the hospital immediately after delivery.
Sitz baths or just baths in your tub help keep you clean / help you heal if you tear.
Nipple butter. I used Earth Mama Angel Baby. It doesn't need to be washed off prior to nursing.
Soothie packs - I think I used the ones from Avent - during the first few weeks of BFing.
Donut pillows saved me after tearing.
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
How long did you have to wear pads for? I.e. how long were you bleeding? I bled for 6 weeks. I used the heavy duty pads (some moms I know used adult diapers) for the first week or so, then switched to more normal pads. I was using liners for a long time. I tore really badly (3d degree), needed a laser revision at 6 months and wasn't cleared postpartum until 12 weeks. So my experience is probably on the extreme end. As an FYI, it is normal to bleed golf ball size clots postpartum. I was told to call if anything was the size of an orange.
If you tore, do you still have discomfort from it when having sex? No discomfort now. I had discomfort through 9 months or so (the time of the revision). After that, it was much better. But I also didn't attempt having sex until close to 6 months postpartum.
What did you wear postpartum? The mesh undies and pads seem bulky and not conducive to anything remotely cute. Just a robe? A night gown? Your husbands sweats? Mesh undies aren't bulky - the pads and ice packs, however, are. I wore jersey knit pants, yoga pants and sweat pants for the first few weeks. I also had a robe, but only put that on MOTN if I was cold.
Did your uterus contract on its own or did you have to have fundal massage? Is the fundal massage a requirement for everyone? I hear it is excruciating. Mine contracted on its own. I know the nurses did a uterus massage at the hospital post-delivery but I don't remember pain at all.
Yes to the frozen pads! I think I bled for 5 or 6 weeks...definitely felt like I made up for not having a period for 9 months. I think I could switch to "regular" high flow pads after maybe a week or two.
I'm probably the minority here, but my doc didn't give me any stool softeners and a few days after giving birth I was rocking the baby in the nursery in the evening and it just hit me that I had to go...and lets just say that things just started falling out...I had ZERO control over those muscles. I ran into my bedroom, basically threw the baby to DH as poo was falling out and made my way to the bathroom as quickly (slow post partum waddle) as I could. Not glamorous.
I had a July baby and lived in jammie pants/maternity shorts and a nursing tank most all of the time. If I got chilly I threw on a cardigan. The majority of the time I think the nursing cami was "open" letting the girls breathe so my leaking boobs didn't dry and get stuck to my top because peeling my nips off of my shirt HURT
One other thing - - I had a catheter post-birth (I think this is unusual for most people) and never got the urge back to pee before I left the hospital. I didn't get the urge back for a good couple days after getting home. I had to set a timer so I would go to the bathroom because otherwise, I would pee all over myself.
Postpartum is glamorous y'all.