August 2017 Moms

Shit people say to pregnant women

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Re: Shit people say to pregnant women

  • We haven't told many people that we are having a boy yet. I'll casually tell people as we see them, but I wonder if I'll get those comments. 

    I got my very first, "you must be due soon" today. I'm really short, so I'm showing quite a bit, and when I told this co-worker that I was only 21 weeks, she was shocked! I would have appreciated a "wow you look great" or something, but she must have been so embarrassed that she just walked out of the bathroom. 
    **TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned**
    Married: 7/21/12
    BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16
    BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
    BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
    BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
    BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
    Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
    IVF started Feb 2020
    retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
    Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
    Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy! 
  • +1 to the comments about having a boy. We have a 2 year old DD. BIL made comments when we first announced, about how he bets DH is hoping for a boy. Then went on to talk about how he "willed" his second child into being a boy (1st is a girl).  How much he wanted a boy, planned to keep trying till they had one. I flat out said, nope DH wants another girl. Which at the time he did, but in the end we both didn't care one way or another. BIL brought it up again the next time we saw him. BIL is DHs sisters husband.  

    Completely annoying, DH  has a wonderful relationship with DD. He doesn't need a son to feel whole. My niece was right there, she's 17, hopefully she didn't feel bad about how clearly her dad prefered a boy. We are in fact having a boy and were pretty sure we were but had no preference either way. 
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  • kvh22kvh22 member
    To all of the boy comments...We are team green but one of my male friends commented that DH is probably hoping it's a boy just because he will feel less out of his depth. This was in the middle of a conversation about how DH is excited but nervous since he's never changed a diaper or anything like that and had made a comment about being excited for when the baby develops a personality so I really think that he's worried about bonding/his role at the beginning. I wouldn't give everyone this benefit of the doubt in all of the PPs examples, but it was an interesting perspective from a male who has never had kids and isn't even in a serious relationship. Granted, he knows my husband and I think this is probably true considering his nerves about being a "good dad" (DH hasn't expressed a preference for the sex to me when I ask).

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  • My DH wants a girl so so badly, I almost feel guilty that I can't guarantee her for him. People assume all the time, though, that he's hoping for a boy. I just want healthy!
  • When I told my coworker we're having a boy and girl, someone else chimed in oh like George Clooney!   Coworker A said 'ugh everyone has the same doctors' and rolled her eyes.  Sorry not sorry, but we've been TTC for 7 YEARS and just happened to get lucky to have one of each.
    Me:34 DH:39
    Me: A-Okay!
    DH: 0-1% morphology
    Married: 5/2008  <3
    TTC: 5/2009 
    **TW--BFP**
    2013: IUI x1 Failed
    10/2016: First IVF Cycle! YAY!
    10/31 - Fresh Transfer.
    11/10- BFN.  Starting cycle for FETx2
    12/16 - U/S - Twins! 

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Before finding out the sex a coworker said she thought I was having a girl because you tend to fill out wider than when carrying a boy. Thanks. It's a girl, BTW.
    BabyFruit Ticker

    #1 - DD: 7/5/12
    #2 - DS: 5/21/14
    #3 - EDD: 8/25/17


  • All of these pro-boy comments make me feel happier to be Team Green. Meanwhile my SO would be perfectly comfortable in that conversation with @kvh22 - he's been similarly unsure about what he'll do before the kid can learn things from him (at age 4 or 5, he thinks), and is slightly pro-boy because of the kinds of things he wants to teach. I'm like, well, girls tie knots and sail and build things and read stories and code computers too - I do. Plus kids have a personality before they communicate in full sentences. He'll be fine, no matter what, he just doesn't know it yet :)
  • I had 1 guy at work ask me if it was planned.  Sometimes I think people speak without thinking.  That's the first time I ever remember being asked that question.

