My husband is going through the "Damien doesn't want me, he only wants you. I'm not anything to him," phase again. I'm doing my best to remind him of how Damien shows he loves him (gets super excited when he comes home, specifically wants his attention when he is on his work computer, etc.) but he doesn't see that or just chooses to ignore those moments to emphasize his current feelings. It kind of gets frustrating because if he really feels that way, then the solution is to be more present and be more active in Damien's day-to-day life. That means waiting to take care of something work-related until after Damien goes to bed (which means my husband has to wait 1.5hrs to address whatever it is). That means not checking the music blogs for new music when he gets home and Damien is playing or getting ready for dinner. That means waking up between 6/6:30am when I do to help take care of Damien before work (I have no problem doing it by myself, but if he wants to be a part of it, I have no issue with that either). It means not going out for drinks with the boys, attending concerts, and playing golf whenever the opportunities come up.
I'm not saying he can't have a life outside of the home, I'm just saying that one of the reasons Damien comes to me for comfort and such is because I'm always present. I'm the one that feeds him, changes most of his diapers, gets him dressed 90% of the time, puts him down for bed, administers his medicine, sucks out the mucus, takes him to his dr appts, drops him off/picks him up at daycare, etc. I do all these things because I want to and in some cases I'm in a position where it makes sense for me to do some of these things over my husband (daycare is next door to my office, so obviously it makes sense that I do that). I'm not listing these things to say, "I do aaaall of this and he does nothing," because that isn't true either, he does help when he can. The opportunities are there, he just chooses not to take them sometimes. I also remind him that often with little boys, there will come a time when he doesn't want to be with me, he'll want to be with Daddy (I don't know if that's wholly true but it seems to be something I've noticed based on friends/family). I'm going to take advantage of the, "I want Mommy," stage since I know it may not last.
There are often times when I'm in the middle of something and I put my husband on a task, "Can you change his diaper and put him in his PJs?" "Could you cut up some fruit for his snack?" etc. so I do try to get him involved. Sometimes it just gets frustrating because he'll be preoccupied doing his own thing and I'm trying to prep dinner for Damien and Damien's getting into something he isn't supposed to and I'm the one that has to drop everything to get to him.
Anyway, I feel bad that my husband feels this way since I don't see it in the same light. I see how Damien is with him and can see how much he loves his Daddy and wants to be with him. It just gets frustrating to me when my husband says stuff like that and there are several ways he can try to remedy that but he doesn't do that, just continues doing what he's doing.
My husband is going through the "Damien doesn't want me, he only wants you. I'm not anything to him," phase again. I'm doing my best to remind him of how Damien shows he loves him (gets super excited when he comes home, specifically wants his attention when he is on his work computer, etc.) but he doesn't see that or just chooses to ignore those moments to emphasize his current feelings. It kind of gets frustrating because if he really feels that way, then the solution is to be more present and be more active in Damien's day-to-day life. That means waiting to take care of something work-related until after Damien goes to bed (which means my husband has to wait 1.5hrs to address whatever it is). That means not checking the music blogs for new music when he gets home and Damien is playing or getting ready for dinner. That means waking up between 6/6:30am when I do to help take care of Damien before work (I have no problem doing it by myself, but if he wants to be a part of it, I have no issue with that either). It means not going out for drinks with the boys, attending concerts, and playing golf whenever the opportunities come up.
I'm not saying he can't have a life outside of the home, I'm just saying that one of the reasons Damien comes to me for comfort and such is because I'm always present. I'm the one that feeds him, changes most of his diapers, gets him dressed 90% of the time, puts him down for bed, administers his medicine, sucks out the mucus, takes him to his dr appts, drops him off/picks him up at daycare, etc. I do all these things because I want to and in some cases I'm in a position where it makes sense for me to do some of these things over my husband (daycare is next door to my office, so obviously it makes sense that I do that). I'm not listing these things to say, "I do aaaall of this and he does nothing," because that isn't true either, he does help when he can. The opportunities are there, he just chooses not to take them sometimes. I also remind him that often with little boys, there will come a time when he doesn't want to be with me, he'll want to be with Daddy (I don't know if that's wholly true but it seems to be something I've noticed based on friends/family). I'm going to take advantage of the, "I want Mommy," stage since I know it may not last.
There are often times when I'm in the middle of something and I put my husband on a task, "Can you change his diaper and put him in his PJs?" "Could you cut up some fruit for his snack?" etc. so I do try to get him involved. Sometimes it just gets frustrating because he'll be preoccupied doing his own thing and I'm trying to prep dinner for Damien and Damien's getting into something he isn't supposed to and I'm the one that has to drop everything to get to him.
