MIL video calls for the 2nd night in a row, never mind that they live 15 minutes away and saw DS less than a week ago. First she tells me I look pretty which I know is a lie, but that's just her. Not 2 minutes later she asks me if I look tired because I haven't slept or because I'm off my meds. Ummm, I'm nearly 29 weeks pregnant and I have a sick toddler, you do the math. Also, don't tell me I look tired.
@secicc12 yes! And she does it all the time. Or if we talk on the phone she asks why I sound tired or what's wrong. She's an over nurturer and does not understand that I need space. She also laughs at everything she doesn't know how to handle. She'll call when DS is mid tantrum and just giggles when I'm trying to change him or fix a meal or whatever. She just keeps talking.
One of the sales guys that works from home just stopped in - said " Hey - getting tubbier?" Replied "ha - no just more pregnant". Then he actually says "Same thing". Come ooon. He just ruined my day after another worker telling me that he thinks "pregnant women are the most beautiful women there are" & I look great.
Me: 37 DH: 37 - Married 10.2015 ❤️ Canadian DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4, DOR, RPL
I was told by a parent at a meeting that when you're pregnant with boys, your nostril flare and that when you're pregnant with girls, you only gain weight in your belly. And then she proceeded to tell me she could see that I was pregnant with a boy. How a woman I just met knew that my nostrils were wider, I'll never know.
A man at work asked me how soon I was due because I looked like I could have that Baby "any day now". I very kindly let him know that I am weeks, months even, from my due date.
A guy at work who I have the utmost respect for said, "You know a stiff leg off a coffee table will fix that." After, of course, he pretended to fake punch my belly. I don't even understand and had no idea how to even react.
A guy at work who I have the utmost respect for said, "You know a stiff leg off a coffee table will fix that." After, of course, he pretended to fake punch my belly. I don't even understand and had no idea how to even react.
Working at a school where I only work with speech therapy kiddos, people recognize me, but I don't have any idea who they are. My favorite drive-by comments this week: -Random 4th or 5th grader yells at me "Are you pregnant?" while carrying her lunch down the hall. I said "Yes" followed by "Who are you?" -Parent volunteer (who, again, I don't know) decorating a bulletin board told me I was starting to waddle. Now I'm going to be self-conscious with how I walk
Had a "used to be" close friend text me last week exclaiming how she couldn't believe I was pregnant. And then asked "when did this happen?!" All I could say was well a while ago since I'm I my third trimester lol. The thing is, she liked our Facebook pregnancy announcement the same day we posted it at 20 weeks.
Gosh, some of the things you ladies are getting from people just blow my mind! I cannot believe people are saying some of these things! It's terrible!
The thing that is bugging me right now is when people ask me how I am feeling. I reply honestly that I am tired. Most of the time they will say something like, "Oh just you wait!" and I HATE it. Yes, I am aware that having a baby is a full-time job. Still tired. You asked. Sheesh.
@Feliciosity that one always makes me giggle - like what a pointless thing to say to someone! Funnily enough, while the long term sleep deprivation is onviously worse with a baby then pregnant (dont know why people always need to Point it out, like gee thanks i guess ill find out in a few more weeks) i actually found that i initally slept better after i had the baby!!!
@AdvoCyndi30 that person is a Jack@$$! I find it funny how people are vicious with comments to preggos so I hit them back with snarky comments. The other day someone said that I got big and the belly is growing & pointy...then proceeded to ask if I am due anytime soon bec I look so over it. I told that person that I was 28 weeks (then), I only gained 12-13 lbs, and what was her excuse bec she isn't pregnant (btw, she also looks like she was way over 250 lbs so she has no room to talk!). And this was all in front of 3 other people at the cafe table. Walked away and totally was a MIC DROP moment! Like seriously don't make stupid comments to me if you aren't ready for my comeback LOL.
So I have a new nurse today. She walks into my room, reviews my chart with me, and asked me if I intended on bringing my child home with me!?!!! I was really thrown off guard.
So I have a new nurse today. She walks into my room, reviews my chart with me, and asked me if I intended on bringing my child home with me!?!!! I was really thrown off guard.
