@emilyrose807 Yes! And I hate people talking about me within earshot in public, like I'm not there. I hear the words "baby bump blah blah blah" and it's clearly about me. Most people are just interested, but when is it ok to talk about another stranger's body?
I've found it hasn't bothered me nearly as much as with my first. But once you get to a certain point in your pregnancy everyone asks you every single day "how are you feeling?" This has started for me already. And I know they mean well but a lot of time it's prefaced by "you look tired" so I know they are thinking how hellacious I look that day.
I guess the reason it bothers me so much is cause it's the same people over and over and over. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I'm uncomfortable already. Yes, I know I look like crap most of the time.
@felix08 1000x yes! I have gotten so irritated at people's desire for my misery. At least that is what it seems like it is. They all ask "how are you feeling?" To which I reply, "I honestly feel great". Then look at me with a smirk and go, "Hmm. Just wait. You're going to be (insert awful thing here". It is like people WANT you to be miserable. Why can't their reply be, "That's great, so glad you're feeling good"?
@WineAndDogs OMG totally! Do people want to commiserate, or what is it? Then there's my boss, who does the opposite: if I complain about something she goes, "I never hated being pregnant. Nope, never felt uncomfortable or couldn't wait for it to end." This is MY thing! It's MY time! Let me have this!
@WineAndDogs@dinofreak Yes--it is the oddest thing! It definitely seems as though people are disappointed when I say I'm feeling fine...I would never ask someone how they are feeling in the hopes that they say they are miserable! And it's just...don't people realize that every person experiences pregnancy differently so even if I "just wait," I still might not have whatever terrible symptom they want me to have.
@WineAndDogs@dinofreak@felix08 - same - I really do feel great considering I'm growing a person AND I can't wait for the warm weather at this point! I feel like the friends who always say "you have to have kids, you don't know what you are missing" or "you can't have just one child" are the same ones who now make having kids sound like the most miserable time of your life. I get a lot of "oh wait until you have the second - you'll have no life/no sleep/no money" - hold on, I'm still cooking the first one lol I just don't understand haha.
Me: 37 DH: 37 - Married 10.2015 ❤️ Canadian DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4, DOR, RPL
I hate the question "how are you feeling". I get it a lot when I go to church, but I think its just the only thing people think they can ask. Ive realized that most people dont know what else to say to me. On Easter Sunday, people were asking me how I was, and I was in the middle of an awful hot flash, so I just responded with HOT. Most just didnt know what to say, so they just laughed.
I can say I would rather have the how you feeling question over the comments from my MIL on how large I am. She is super fixated on the fact that I have a large bump. I think she forgets that Im super short, and there is no where for this little guy to go. Yes I have a big bump, but its not something you need to tell me every time I see you. I am fully aware that its large, becuase I cant tie my shoes very well anymore.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@JWatt5 You're absolutely right--it's the same exact people. The kind of person who just has to have some sort of knowledge that you don't.
@littlebug2010 I hate it, too--I didn't realize that was the go to question for pregnant women until I became one. And I get that it's a natural question to ask if you're not sure what else to say, but it really can lead to an awkward conversation or non-conversation, ha.
@felix08 I have found that its easier to make it awkward. I wont go into the gross stuff like discharge but if Im feeling hot, Ill tell them. If my damn sciatic pain comes back, I will tell them how much my butt hurts. It makes them second guess asking me next time. It also sometimes brings on a better conversation than if I just said fine.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
I have started to answer the "when are you due?" with, "in August with twins," because I was so tired of the wide eyed looks I'd get or the YOU'RE HUGE comments when I just said August. I hate people.
This is kinda cute, but I have a tank that says due in August. I wore it last Saturday and this older guy asked me if it helped me have less people bother me. I laughed and said, yeah, I just need to write it's a boy on there and I'll be all set. Which made me feel better after the lady cutting fabric acted like I was huge.
@SouthernMama15 someone asked me yesterday when I was due, I just looked at them and asked them what they meant...the look on their face was amazing! I gave them a minute and then laughed and said August. Sometimes you just need to screw with people!
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@smallbutmighty77 I will live vicariously through you! DH's coworkers are all single and software engineers - kind of oblivious to relationship things. DH is a project manager (totally doesn't understand engineers) and wanted me to do this to them when we got together for someone's going away a few weeks ago. I knew it was a toss up between getting an obnoxious comment about having sex or no one noticing so I told him I didn't think it was going to work. It took 2 hours for it to even come up that I wasn't drinking because they just didn't notice the bump or me drinking my martinelli's sparkling cider so we never got the chance.
