My biggest fear is uterine/bladder/rectal prolapse. I don't know how common this actually is but apparently pregnancy/childbirth is the main cause. When I had the weird uncomfortable tampon sensation around week 5 all Google ever spat out was "prolapse." Was checked out by two different OB/GYN nurses who said they weren't able to see anything, and one suggested swelling/edema of the lady parts as a reason. I have read (thanks Google) that some prolapses can't be detected unless examined while standing up (gravity and all). Is any of this a legitimate concern?
So I just read the May post that inspired this one... and was crazy surprised at all of the responses to this post.
1) I would just like to thank you all for the overall lack of snark on our BMB. My Jan17 board was pretty snarky and it's one of the reasons I didn't push to join the FB group. 2) I would agree with most of the S+TM advice on here. 1) When we get later into our pregnancies and start a hospital bag thread we will all say it again, but bring a big bag that is almost completely empty. TAKE EVERYTHING. If it enters your room it belongs to you! 2) Mesh underwear is not glam- it's not sexy- your nether regions will be bulkier than your infants diapers- completely worth it. Don't worry about what you are going to look like after birth. You won't care at the time. Comfort- comfort is all that matters. 3) Peri while you pee- everyone sing it to the whistle while you work theme. 4) Colace immediately at the hospital and order some for post delivery too (if you aren't already taking it).
My post-partum recovery was pretty easy compared with some of the stories above. I didn't have to have the massages, my nurse even said she wished she was training someone because my uterus was reacting perfectly. I did had an issue with chaffing from wearing a pad for so long. My OB told me to use diaper cream or aquaphor. If you have sensitive skin normally, this is something you may want to watch for.
Length of time in pads- I was in the mesh undies/ adult diapers for 3-4 days. Big A$$ pads for 2 weeks and normal pads for 1 more weeks before I went to the dr. I thought I had an infection because the chaffing was so bad- my doctor gave me the all clear to start wearing tampons and resume sex/ exercise at that point. It took another month before exercise or sex even seemed at all appealing. Sex was uncomfortable for 2-3 months after- and only really got pleasurable again around the time we conceived this little one.
Last advice for right now (I'm sure I'll have more as I remember more). Beware of the beachbody pushers out there. I had DD right after XMas so I was blessed with winter as a recovery time, but June will not be as friendly. I'm sure we will be getting more pressure to bounce back- F them all. You are going to take months to grow a person inside your body- it's gonna take months to bounce back.
Has anyone heard of there being any correlation at all between how heavy/long your typical periods are compared with how much you bleed after birth? (My typical periods were a heavy tampon every hour for 5-7 days, still with plenty of leaking, etc., soooo lol hoping that doesn't translate to bleeding like a MFer... no fibroids or anything in my case, so just random.)
Has anyone heard of there being any correlation at all between how heavy/long your typical periods are compared with how much you bleed after birth? (My typical periods were a heavy tampon every hour for 5-7 days, still with plenty of leaking, etc., soooo lol hoping that doesn't translate to bleeding like a MFer... no fibroids or anything in my case, so just random.)
I had super light periods before getting pregnant with my first and after I had him I bled heavily for 6 weeks. So for me there wasn’t a correlation! But I’m not sure for everyone
@krashke - I didn't do them leading up to birth but the doc did during pushing- I only had a "scratch" (doc's words- she confirmed not a full blown tear) but it was bleeding enough to require a stitch or two
Even if you didn’t tear, your lady bits stretched an amazing amount - there is swelling and tenderness. Peri while you pee helps dilute the pee so it doesn’t sting. It also washes everything down there off, because you are going to want to pat dry (not wipe) for a while.
Even if you didn’t tear, your lady bits stretched an amazing amount - there is swelling and tenderness. Peri while you pee helps dilute the pee so it doesn’t sting. It also washes everything down there off, because you are going to want to pat dry (not wipe) for a while.