Anyway, I feel bad that my husband feels this way since I don't see it in the same light. I see how Damien is with him and can see how much he loves his Daddy and wants to be with him. It just gets frustrating to me when my husband says stuff like that and there are several ways he can try to remedy that but he doesn't do that, just continues doing what he's doing.
Ugh, that's super frustrating, but I get it. DH complains about being unable to comfort Miles if he wake up at night, and I hold my tongue because everyone is frustrated with the night wake ups, but I know it's because Miles doesn't relate Dad to night time comfort because he rarely takes care of him after bedtime, it's always me. It just becomes a vicious cycle that your DH seems to have fallen in as well. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to get him more involved. I would say keep giving him tasks to help him interact, men need clear direction most of the time and a goal to make them feel like they've accomplished something.
Me: 32 DH: 31 *The old lady by 5 whole weeks* Married: 11/2013 M: 6/2016 E: 5/2018
My husband is going through the "Damien doesn't want me, he only wants you. I'm not anything to him," phase again. I'm doing my best to remind him of how Damien shows he loves him (gets super excited when he comes home, specifically wants his attention when he is on his work computer, etc.) but he doesn't see that or just chooses to ignore those moments to emphasize his current feelings. It kind of gets frustrating because if he really feels that way, then the solution is to be more present and be more active in Damien's day-to-day life. That means waiting to take care of something work-related until after Damien goes to bed (which means my husband has to wait 1.5hrs to address whatever it is). That means not checking the music blogs for new music when he gets home and Damien is playing or getting ready for dinner. That means waking up between 6/6:30am when I do to help take care of Damien before work (I have no problem doing it by myself, but if he wants to be a part of it, I have no issue with that either). It means not going out for drinks with the boys, attending concerts, and playing golf whenever the opportunities come up.
I'm not saying he can't have a life outside of the home, I'm just saying that one of the reasons Damien comes to me for comfort and such is because I'm always present. I'm the one that feeds him, changes most of his diapers, gets him dressed 90% of the time, puts him down for bed, administers his medicine, sucks out the mucus, takes him to his dr appts, drops him off/picks him up at daycare, etc. I do all these things because I want to and in some cases I'm in a position where it makes sense for me to do some of these things over my husband (daycare is next door to my office, so obviously it makes sense that I do that). I'm not listing these things to say, "I do aaaall of this and he does nothing," because that isn't true either, he does help when he can. The opportunities are there, he just chooses not to take them sometimes. I also remind him that often with little boys, there will come a time when he doesn't want to be with me, he'll want to be with Daddy (I don't know if that's wholly true but it seems to be something I've noticed based on friends/family). I'm going to take advantage of the, "I want Mommy," stage since I know it may not last.
There are often times when I'm in the middle of something and I put my husband on a task, "Can you change his diaper and put him in his PJs?" "Could you cut up some fruit for his snack?" etc. so I do try to get him involved. Sometimes it just gets frustrating because he'll be preoccupied doing his own thing and I'm trying to prep dinner for Damien and Damien's getting into something he isn't supposed to and I'm the one that has to drop everything to get to him.
Anyway, I feel bad that my husband feels this way since I don't see it in the same light. I see how Damien is with him and can see how much he loves his Daddy and wants to be with him. It just gets frustrating to me when my husband says stuff like that and there are several ways he can try to remedy that but he doesn't do that, just continues doing what he's doing.
Ugh, that's super frustrating, but I get it. DH complains about being unable to comfort Miles if he wake up at night, and I hold my tongue because everyone is frustrated with the night wake ups, but I know it's because Miles doesn't relate Dad to night time comfort because he rarely takes care of him after bedtime, it's always me. It just becomes a vicious cycle that your DH seems to have fallen in as well. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to get him more involved. I would say keep giving him tasks to help him interact, men need clear direction most of the time and a goal to make them feel like they've accomplished something.