@felix08 1000x yes! I have gotten so irritated at people's desire for my misery. At least that is what it seems like it is. They all ask "how are you feeling?" To which I reply, "I honestly feel great". Then look at me with a smirk and go, "Hmm. Just wait. You're going to be (insert awful thing here". It is like people WANT you to be miserable. Why can't their reply be, "That's great, so glad you're feeling good"?
I get so aggravated with the "how are you feeling" comments. I am fine... How are you!?
I've only been at work for an hour and I've already had three people tell me I look "like I'm not feeling well" Same exact 3 people that constantly tell me that. Shut the **** up already. I need to come up with a different response. I actually did my hair and makeup today and I feel fine so I'm obviously ragey about the comments. Grrrrrr.
The bathroom at work seems to be a haven for people (that I don't know, large company) to comment on my pregnancy. Yesterday I got "oh my goodness the baby dropped! Should be anytime now huh?" To which I just looked her in the eye and laughed until she asked what was so funny and I said I have 3 1/2 months and I sure hope the baby hasn't 'dropped'. Last week in the same bathroom I got asked twice if it's twins followed by "are you sure?" When I said no! Seriously people! You don't need to talk to me at all let alone comment on my size or speculate about when I'm due!
At my OB appt today the receptionist asked me "do you know if this one is a boy or girl?" I cheerfully replied, "this will be girl #2!" And he said "oh I'm so sorry!"
Not in the spirit of this thread, but yesterday, for the first time ever, even though this is my second pregnancy, someone told me I am glowing!
Yay for compliments!! We're from Chicago but took a recent weekend getaway to Savannah, GA. I'm guessing it's a Southern thing to be much more.... "open" with strangers? By the time we'd checked into the hotel three different strangers had congratulated me on the pregnancy. No one has said jack to me here (thank God) besides family/friends/coworkers.
@DeansGirl14 Ive been wondering if that will happen to me next week. We are going to Kansas for my sisters college graduation. when we have been there before, the people have been so much nicer than here, so I am wondering how many people will say something to me.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
Someone in a different office in my building this am asked me what I did to get the stork to visit me. Um, I had sex?! Is that what you are asking, because-what?! I've seen this woman in passing, but never even said hi.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
I am almost 7 months pregnant and I am still puking. My coworker, who has an 11 year old daughter, keeps telling me I should be done with morning sickness and be all glowy by now. I hate that she keeps telling me this. Every pregnancy is different, especially when you do not have a Thyroid and take medications for it.
This lovely one came from none other than my very own husband. After complaining to him that I feel like my stomach is so heavy... Husband: "But the app says that the baby is only 2 pounds, how can that make that much of a difference?" Me: "Yeah, the baby is only 2 pounds, but I've gained 20." Husband: "But not all that you've gained is in your stomach." Me: *death glare* "Then where have I gained?" Husband: *instantly realizes his mistake and babbles on about how good I look*
Haha luckily for him, I took no offense by the comment - must have been a good hormone day. But I did warn him to watch what he says because it won't always be a good hormone day.
@mrsw2017 :::TMI warning::: DH got to see the gallons of amniotic fluid escaping from me during birth (even got some on his new shoes) and the heavy bleeding that occurred for 4 weeks following the birth. This time around he no longer makes the "but the baby is only 2lbs" comments. Funny the things that end up curing misunderstandings
@middy411 that is so funny! I would love for that to happen to him so that he fully understands! We were discussing our conversation with my mother and she told him "you know that there is like a gallon or two of amniotic fluid?" He said, "a gallon?! That's like 8 pounds! Damn no wonder you complain!"
Yesterday my sister asked me why I was so emotional, and if it was just because I'm pregnant and hormonal? First of all, I hate showing any emotion, so whether I'm pregnant or not, I never want to be accused of being emotional, and second isn't that like rule number one or something of what not to say to pregnant women??? lol Maybe, you look fat is rule 1, but it's up there
someone came up to my desk today (while waiting to talk to my mgr) and said - you lost all that weight from your first baby to get pregnant again! I should've smacked that person for that ignorant comment.
Two weeks ago someone said that to me in the cafe as I sat there to snack on my strawberries. Then she asked me my nationality. I said Filipina-American (Philippines) and that I was born in Texas because my Dad was in the Navy and retired in Florida after his last station. She then said "oh you aren't filipino." WTF? First you tell me I lost weight just to get pregnant and then tell me what I'm not. IGNORANT or some say IGNANT A$$ COMMENTS!
these people getting on my last nerves here at work!
today while in AZ on our babymoon, a woman running a small store asked me when I was due, I said beg of Aug. Her response? 'Really, you look ready to pop!' yes really, I know when my baby is due and I am measuring exactly where I should be!! She then told me about the woman who was in just before me who is due late Aug. and was barely showing. UGH.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
1. I have never been pregnant and never want to be pregnant. Have you seen the way to world is? Scary! Who wants to bring a kid into a world like this? To which I replied "I'm excited!"