Yes to everything that has been mentioned so far! The biggest highlights for me would be: - Ask for so many packs of the mesh undies. They’re so much more comfortable and less to worry about making a mess of than regular underwear. - After having 3rd degree tear with 4 sutures, there’s SO much swelling. Ice and an anti inflammatory (ibuprofen) were a must. Dermaplast spray after the first day or so. - Stool softeners immediately! - Don’t forget your waffle cushion or donut pillow at the hospital when you go home - The Lansinoh soothing gel pads to cover your nipples to prevent chafing and they can be refrigerated for extra relief! I only tried breastfeeding for the first 2 days and my nipples felt like they had been put through a grinder.
My first baby was a July baby. I didn’t want long pants but didn’t want my huge gigantic pads showing through capri leggings so I cut off some regular thicker sweatpants into capris instead. I only wore the huge pads until I left the hospital and then switched to the super heavy overnight pads for about 3 weeks. And then regular pads for probably another 2 weeks. You will be truly shocked when you first get out of bed and still look like you’re fully 40 weeks preggo. At least I had expected to look a few weeks smaller after the 8 lb baby came out, but not so much. Give yourself a week and you will look like you thought you would have after birth. Flowy maternity t shirt dresses were also comfy post partum for this reason.
@doxiemoxie212 - I didn't know to ask my doc about it and I was very go with the flow about the whole delivery process. I never asked about timing contractions or anything so I was 10cm by the time I showed up to the hospital so everything happened super fast. My doc couldn't get there in time but a different doc from the practice did and she just told me she was going to do it. I'm 100% positive if you ask your doc about it they will know all about it and would likely have done it anyway...or at least the nurses, I just didn't have much nurse interaction other than triage. I have a friend who is a L&D nurse and SWEARS by it (I learned this after the fact, lol)
About an hour or two after delivery, I vomited for a solid hour. Nurse and the doctor both said it was normal after delivery. Just my body's reaction to the trauma of birth and also the meds leaving my body. I bled for about 4-5 weeks after delivery. Frozen pads were a lifesaver as some of the other ladies mentioned above! It was the end of October when I delivered so I pretty much stuck with granny panties, leggings and sweats.
The first night in the hospital, the nurse brought DD to me to try to BF. I'll be totally honest that it was awkward for me trying to figure out how to get the hang of it and it didn't come as "naturally" as I thought all motherly things would once I was an actual mom! The nurse had me keep her on the boob for HOURS. My nips were so raw and bleeding that all I could do was cry. It was not a good start to our short BF'ing journey. After seeing how much pain I was in, they hesitantly offered me a "nipple shield" which helped for the first few weeks. I hope that this time around, I'll have better support and have the confidence to tell my care providers when something doesn't seem right.
1. Keep the peri bottle. It’s not going to feel good trying to get all up in there to clear out blood. Squirting water helps tremendously.
2. They patched me up with a huge bandage after surgery that felt almost like a girdle holding me together. They wanted me to get in the shower and remove it. I did NOT want to do this. I had all sorts of ideas about falling apart once my girdle bandage was removed...but it must be done.
3. DO NOT get the idea you want to touch the incision area in the shower a week after when stitches or staples are removed. It feels like two thick slices of ham glued together. It will not stay this way and it’s so gross I encourage you to spare yourself.
4. You’ve got to keep that incision area so dry. I kept a dry towel (often refreshed) that I used to pat the area with often. Anything restrictive like jeans is going to be a big old no, but you want something more than a skirt to help hold everything together. I wore a lot of pajama pants even going back and forth from home to the NICU.
5. Mesh underwear and mattress sized pads from the hospital are everything. Horde them, hide them, ask for more. Mesh panties can be bought on amazon. My husband refreshed my supply for a while after I came home.
6. When induced/laboring whatever: I don’t recommend allowing them to give you IV drugs for pain (worthless in my opinion - still hurts but now you’re drunk and mostly unresponsive) AND an epidural. Pick one (I vote epidural) or at least take into consideration your sensitivity to drugs. I was a vegetable with IV drugs that was still in 100% pain, I just only was aware of that and nothing else. Le suck.
6. When induced/laboring whatever: I don’t recommend allowing them to give you IV drugs for pain (worthless in my opinion - still hurts but now you’re drunk and mostly unresponsive) AND an epidural. Pick one (I vote epidural) or at least take into consideration your sensitivity to drugs. I was a vegetable with IV drugs that was still in 100% pain, I just only was aware of that and nothing else. Le suck.
