Oh my god, all your fricking hair. I was basically bald. And then you'll get all these little sprout-y baby hairs all around your part and your hairline, from all the hair that is growing back at once. I still have those now, and now we're starting the whole thing over again...
Me: 34 Husband: 35 Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17 BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
Yes, ppd and anxiety is something you need to look out for. I had it mildly, but it was still miserable. Don't hesitate to go see your ob if you feel you have it. Meds helped me so much, and I was only on them for a short time. It doesn't mean you're gonna be on them forever, ppd is usually short lived. I was on them for two months and weaned off with no issues.
You need to watch for high blood pressure after birth too. I didn’t have any issues throughout either pregnancy or before I was pregnant. After my 2nd I happened to be googling to see how long my feet would stay insanely swollen and it happened to say it is only concerning if accompanied by a headache, which I had. I drove to CVS to take my blood pressure on the machine there - very high. I called my OB who had me come right in. It was still so high that they sent me immediately to the ER. Up until then I never thought about blood pressure issues after birth.
Thank you mamas! I have started my list from this thread.
Question - my ob says he requires an IV (no drugs, just IV in case of emergency c), requires fetal monitoring, and requires you be 4cm before doing an epidural. Is this in line with your experiences?
Did you ask to also be monitored during labor or was this standard practice?
@ramblebee I was saline locked and had portable fetal monitoring so I could still get up and walk around. Epidural sounds about right but I waited awhile to get mine so I don't know at what point the would have told me it's too early.
No one prepared me for what postpartum anxiety was. I let myself suffer and hurt my husband in the process. I regret not getting help so, so, so much sooner! I regret my maternity leave because o really truly felt so awful during all of it and only started to feel marginally normal after going back to work.
My advice is to read up on signs and symptoms of both post partum depression AND anxiety. Make sure someone who supports you knows what to look for too.
I'm already planning to discuss this with my care team prior to delivery this time because I do not want to experience that again and be an awful wife to dh and mother to dd.
I agree. My experience was a little different.
I don’t have a history of depression but knew PPA/PPD was real so DH and I were cognizant of signs and were pretty vigilant about checking for the first two months or so, thinking that’s when it hits. For me, the PPA didn’t hit until 8 Months PP! It hit me like a ton of bricks because I didn’t even know that was a thing that long after giving birth. But apparently PPA/PPD can hit any time in the first year.
Knowing the signs, being open with your partner and getting help were key. I never have problems expressing my emotions, but working up the courage to tell DH I thought I was depressed was so so hard. But once I did, he leapt into action and I started going to therapy (and getting more sleep!!) - 4-6 weeks later I was in a much better place and have stayed there!
Me: 31; DH: 31 NTNP: May 2015 TTC #1: late August 2015 PCOS Dx: January 2016, starting Femara Feb 2016 BFP: 2/29/16 - Happy Leap Day!
Yes! I had PPA that I should have dealt with much sooner - but I brushed it off as just being tired (DS was and still is an AWFUL sleeper). But after the first few months it seemed to be getting better. Than out of nowhere, it hit me like a sack of bricks again at 8 months post partum.
PPD/PPA are very common and not something to be ashamed about. I wish I had pushed my doctor for help. I mentioned it to her in the beginning but she brushed it off as normal baby blues. I have a history of depression and anxiety and I knew better - but I just figured I would handle it on my own. I know I would have been a better wife and mother, and self, if I had pushed for help at the time.
I can share my experience for the question about sharing a recovery room. I decided to take the cheaper option of possibly sharing the recovery room with my DS, NEVER again! DS was born at 1:45 in the afternoon, after a 45 hour long labor (I was exhausted). At 3 in the morning we got our room mate. The nurses barged in, it didn't seem like they were trying to be quiet at all and they turned on all the lights not just the ones on the side of the room they needed. Needless to say DS woke up, I woke up, and DH woke up. It took at least 2 hours for them to turn off all the lights. By then the room mates husband was asleep and snoring like a chainsaw! I got zero sleep after they arrived. Also when family visits it's really awkward having other people in the room. This time I am going ask for a private recovery room.