2. I wear my engagement ring and wedding band on a necklace and was asked "So are you fingers really that swollen to where you need to wear those rings around your neck?!" Why does it matter?! I feel like people expect me to explain my decisions to them.
I'm feeling like I may be sensitive to these comments and people are can be curious but when I hear a judgemental tone I just can't.
Re: Shit people say to pregnant women
This has started for me already. And I know they mean well but a lot of time it's prefaced by "you look tired" so I know they are thinking how hellacious I look that day.
I guess the reason it bothers me so much is cause it's the same people over and over and over. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I'm uncomfortable already. Yes, I know I look like crap most of the time.
OMG totally! Do people want to commiserate, or what is it? Then there's my boss, who does the opposite: if I complain about something she goes, "I never hated being pregnant. Nope, never felt uncomfortable or couldn't wait for it to end." This is MY thing! It's MY time! Let me have this!
DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4, DOR, RPL
03.2016 - Natural BFP - MC 5w4d
04.2016 - Natural BFP - Chemical
10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.2017 - It's a BOY!
TTC #2 06.2019
08.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = Chemical
09.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFN
10.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #3 = BFN
01.2020 - IUI w/ Injections #4 = BFN
08.2020 - Natural BFP - MC 9w5d
11.2020 - IVF Retrieval - 3AB & 4BB
05.2021 - FET #1 = BFP, EDD 02.2022 - It's a BOY!
I can say I would rather have the how you feeling question over the comments from my MIL on how large I am. She is super fixated on the fact that I have a large bump. I think she forgets that Im super short, and there is no where for this little guy to go. Yes I have a big bump, but its not something you need to tell me every time I see you. I am fully aware that its large, becuase I cant tie my shoes very well anymore.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
@littlebug2010 I hate it, too--I didn't realize that was the go to question for pregnant women until I became one. And I get that it's a natural question to ask if you're not sure what else to say, but it really can lead to an awkward conversation or non-conversation, ha.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Eta: it says due in August, June was my other kid
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
Same exact 3 people that constantly tell me that. Shut the **** up already. I need to come up with a different response.
I actually did my hair and makeup today and I feel fine so I'm obviously ragey about the comments. Grrrrrr.
I cheerfully replied, "this will be girl #2!"
And he said "oh I'm so sorry!"
Um....what.the.f?!?!?
We're from Chicago but took a recent weekend getaway to Savannah, GA. I'm guessing it's a Southern thing to be much more.... "open" with strangers? By the time we'd checked into the hotel three different strangers had congratulated me on the pregnancy. No one has said jack to me here (thank God) besides family/friends/coworkers.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
"I really want to run up and rub your cute bump, but I won't."
+200 for self control lady.
Husband: "But the app says that the baby is only 2 pounds, how can that make that much of a difference?"
Me: "Yeah, the baby is only 2 pounds, but I've gained 20."
Husband: "But not all that you've gained is in your stomach."
Me: *death glare* "Then where have I gained?"
Husband: *instantly realizes his mistake and babbles on about how good I look*
Haha luckily for him, I took no offense by the comment - must have been a good hormone day. But I did warn him to watch what he says because it won't always be a good hormone day.
Two weeks ago someone said that to me in the cafe as I sat there to snack on my strawberries. Then she asked me my nationality. I said Filipina-American (Philippines) and that I was born in Texas because my Dad was in the Navy and retired in Florida after his last station. She then said "oh you aren't filipino." WTF? First you tell me I lost weight just to get pregnant and then tell me what I'm not. IGNORANT or some say IGNANT A$$ COMMENTS!
these people getting on my last nerves here at work!
Today and numerous times this week "OMG...youre really starting to pop!/get big!/show that baby!!!
Yes, that tends to happen when you're pregnant.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
1. I have never been pregnant and never want to be pregnant. Have you seen the way to world is? Scary! Who wants to bring a kid into a world like this? To which I replied "I'm excited!"
2. I wear my engagement ring and wedding band on a necklace and was asked "So are you fingers really that swollen to where you need to wear those rings around your neck?!" Why does it matter?! I feel like people expect me to explain my decisions to them.
I'm feeling like I may be sensitive to these comments and people are can be curious but when I hear a judgemental tone I just can't.