If anyone decides to take a BF’ing class and they tell you, “If you’re doing it right, it won’t hurt,” they LIE!!! BF’ing is very painful for about 2 weeks, then it stops hurting.
When induced/laboring whatever: I don’t recommend allowing them to give you IV drugs for pain (worthless in my opinion - still hurts but now you’re drunk and mostly unresponsive) AND an epidural. Pick one (I vote epidural) or at least take into consideration your sensitivity to drugs. I was a vegetable with IV drugs that was still in 100% pain, I just only was aware of that and nothing else. Le suck.
If you want drugs/ epidural- the bolded 100%!! I asked for IV drugs before I eventually requested my epidural and it was 100% worthless. I felt hammered and the room was spinning and I COULDNT MAKE IT STOP!! Granted everyone is different, but in my experience it was miserable. I would never ask for those ever again
@jsl82 I absolutely hate when moms are made to feel like bouncing back quickly is absolutely essential. It IRKS me to my core. If you take 9 months to grow something why should I be expected to be back in 1 or 2. I'm not purposely getting fat but I've had the curvy (albeit short) body most women want since I was 12, if I take a year or 2 to have a couple babies OH WELL.
Yes to breastfeeding still hurting even though you are doing it right! Every latch brought me nearly to tears for the first few weeks. Also, adding to that.. breastfeeding in general can be just really hard. Physically, mentally & emotionally. I wasn’t prepared for that, but I was determined to make it work. Even after baby & I got the hang of latching, I really had to push through the first few months of it. Once 3 months hit, it was completely different & I actually got to enjoy that “bonding experience” I always heard about and I was so sad when I had to stop at 12 months.
another thing I thought of.. prepare for major night sweats after baby! I slept on a towel most nights because they were so insane.
Also leaky boobs are no joke. I slept with extra absorbent nursing pads in my nursing bra every night and still woke up with my tshirt & sheets completely drenched.
this isn't TMI but I feel I need to say it. if your hospital allows the baby to be in the nursery at night.... take some advantage!! I know moms that said they'd feel weird doing that. we did it every night. they brought him to me to feed then I was able to get alittle rest.
me:35 DH:34 DS: born oct 2012 TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16 BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17 BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18 fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
C section: So when the we’re getting DD out she was shoved in my ribs because she was frank breech. I couldn’t take the pain even with the epidural so as soon as DD was out they gave me IV drugs. During recovery, as the meds wore off, I WAS SO ITCHY. It was terrible. Every inch of me was itchy.
Also, If you have a c section ask for a girdle!! I bought a postpartum one but I couldn’t fit into it yet, and the hospital one was great. It just made me feel like everything was held together haha
Me: 28 | Husband: 39 Married March 2016 DD: born 7.22.16 DS EDD: 6.23.18
Yes to a postpartum girdle CS or not. I used spanx. They make them specifically for this purpose too, of course. It helps things go back in place and gives your back a needed break.
I am a plus size woman (18/20 pre-pregnancy, not sure what to expect post pregnancy). Will they have things that fit larger women in the hospital? I.e. the stuff you're talking about: mesh panties, girdles, etc.
Another vote for the Earth Mama Angel baby nipple butter! I didn't have that with my first and ended up with mastitis twice and the absolute worst cracked bleeding nipples in the world. I had that stuff on round 2 and I don't know how much of it was just that I knew a little better what I was doing and my 2nd had a much better latch right from the start, but that stuff was amazing! I didn't get cracked nipples one time with my #2. And like others have said - nursing hurts and it's hard as heck! It's not this euphoric earth mama moment where you feel one with your baby and nature............it's painful at first. Curl your toes and cringe when your baby latches on painful - BUT.....once you guys get it (it takes both momma and baby to get a good nursing relationship) it's AMAZING! No judgment for those who choose not to stick with it, but if you can get past that first few weeks, it's worth it to have that wonderful bond with your baby.
I’m one of the lucky ones that had tears (second degree) that made sex painful. It’s not in every position but there are some positions that I can’t do. I’m 17m postpartum and it’s still tender. I’ve spoke to my Ob about it several times and the consensus was to wait until I was done breastfeeding and see if my hormones helped heal the tenderness more. Butttt I got pregnant again, so maybe third times the charm on getting stitched up without pain.