@ramblebee my OB does not require IV if you aren't getting an epidural. On the 4 cm thing, IDK. It hasn't come up for me. (Both times I was at least 4 cm by the time I checked in.) Have you asked why that's a policy? Also ask what if you're induced (would they make you do pitocin contractions until you're 4 cm before giving you an epi?)
@ramblebee I had a heplock, so I wasn't tethered to an IV (until later when I needed antibiotics) My OB said it was standard so they have quick access if they do need to give you anything through IV. I asked for intermittent monitoring, so I was online hooked up to the machine for 20 minutes out of every hour. Those 20 minutes, I was confined to the bed but other than that I was free to move.
Oh my god, all your fricking hair. I was basically bald. And then you'll get all these little sprout-y baby hairs all around your part and your hairline, from all the hair that is growing back at once. I still have those now, and now we're starting the whole thing over again...
Yeah, the regrowth is way worse than the actual hair loss for me. I have fine curly hair and I basically have a halo of 2 inch long frizz all around my head right now (14 months later...) I'm honestly more self conscience about that than I ever was about my pp body...there's basically no way for me to fix it so I'm just waiting for it to grow out (and wearing hats/headbands). Good times.
Tell me about your boobs... I am quite liking the bit of extra oomph I’ve got going on right now but I hear they just deflate and sag after BF. I may sound shallow but my boobs are a huge part of what makes me feel feminine and sexy. I know I won’t feel sexy right away but after all the dust has settled and the rest of me is “back to normal” I know I won’t feel good about myself and my relationship with MH, specifically our sex life, will suffer.
Is there anything that can be done to help prevent the coins in a tube sock look? Or should I just start saving for a boob job now?
*TW LC*
Me & MH: 32 DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU) TTC #2: 12/2019 Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
@krashke ~ you will find that a lot of your body will never look the same again after having a baby. Your hips are currently widening to make room for baby, and much to my surprise, they don’t go back after you have delivered.
Things are stretching and growing. And while your body will mostly go back to how it was before pregnancy, it won’t ever be 100% the same.
Your boobs are already bigger than they were previous to you getting pregnant. And after delivery, when your milk comes in, they will get much bigger, believe it or not. So no, they will never be the same. It’s not about breastfeeding. It’s about the fact that your boobs aren’t going to double or triple in size from pre-pregnancy and after your milk goes away (whether that is after a period of breastfeeding or because you choose not to breastfeed for one reason or another) your boobs will go back to prepregnacy size - so they are going to look different than they didn’t before. Simply because of how much they grow and stretch in and after pregnancy.
OMG the night sweats. Completely forgot about those. They are no joke.
Alos, please be on the lookout for PPD. I had it. Everyone knew it but me, but nobody thought to tell me. When I went for my 6 week PP checkup, my doctor gave me a questionnaire and when I failed it, I started on Zoloft. It was like night and day. I felt SO much better and actually enjoyed spending time with DD.
I've already given my lecture on PPD / PPA in another thread, but I'm happy to share more if you want. Bottom line - read about it now, know the symptoms, make sure your partner knows the symptoms. It affects a lot of women, please do not be embarrased to discuss. I am willing to talk to anyone who is concerned.
@ramblebee I'd ask more about your doctor's policy. For example, if you are induced, can you get an epidural earlier? I got to the hospital at 4 cm and didn't get the epidural until I was 8cm and in transition, so I didn't have an IV until that point. I needed the IV for fluids before I could get the epidural. I honestly cannot remember when they added the fetal monitoring to me, but it was after I hit 8 cm (I was in the shower between 4-8cm - - it only took 45 minutes for me to progress). It may have only been after I got the epidural and was in bed, because I was moving around before that. I ended up needing the internal monitoring since they had trouble getting the HB externally.
@krashke my boobs definitely got smaller after BF, but I wouldn't say they deflated. They certainly aren't perky, but they never were (I was 36DDD prepregnancy)
@krashke I know I've already mentioned that I have small boobs, but mine actually got even smaller after I was done pumping and my milk dried up, which I did not think was even possible, ha. Their shape didn't change much, though...I'd still call them pretty perky. My boobs never changed a lot during pregnancy and breastfeeding, though, so that may have something to do with it. Ultimately, there really isn't much you can do to prevent your body from doing what it's going to do.