    We're Team Green again and have 2 boys.  I constantly get comments about people hoping I have a girl.  It's so annoying.  Of course, I'd love to have a girl, but another boy would be great too.  We wanted a third child no matter what and I have no control over the sex.  I'm assuming it will probably be another boy and I'm already feeling very defensive about it.  If we do have a third boy, the comments will only get worse I'm sure once the baby is born.  As long as the baby is healthy, we'll be thrilled with either sex.
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  • We have a girl and a boy which you would think would extinguish any comments on gender but my daughter will be a little over 5 and my son 3 so I've gotten the "oh they probably won't be friends until they are older because of the age gap". No, it's what you make of it with siblings. My daughter is excited as he$$ and keeps begging me to take her shopping to buy the baby clothes. Both my sisters are much older than me and we are very close, I think it's more personalities than "age gap". 
  • @KyCade3013 That's nuts people have said that about the age gap. How close siblings are depends on their personalities! My sister is five years older and we are best friends. My sisters in law are twins and I would barely call them friends. 

    Together: January 2002
    Married: May 2008
    Baby: August 2017

    Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...

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  • @Mango517 - DH's family is like that. I made my MIL's jaw drop for a second when I said that the baby was taking my last name (that's actually not happening, the baby will have DH's last name) lol. She doesn't like that I didn't change mine. I just like my name the way it is.

    +1 again for the weather comments (& I'm in Canada) - I'm happy it's the summer/end of summer. I'm hoping that helps with postpartum depression not having to be cooped up in the house because of the cold & it being easier to get out. 
    Me: 37 DH: 37 - Married 10.2015 ❤️ Canadian 
    DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4, DOR, RPL
    TTC #1 07.2015
    03.2016 - Natural BFP - MC 5w4d
    04.2016 - Natural BFP - Chemical
    10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
    11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.2017 - It's a BOY!
    TTC #2 06.2019
    08.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = Chemical
    09.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFN
    10.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #3 = BFN
    01.2020 - IUI w/ Injections #4 = BFN
    08.2020 - Natural BFP - MC 9w5d
    11.2020 - IVF Retrieval - 3AB & 4BB
    05.2021 - FET #1 = BFP, EDD 02.2022 - It's a BOY!

           
  • I am fairly lucky with the gender stuff. Though I get asked ALL the time, and then asked if 'it's what I wanted'. I wanted a baby, so, YES.
    I cared more than my DH-but not much. While I am super excited for a girl, DH is the last boy in his family, so if the name is going to carry-we need to have a boy. His family hasn't cared much-1st grandkid and all, but it has been joked about once or twice. So, a boy would have put that to rest.
    Plus, my mother was very vocal about how much she always wanted a son and got 2girls, so a grandson would have put her over the moon.
    But everyone is just excited for a new baby and my DH is already talking about the legos they will build and the games etc. He isn't really a sports guy, so I think he might have been relieved it was a girl. 
    TW: 
    1 infant loss
    8/17: Our daughter was born
    8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
    2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 
    4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
  • @lyndshurt i keep getting that too! I live in Dallas. 
  • hpotaito said:
    A guy co-worker said to me as I was running to my car to get out of the rain that I shouldn't be running in my condition. Sigh. Also as I'm trying to keep fit, I've been getting lots of comments from people (mainly family might I add!) about how I shouldn't be doing this or that. Finding it extremely frustrating especially as I enjoy keeping fit and having to explain myself to people. It's my body (and I know my own limits of what I can and can't do) and I'm not doing anything without doctor or trainers advice. Find it sad that exercise isn't encouraged and is frowned upon by so many people. Surely fit mum equals healthy baby :) 
    I also get frustrated when people try to tell me what I should or "shouldn't" be doing. My FIL says that I'm in a "delicate condition", and I hate that. Actually, I'm not. I feel fine. It's been a healthy pregnancy so far so no need for you give me limitations, I'll tell you if I feel uncomfortable doing something.