A lot of my thoughts have already been covered: peri bottle, witch hazel pads to line the giant hospital pads, colace helped a ton. I had a second degree tear and recovery was pretty easy and I think that helped with the pain.
Things that hurt less than I expected: fundal massage (could be because I had had an epidural?), first PP poop (my friend said it was worse than hurt med free child birth), and sex (TMI but lots of lube and "don't you dare touch my boobs" and I was ready to go )
What hurt waaay worse than I could imagine: nursing! Like razor blades slicing my nipples every time time he ate for weeks. I would cry about half the time I fed him. The thing that saved our nursing relationship was "All Purpose Nipple Cream" (you can Google it - it's a mixture of antibiotic, antifungal and something else I think). My OB wrote me a prescription at my 6 week appt and after using it for a few weeks, I was finally pain free. It has to be made at a compounding pharmacy and it's not cheap, but it was so worth it. I'll be asking my OB for a prescription before the birth this time, just in case I need it.
Um...another thing I want to bring up just because it shocked me, as I'd never heard of it as a symptom (pregnancy, not post partum). You can get varicose veins on your vulva. I was washing in the shower sometime during the 3rd tri and something felt weird. I looked in the hand mirror and almost passed out. I was super freaked out and thought I would not be able have a vaginal birth. My OB said it's not that uncommon and shouldn't affect labor at all (it didn't and they are totally gone). She also said told me when she was a new Dr, she was delivering a baby and the woman had such bad veins that it looked like medusa... You're welcome for that visual...
And yes @jsl82 eff those people who send you info on how to get your "pre baby body back". I had a FB friend from high school send my a message about isagenix 2 weeks (!!) after I had my baby. Anything to make a $ Ignore them, please, you just made a human!
1. My skin was irritated by the mesh panties with my first birth (red and rashy) but not my second. #1 Was a c section in the winter. #2 was a vaginal in summer.
2. I bled more with my vaginal than with my C section.
3. It's not the tears that made sex painful for me it was the dried up vagina. Your estrogen drops when you nurse (my OB said my vagina looked like a post-menopausal woman.) My sex drive also plummeted. It goes back to normal as soon as I wean.
@silvergreen I have only heard of prolapse being an issue after birth. In the U.S. postnatal care is pretty minimal so no one's going to be asking/monitoring you for prolapse issues. You'd have to seek out a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic floor issues. I have not had big issues just a little bit of incontinence the first 3 months that went away as I healed. If I experience serious incontinence or pain during sex that doesn't go away I will see a PT specialist. (I like my OBs but I think PTs have better expertise on pelvic floor health.)
No one prepared me for what postpartum anxiety was. I let myself suffer and hurt my husband in the process. I regret not getting help so, so, so much sooner! I regret my maternity leave because o really truly felt so awful during all of it and only started to feel marginally normal after going back to work.
My advice is to read up on signs and symptoms of both post partum depression AND anxiety. Make sure someone who supports you knows what to look for too.
I'm already planning to discuss this with my care team prior to delivery this time because I do not want to experience that again and be an awful wife to dh and mother to dd.
You may think you know what tired is - but trust me when I say, that nothing can prepare you for the sleep deprivation of those first couple of months (or longer).
@BurlapandLace YES!! Both of my kids were HORRIFIC sleepers. I had days when I couldn’t have driven if I needed to because I was just so damn tired. And if you have any PPD/Anxiety it can make it a million times worse. When people come to see the baby, don’t feel rude going to take a nap if you need it! Let people help you.
Re: S+TM AMA/Tell All/TMI for FTM's
1) I would just like to thank you all for the overall lack of snark on our BMB. My Jan17 board was pretty snarky and it's one of the reasons I didn't push to join the FB group.
2) I would agree with most of the S+TM advice on here.
1) When we get later into our pregnancies and start a hospital bag thread we will all say it again, but bring a big bag that is almost completely empty. TAKE EVERYTHING. If it enters your room it belongs to you!
2) Mesh underwear is not glam- it's not sexy- your nether regions will be bulkier than your infants diapers- completely worth it. Don't worry about what you are going to look like after birth. You won't care at the time. Comfort- comfort is all that matters.