And just to jump on what @BurlapandLace said: it's different for everyone, but the rest of your body probably won't really "go back to normal" either. I got back down to my pre-preg weight pretty quickly, but my body is just shaped differently now, and I carry weight in places I didn't before.
I think it's good that you're being honest with yourself about how you think the changes in your boobs/body are going to affect you, and maybe this is something you can start talking to your H about now. I will say, though...I care a lot less about what my body looks like now than I thought I would. I went through what I consider a pretty profound change in my relationship with my body, in a good way, and something similar may or may not happen for you. You might just have to wait and see.
Me: 34 Husband: 35 Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17 BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
Thank you mamas! I have started my list from this thread.
Question - my ob says he requires an IV (no drugs, just IV in case of emergency c), requires fetal monitoring, and requires you be 4cm before doing an epidural. Is this in line with your experiences?
Did you ask to also be monitored during labor or was this standard practice?
Thank you
You might ask if he will let you have a hep lock instead of starting the IV. (That’s where they get the port ready in case you need to get an IV). My OB let me do that so that I could labor in the shower (best thing ever btw!!). Then I had to get out every once and a while for fetal monitoring. I wouldn’t worry about the 4cm before epidural. With DS1 I didn’t even want one until I was a 5, and DS2 I didn’t even get to the hospital until I was at 5. Then no epidural till 9cm.
@krashke maybe if you're concerned about boob changes affecting how sexy you see yourself, try incorporating some fun lingerie into your sex routine now? That way if you don't really feel comfortable showing your bare boobs at first whenever that shift happens, it won't feel like such a change?
I spent far too much time last night trying to find before and after pictures of women's boobs from having children. I know its not realistic to think my body will be exactly what it was like before a baby but this is the one thing that I think will really affect my body image and in a deeper way.
MH likes to watch me get dressed in the mornings so he can see my boobs and sings "it's the most wonderful time of the day" to the tune of the Christmas song. This morning I half jokingly said "you know they wont look like this after I'm done nursing" and he said "can't you just do peck exercises?" No. That's not how this works. Then I told him to start saving for my boob job for when we're done having kids. I'm not opposed to using surgery to change my body if it is something that affects me emotionally. Maybe I will feel different some day.
*TW LC*
Me & MH: 32 DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU) TTC #2: 12/2019 Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
@krashke Your story about YH made me literally laugh out loud!
Also, no shame in the plastic surgery game. I had a 100 lb + weight loss about 13 years ago and got a tummy tuck, the girls lifted and silicone implants. I felt so much better. I'm sure I'll do it all again after babies because my body is important to me and excess skin/boob stuff is not a thing you can just "fix" at the gym.
@krashke I would totally get a boob job one day. I always wanted one. But I've always been uncomfortable with my body. I don't get dressed in front of my boyfriend. He's sweet and kind and not judgmental at all. It's all me. I'm just weird. I know my large tatas are going to take a plunge. Hopefully one day I will be able to correct it. I used to tell my ex I was a long term work in progress. I may be a mess now but I will be a hot cougar one day when I can afford plastics (wishful thinking lol).
@krashke I completely understand the nervousness around the changes in your boobs. As someone who had her first baby 6 weeks before turning 35, I had loved that my breast were still perky. MH even made comments that he thought they were fake, since they were so perky even though they were large. I'm not even done BFing DD, and I already see a huge difference. I'm wondering if this pregnancy will cause any changes or if they will remain the same, since I'm still BFing.
ETA: oops, it doesn't show the title or any info lol. "What Your Momma Never Told You About Childbirth | Marianne Ryan | TEDxWilmingtonSalon" -- She talks about physical therapy for after birth, and she does mention organ prolapse for those curious.
I got pretty self conscious about how my boobs changed as I was breastfeeding.. maybe this isn’t the case all the time, but somehow DH found them even more attractive after we had DD? He liked how soft they got after breastfeeding. I’ve heard from a lot of men that they found their wives extra sexy after having kids.. it was hard to adjust to my new body after having DD. I kind of had to train myself to see my body as my husband saw it, to feel sexy again. And it kind of allowed me to feel love towards my body that I had never felt before, which was really empowering.
