All Things Sleep Training

MrsMaryK2016 · February 2017

I'm assuming I'm not the only one about to start sleep training so I figured we should have a thread dedicated to questions and suggestions.

MrsMaryK2016 · February 2017

Who has a method they loved or resources they want to share for how to get baby to fall asleep on their own? M isn't even close to going to bed "drowsy but awake". He has to be rocked to sleep before every nap, bedtime and each night feeding. Rocking lasts between 10-20 minutes... kill me. I'm terrified of how things will go when he hits the next leap (object permanence). Help!!

m6agua · February 2017

@MrsMaryK2016 I am in the same situation. Rocking or the swing is the only thing that gets her to sleep. Then you put her in the crib and she wakes up! I hope it's not too hard to help her learn to soothe herself. My friend loaned me this book and I find it helpful so far. It says not to start the stuff until 4 months.

SandNStarsNJ · February 2017

I don't know much about sleep training but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to wait till 4 months. With our first I honestly nursed her to sleep every night for 10 months or so. Otherwise it was all routine and repetition. Naps were at the same exact time every day, bedtime always started with a bath, moved into getting changed, reading and then nursing (minus the nursing it's still the same 2 years later).

Maybe we're just lucky, but she has been sleeping from 6:30-6:30 since she was six months old and we've never broken the routine.

kvruns · February 2017

We did sleep training at 4 weeks out of desperation. The book was something like Baby Sleep site solution. I don't agree with some of it but it did work. I follow a more flexible routine but the basics are there and he sleeps decent. He does get rocked/sung to for sleep but it doesn't take too long and he's usually not asleep completely. Sometimes he cries and has to be soothed a time or 2 but it's not bad usually

thus far I can't get him to sleep/nap without being swaddled which worries me

kristah2 · February 2017

I'm not fully sleep training yet but M has figured out how to self soothe which helps. I put him in asleep after feeding but if he wakes sometimes he manages to get himself back to sleep which makes me happy. Other times he screams bloody murder.
I think I'll start in a month or so.
In the meantime I do haves PDF copy of the sleep sense book. I haven't read it yet but I've heard amazing things from other mamas.
If anyone wants me to forward them a copy let me know and pm me your email!

erniebernie1 · February 2017

I sleep trainined my first at around 4 months. We used the sleep sense program, which is good an it gives you 2 different options to sleep. But they are basically just cry it out- Ferber and like a pick up put down method, both of which can easily be googled. The biggest thing is giving your baby a method to help self soothe, with my first we gave him a lovie and white noise and the sleep suit. Well also be sleep training this one at around 4 months if he stil up every 2 hrs

rspalding001 · February 2017

We did the cry it out method (waiting progressively longer periods of time before picking up to sooth) but probably waited until closer to 6 months. There is a 4 month sleep regression so didn't make sense to try and train through that. It really wasn't that bad. By day three I think the crying was down to less than 5 minutes. Maybe 5-10 at the most.

Ladybug2821 · February 2017

I really want to start sleep training soon but the handful of times I've just tried to lay her down awake or give her time to fall asleep on her own after waking up she has screamed like someone is killing her. Doesn't look optimistic.

ZoeFer · February 2017

LO usually sleeps during nursing at 8pm everynight. then i put her into her crib and she usually sleeps until 1-2 am. then she gets up for nursing one or two more times until 6-7am. but she sleeps during nursing everytime she wakes up. If she wakes open her eyes in her crib, she usually goes back to sleep soon.
I had read a bit about sleep training before the baby was born and i was pretty determined to do that but i am not sure now if we really need to go that route if this works.
my other question is when do you stop feeding at night? is this the reason of sleep training?

Ladybug2821 · February 2017

@ZoeFer Sleep training is basically training your baby to fall asleep on their own. You would be able to lay them down awake and they would fall asleep instead of you laying them down asleep. As far as when they stop night nursing, I think every baby is different and it also depends on if they're going through a regression or growth spurt. My LO used to only wake once but now she's been waking twice to nurse. Unfortunate she's also waking 1-2 additional times just because.