    I think someone else also said something about driving, why do people think that just because your pregnant you shouldn't be driving? I've also gotten that before.
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  • kvh22kvh22 member
    @KyCade3013 They might not be best friends when they're younger but they'll still likely be super close. My brother is 2 1/2 years older and my sister is 6 years younger. Our relationships were always different - my brother and I were really close when we were younger and played together all the time, I ended up marrying one of his good friends from high school. But I was so over the moon to have a little sister and always looked out for her and would play with her and let her tag along with me and my friends. Yes, we weren't best friends because a 10 year old and a 4 year old can't be, but we were always super close and she was the maid of honor at my wedding. We live across the country now and she visits for a week at least once a year and we talk on the phone all the time. With an age gap that small, it's so much more about personalities than it is about the actual age gap. I know sisters who are one or two years apart and aren't that close. DH's brother is 14 years older and they are insanely close, talk on the phone once every other week, and he was DH's best man. DH idolized his brother growing up (luckily he is a great guy). Anyways, people are silly.

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  • @DeansGirl14 DH and I were the same way.  I preferred a girl, and he preferred a boy.  At first he was slightly disappointed when it was a girl, but he's just changed his mindset of how he sees himself with the baby.  Now he talks about sitting on the porch with a gun when she has boys come over lol. Also every store we are in now, he makes us go look at baby clothes.  It's so cute! He can say what he wants, he's going to be wrapped around her finger as soon as she's born!
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  • When telling people it's a boy:
    "I bet your husband is happy it's a boy."
    "Boys are easy. That's good since it's your first."

    At a mixer at work, where they are serving wine and cocktails:
    "We saved the rest of the wine for you! Haha!"
    (I have ginger ale in my glass) "That better be virgin!"

    (*TRIGGER WARNING*)
    [spoiler]Or just today, had vendor and two coworkers in my lobby (right in front of my desk) having small-talk about a case involving a guy shooting his pregnant girlfriend in the stomach because he didn't want to pay for her abortion. As soon as they say it, they all look at me with "oops" expressions. At least they realize they should not have said it near me.[/spoiler]
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  • @DeansGirl14 DH and I were the same way.  I preferred a girl, and he preferred a boy.  At first he was slightly disappointed when it was a girl, but he's just changed his mindset of how he sees himself with the baby.  Now he talks about sitting on the porch with a gun when she has boys come over lol. Also every store we are in now, he makes us go look at baby clothes.  It's so cute! He can say what he wants, he's going to be wrapped around her finger as soon as she's born!
    that sounds like my DH lol when we moved into our new house he framed an "application to date my daughter" and hung it beside her bedroom door 
  • I'm getting pretty tired of the older ladies at work telling me I can get rid of my normal clothes now because I won't be fitting back in to them. Always saying "good luck getting your body back". 
    Me: 37 DH: 37 - Married 10.2015 ❤️ Canadian 
    DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4, DOR, RPL
    TTC #1 07.2015
    03.2016 - Natural BFP - MC 5w4d
    04.2016 - Natural BFP - Chemical
    10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
    11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.2017 - It's a BOY!
    TTC #2 06.2019
    08.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = Chemical
    09.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFN
    10.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #3 = BFN
    01.2020 - IUI w/ Injections #4 = BFN
    08.2020 - Natural BFP - MC 9w5d
    11.2020 - IVF Retrieval - 3AB & 4BB
    05.2021 - FET #1 = BFP, EDD 02.2022 - It's a BOY!

           
  • On the lighter side, when I was pregnant last time around, I was at the store with my son and some lady blurted out loudly, "that woman there done swallowed a watermelon seed." Weird and awkward. This time everyone has been very encouraging, but I was working and going up to see a labor patient. Apparently one of the nurses told my patient I was pregnant. She brought it up and said something then turned to HER dad and told him I was having our 7th baby. Her dad said, "haven't figured out how that happens yet, huh?" I just chuckled it off and said something like, "we are starting to." It kind of threw me off since he was a complete stranger. Um yes, I know how it happens, hello? I am a midwife, but to be fair, this was a surprise baby as we meant to be done. Lol. 
  • kodariahkodariah member
    edited April 2017
    My favorite so far has been from one of my friends who doesn't and won't ever have kids. When I told her I was pregnant she said well is Keat (DS who wasn't even one at the time) going to be off the boob in time, he will be pissed if he has to share his milk... Ummm??? Thanks??? 
    Then my mom and grandma had a great conversation two feet away from me at about 16 weeks. 
    Grandma: Is dakota really showing already?
    Mom: I don't know, she got fat with Keat and never lost that baby weight so that probably doesn't help.
    Yeah guys, don't worry I'm not standing right here or anything. 
  • So my co-worker's--who has been out of office for a month "helping her sick aunt" AKA donating her eggs and "working from another regional office across the country"-first sentence to me was "YOU'RE HUGE! LIKE ENORMOUS AND YOU'RE ONLY HALFWAY THERE." 
  • My mom loves to tell me she thinks I'm having twins because I'm so big already...no mom I just never lost all the baby weight from my firstborn so thanks...