OMG! Like, thinking you'd be the type to put the child up for adoption or something???
So I have a new nurse today. She walks into my room, reviews my chart with me, and asked me if I intended on bringing my child home with me!?!!! I was really thrown off guard.
So I have a new nurse today. She walks into my room, reviews my chart with me, and asked me if I intended on bringing my child home with me!?!!! I was really thrown off guard.
OMG! Like, thinking you'd be the type to put the child up for adoption or something???
Being that I'm adopted, I'm not sure what "type" puts a child up for adoption... but that is a very strange question from your nurse. I would have asked what she meant by that. Perhaps she read something incorrectly on your chart. Though, I have no idea what that could be.
So I have a new nurse today. She walks into my room, reviews my chart with me, and asked me if I intended on bringing my child home with me!?!!! I was really thrown off guard.
OMG! Like, thinking you'd be the type to put the child up for adoption or something???
@DeansGirl14 I think you should re-read your response & think about what you actually just said. The "type to put the child up for adoption" - you mean the mother who was raped & impregnated who was forced to make decisions like abortion vs adoption, or the teen mom who selflessly placed her child for adoption to afford them a better life than they could provide?
Reading your response really rubbed me the wrong way.
So I have a new nurse today. She walks into my room, reviews my chart with me, and asked me if I intended on bringing my child home with me!?!!! I was really thrown off guard.
OMG! Like, thinking you'd be the type to put the child up for adoption or something???
@DeansGirl14 I think you should re-read your response & think about what you actually just said. The "type to put the child up for adoption" - you mean the mother who was raped & impregnated who was forced to make decisions like abortion vs adoption, or the teen mom who selflessly placed her child for adoption to afford them a better life than they could provide?
Reading your response really rubbed me the wrong way.
Hi, Really sorry- not what I meant at all. Unless I'm mixing up my usernames, Tova's currently single, correct? The first thing that popped into my head when she reported what the nurse said was the ultrasound scene in the movie Juno. Juno and her mother said they were giving the child up for adoption and the tech said "Thank God for that," and everyone got really offended. Shouldn't medical professionals assume everyone is bringing their child home with them? I thought maybe the nurse saw she was single and thought she'd give the child up for adoption rather than "bring the child home with her." What the nurse said is completely uncalled for and asinine. I'm really sorry I didn't communicate well.
So I have a new nurse today. She walks into my room, reviews my chart with me, and asked me if I intended on bringing my child home with me!?!!! I was really thrown off guard.
OMG! Like, thinking you'd be the type to put the child up for adoption or something???
@DeansGirl14 I think you should re-read your response & think about what you actually just said. The "type to put the child up for adoption" - you mean the mother who was raped & impregnated who was forced to make decisions like abortion vs adoption, or the teen mom who selflessly placed her child for adoption to afford them a better life than they could provide?
Reading your response really rubbed me the wrong way.
Hi, Really sorry- not what I meant at all. Unless I'm mixing up my usernames, Tova's currently single, correct? The first thing that popped into my head when she reported what the nurse said was the ultrasound scene in the movie Juno. Juno and her mother said they were giving the child up for adoption and the tech said "Thank God for that," and everyone got really offended. Shouldn't medical professionals assume everyone is bringing their child home with them? I thought maybe the nurse saw she was single and thought she'd give the child up for adoption rather than "bring the child home with her." What the nurse said is completely uncalled for and asinine. I'm really sorry I didn't communicate well.
I feel like you did the exact same thing the nurse in Juno did, tbh.
Appropriate response options: "What did she mean by that?!" "Um, rude! That reminds me of the scene in Juno where the nurse is so mean and hurtful." "I can't believe she'd say that! I don't even really know what she meant by it?! How did you interpret it?"
So I have a new nurse today. She walks into my room, reviews my chart with me, and asked me if I intended on bringing my child home with me!?!!! I was really thrown off guard.
OMG! Like, thinking you'd be the type to put the child up for adoption or something???
@DeansGirl14 I think you should re-read your response & think about what you actually just said. The "type to put the child up for adoption" - you mean the mother who was raped & impregnated who was forced to make decisions like abortion vs adoption, or the teen mom who selflessly placed her child for adoption to afford them a better life than they could provide?