My DH complains about similar issues too and it's because he's the fun time dad. He's pretty good at playing with Jackie but rarely does actual childcare because he travels often and works late, so sometimes it all falls on me. I've fallen into the trap of not handing his responsibilities back to him when he gets home. We recently had a really frank conversation about how I felt as a SAHM and how I feel now as a working mom and in just the last 2 days I've noticed him trying to step up more. I just need to make sure I keep him engaged after he travels for 5 days later this week.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
The marketing dept all decided to work from home today and my boss is at a conference, leaving me all by myself in our office. Guess who locked herself out of said office at the end of the day with her car keys, house keys, and keys to the office and office building all inside of it? Did I also mention my cellphone was in there too? Since it's a holiday weekend, the building was nearly a ghost town and all of building management was gone. I found somone in another office that was kind enough to let me borrow his phone. Thank goodness I have my husband's number memorized. I called him so that he could get in touch with daycare about my situation and gave me my boss' number (they used to work together so he miraculously had it). She was able to get in touch with the marketers and one of them eventually came to unlock the door. It was a not-so-great way to end a not-so-great day. LuckilyI was able to pick up Damien before daycare closed at 6pm.
The marketing dept all decided to work from home today and my boss is at a conference, leaving me all by myself in our office. Guess who locked herself out of said office at the end of the day with her car keys, house keys, and keys to the office and office building all inside of it? Did I also mention my cellphone was in there too? Since it's a holiday weekend, the building was nearly a ghost town and all of building management was gone. I found somone in another office that was kind enough to let me borrow his phone. Thank goodness I have my husband's number memorized. I called him so that he could get in touch with daycare about my situation and gave me my boss' number (they used to work together so he miraculously had it). She was able to get in touch with the marketers and one of them eventually came to unlock the door. It was a not-so-great way to end a not-so-great day. LuckilyI was able to pick up Damien before daycare closed at 6pm.
Wow! That sounds terrible. Glad that you were able to get it solved!
If my child does not want to be hugged, kissed, or picked up by you, please stop trying to do it! She is not rude if she doesn't want someone she doesn't know well touching her, and I'm not a bad mom for not forcing her to put up with unwanted physical touch that makes her uncomfortable.
gerrr. I was told by SIL how rude I was yesterday for asking MIL to stop trying to pick up my upset overtired 3 year old who just wanted me.
If my child does not want to be hugged, kissed, or picked up by you, please stop trying to do it! She is not rude if she doesn't want someone she doesn't know well touching her, and I'm not a bad mom for not forcing her to put up with unwanted physical touch that makes her uncomfortable.
gerrr. I was told by SIL how rude I was yesterday for asking MIL to stop trying to pick up my upset overtired 3 year old who just wanted me.
Ugh. That's annoying. Sorry you have to deal with that. Ethan isn't fond of family that he doesn't see often so naturally he doesn't want to go to them. I keep telling my husband to stop trying to force it. Especially when Ethan just woke up from a nap and I'm sure he's thinking "who the hell are you!?" Lol.
@AmberLiz99 Ooooh that frustrates me so much!! My FiL is notorious for insisting that Damien be given to him. He even tries to pry him from my arms when Damien is clearly wanting to stay with me (or my husband). If I politely tell him that it looks like Damien is being shy, he scoffs and continues trying to get Damien to come to him. Like dude, chill...he isn't interested, give him a few minutes and he'll probably come crawling to you on his own. I don't think you were rude at all and glad to hear you stuck to your guns and put your foot down.
My MIL does this, (Grandma shower lady), she thinks that she has to be holding him at all times when we are around her. He is clearly reaching for me and fussy and she just doesn't get it..
The past couple of arts/crafts stuff that we've received from daycare have Damien's name spelled wrong on them. They say "Darmien." DARMIEN! What kinda name is that?! These are the first bit of crafts done with the new woman in the nursery so I'm guessing she's the one that is writing his name. That said, she works with several women who all know Damien and are well aware that his name is DAMIEN (or they call him "Dami" for short). You'd think someone would have caught it at some point. We only just found out because they give us their crafts in bunches rather than one by one as they get created.
The past couple of arts/crafts stuff that we've received from daycare have Damien's name spelled wrong on them. They say "Darmien." DARMIEN! What kinda name is that?! These are the first bit of crafts done with the new woman in the nursery so I'm guessing she's the one that is writing his name. That said, she works with several women who all know Damien and are well aware that his name is DAMIEN (or they call him "Dami" for short). You'd think someone would have caught it at some point. We only just found out because they give us their crafts in bunches rather than one by one as they get created.
