Go @Nxy! I always think of good comebacks a few hours later but never get a chance (or have the nerve) to actually say it to people's faces. You go girl.
I had so many things I wanted to say to people when I was pregnant with DD but didn't because it was mostly at work. Now I just let it fly. The trick is to switch to the super happy pregnant person face and say with a smile "Ooh, so how far along are you?!" tilt your head a little to the side to sell it. Years of customer service work pretty much only taught me how to be rude to people without them realizing I know that I'm being rude. It's kind of a gift.
@Nxy retail/customer service experience has definitely helped me pull off the 'so polite they don't realize I'm being mean' love it!!
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@Nxy that has become my response!!!! I just had another teacher at school ask me if I was carrying twins?! FOR REAL?! No, I'm 5'2 and 21 weeks pregnant. Where the heck else is she supposed to go but out?? I think I just need to stop wearing stripes because both times somebody has made a size comment I've been wearing stripes.
Everyone tells me "you are going to be miserable pregnant during the summer" when I went through it last year it irritates me and I hit them "well I did it last year so it won't be any different" then they go on about "OMG God bless your heart because you are having kids back to back" and I just give them a dirty stare and I also get "well your second baby can come before your DD first birthday" well geez thanks I am pushing when my body feels freakin ready!!
Today while getting lunch at the cafe at work I was told "omg you're really pregnant now, there's your belly!" Ok, really? I'm really pregnant now?
Then someone else said too today, "you have a belly now! Are you still clean eating and working out or are you pregnant?" Now that was a WOW moment for me. No comment.
This might actually be an UO, but that's not for another two days so I'll prob forget.
We are planning a homebirth, but because I'm on Zoloft (ok'd by three different docs before we got pregnant and after), we have to have an OB "okay" our homebirth by saying that they expect I'll have a normal pregnancy and delivery. She refused to sign off on that (I don't necessarily blame her since OBs get sued left and right), but capped it off by saying that the only thing that matters at the end is a healthy baby so it doesn't matter where I deliver.
Ok. Literally no one disagrees with wanting a healthy baby and mom. No one is like "eh, I don't really care about the outcome". I can have that desire AND have wants and needs for my labor and delivery. Having those wants and needs be important does not invalidate also wanting a healthy baby. They can co-exist. So I hate when people say the only thing that matters is a healthy baby and mom, because it isn't actually the only thing that matters. It all matters. I don't know why those can't exist together. I want to exercise my reproductive right to deliver my baby in a safe and comfortable environment AND I want a healthy baby. Both. Together. Not one or the other.
Its like I'm a bad mom if I genuinely care about more than just having a healthy baby.
@mrsmatt1212 I think you only start treading into "bad mom" territory if you put your little one's life at risk trying to follow your birth plan. Wanting a specific birth isn't in itself a bad thing, it's unwillingness to recognise that birth is dangerous and sometimes the worst happens. In those instances a birth plan isn't going to mean anything, just getting that healthy outcome is all that's going to matter right away. I think most women who tell you that only a healthy mom and baby matter were at one point in your shoes and something didn't go to plan. For me it's usually been my way of saying: hey my birth plan got tossed out the window but DD is here and healthy and looking back that's what mattered. Don't beat yourself up if things do go exactly how you wanted.
MF, I greeted your ass when you got on my elevator! It is common courtesy to remain quiet in an elevator on the way down. I'm not smiling because im thinking about how painful this pelvic and pubic bone pain is so early on and I'm a little overwhelmed to think how much longer I've got to go. Why on God's green Earth is it ok to expect women to smile all the damn time?! If I see him again, he's soooooo getting crop-dusted.
First off, people suck. Everyone at work looks at me all pitiful and asks, "How are you feeling?" Shut up. Then the guy who told me I needed to bring him snacks because I'm pregnant and I'll have them all the time. I'm sorry, who are you? I don't even know your name. Then the other guy at work who told me to "go home and take care of that baby." Uh, are you paying my bills? No? Shut up. Lastly, anyone at work who asks how I'm going to fit in the plane when I get big. Well, how does that guy with the huge beer belly fit? They didn't make him stop working when he got fat and looks at least 13 months along in his pregnancy.