Reading your response really rubbed me the wrong way.
Hi, Really sorry- not what I meant at all. Unless I'm mixing up my usernames, Tova's currently single, correct? The first thing that popped into my head when she reported what the nurse said was the ultrasound scene in the movie Juno. Juno and her mother said they were giving the child up for adoption and the tech said "Thank God for that," and everyone got really offended. Shouldn't medical professionals assume everyone is bringing their child home with them? I thought maybe the nurse saw she was single and thought she'd give the child up for adoption rather than "bring the child home with her." What the nurse said is completely uncalled for and asinine. I'm really sorry I didn't communicate well.
I feel like you did the exact same thing the nurse in Juno did, tbh.
Appropriate response options: "What did she mean by that?!" "Um, rude! That reminds me of the scene in Juno where the nurse is so mean and hurtful." "I can't believe she'd say that! I don't even really know what she meant by it?! How did you interpret it?"
You guys are right, and I'm sorry. Not my intention at all.
@DeansGirl14 is right. I'm going to be a single mom. I dont think she meant to be hurtful in any way.
The same nurse asked me "if the father is in the picture" and that if I had fully looked at my options. It was insane! I responded back to this nurse by saying: yes, I will be taking my child home after I go through delivery. No, the father is not in the picture and I have been aware of that for months now. And that my child is named Landon and that the only options I am still exploring right now are what kind of baby wraps to buy (Moby or Milk Snob) and when I should start making up my frozen meals. Her face was priceless. I feel slightly bad, but she really jumped to conclusions when she say my chart/all the stuff my preregistration papers said (I might have put a huge x through the father's information section.)
@tova24, I'm sending prayers your way and hoping that everything is ok... glad baby Landon is still doing well in there.
The comments made by your nurse are totally inappropriate, and I think if I were in your shoes, I would find a supervisor or someone higher up and make them aware of the comments that she made. Whether or not it was her intention to be judgemental and condescending, that's definitely how she came across, and someone needs to be sure she's aware that it's poor bedside manner. Proud of you for how you responded to her in the heat of the moment... that showed a tremendous amount of poise and maturity. You go girl!
@kristenk727 thank you! I probably will discuss it with a higher up before I get discharged. I hope all is going well with you too! What you are going through sounds really scary. Thoughts and prayers.
+1 for informing a higher-up. Like @kristenk727 said, she may not have intended it to come across in such a distasteful, condescending way but it did. And I bet there are moms who aren't as strong as you and would crumble under those kinds of comments (*raises hand*)
It's really starting to bug me when people constantly ask if I need anything like I can't do anything myself. Also was really annoyed the other day when my aunt said I looked uncomfortable and this was when I was feeling comfortable at the moment.
@Kathryn0903 I have a love/relationship with people asking me if I need help right now. It's super annoying when I totally got it and am feeling like Wonder Woman; it's nice when I am totally lazy and don't feel like lifting something, opening a door, or getting myself a glass of water. I guess I'm just kind of playing it in my favor (I'm currently the employee who is violating the dress code everyday! I wear slippers in the office when I'm not with clients)
Anytime someone asks when I'm due, and I tell them August 12th, I'm so sick of hearing "oh you'll never make it til then." Um, first of all, I already have terrible anxiety about having a preemie, so that comment makes me go into a panic attack. Second of all, I know I'm large and look bigger than 31 weeks and no need to rub in in my face. Why can't people just say "oh how great, August babies are wonderful! "
Someone told me today "oh I can totally tell you are pregnant, you are waddling all over the place!" DH assured me I am not waddling. I really wanted to say, umm my giant 8 months pregnant belly didn't give it away that I'm pregnant??
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
Last night my FIL reminded me that everytime he sees me I've been bigger...i just told him 1inch/1lb a week so Im just going to keep growing! He was sweet about it, but um yeah, I'm still growing.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
So recently I noticed things going missing from my desk (gum, tampons, snacks, etc.). When I was talking to a coworker about it, she says "you sure you didn't just use it? You know you're pregnant and super hormonal right now. You could have forgotten!" Yes, I've totally been using my tampons right now!