A friend of mine always spells my daughters name "Elyse" even though it's "Elise" and I've brought it up several times. I finally stoped saying anything and I just ignore it
Sometimes I feel like the only freakin' adult living in this house!? Ugh. It drives me nuts. My mom, my husband, our son and my elderly grandpa all live here in addition to my two dogs. My mom and grandpa (her dad) are constantly at each other's throat and just bicker all day long. I feel like the referee and I've told my mom to stop yelling at grandpa all the time because it's not healthy for Ethan. My grandpa is sick (cancer) and has recently been experiencing a lot of additional health issues so that just exasperates the communication issue between them. I don't know to many 31 year olds that have their mother and grandpa living in their house and providing for them. Sheesh I need a vacation!
Sometimes I feel like the only freakin' adult living in this house!? Ugh. It drives me nuts. My mom, my husband, our son and my elderly grandpa all live here in addition to my two dogs. My mom and grandpa (her dad) are constantly at each other's throat and just bicker all day long. I feel like the referee and I've told my mom to stop yelling at grandpa all the time because it's not healthy for Ethan. My grandpa is sick (cancer) and has recently been experiencing a lot of additional health issues so that just exasperates the communication issue between them. I don't know to many 31 year olds that have their mother and grandpa living in their house and providing for them. Sheesh I need a vacation!
That would be so hard! I can't even imagine having that many extra adults in my house, you are a saint for that, and yes, you definitely deserve a vacation! I know you live by the beach, maybe a beach day to yourself???
Why does everything have to happen on a long holiday weekend when my husband is gone?! Jackie has a cough that made her throw up on me after her morning nursing session. She also has two big bug bites I'm monitoring because one looks like a nickel sized mosquito bite. And now giant cockroaches have begun an invasion of my kitchen and I let a friend that just moved to town borrow my last can of bleach wipes. Ugh!!! Meanwhile hubby is on a 5 day vacation. He better be ready to give me a break when he gets home.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
How did I miss that you had all thatgoing on @laurendiaz02?? It sounds like you need a night away in a hotel with a spa!!!
Sometimes my life is like the dysfunctional Brady bunch. Haha. Luckily we have a short vacation planned next month. My dad, stepmom, my older brother and his 4 year old are all going to Tahoe so we're joining them for a family vacation. I'm stressing about going on a plane with Ethan but the flight is short so let's hope we survive and don't have tantrums.
Originally we weren't going to go because I didn't want to drive to Tahoe and we don't have extra money to fly. My dad was nice enough to buy my husband and I our plane tickets (Ethan will be on our lap) so we can join them. 5 days enjoying nature and spending time with family should be a nice distraction from this thing called my life
Why does everything have to happen on a long holiday weekend when my husband is gone?! Jackie has a cough that made her throw up on me after her morning nursing session. She also has two big bug bites I'm monitoring because one looks like a nickel sized mosquito bite. And now giant cockroaches have begun an invasion of my kitchen and I let a friend that just moved to town borrow my last can of bleach wipes. Ugh!!! Meanwhile hubby is on a 5 day vacation. He better be ready to give me a break when he gets home.
That's awful! That certainly is the way life works, I was thinking the same thing while my hubby was having a much needed night out and I was at home with 3 kids and an ovarian cyst that ruptured.
Why does everything have to happen on a long holiday weekend when my husband is gone?! Jackie has a cough that made her throw up on me after her morning nursing session. She also has two big bug bites I'm monitoring because one looks like a nickel sized mosquito bite. And now giant cockroaches have begun an invasion of my kitchen and I let a friend that just moved to town borrow my last can of bleach wipes. Ugh!!! Meanwhile hubby is on a 5 day vacation. He better be ready to give me a break when he gets home.
That's awful! That certainly is the way life works, I was thinking the same thing while my hubby was having a much needed night out and I was at home with 3 kids and an ovarian cyst that ruptured.
Murphy's law at its finest! I managed to find a container of wipes in my upstairs bathroom and managed to get most of my counters cleaned by naptime. I still can't shake the creepy crawly feeling though.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
Why does everything have to happen on a long holiday weekend when my husband is gone?! Jackie has a cough that made her throw up on me after her morning nursing session. She also has two big bug bites I'm monitoring because one looks like a nickel sized mosquito bite. And now giant cockroaches have begun an invasion of my kitchen and I let a friend that just moved to town borrow my last can of bleach wipes. Ugh!!! Meanwhile hubby is on a 5 day vacation. He better be ready to give me a break when he gets home.
Every time we have new folks move into the condo upstairs, they're even louder than the next set. A family of three moved in this weekend, they have a young daughter. We understand that kids are kids, bundles of energy but my goodness she is constantly on the move and just loud. As always, our concern is whether Damien will be able to nap. Bedtime won't be an issue since it seems she goes to bed at a reasonable time. It's just frustrating since there isn't much we can do, I mean she's just a kid afterall. Hopefully we can sell our place and buy a house sooner rather than later.