@missylaneous419 I worked with a midwife both times. Opted for the hospital birth because the insurance wouldn't cover the alternative, but did both of my births without intervention - no meds, no IV's. I'm hoping for the same experience again. It was the best decision for our family and I felt my recovery was super fast. I was out of the hospital in under 24 hours both times.
yes to the deflation...whomp whomp. right after I found out I was preg this time my hubs asked if boob deflation from having a baby is legit and if mine changed or he was just imagining it (he was deployed from the time I was 3 mon pp-10 months). I was like, uhhh yeah....then he got excited cause they knew they would get massive while preg and he jokingly said he is just going to have to keep me knocked up, haha...or get a boob job, lol...we'll see what happens cause I'm not a big fan of the deflation either
Okay, so I'm a FTM, but this is just stuff I've learned watching my SIL's have children, and doing OB rotations:
-When they offer you a shower, take it - especially if you still have the bandage on from a c-section and it needs to come off. Taking that tape off dry skin hurts, especially when it's been on overnight/for hours. Water will make it hurt less coming off! Plus, you'll feel more human after a shower. -Don't be afraid to ask for extra stuff before you leave. They have a hoard of everything there, and they can spare a package of pads, another peri spray bottle, a pack of tucks pads, or more mesh panties. -Speak up if you're having problems BF'ing. If it hurts immensely, if you don't think the baby is latching good, if you're not sure they're getting anything -- they have lactation consultants on staff, and nurses should be trained and capable of helping you with BF'ing as well. There's going to be nothing worse than telling the staff that you're doing great BF'ing when you're really struggling. It'll create more issues when you get home, and it'll wreak havoc on your mental health. -Don't be surprised if you vomit during/after labour. Especially if you're getting meds. Lots of hormonal changes are happening during labour.
And don't feel bad to tell people you don't want visitors for X amount of time after getting home. Or telling them they can visit for X hours, but you want help with dishes/laundry/something else. It sounds rude and demanding, but if they want to see you and baby/babies, they'll be happy to help out.
Also about visitors, but at the hospital- We went in at about 0300 and didn’t tell anyone we were there til after she was born about 1030. We knew we wanted to be alone during labor. After we told them she was born we said wait an hour and then you can come. I WISH WISH WISH we would have given ourselves more time with her alone and to rest. Even just a couple more hours would have been great. I was happy to have so much support but I think we missed out on a huge bonding opportunity!
Also, I took pictures of every family member and friend holding her the day she was born, but didn’t think to ask if anyone was taking any of me. I literally have 2 photos that a nurse took right when they placed her on my chest as she was born. That’s it. I was devastated when I figured that out.
@ramblebee - If you're giving birth in a hospital, you should definitely expect an IV (saline locked) in case you need not only a c-section, but in case you need IV drugs of any sort, or an IV drip during/after birth. Fetal monitoring usually depends on the hospital policies, but I'd ask him if you can get a portable monitor for the early labour when you may want to walk around in the halls. Or if you can do intermittent monitoring - meaning baby/contractions get monitored for so much time every hour or so, and then you can go back to walking around or showering or bathing. And the epidural being available after 4 cm is right from what I know. If you get an epi too early, you'll be stalling labour and you'll end up needing pitocin to help you get going again (which would make you need more epi drugs, which would stall labour even further, and it becomes a vicious cycle). And obviously if you're getting an epi too late, it won't help with the pain, but will instead leave you numb for however long after giving birth, which doesn't help you out at all.
@fantasticmrsfox - When the doctor says "IV in case of emergency CS/etc.", then IV = Hep/Saline lock. If nothing is running continuously, it's hep/saline locked. IV just means intravenous, meaning just the catheter they're actually putting in your vein. Not necessarily that something is running. So when @ramblebee's doctor mentioned an IV, he meant a saline lock, not actual IV fluids.
All this talk of wipes and pads, etc. I just wanted to put a PSA out there generally that Preparation H makes a wipe now and it is pretty great. I'm a FTM, but have had some issues already with constipation and the Preparation H wipes have made a huge difference for me.
@murraydog2008 that is what I am looking for--no intervention. I know birthing plans can go right out the window. But for me, personally, I am gathering info on no interventions in a hospital setting or birthing center. If I can't do it, I can't do it and that is okay. It's just been something I've always wanted.
What can they actually force you into at a hospital? Like, for instance, my hospital lets you labor in any position you want, but they will only let you push on your back or side. If I'm actually in labor, and I actually make it all that way without an epidural, and I just flat out refuse to push in those positions, like... what happens? Will they hold me down?