I found out that both of my twins are girls, plus I have an (almost) 18 month old girl. I'm due on August 2nd, but doctor has given me steroid shots and thinks I'll deliver within the next couple weeks. Anyways, I keep having people make comments about my "poor" husband for having all girls. Seriously? He PREFERRED all girls. (He said he knows he's doing something right with our daughter, and has no younger siblings or anything to experience how to handle boys). Either way... what is it their business!? My daughter already loves Daddy's motorcycle and works on his truck with him. He doesn't need a little boy. He was blessed by becoming a dad at all!
Re: Shit people say to pregnant women
DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4, DOR, RPL
03.2016 - Natural BFP - MC 5w4d
04.2016 - Natural BFP - Chemical
10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.2017 - It's a BOY!
TTC #2 06.2019
08.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = Chemical
09.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFN
10.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #3 = BFN
01.2020 - IUI w/ Injections #4 = BFN
08.2020 - Natural BFP - MC 9w5d
11.2020 - IVF Retrieval - 3AB & 4BB
05.2021 - FET #1 = BFP, EDD 02.2022 - It's a BOY!
He then proceeded to say, "Have you seen that show? I don't remember the name. But the guy on it says, 'Are you pregnant or are you just fat?!'"
He said it all while laughing. Also he is around 350-400 pounds.
-Random 4th or 5th grader yells at me "Are you pregnant?" while carrying her lunch down the hall. I said "Yes" followed by "Who are you?"
-Parent volunteer (who, again, I don't know) decorating a bulletin board told me I was starting to waddle. Now I'm going to be self-conscious with how I walk
The thing that is bugging me right now is when people ask me how I am feeling. I reply honestly that I am tired. Most of the time they will say something like, "Oh just you wait!" and I HATE it. Yes, I am aware that having a baby is a full-time job. Still tired. You asked. Sheesh.
Reading your response really rubbed me the wrong way.
What the actual eff do you mean by that?
Really sorry- not what I meant at all. Unless I'm mixing up my usernames, Tova's currently single, correct? The first thing that popped into my head when she reported what the nurse said was the ultrasound scene in the movie Juno. Juno and her mother said they were giving the child up for adoption and the tech said "Thank God for that," and everyone got really offended. Shouldn't medical professionals assume everyone is bringing their child home with them? I thought maybe the nurse saw she was single and thought she'd give the child up for adoption rather than "bring the child home with her." What the nurse said is completely uncalled for and asinine. I'm really sorry I didn't communicate well.
Appropriate response options:
"What did she mean by that?!"
"Um, rude! That reminds me of the scene in Juno where the nurse is so mean and hurtful."
"I can't believe she'd say that! I don't even really know what she meant by it?! How did you interpret it?"
The same nurse asked me "if the father is in the picture" and that if I had fully looked at my options. It was insane! I responded back to this nurse by saying: yes, I will be taking my child home after I go through delivery. No, the father is not in the picture and I have been aware of that for months now. And that my child is named Landon and that the only options I am still exploring right now are what kind of baby wraps to buy (Moby or Milk Snob) and when I should start making up my frozen meals. Her face was priceless. I feel slightly bad, but she really jumped to conclusions when she say my chart/all the stuff my preregistration papers said (I might have put a huge x through the father's information section.)
I'm sending prayers your way and hoping that everything is ok... glad baby Landon is still doing well in there.
The comments made by your nurse are totally inappropriate, and I think if I were in your shoes, I would find a supervisor or someone higher up and make them aware of the comments that she made. Whether or not it was her intention to be judgemental and condescending, that's definitely how she came across, and someone needs to be sure she's aware that it's poor bedside manner. Proud of you for how you responded to her in the heat of the moment... that showed a tremendous amount of poise and maturity. You go girl!
+1 for informing a higher-up. Like @kristenk727 said, she may not have intended it to come across in such a distasteful, condescending way but it did. And I bet there are moms who aren't as strong as you and would crumble under those kinds of comments (*raises hand*)
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!