@LSP87 That comment makes my skin crawl. It always comes from creepy older men, too. What bothers me is that I doubt a guy would ever say that to another guy. "Dude, smile! You look so serious". Nope... pretty sure that doesn't happen. But I've gotten that same exact comment multiple times from complete strangers.
@secicc12 - DH has the worst RBF ever and actually does get comments frequently telling him to smile, but it's not the same people who make that creepy comment to women. More often than not, people ask him what's wrong but he definitely gets the "smile!" comment, too. I've been on the receiving end of that and give them an over-exaggerated, sickly-sweet smile for 2 seconds then go back to how I was before. It's so rude!
Not sure if this should go here or in the In Laws thread but I'm currious if anyone's gotten these (ILs or not): MIL saw a picture of me and DH at a wedding a couple weeks ago and apparently told DH that I am carrying low so it's a girl. 1. everyone is "carrying low" at 19 weeks! As a FTM, carrying low apparently has more to do with your ab muscles pre-pregnancy, so thanks for the insult, MIL. 2. the dumb old wives tale is that carrying low means it's a boy. 3. No one who follows me on instagram (only place I posted) lives anywhere close to MIL so someone (nieces?) must have screenshotted and sent the picture to her. I'm okay with this in general but we still can't quite figure out how she got the picture in the first place.
Anyone getting comments about how they are carrying yet? From everything I've read, that's not a thing until the 3rd trimester but maybe I'm wrong.
@kvh22 YES! My MIL has told me over and over how "round" I am. She says that boys carry in the front, where as girls carry all around, but Im having a boy. She still seems to think that im just very round, and tells people this. Two weeks ago, as we were walking out of church, she yelled "OMG LittleBug, You have started to WADDLE!". I was mortified. I was 21 weeks, and in no way waddling. I have a big butt, and it jiggles when I walk, so maybe thats what she thought it was, but WTH!!!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
My mil told me that she was worried about me and that she couldn't wait till I got to the 6 month mark because that means that i'd be "safe" because most people can lose babies before then. It made me pretty upset and I know she didn't do it to be rude, but still, my baby is kicking like crazy and doing fine in there. We had our scan and everything was good.
@LSP87@secicc12 yess! there's a teacher at my school that tells me that almost everyday. You're not smiling, so why the hell do I have to be??? @littlebug2010 I had another pregnant lady tell me a few weeks ago (I was like 19 weeks) that she was so glad I was waddling too. Ummm I'm in no way shape or form waddling. My back hurts, so I may be walking a little off, but it's not waddling! I'm really shocked that my MIL hasn't made any comments about how I'm carrying or anything yet. She has opinions on literally everything else that I say/do so why not this too?!
@NatSprat0703 I think the waddling comments are the worst! Like you said, maybe my back was hurting at the time as well, but I am not waddling! Thankfully DH and BIL were both with me and they confirmed that their mom was insane.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
My mil told me that she was worried about me and that she couldn't wait till I got to the 6 month mark because that means that i'd be "safe" because most people can lose babies before then. It made me pretty upset and I know she didn't do it to be rude, but still, my baby is kicking like crazy and doing fine in there. We had our scan and everything was good.
@Lindstothee sounds like my FIL. Whenever we have family get togethers and he prays, he always says things to the effect of if the Lord sees fit to let us live till the next time or for pregnant women to be able to have their babies. I get the sentiment, but it's very upsetting to hear. Maybe keep that for private prayers.
@Lindstothee - that's terrible - At 24 weeks, you hit "viability day" so maybe that's what she talking about but to say that "most people can lose babies before than" - that's just mean and ignorant. Even if something happened at this stage, hospitals today can do amazing things to keep that baby happy and healthy in your womb for as long as they can. Don't let her make you upset - My MIL said something the same and I told her that it's 2017, not the early 80's - and after all the scans and what the DOCTORS have told me - I have no reason to assume I need to worry.
Me: 37 DH: 37 - Married 10.2015 ❤️ Canadian DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4, DOR, RPL
*TW* I just had a lunch with former co-workers, and one decided to tell me about her cousin who went to the doctor at her due date all was good, wanted to wait another few days to see if the baby came, before needing to induce. Day later her cousin wasn't feeling the baby kicking, went to the hospital and the baby had no heartbeat.