(Similarly, antibiotics, heplock, etc., like what can they force you to do? Will they just ask you to leave if you refuse?)
Re: S+TM AMA/Tell All/TMI for FTM's
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
https://prettyprovidence.com/diy-padsicles-postpartum/
NTNP: May 2015
TTC #1: late August 2015
PCOS Dx: January 2016, starting Femara Feb 2016
BFP: 2/29/16 - Happy Leap Day!
Question - my ob says he requires an IV (no drugs, just IV in case of emergency c), requires fetal monitoring, and requires you be 4cm before doing an epidural. Is this in line with your experiences?
Did you ask to also be monitored during labor or was this standard practice?
Thank you
I don’t have a history of depression but knew PPA/PPD was real so DH and I were cognizant of signs and were pretty vigilant about checking for the first two months or so, thinking that’s when it hits. For me, the PPA didn’t hit until 8 Months PP! It hit me like a ton of bricks because I didn’t even know that was a thing that long after giving birth. But apparently PPA/PPD can hit any time in the first year.
Knowing the signs, being open with your partner and getting help were key. I never have problems expressing my emotions, but working up the courage to tell DH I thought I was depressed was so so hard. But once I did, he leapt into action and I started going to therapy (and getting more sleep!!) - 4-6 weeks later I was in a much better place and have stayed there!
NTNP: May 2015
TTC #1: late August 2015
PCOS Dx: January 2016, starting Femara Feb 2016
BFP: 2/29/16 - Happy Leap Day!
PPD/PPA are very common and not something to be ashamed about. I wish I had pushed my doctor for help. I mentioned it to her in the beginning but she brushed it off as normal baby blues. I have a history of depression and anxiety and I knew better - but I just figured I would handle it on my own. I know I would have been a better wife and mother, and self, if I had pushed for help at the time.
Is there anything that can be done to help prevent the coins in a tube sock look? Or should I just start saving for a boob job now?
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
Things are stretching and growing. And while your body will mostly go back to how it was before pregnancy, it won’t ever be 100% the same.
Your boobs are already bigger than they were previous to you getting pregnant. And after delivery, when your milk comes in, they will get much bigger, believe it or not. So no, they will never be the same. It’s not about breastfeeding. It’s about the fact that your boobs aren’t going to double or triple in size from pre-pregnancy and after your milk goes away (whether that is after a period of breastfeeding or because you choose not to breastfeed for one reason or another) your boobs will go back to prepregnacy size - so they are going to look different than they didn’t before. Simply because of how much they grow and stretch in and after pregnancy.
Alos, please be on the lookout for PPD. I had it. Everyone knew it but me, but nobody thought to tell me. When I went for my 6 week PP checkup, my doctor gave me a questionnaire and when I failed it, I started on Zoloft. It was like night and day. I felt SO much better and actually enjoyed spending time with DD.
I will definitely ask about what happens when getting induced.
@katelynrae86 thank you!
@ramblebee I'd ask more about your doctor's policy. For example, if you are induced, can you get an epidural earlier? I got to the hospital at 4 cm and didn't get the epidural until I was 8cm and in transition, so I didn't have an IV until that point. I needed the IV for fluids before I could get the epidural. I honestly cannot remember when they added the fetal monitoring to me, but it was after I hit 8 cm (I was in the shower between 4-8cm - - it only took 45 minutes for me to progress). It may have only been after I got the epidural and was in bed, because I was moving around before that. I ended up needing the internal monitoring since they had trouble getting the HB externally.
@krashke my boobs definitely got smaller after BF, but I wouldn't say they deflated. They certainly aren't perky, but they never were (I was 36DDD prepregnancy)
And just to jump on what @BurlapandLace said: it's different for everyone, but the rest of your body probably won't really "go back to normal" either. I got back down to my pre-preg weight pretty quickly, but my body is just shaped differently now, and I carry weight in places I didn't before.
I think it's good that you're being honest with yourself about how you think the changes in your boobs/body are going to affect you, and maybe this is something you can start talking to your H about now. I will say, though...I care a lot less about what my body looks like now than I thought I would. I went through what I consider a pretty profound change in my relationship with my body, in a good way, and something similar may or may not happen for you. You might just have to wait and see.