Edit: So they have 3 kids (2 little boys & a little girl, she looks to be the youngest). It's a 2 bedroom place so I'm sure they're cramped. You gotta do what's best for your family tho and it's a nice place with generally decent neighbors in the building. Just not looking forward to the noise. Oh well!
Every time we have new folks move into the condo upstairs, they're even louder than the next set. A family of three moved in this weekend, they have a young daughter. We understand that kids are kids, bundles of energy but my goodness she is constantly on the move and just loud. As always, our concern is whether Damien will be able to nap. Bedtime won't be an issue since it seems she goes to bed at a reasonable time. It's just frustrating since there isn't much we can do, I mean she's just a kid afterall. Hopefully we can sell our place and buy a house sooner rather than later.
Edit: So they have 3 kids (2 little boys & a little girl, she looks to be the youngest). It's a 2 bedroom place so I'm sure they're cramped. You gotta do what's best for your family tho and it's a nice place with generally decent neighbors in the building. Just not looking forward to the noise. Oh well!
Do you use a sound machine for Damien? We use one for Jackie at night because it drowns out my husband's need to watch tv at high volume, but it also helps if we have people over at night.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
Every time we have new folks move into the condo upstairs, they're even louder than the next set. A family of three moved in this weekend, they have a young daughter. We understand that kids are kids, bundles of energy but my goodness she is constantly on the move and just loud. As always, our concern is whether Damien will be able to nap. Bedtime won't be an issue since it seems she goes to bed at a reasonable time. It's just frustrating since there isn't much we can do, I mean she's just a kid afterall. Hopefully we can sell our place and buy a house sooner rather than later.
Edit: So they have 3 kids (2 little boys & a little girl, she looks to be the youngest). It's a 2 bedroom place so I'm sure they're cramped. You gotta do what's best for your family tho and it's a nice place with generally decent neighbors in the building. Just not looking forward to the noise. Oh well!
Do you use a sound machine for Damien? We use one for Jackie at night because it drowns out my husband's need to watch tv at high volume, but it also helps if we have people over at night.
Yup, we've used a white noise machine since day 1 (my husband and I use one too since I can't sleep without it).
Every time we have new folks move into the condo upstairs, they're even louder than the next set. A family of three moved in this weekend, they have a young daughter. We understand that kids are kids, bundles of energy but my goodness she is constantly on the move and just loud. As always, our concern is whether Damien will be able to nap. Bedtime won't be an issue since it seems she goes to bed at a reasonable time. It's just frustrating since there isn't much we can do, I mean she's just a kid afterall. Hopefully we can sell our place and buy a house sooner rather than later.
Edit: So they have 3 kids (2 little boys & a little girl, she looks to be the youngest). It's a 2 bedroom place so I'm sure they're cramped. You gotta do what's best for your family tho and it's a nice place with generally decent neighbors in the building. Just not looking forward to the noise. Oh well!
Do you use a sound machine for Damien? We use one for Jackie at night because it drowns out my husband's need to watch tv at high volume, but it also helps if we have people over at night.
Yup, we've used a white noise machine since day 1 (my husband and I use one too since I can't sleep without it).
Hopefully that will be enough to keep him from waking up.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
The past few days of noise haven't seem to disturb Damien too much, though it has been taking him a lot longer to fall asleep for naps. Today has been the absolute worse though. He's been trying to go down for the past hour and unable to do so because they are literally running laps in their condo, among other things. At this point he is overtired and beyond upset and since I'm trying to work during his naps, I've gotten very little done and likely going to have to write today off. It's....grand.
So we went to the beach yesterday (LO's first time!) and had a great time. DH made some sort of sangria/ wine cooler drink that he drank on the beach along with his beer. We were visiting friends and I'm not sure what my friend's husband had in his mug, but they had a good time.
Well this morning DH apparently was having chills and must have come down with a flu or something. At first I assumed he was just hungover and in denial, but I guess it's for real. I still think a day in the sun with alcohol may have had something to do with it, even if it just compromised his immune system, but I finally am able to feel a little bit sympathetic. He literally slept all day and is wearing long sleeves and pants, and it's warm out (although he has the fan on, not sure I get that).