SandNStarsNJ · February 2017

@zoefer I have no experience with sleep training, but those I know who have implemented it, chose to because their LO wasn't falling asleep at bedtime at all for a fairly long time. Most of their LO's were between 12 & 18 mo.

As as far as night feedings, this early I would continue to function on demand at night. Should the feedings start to become very short or not real honest eating, then I would consider eliminating that feeding. My first LO needed to be forced into dropping those clearly just for comfort feedings, but was sleeping through the night at 7 mo and has continued to do so ever since. Though I know for some 7 mo is very late.

tvh1982 · February 2017

I've been told that until they are 6 months they still need their nightfeeding so not to push to get rid of them, but one could give a size smaller bottle and see if they accept it.
My little girl would sleep from 8 til 2 too if I'd let her. And then again at about 5 or 6.
Now I do a dreamfeed and pick her up at 11pm without really waking her, and her next feed is anywhere between 04:30 and 06:30 and then again at 8am or 9am.
By giving her the dreamfeed she only wakes me once instead of twice during the night. So that worked for me to get 'rid' of one feeding she actually already skipped only she skipped it in the beginning of the night and I moved it a little further through the night.

MrsMaryK2016 · February 2017

What exactly is involved in this four month sleep regression? Like how bad is it going to be? We are already sleeping poorly and I really don't know how it can get worse. He went to bed at 8, slept to midnight and was up at 1, 3:30, 5:30, 6, and 7:30.

rspalding001 · February 2017

@mrsmaryk2016 with my DD who was only giving me 2 hours between feeds at the time her regression turned into waking every hour for a while. It was terrible. But not everyone has that experience. I'd say expect it to get a little worse than your used to for a while then it will probably get better than you were used to. After the regression my daughter started giving me stretches longer than 2 hours for the first time ever.
Now my DS is a better sleeper so I'm not sure what to expect from him.
Good luck to us all!!!

SandNStarsNJ · February 2017

Is it bad that I must have blocked out the sleep regression with DD? I don't remember it at all... but I was also very tired all the time so who knows. I'm really hoping it's nothing to crazy with DS.

kvruns · February 2017

I'm trying to be in denial of the 4 month regression. His swaddle issue now, vacation next week, then day care after that is already going to throw his sleep into a mess so I hate to think there is something after that a week or two later.

tvh1982 · February 2017

Woot? There is a 4 month regression?
We are just on the right track!
I guess it's a good thing we are traveling and she'll be sleeping next to me, so just mess it all up at once I guess..

MollySm · February 2017

I try drowsy but awake, and did the same with my other 2 kids. It doesn't always work, but I try almost every time. The easiest is at night, if we put her in bed, and then sit in our bed near her, talking quietly. If it doesn't work we walk her to sleep, but we try first. I never feed her to sleep. We follow eat, play sleep, so she always eats as soon as she wakes up.

My older two never had a 4 month sleep regression I don't think. I wouldn't worry about it unless it happens.

Ladybug2821 · February 2017

I think I'm in the middle of the regression now. So far I've noticed that LO used to wake only once for a night feed. Now she's waking 2-4 times but only eating twice. Naps have always been short at 30 mins but it would only take 10 mins max without much of a fight to get her asleep and laid down. Now she whines and cries while I'm trying to get her to sleep. I do think she is trying to stretch out her wake time though from 1 HR to 1hr15 mins and some of her naps have been 45-60 mins now. I made the mistake of leaving one arm out of the swaddle last night and she woke every hour until 2 am. I gave up and put her all the way in. She will be in a swaddle the rest of her life

.

Ladybug2821 · February 2017

I guess I'll put this here since its sleep related and one of the reasons I want to sleep train. S actually took a 2.5 HR nap in her crib yesterday. I was shocked because at the most we get an hour but usually 30 mins. I didn't do anything different so idk why it happened. I thought maybe the time so I put her down for a nap today at the same time and of course she only slept 30 mins

. I'm just so tired of it taking so long to put her to sleep for just 30 mins. I really want to be able to just lay her down and walk away. I actually do have a question here though, she is starting to wake at 6:30 am for the day now as opposed to 7:30/8. Does that mean she needs to be put to bed earlier? Her usual bedtime is 8/8:30.