So my former co-worker is going into this at lunch with me, how you never know and you could make it to your due date and have to deliver a stillborn baby and wouldn't I feel terrible and what would I do and on and on. I just stared at her, trying not to cry. Like WHY are you telling the pregnant lady about this?!
I feel terrible for her cousin, I can't even imagine, but just b/c I am pregnant does NOT mean you need to tell me about any and every other pregnant person and story you know, especially when it involves loss. WTF! I lost it when I got in the car. Total mess and just calling my DH and tying not to hyperventilate-cry on the phone.
Still trying to hold it together back at my office, just I can't even.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@smallbutmighty77 Im so sorry that someone told you that story! I feel like people feel they have to prepare us for the worst, while forgetting that we all know what the worst is! I hope your day gets better!!
My grandmother had to deal with both a still birth and a SIDS (in the 50s) death before my mom and aunt were born. Thankfully, she has not felt the need to warn me about those things (though Im fully aware that they happened), but I feel like I am always on edge when near that part of my family, becuase I fear they are going to go into details of what happened to them!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@smallbutmighty77 OMG I had something similar happen to me when I wasn't pregnant. *TW* I was in a CPR class where I worked and a coworker was pregnant and our very old male CPR instructor began telling us about how women perform abortions on themselves (how that is relevant at ALL I do not know he just talked so much). I literally had to stand up and ask him to stop because my pregnant coworker was shaking. It was horrible and so insensitive. People are the worst sometimes.
Thanks ladies, I looked at cute puppies for a few minutes to make myself feel better. I am amazed at the things people feel/ think are ok to share just because it involves pregnancy.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@smallbutmighty77 Terrible. That's my greatest fear right now and I can't believe someone told you that. Like, even at 24 weeks our babies don't move as much as they're statistically likely to starting at 28 weeks when we should be tracking kicks, yet I get paranoid when things are quiet or she's not as feisty as she was the day before. This baby is our daughter and I can't even imagine the devastation. Geez, internet hugs all around.
I just had someone at work congratulate me and then ask if I knew what I was having. I said I didn't know. She thought I had 1 child and when I said I already have 2 boys, she said she hopes I have a girl and she always feels bad for people who have 3 boys. WTF. She's definitely socially awkward, but that's no excuse for saying stupid things.
I had parent conferences this past week. A woman said to me (knowing I have twins at home), so you're having twins again huh? Thanks. A. Lot.
Then! Another parent stopped me and asked me if I'd carried my twins to full term, stating that her mother had, and it's really too bad when someone can't fulfill their 40 weeks. I had my twins at 34 weeks because my daughters water broke. I had no control over that whatsoever, but thanks for trying to make me feel like a failure as a mom.
Lastly, and to all these ladies who have had the *tw* unexplainable comments about loss. Whenever someone says something like that to me, I always respond with "I can't possibly see how you sharing this story is beneficial in any way." Then I remove myself from the situation. I'm so sorry that you ladies had to deal with that, people are incredibly insensitive.
@smallbutmighty77 People are awful. I hate the "just you wait" comments, or horror stories, or anything else terrible people feel they need to tell pregnant women.
I actually go out of my way to make sure if I'm speaking to someone who is expecting to tell thensuper positive and happy things, like, "Oh my gosh, the first time you hold that sweet baby will feel like heaven" or "Nothing compares to being a mama. Every age and stage is so precious!"
There is absolutely nothing beneficial about telling horror stories!
I got a lot of comments on being "so big" yesterday from all the old ladies in DH's extended family. I really haven't gained much weight, it's really my belly and boobs. My sister in law is due right before me, so she got lots of comments, too. So annoying.
Literally no one disagrees with wanting a healthy baby and mom. No one is like "eh, I don't really care about the outcome". I can have that desire AND have wants and needs for my labor and delivery.
Its like I'm a bad mom if I genuinely care about more than just having a healthy baby.
I cannot agree with you more. I feel this 1000%. The healthy mom and healthy baby line is so basic. That is the lowest expected minimum in this day and age. Can we not hope for and plan for more?
"Oh you're really pregnant now" from my own mother! I told her that I've been pregnant for 22 weeks now, there's no partially pregnant or kind of pregnant. I just got lucky to not really start showing until this last week.
I had a piece of cake with my lunch and was told "Should you really be eating that?" This coming from someone that is a poorly controlled diabetic. I told him "Yup!" and walked away.