But here's the vent. Not only does he act like he's dying, he doesn't talk to me and it's almost like I feel guilty acting normal when he is suffering so much (eye roll). Honestly the closest comparison is when someone you know is suffering from a deep loss and they just can't manage a smile, so you don't want to smile either. I'm not sure if he is trying to make me feel guilty because he thinks i should be doing more for him (whereas i think a day of rest while i take care of LO is a parent's version of taking care of someone). Or if he is just making sure i take it seriously and just don't ask anything of him, but it seems a bit dramatic and just makes me roll my eyes...
So we went to the beach yesterday (LO's first time!) and had a great time. DH made some sort of sangria/ wine cooler drink that he drank on the beach along with his beer. We were visiting friends and I'm not sure what my friend's husband had in his mug, but they had a good time.
Well this morning DH apparently was having chills and must have come down with a flu or something. At first I assumed he was just hungover and in denial, but I guess it's for real. I still think a day in the sun with alcohol may have had something to do with it, even if it just compromised his immune system, but I finally am able to feel a little bit sympathetic. He literally slept all day and is wearing long sleeves and pants, and it's warm out (although he has the fan on, not sure I get that).
But here's the vent. Not only does he act like he's dying, he doesn't talk to me and it's almost like I feel guilty acting normal when he is suffering so much (eye roll). Honestly the closest comparison is when someone you know is suffering from a deep loss and they just can't manage a smile, so you don't want to smile either. I'm not sure if he is trying to make me feel guilty because he thinks i should be doing more for him (whereas i think a day of rest while i take care of LO is a parent's version of taking care of someone). Or if he is just making sure i take it seriously and just don't ask anything of him, but it seems a bit dramatic and just makes me roll my eyes...
My husband and I love that Nyquil commercial with the sick husband being all pitiful and the dreary music playing in the background, "Pam....Pam....call my mom." That's my husband to a T (minus the "call my mom" bit). I don't know what it is with some guys, they just don't handle being ill well whatsoever. The world completely shuts down to them. I was sick as a dog and still running around taking care of Damien and the household (including cooking and cleaning) but when my husband got sick, he laid up on the couch for days.
It's comic con weekend and Damien's package arrived at my company's HQ in Vermont yesterday (the costume was only available on amazon US, not amazon Canada, and would only ship to US locations). I got notficiation that it arrived yesterday morning BUT my coworker wouldn't check the mail to get it because, "We always check it at noon." No idea why he couldn't just go outside and get it earlier since I had confirmation from USPS that the mail arrived. Anyway, so he waits until noon to get it and I gave him a FedEx shipment label so he could slap it on the box and send it off so it would arrive today. WELL, since they have a dropbox that gets picked-up at 7pm, he decided to wait to put it in the box until around that time. I told him I'd rather just schedule a pick-up so FedEx could get it earlier and go ahead and put it in transit. Nope. Told me it wasn't worth it and not to worry. So he did what he wanted to do and it was picked up by FedEx at 7pm. By the time it reached the customs facility and was cleared, it missed the truck it needed to be on that would have allowed it to be delivered today. So now it's being held at that facility until Monday. So annoyed, I knew this would happen, I wish he'd just listened to me. We booked up our Saturday (heading north to a friend's cottage) so I can't go get another costume somewhere tomorrow. Oh well, whatever.
It's comic con weekend and Damien's package arrived at my company's HQ in Vermont yesterday (the costume was only available on amazon US, not amazon Canada, and would only ship to US locations). I got notficiation that it arrived yesterday morning BUT my coworker wouldn't check the mail to get it because, "We always check it at noon." No idea why he couldn't just go outside and get it earlier since I had confirmation from USPS that the mail arrived. Anyway, so he waits until noon to get it and I gave him a FedEx shipment label so he could slap it on the box and send it off so it would arrive today. WELL, since they have a dropbox that gets picked-up at 7pm, he decided to wait to put it in the box until around that time. I told him I'd rather just schedule a pick-up so FedEx could get it earlier and go ahead and put it in transit. Nope. Told me it wasn't worth it and not to worry. So he did what he wanted to do and it was picked up by FedEx at 7pm. By the time it reached the customs facility and was cleared, it missed the truck it needed to be on that would have allowed it to be delivered today. So now it's being held at that facility until Monday. So annoyed, I knew this would happen, I wish he'd just listened to me. We booked up our Saturday (heading north to a friend's cottage) so I can't go get another costume somewhere tomorrow. Oh well, whatever.