MrsMaryK2016 · February 2017

@Ladybug2821 It can't hurt to try! Everything I'm seeing says they should be sleeping 11-12 hours a night. I moved M's bedtime back to 7 and it's been great. He sleeps till 6:30-7ish everyday with 1-2 feedings at night.

Ladybug2821 · February 2017

MrsMaryK2016 said:

@Ladybug2821 It can't hurt to try! Everything I'm seeing says they should be sleeping 11-12 hours a night. I moved M's bedtime back to 7 and it's been great. He sleeps till 6:30-7ish everyday with 1-2 feedings at night.

Part of me knows I need to. I've read the same info but it makes me sad knowing that when I start work that I'll only have 2 hrs with her

.

RhodaMorgenstern · February 2017

I think we need to transition A out of the Magic Merlin and I am so dreading it. She's been rolling pretty regularly (both ways) and this morning, she had rolled onto her side and got her arm wedg d between the bars of the crib. I have no idea what to transition her into and what to do about the arm wedging issue (crib bumpers or liners are illegal in the state we live in.)

kvruns · February 2017

@ladybug2821 mine has been creeping up his awake time in the morning. well really he pushed it back into this limbo where it is too late to put him back down (he'll scream) but too early for me to want to start the day. the past two days have been 6am instead of 7am which stinks but I figure when I go back to work soon he'll need to be up by 6:30 so whatever. I'm not willing to push back his bedtime though bc he's in a good routine for night sleep and I dont want to break it

@RhodaMorgenstern I didn't think babies could roll in a Merlin since there's so poofy. I've only tried mine in Merlin once and he hated it, but it was big on him, haven't tried it since and he's doing ok with swaddling arms out now so I might not ever use it

Ladybug2821 · February 2017

How does the Merlin sleep suit actually work? Is it that heavy that they can't lift their arms? The reason S is in a swaddle is because her startle reflex is sooooo strong and she rubs her face like crazy while she's sleepy/sleeping which also knocks out her pacifier.

MrsMaryK2016 · February 2017

@RhodaMorgenstern Your LO is rolling both ways?! M rolled from belly to back for the first time today but I'm pretty sure it was an accident - he hasn't done it again.

Should I be worried that he's not really even trying to roll? When do they normally hit this milestone?

lajoliedreamer · February 2017

@MrsMaryK2016 - E is 4 months on Sunday and hasn't even rolled from belly to back. I mentioned it to the pediatrician the other day and she said they don't worry unless baby isn't rolling at 6 months, so some babies just take longer, I guess.

kristah2 · February 2017

M too! He will sometimes roll from belly to back but it's so spontaneous and random that idont think he even realizes what he's doing. He's 4 months on Sunday as well!

RhodaMorgenstern · February 2017

@Ladybug2821 try the Merlin. A can still suck her fingers in it but she also still has startle reflexes. The Merlin is the only thing that stopped them for her.
@MrsMaryK2016 at daycare, A is regularly rolling from tummy to back an so she started doing the reverse on Saturday. She's had good head control since about 3-4 weeks. My coworker has a daughter who is a month older than A and still hasn't rolled. I don't know that it makes a difference but his daughter is in the 75th percentile for height and weight while A is in the 50th and 40th percentiles. Every baby is different, I guess.

MrsMaryK2016 · February 2017

Ok sounds like we're ok then. He's got great neck control but he hates tummy time and fusses instead of wiggling around trying to flip. This is partially my fault as I really didn't make it a priority until recently. Although I will say the more I do it the longer stretches we get before he loses it.

desoky01 · February 2017

My little guy rolled from front to back the day he turned two months, and then did it for three days but hasn't done it since. Weird, but I'm guessing he either forgot how or isn't that excited about it yet. He rolls from his back to his sides now at three months but hasn't mastered a complete roll from back to front yet. I wish I wasn't worried about him forgetting how to roll from tummy to back. I worry excessively about everything though.

SandNStarsNJ · February 2017

@desoky01 The worries can break you down sometimes. Trust your instincts and LO's. He won't forget.