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
I get your concerns about not feeling as sexy. It isn't the end of the world but it is a loss of how your body used to be.
MH likes to watch me get dressed in the mornings so he can see my boobs and sings "it's the most wonderful time of the day" to the tune of the Christmas song. This morning I half jokingly said "you know they wont look like this after I'm done nursing" and he said "can't you just do peck exercises?" No. That's not how this works. Then I told him to start saving for my boob job for when we're done having kids. I'm not opposed to using surgery to change my body if it is something that affects me emotionally. Maybe I will feel different some day.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
Also, no shame in the plastic surgery game. I had a 100 lb + weight loss about 13 years ago and got a tummy tuck, the girls lifted and silicone implants. I felt so much better. I'm sure I'll do it all again after babies because my body is important to me and excess skin/boob stuff is not a thing you can just "fix" at the gym.
I used to tell my ex I was a long term work in progress. I may be a mess now but I will be a hot cougar one day when I can afford plastics (wishful thinking lol).
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
ETA: oops, it doesn't show the title or any info lol. "What Your Momma Never Told You About Childbirth | Marianne Ryan | TEDxWilmingtonSalon" -- She talks about physical therapy for after birth, and she does mention organ prolapse for those curious.
@missylaneous419 I worked with a midwife both times. Opted for the hospital birth because the insurance wouldn't cover the alternative, but did both of my births without intervention - no meds, no IV's. I'm hoping for the same experience again. It was the best decision for our family and I felt my recovery was super fast. I was out of the hospital in under 24 hours both times.
-When they offer you a shower, take it - especially if you still have the bandage on from a c-section and it needs to come off. Taking that tape off dry skin hurts, especially when it's been on overnight/for hours. Water will make it hurt less coming off! Plus, you'll feel more human after a shower.
-Don't be afraid to ask for extra stuff before you leave. They have a hoard of everything there, and they can spare a package of pads, another peri spray bottle, a pack of tucks pads, or more mesh panties.
-Speak up if you're having problems BF'ing. If it hurts immensely, if you don't think the baby is latching good, if you're not sure they're getting anything -- they have lactation consultants on staff, and nurses should be trained and capable of helping you with BF'ing as well. There's going to be nothing worse than telling the staff that you're doing great BF'ing when you're really struggling. It'll create more issues when you get home, and it'll wreak havoc on your mental health.
-Don't be surprised if you vomit during/after labour. Especially if you're getting meds. Lots of hormonal changes are happening during labour.
And don't feel bad to tell people you don't want visitors for X amount of time after getting home. Or telling them they can visit for X hours, but you want help with dishes/laundry/something else. It sounds rude and demanding, but if they want to see you and baby/babies, they'll be happy to help out.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
Also, I took pictures of every family member and friend holding her the day she was born, but didn’t think to ask if anyone was taking any of me. I literally have 2 photos that a nurse took right when they placed her on my chest as she was born. That’s it. I was devastated when I figured that out.
Fetal monitoring usually depends on the hospital policies, but I'd ask him if you can get a portable monitor for the early labour when you may want to walk around in the halls. Or if you can do intermittent monitoring - meaning baby/contractions get monitored for so much time every hour or so, and then you can go back to walking around or showering or bathing.
And the epidural being available after 4 cm is right from what I know. If you get an epi too early, you'll be stalling labour and you'll end up needing pitocin to help you get going again (which would make you need more epi drugs, which would stall labour even further, and it becomes a vicious cycle). And obviously if you're getting an epi too late, it won't help with the pain, but will instead leave you numb for however long after giving birth, which doesn't help you out at all.
@fantasticmrsfox - When the doctor says "IV in case of emergency CS/etc.", then IV = Hep/Saline lock. If nothing is running continuously, it's hep/saline locked. IV just means intravenous, meaning just the catheter they're actually putting in your vein. Not necessarily that something is running. So when @ramblebee's doctor mentioned an IV, he meant a saline lock, not actual IV fluids.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
Married March 2016
DD: born 7.22.16
DS EDD: 6.23.18
(Similarly, antibiotics, heplock, etc., like what can they force you to do? Will they just ask you to leave if you refuse?)