3) Peri while you pee- everyone sing it to the whistle while you work theme.
4) Colace immediately at the hospital and order some for post delivery too (if you aren't already taking it).
My post-partum recovery was pretty easy compared with some of the stories above. I didn't have to have the massages, my nurse even said she wished she was training someone because my uterus was reacting perfectly. I did had an issue with chaffing from wearing a pad for so long. My OB told me to use diaper cream or aquaphor. If you have sensitive skin normally, this is something you may want to watch for.
Length of time in pads- I was in the mesh undies/ adult diapers for 3-4 days. Big A$$ pads for 2 weeks and normal pads for 1 more weeks before I went to the dr. I thought I had an infection because the chaffing was so bad- my doctor gave me the all clear to start wearing tampons and resume sex/ exercise at that point. It took another month before exercise or sex even seemed at all appealing. Sex was uncomfortable for 2-3 months after- and only really got pleasurable again around the time we conceived this little one.
Last advice for right now (I'm sure I'll have more as I remember more). Beware of the beachbody pushers out there. I had DD right after XMas so I was blessed with winter as a recovery time, but June will not be as friendly. I'm sure we will be getting more pressure to bounce back- F them all. You are going to take months to grow a person inside your body- it's gonna take months to bounce back.
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
Yes to the peri bottle!!
Also! I brought my boppy (nursing pillow) to the hospital and sat on it after delivering because I was so sore!
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/multimedia/vaginal-tears/sls-20077129?s=2
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
- Ask for so many packs of the mesh undies. They’re so much more comfortable and less to worry about making a mess of than regular underwear.
- After having 3rd degree tear with 4 sutures, there’s SO much swelling. Ice and an anti inflammatory (ibuprofen) were a must. Dermaplast spray after the first day or so.
- Stool softeners immediately!
- Don’t forget your waffle cushion or donut pillow at the hospital when you go home
- The Lansinoh soothing gel pads to cover your nipples to prevent chafing and they can be refrigerated for extra relief! I only tried breastfeeding for the first 2 days and my nipples felt like they had been put through a grinder.
My first baby was a July baby. I didn’t want long pants but didn’t want my huge gigantic pads showing through capri leggings so I cut off some regular thicker sweatpants into capris instead. I only wore the huge pads until I left the hospital and then switched to the super heavy overnight pads for about 3 weeks. And then regular pads for probably another 2 weeks.
You will be truly shocked when you first get out of bed and still look like you’re fully 40 weeks preggo. At least I had expected to look a few weeks smaller after the 8 lb baby came out, but not so much. Give yourself a week and you will look like you thought you would have after birth. Flowy maternity t shirt dresses were also comfy post partum for this reason.
The first night in the hospital, the nurse brought DD to me to try to BF. I'll be totally honest that it was awkward for me trying to figure out how to get the hang of it and it didn't come as "naturally" as I thought all motherly things would once I was an actual mom! The nurse had me keep her on the boob for HOURS. My nips were so raw and bleeding that all I could do was cry. It was not a good start to our short BF'ing journey. After seeing how much pain I was in, they hesitantly offered me a "nipple shield" which helped for the first few weeks. I hope that this time around, I'll have better support and have the confidence to tell my care providers when something doesn't seem right.
1. Keep the peri bottle. It’s not going to feel good trying to get all up in there to clear out blood. Squirting water helps tremendously.
2. They patched me up with a huge bandage after surgery that felt almost like a girdle holding me together. They wanted me to get in the shower and remove it. I did NOT want to do this. I had all sorts of ideas about falling apart once my girdle bandage was removed...but it must be done.
3. DO NOT get the idea you want to touch the incision area in the shower a week after when stitches or staples are removed. It feels like two thick slices of ham glued together. It will not stay this way and it’s so gross I encourage you to spare yourself.
4. You’ve got to keep that incision area so dry. I kept a dry towel (often refreshed) that I used to pat the area with often. Anything restrictive like jeans is going to be a big old no, but you want something more than a skirt to help hold everything together. I wore a lot of pajama pants even going back and forth from home to the NICU.