It's comic con weekend and Damien's package arrived at my company's HQ in Vermont yesterday (the costume was only available on amazon US, not amazon Canada, and would only ship to US locations). I got notficiation that it arrived yesterday morning BUT my coworker wouldn't check the mail to get it because, "We always check it at noon." No idea why he couldn't just go outside and get it earlier since I had confirmation from USPS that the mail arrived. Anyway, so he waits until noon to get it and I gave him a FedEx shipment label so he could slap it on the box and send it off so it would arrive today. WELL, since they have a dropbox that gets picked-up at 7pm, he decided to wait to put it in the box until around that time. I told him I'd rather just schedule a pick-up so FedEx could get it earlier and go ahead and put it in transit. Nope. Told me it wasn't worth it and not to worry. So he did what he wanted to do and it was picked up by FedEx at 7pm. By the time it reached the customs facility and was cleared, it missed the truck it needed to be on that would have allowed it to be delivered today. So now it's being held at that facility until Monday. So annoyed, I knew this would happen, I wish he'd just listened to me. We booked up our Saturday (heading north to a friend's cottage) so I can't go get another costume somewhere tomorrow. Oh well, whatever.
That's so annoying! I'm sorry!
I guess I spoke to soon because FedEx sent me another notification a few minutes ago saying it was on the truck for delivery...naturally this was after I found a new costume on amazon Canada that was guaranteed to arrive tomorrow. I'm keeping the new order just in case the old one still doesn't come through. I know I shouldn't sweat trivial things like this, just hard not to sometimes.
I hate being woken up out of a blissful dead-sleep because someone randomly decides at 6:30am that they want to cuddle (I'm a super light sleeper and can't sleep during cuddles). This would have been the first morning in ages that I would have been able to sleep in too (Damien's still asleep).
I hate being woken up out of a blissful dead-sleep because someone randomly decides at 6:30am that they want to cuddle (I'm a super light sleeper and can't sleep during cuddles). This would have been the first morning in ages that I would have been able to sleep in too (Damien's still asleep).
Stuck in box: I'm sorry! I can totally commiserate, it's now 6:18 am here, I awoke to having to karate chop the cat with my foot because he was trying to barf on the bed. Thanks cat, I'm awake now...
Why is it that men do one chore and want to get praised for it!?! Omg. I left my husband a long list of crap to get done while he was off for two days. He literally got one thing done. His excuse is "well, I work hard and I want to enjoy my days off". Ok, like I don't????
So it's 9:17am and I've already vacuumed, mopped the floors, did the dishes, washed my car in the driveway, mowed the lawn, and gave Ethan a bath. That deserves an award, not doing one thing and then deciding you're done. And I have to work 12-8:30pm today.
Why is it that men do one chore and want to get praised for it!?! Omg. I left my husband a long list of crap to get done while he was off for two days. He literally got one thing done. His excuse is "well, I work hard and I want to enjoy my days off". Ok, like I don't????
So it's 9:17am and I've already vacuumed, mopped the floors, did the dishes, washed my car in the driveway, mowed the lawn, and gave Ethan a bath. That deserves an award, not doing one thing and then deciding you're done. And I have to work 12-8:30pm today.
I've been trying to sell stuff out of our basement on letgo, a Craigslist like app the last two days. The sheer amount of people who have wasted my time is mind boggling. Don't freaking message me if you aren't actually interested!!!
I've been trying to sell stuff out of our basement on letgo, a Craigslist like app the last two days. The sheer amount of people who have wasted my time is mind boggling. Don't freaking message me if you aren't actually interested!!!
Omg totally agree and have experienced the same thing! So now I always put "pick up only, cash only, no flakes". LOL.
I've been trying to sell stuff out of our basement on letgo, a Craigslist like app the last two days. The sheer amount of people who have wasted my time is mind boggling. Don't freaking message me if you aren't actually interested!!!
Omg totally agree and have experienced the same thing! So now I always put "pick up only, cash only, no flakes". LOL.
So we are putting in a new patio. It used to just be gravel so we had to dig it out. Well things are moving slow so yesterday my mom comes to watch Preston while I go outside and haul ass shoveling dirt for an hour and a half and we got so much done. I wanted to do the same today but DH said it'd be better if I stayed inside and let my brother come help. Well, he's here and they are so damn pokey!!! They keep stopping to have a conversation, just shovel while you work, it's not that hard to move your body and talk at the same time. Then I remind them of the time and they're like "oh it's already been 4 hours, I thought we'd be done by now" well maybe if you stopped gabbing like a couple of old bittys at tea then you would!