My grandpa told me after I reached for a 3rd slice of pizza, "That's enough. You've had too much already. You need to watch your weight. I don't want you to get fat."
he has Alzheimer's so I'm letting it slide. I ate a 4th slice afterward.
@DeansGirl14 Where can we bury that guy? If he doesn't have Alzheimer's as an excuse, he's gotta go!
A friend/coworker of mine always jokes "How's the twins!?" and I know it's a joke but sometimes it pisses me off. So I tell him, how's your great grandkids? (he's 45 yo and has 3 grand kids, so I joke that he has great grandkids).
I had a church member "jokingly" tell me on Sunday "wow your getting so fat". Now I think he was joking becuase he knows im pregnant, but it still threw me off.
My MIL and a few older ladies at that same church keep telling me how round I am, and how much I carry all around. I swear they forgot that I was already a bit round to begin with and have always had a large butt.
my FIL, however, was super sweet on Sunday and said "Wow I don't think you've gained any weight, except in your belly, thats so fantastic! You look amazing!". I could have cried on the spot with that one.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
This past week at the nail salon, the nail tech goes, "Are you pregnant? You've always had such a beautiful body. I wondered what had happened." I wish I was kidding... I've only gained 13 lbs.
I was talking to a friend about how much people feel like they can comment on your body when you are pregnant. It's like your body is public property. Unfortunately, I think I have always done this too. But it ranges from, "You look so thin." or "Are you sure you're gaining enough weight?" to "Wow, you're really pregnant now." or "You've really popped haven't you?"
My friend reminded me that people's comments often have more to do with them and their body image/body expectations then my actual health. My midwife has no concerns about my weight gain either way, so why does everyone else. Because they are projecting their issues on me. But still, it is tiring to be the subject of such public comment.
Re: Shit people say to pregnant women
Years of customer service work pretty much only taught me how to be rude to people without them realizing I know that I'm being rude. It's kind of a gift.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
Then someone else said too today, "you have a belly now! Are you still clean eating and working out or are you pregnant?" Now that was a WOW moment for me. No comment.
We are planning a homebirth, but because I'm on Zoloft (ok'd by three different docs before we got pregnant and after), we have to have an OB "okay" our homebirth by saying that they expect I'll have a normal pregnancy and delivery. She refused to sign off on that (I don't necessarily blame her since OBs get sued left and right), but capped it off by saying that the only thing that matters at the end is a healthy baby so it doesn't matter where I deliver.
Ok. Literally no one disagrees with wanting a healthy baby and mom. No one is like "eh, I don't really care about the outcome". I can have that desire AND have wants and needs for my labor and delivery. Having those wants and needs be important does not invalidate also wanting a healthy baby. They can co-exist. So I hate when people say the only thing that matters is a healthy baby and mom, because it isn't actually the only thing that matters. It all matters. I don't know why those can't exist together. I want to exercise my reproductive right to deliver my baby in a safe and comfortable environment AND I want a healthy baby. Both. Together. Not one or the other.
Its like I'm a bad mom if I genuinely care about more than just having a healthy baby.
MF, I greeted your ass when you got on my elevator! It is common courtesy to remain quiet in an elevator on the way down. I'm not smiling because im thinking about how painful this pelvic and pubic bone pain is so early on and I'm a little overwhelmed to think how much longer I've got to go. Why on God's green Earth is it ok to expect women to smile all the damn time?! If I see him again, he's soooooo getting crop-dusted.
Not sure if this should go here or in the In Laws thread but I'm currious if anyone's gotten these (ILs or not): MIL saw a picture of me and DH at a wedding a couple weeks ago and apparently told DH that I am carrying low so it's a girl. 1. everyone is "carrying low" at 19 weeks! As a FTM, carrying low apparently has more to do with your ab muscles pre-pregnancy, so thanks for the insult, MIL. 2. the dumb old wives tale is that carrying low means it's a boy. 3. No one who follows me on instagram (only place I posted) lives anywhere close to MIL so someone (nieces?) must have screenshotted and sent the picture to her. I'm okay with this in general but we still can't quite figure out how she got the picture in the first place.