5. Mesh underwear and mattress sized pads from the hospital are everything. Horde them, hide them, ask for more. Mesh panties can be bought on amazon. My husband refreshed my supply for a while after I came home.
6. When induced/laboring whatever: I don’t recommend allowing them to give you IV drugs for pain (worthless in my opinion - still hurts but now you’re drunk and mostly unresponsive) AND an epidural. Pick one (I vote epidural) or at least take into consideration your sensitivity to drugs. I was a vegetable with IV drugs that was still in 100% pain, I just only was aware of that and nothing else. Le suck.
I absolutely hate when moms are made to feel like bouncing back quickly is absolutely essential. It IRKS me to my core. If you take 9 months to grow something why should I be expected to be back in 1 or 2. I'm not purposely getting fat but I've had the curvy (albeit short) body most women want since I was 12, if I take a year or 2 to have a couple babies OH WELL.
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
Also, adding to that.. breastfeeding in general can be just really hard. Physically, mentally & emotionally. I wasn’t prepared for that, but I was determined to make it work. Even after baby & I got the hang of latching, I really had to push through the first few months of it. Once 3 months hit, it was completely different & I actually got to enjoy that “bonding experience” I always heard about and I was so sad when I had to stop at 12 months.
another thing I thought of.. prepare for major night sweats after baby! I slept on a towel most nights because they were so insane.
Also leaky boobs are no joke. I slept with extra absorbent nursing pads in my nursing bra every night and still woke up with my tshirt & sheets completely drenched.
Also, I didn't tear at all and the peri bottle was still a must!
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
Also, If you have a c section ask for a girdle!! I bought a postpartum one but I couldn’t fit into it yet, and the hospital one was great. It just made me feel like everything was held together haha
Married March 2016
DD: born 7.22.16
DS EDD: 6.23.18
Yes to a postpartum girdle CS or not. I used spanx. They make them specifically for this purpose too, of course. It helps things go back in place and gives your back a needed break.
Things that hurt less than I expected: fundal massage (could be because I had had an epidural?), first PP poop (my friend said it was worse than hurt med free child birth), and sex (TMI but lots of lube and "don't you dare touch my boobs" and I was ready to go
What hurt waaay worse than I could imagine: nursing! Like razor blades slicing my nipples every time time he ate for weeks. I would cry about half the time I fed him. The thing that saved our nursing relationship was "All Purpose Nipple Cream" (you can Google it - it's a mixture of antibiotic, antifungal and something else I think). My OB wrote me a prescription at my 6 week appt and after using it for a few weeks, I was finally pain free. It has to be made at a compounding pharmacy and it's not cheap, but it was so worth it. I'll be asking my OB for a prescription before the birth this time, just in case I need it.
Um...another thing I want to bring up just because it shocked me, as I'd never heard of it as a symptom (pregnancy, not post partum). You can get varicose veins on your vulva. I was washing in the shower sometime during the 3rd tri and something felt weird. I looked in the hand mirror and almost passed out. I was super freaked out and thought I would not be able have a vaginal birth. My OB said it's not that uncommon and shouldn't affect labor at all (it didn't and they are totally gone). She also said told me when she was a new Dr, she was delivering a baby and the woman had such bad veins that it looked like medusa...
And yes @jsl82 eff those people who send you info on how to get your "pre baby body back". I had a FB friend from high school send my a message about isagenix 2 weeks (!!) after I had my baby. Anything to make a $
1. My skin was irritated by the mesh panties with my first birth (red and rashy) but not my second. #1 Was a c section in the winter. #2 was a vaginal in summer.
2. I bled more with my vaginal than with my C section.
3. It's not the tears that made sex painful for me it was the dried up vagina. Your estrogen drops when you nurse (my OB said my vagina looked like a post-menopausal woman.) My sex drive also plummeted. It goes back to normal as soon as I wean.
My advice is to read up on signs and symptoms of both post partum depression AND anxiety. Make sure someone who supports you knows what to look for too.
I'm already planning to discuss this with my care team prior to delivery this time because I do not want to experience that again and be an awful wife to dh and mother to dd.
You may think you know what tired is - but trust me when I say, that nothing can prepare you for the sleep deprivation of those first couple of months (or longer).