    Also, my 12 year old stepson told me today that I'm beautiful all the time but the baby is making me look a little fat... he's got a lot to learn... haha

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  • I'm having twins and I have a lot of people that make comments about the close age-range of my children. My daughter will be 18 months old when they're born. Why does that matter, though? If it was a single pregnancy, nobody would say that. I'm not stressing. I'm an amazing mother. They also ask me how long I'm planning on working. I've answered the question so many times that it's getting super annoying.
  • @mharper0614 my sister and I are 18 mos apart and I loved always having someone to play with and I'm sure my mom appreciated that we kept each other occupied. We are best friends and I'm so glad we are only 18 mos apart!
  • @mharper0614 People say that even with singletons. My two will be 17 months apart and we get all kinds of comments. Some innapropriately geared towards DH being a "busy" man. ::eye roll::
  • @mharper0614 yep, I agree with @middy411 mines will only be 15 months apart and very happy about it!  :) 
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  • The gender comments are always weird. For our first, I wanted a boy and DH wanted a girl. When we found out it was a boy, everyone assumed I would be disappointed and he would be happy. Nope. 

    For our second, we both wanted a girl, and that's what we had. 

    For this one we both wanted a boy...and everyone assumed it was so MH could have "more guys than girls in the house"...nope again. He is CERTAIN he can never love another little girl the way he loves our daughter. He thinks she hung the moon and truly doesn't thinknhe could ever feel the same way about another little girl. Their relationship is so special!
  • I'm dreading body comments, a few people in my office are already bugging a girl who is a few weeks ahead of me. Any advice or good comebacks? Lol 
  • At Steak 'n Shake over the weekend, some random old man noticed that we had 3 kids & that I'm pregnant. He nodded at my belly & the kids and said, "You think you guys got enough of those"? WTAF? The size of my family is none of your business. Like people of his generation didn't pop out 8 kids or something. *eyeroll* 
  • Yesterday I was walking out of church with DH and BIL, and my MIL was walking behind me.  She YELLS across the parking lot "You have started to waddle!".  I was mortified! No MIL I have not started to waddle, my butt jiggles some when I walk no matter what, and I didnt have jeans/tights on to hold it in.  Im only 22 weeks, I am not waddleing.  DH and BIL both reassured me that I was not as well.  This is coming from the same women who told me that I was carrying all round, and getting really round! She also loves to tell me how with DH she gained 60+ pounds but had lost it all by 2 weeks PP!  I love my MIL but seriously, who says that! 
    **TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned**
    Married: 7/21/12
    BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16
    BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
    BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
    BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
    BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
    Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
    IVF started Feb 2020
    retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
    Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
    Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy! 
  • @littlebug2010 Is it physically possible to lose 60 lbs in 2 weeks? I get lots of weight is fluid, actual baby, etc.. but I have to think she made that up to brag lol! 

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  • @secicc12 Who knows!  She is extremely thin, and doesn't gain an ounce no matter what crap she eats.  I wouldnt be surprised if everything she gained melted right off of her, but 60 is a huge number.  Either way, she was thin again not long after DH was born.  
    **TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned**
    Married: 7/21/12
    BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16
    BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
    BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
    BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
    BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
    Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
    IVF started Feb 2020
    retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
    Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
    Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy! 
  • @Nxy you're my hero! 
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