Anyone getting comments about how they are carrying yet? From everything I've read, that's not a thing until the 3rd trimester but maybe I'm wrong.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
@littlebug2010 I had another pregnant lady tell me a few weeks ago (I was like 19 weeks) that she was so glad I was waddling too. Ummm I'm in no way shape or form waddling. My back hurts, so I may be walking a little off, but it's not waddling!
I'm really shocked that my MIL hasn't made any comments about how I'm carrying or anything yet. She has opinions on literally everything else that I say/do so why not this too?!
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
DX: Endometriosis - Stage 4, DOR, RPL
03.2016 - Natural BFP - MC 5w4d
04.2016 - Natural BFP - Chemical
10.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = IUI Cancelled (cyst/no mature follicle)
11.2016 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFP, EDD 08.2017 - It's a BOY!
TTC #2 06.2019
08.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #1 = Chemical
09.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #2 = BFN
10.2019 - IUI w/ Injections #3 = BFN
01.2020 - IUI w/ Injections #4 = BFN
08.2020 - Natural BFP - MC 9w5d
11.2020 - IVF Retrieval - 3AB & 4BB
05.2021 - FET #1 = BFP, EDD 02.2022 - It's a BOY!
I just had a lunch with former co-workers, and one decided to tell me about her cousin who went to the doctor at her due date all was good, wanted to wait another few days to see if the baby came, before needing to induce.
Day later her cousin wasn't feeling the baby kicking, went to the hospital and the baby had no heartbeat.
So my former co-worker is going into this at lunch with me, how you never know and you could make it to your due date and have to deliver a stillborn baby and wouldn't I feel terrible and what would I do and on and on. I just stared at her, trying not to cry. Like WHY are you telling the pregnant lady about this?!
I feel terrible for her cousin, I can't even imagine, but just b/c I am pregnant does NOT mean you need to tell me about any and every other pregnant person and story you know, especially when it involves loss. WTF! I lost it when I got in the car. Total mess and just calling my DH and tying not to hyperventilate-cry on the phone.
Still trying to hold it together back at my office, just I can't even.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
My grandmother had to deal with both a still birth and a SIDS (in the 50s) death before my mom and aunt were born. Thankfully, she has not felt the need to warn me about those things (though Im fully aware that they happened), but I feel like I am always on edge when near that part of my family, becuase I fear they are going to go into details of what happened to them!
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
Terrible. That's my greatest fear right now and I can't believe someone told you that. Like, even at 24 weeks our babies don't move as much as they're statistically likely to starting at 28 weeks when we should be tracking kicks, yet I get paranoid when things are quiet or she's not as feisty as she was the day before. This baby is our daughter and I can't even imagine the devastation.
Geez, internet hugs all around.
Then! Another parent stopped me and asked me if I'd carried my twins to full term, stating that her mother had, and it's really too bad when someone can't fulfill their 40 weeks. I had my twins at 34 weeks because my daughters water broke. I had no control over that whatsoever, but thanks for trying to make me feel like a failure as a mom.
Lastly, and to all these ladies who have had the *tw* unexplainable comments about loss. Whenever someone says something like that to me, I always respond with "I can't possibly see how you sharing this story is beneficial in any way." Then I remove myself from the situation. I'm so sorry that you ladies had to deal with that, people are incredibly insensitive.
I actually go out of my way to make sure if I'm speaking to someone who is expecting to tell thensuper positive and happy things, like, "Oh my gosh, the first time you hold that sweet baby will feel like heaven" or "Nothing compares to being a mama. Every age and stage is so precious!"
There is absolutely nothing beneficial about telling horror stories!
he has Alzheimer's so I'm letting it slide. I ate a 4th slice afterward.
@DeansGirl14 Where can we bury that guy? If he doesn't have Alzheimer's as an excuse, he's gotta go!
My MIL and a few older ladies at that same church keep telling me how round I am, and how much I carry all around. I swear they forgot that I was already a bit round to begin with and have always had a large butt.
my FIL, however, was super sweet on Sunday and said "Wow I don't think you've gained any weight, except in your belly, thats so fantastic! You look amazing!". I could have cried on the spot with that one.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
My friend reminded me that people's comments often have more to do with them and their body image/body expectations then my actual health. My midwife has no concerns about my weight gain either way, so why does everyone else. Because they are projecting their issues on me. But still, it is tiring to be the subject of such public comment.