@mrsmaryk2016 I'm guilty of neglecting tummy time with both of my kids. They aren't huge fans of it so I keep it at a minimum. The way I see it is that my first turned out just fine with little tummy time so I'm sure this guy won't have any issues.

That said, he squirms with a desire to roll but has yet to roll. He'll be 3 mo on Saturday. They will each progress at their own pace and all eventually catch up to one another. So I don't stress over the physical stuff.

Ladybug2821 · February 2017

Does anyone here actually have success with laying down awake? S had her 4 month appt today and of course the dr says she needs to be out of her swaddle and I should be putting her down awake. Easier said than done. I do think I just need to bite the bullet and start sleep training before I go back to work. I'm already sleep deprived so what difference does it make.

SandNStarsNJ · February 2017

Ladybug2821 said:

Does anyone here actually have success with laying down awake? S had her 4 month appt today and of course the dr says she needs to be out of her swaddle and I should be putting her down awake. Easier said than done. I do think I just need to bite the bullet and start sleep training before I go back to work. I'm already sleep deprived so what difference does it make.

I've never known a pediatrician to suggest ending a swaddle. Who knew? I would go with your instincts. For me, sleep training isn't in the cards but that's because I don't have the discipline for it and I'm not sure LO needs it just yet. A casual conversation with my OB revealed that she is just starting sleep training with her 18 mo old because that's how long it took for her to decide it was necessary.

tvh1982 · February 2017

Ladybug2821 said:

Does anyone here actually have success with laying down awake? S had her 4 month appt today and of course the dr says she needs to be out of her swaddle and I should be putting her down awake. Easier said than done. I do think I just need to bite the bullet and start sleep training before I go back to work. I'm already sleep deprived so what difference does it make.

Nope!
Or sometimes, but then she's very tired and I have the golden moment to put her down.
If I put her down awake I'll have to walk around upstairs, in and out her room, or sit in the chair in her room.
Its easier to just rock her to sleep.
Babies aren't programmed to do this just yet, and I believe if neither mommy or LO is ready it's just not going to happen.

I agree with @sandnstarsnj follow your instincts.
I stopped listening to my pediatrician about how my LO should be sleeping.
Both of us, my LO and I get 6 hours sleep at night ones I listened to my instincts.

desoky01 · February 2017

For some reason laying little guy down drowsy but awake has been working for us, but honestly I think he is just a trick baby. He has been falling asleep on his own with the help of the pacifier and I don't have any idea why it's working but I'm taking it. I wish I could share some of this magic we're having! For us this week it's working, although sometimes he wakes up often.

kvruns · February 2017

Ladybug2821 said:

Does anyone here actually have success with laying down awake? S had her 4 month appt today and of course the dr says she needs to be out of her swaddle and I should be putting her down awake. Easier said than done. I do think I just need to bite the bullet and start sleep training before I go back to work. I'm already sleep deprived so what difference does it make.

When he was swaddled arms in he'd be almost out but not all the way and I'd get him down and asleep decently well. With his arms out tho he has to be fully asleep or he's not having it, especially in naps. Super annoying now to rock him forever and have him fight me.

SandNStarsNJ · February 2017

That's awesome @desoky01!

desoky01 · February 2017

I know this isn't exactly sleep training related but it's sleep related...H is an insomniac and has trouble falling back asleep once woken up. LO is so loud in his sleep, so even though he's sleeping H is not. So H basically gave the ultimatum. He's on the couch or LO is in his crib in the nursery. It's right next door so it shouldn't feel that hard for me, but I don't want him to be next door! I also understand H's issue though. Ugh, I hate milestones like this. I love sleeping close to LO, and I love nursing him while laying down. I don't want to have to get up and travel so far to nurse or soothe. And that makes me feel selfish too. Ugh ugh ugh. Bad morning in our household.

SandNStarsNJ · February 2017

@desoky01 I'm sorry you are being pushed to a decision you're not ready for yet. If it's any reassurance, I have now had two kids go straight to cribs from the hospital and while you worry for a few days, the adjustment becomes easier and LO gets a sense of independence and their own space. You can always keep your nap time cuddles. This way you still get the closeness and DH gets some sleep.

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