@adiaz132003 men can't multitask. DH regularly starts telling me a story, gets a text/iPhone alert and then is so sidetracked he forgets he was even talking to me. Meanwhile I'm sitting there going "....then she said...."
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
We discussed this a while back, but this article popped up on my Facebook page tonight shared by a working mom of three. It perfectly sums up the invisible burden of the house, wether you're home or at work all day
Re: Bring your venting here!
I'm not saying he can't have a life outside of the home, I'm just saying that one of the reasons Damien comes to me for comfort and such is because I'm always present. I'm the one that feeds him, changes most of his diapers, gets him dressed 90% of the time, puts him down for bed, administers his medicine, sucks out the mucus, takes him to his dr appts, drops him off/picks him up at daycare, etc. I do all these things because I want to and in some cases I'm in a position where it makes sense for me to do some of these things over my husband (daycare is next door to my office, so obviously it makes sense that I do that). I'm not listing these things to say, "I do aaaall of this and he does nothing," because that isn't true either, he does help when he can. The opportunities are there, he just chooses not to take them sometimes. I also remind him that often with little boys, there will come a time when he doesn't want to be with me, he'll want to be with Daddy (I don't know if that's wholly true but it seems to be something I've noticed based on friends/family). I'm going to take advantage of the, "I want Mommy," stage since I know it may not last.
There are often times when I'm in the middle of something and I put my husband on a task, "Can you change his diaper and put him in his PJs?" "Could you cut up some fruit for his snack?" etc. so I do try to get him involved. Sometimes it just gets frustrating because he'll be preoccupied doing his own thing and I'm trying to prep dinner for Damien and Damien's getting into something he isn't supposed to and I'm the one that has to drop everything to get to him.
Anyway, I feel bad that my husband feels this way since I don't see it in the same light. I see how Damien is with him and can see how much he loves his Daddy and wants to be with him. It just gets frustrating to me when my husband says stuff like that and there are several ways he can try to remedy that but he doesn't do that, just continues doing what he's doing.
Married: 11/2013
M: 6/2016 E: 5/2018
gerrr. I was told by SIL how rude I was yesterday for asking MIL to stop trying to pick up my upset overtired 3 year old who just wanted me.
The past couple of arts/crafts stuff that we've received from daycare have Damien's name spelled wrong on them. They say "Darmien." DARMIEN! What kinda name is that?! These are the first bit of crafts done with the new woman in the nursery so I'm guessing she's the one that is writing his name. That said, she works with several women who all know Damien and are well aware that his name is DAMIEN (or they call him "Dami" for short). You'd think someone would have caught it at some point. We only just found out because they give us their crafts in bunches rather than one by one as they get created.
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
Originally we weren't going to go because I didn't want to drive to Tahoe and we don't have extra money to fly. My dad was nice enough to buy my husband and I our plane tickets (Ethan will be on our lap) so we can join them. 5 days enjoying nature and spending time with family should be a nice distraction from this thing called my life
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
Edit: So they have 3 kids (2 little boys & a little girl, she looks to be the youngest). It's a 2 bedroom place so I'm sure they're cramped. You gotta do what's best for your family tho and it's a nice place with generally decent neighbors in the building. Just not looking forward to the noise. Oh well!
Well this morning DH apparently was having chills and must have come down with a flu or something. At first I assumed he was just hungover and in denial, but I guess it's for real. I still think a day in the sun with alcohol may have had something to do with it, even if it just compromised his immune system, but I finally am able to feel a little bit sympathetic. He literally slept all day and is wearing long sleeves and pants, and it's warm out (although he has the fan on, not sure I get that).
But here's the vent. Not only does he act like he's dying, he doesn't talk to me and it's almost like I feel guilty acting normal when he is suffering so much (eye roll). Honestly the closest comparison is when someone you know is suffering from a deep loss and they just can't manage a smile, so you don't want to smile either. I'm not sure if he is trying to make me feel guilty because he thinks i should be doing more for him (whereas i think a day of rest while i take care of LO is a parent's version of taking care of someone). Or if he is just making sure i take it seriously and just don't ask anything of him, but it seems a bit dramatic and just makes me roll my eyes...
So it's 9:17am and I've already vacuumed, mopped the floors, did the dishes, washed my car in the driveway, mowed the lawn, and gave Ethan a bath. That deserves an award, not doing one thing and then deciding you're done. And I have to work 12-8:30pm today.
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
https://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/you-shouldve-asked?cid=sm_fbn_pt
Married: 11/2013
M: 6/2016 E: 5/2018