I don't want to post anything in the birth stories thread because I'm enjoying the purity of it, but I have a birth related question for STMs! A handful of you mentioned second degree tears and I'm curious about what I can do to prevent it. I know sometimes it's just gonna happen but for now I am giving myself hope.
So my questions are:
did you tear? how many stitches? in what position did you push? did you do perineal massage? did you use any oils to help the baby 'glide' out?
sorry if the massage question is TMI. I've only hear of the using oil to assist in north once or twice and not even sure if the hospital would allow it or what kind of oil you would use, but curious to hear if anyone has.
Tore with DS in 2007- doctor did a double episiotomy to prevent further tearing. Basically he cut me in the shape of an upside down V.
I know there were a lot of stitches involved. Like 30 total.
Pushed on my back, no massage or oils.
Episiotomy is like my greatest fear going forward. Recovery was horrific for me. I couldn't sit for days and ended up in the ER about a week later with infected stitches. Thankfully I got narcotic pain relief at that point.
And has anyone done a prenatal massage before? I just scheduled one, but would love to hear of anyone's experience.
I've already had two and am about to schedule a third. I had one last pregnancy too.
Both tkmes this pregnancy they had this nest thing I laid belly down on. It has divots for your boobs and belly and it's under the fitted sheet. When you lay on the table you have to nudgenit around to get the holes in the right places for your bits but it gets comfy quickly. Also when they do the face up portion when you lay on your back they incline the table. I like a good firm massage to work things out and was able to get just that.
The one I had last pregnancy they had a billion pillows and set me up on my side and I didn't like that as much. It was more uncomfortable and I kind of felt the position made it harder for them to really work on muscles, I felt like they pet me for an hour.
Has anyone had to take their ring(s) off yet? With DS1 my wedding ring had to come off around 6 months. I know part of that was due the slowly developing preeclamsia swelling I had. With DS I only took it of just before my C-section. But I just came back form a short 15 minute walk and I notice how tight my ring felt.
@mcvgal I haven't taken mine off yet, but I've been paying close attention to how they're feeling. I think I've noticed a bit more tightness in the last couple weeks.
@mcvgal I've never had to take mine off, I wore them through both deliveries. Which looking back on was probably a bad idea because I'm sure if I would have went into an emergency c-section who knows where they would have went.. But, I take mine off every night before I sleep which I notice helps. I don't have to worry about waking up and one day they are stuck from my fingers swelling over night!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
@mcvgalI had to take my ring off actually quite a while back. My hands flucuate a lot, so with the first 10 pounds my ring was feeling really tight when I walked for any length of time. I didn't want to take the chance so I just took it off around 15ish weeks and have had it off ever since
@mcvgal with DD I needed to take my rings off about 6-7 weeks before she was born. This time (I'm 26 weeks 1 day) they are getting a little tight but not to where I'll need to take them off any time soon.
@mcvgal I've never had to take mine off, I wore them through both deliveries. Which looking back on was probably a bad idea because I'm sure if I would have went into an emergency c-section who knows where they would have went.. But, I take mine off every night before I sleep which I notice helps. I don't have to worry about waking up and one day they are stuck from my fingers swelling over night!
Samesies! I kept mine on through the whole last pregnancy (although took off for the actual delivery). And I, too, take them off every night so I'm guessing I'll notice if my fingers start swelling.
@mcvgal I've taken a ring off that I wear on my right hand, its a little tighter than my left hand. So, my wedding rings are still on, but like PPs I'm keeping an eye out. Its get more and more humid here in FL, well its going back and forth, but I swell up when it gets crazy hot and I seem to be crazy hot all of the time now! I hate the idea of not having it on, but I'd rather take it off than have it cut off or worse!
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
I had to take my ring off at about 4 mos w/ DD, but it was getting pretty hot around then. I've had it re-sized since then as my fingers (and my feet) never went back down to their pre-pregnancy size. My ring gets a little tight here and there but it's OK for now.
Sorry ladies if this has been brought up before but I haven't see anything on the boards. DH and I were discussing where to put this LOs car seat. DD is currently in the middle forward facing. We've read many different articles some say to move the infant in the middle and move forward facing child to the side then other articles say opposite that forward facing child be in the middle and infant on the side. so I wanted to ask you ladies where you are putting or have put your 2nd child's car seat? Where is truly the safest spot for my children's car seats!?!
@MrsFox2008 I think officially that the "safest" spot just depends on where you can get the best install. DD is currently rear facing behind the passenger. We will probably move her to front facing behind the driver and put the baby rear facing behind the passenger. I like to use LATCH, which I can't do in the middle and it seems super hard to get kids in and out of a middle seat.
Per my police officer dad and firefighter brother, the middle is always the safest spot. Next would be behind the drivers side as the driver will protect their side just on pure instinct. But like @NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot said, safe install is the most important. So IF you can get a safe install with infant in middle and older LO on drivers side then I would do that. But remember, you can't share latches with two car seats and often the middle seat doesn't have their own latch system so you would need to use the belt install, which is just as safe if you can get a tight install!
If you can't use middle seat, then infant on drivers side and older child on passenger side. This is the install we have done and will do.
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
@jayandaplus I got two pregnancy massages last pregnancy and to me they're not worth it. They can massage you like they normally would and I felt it was a waste of money.
My sweet BIL did get me a deep tissue pregnancy massage for Christmas that he did a lot of research on. I'm saving that for after I finish traveling for work and will see how that one goes.
Seriously, guys. I have not been a great worker lately. I can't focus on anything unless it's baby or child related, it's crazy. And my DH's birthday is coming up and I have ZERO ideas on what to get him. And Valentines Day? UGH....anyone have anything fab planned for Vday that I can steal?
Re: car seat locations Currently my son is on the passenger side because I can reach back there easily. He will move to behind me and baby will take the passenger side.
LATCH is convenient but it does have low weight limits. Once we got the convertible seat we had to switch to a seatbelt install anyway.
I think the buggest factor is definitely where you can go a good install because this will totally vary from car to car based on the shape of the seat it's installed on.
And FWIW I think climbing into the car to put a kid in the middle seat is a huge pain. Some people don't mind it but it's something to consider.
@jayandaplus I have no experience of my own, but both my SIL used one this fall after they had their babies. One had a c-section and one delivered vaginally. They both reported that it helped their bellies get smaller after birth.
@Kipperoo Valentines Day?! I can't remember the last time DH and I did something special for Valentines Day haha. Last year he was out of town, so I think I enjoyed a glass of wine and cupcake DDs and I made by myself. This year I think he will be in town so I guess I'll make sure dinner is made and some dessert. That's about as extensive as I'll get!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Seriously, guys. I have not been a great worker lately. I can't focus on anything unless it's baby or child related, it's crazy. And my DH's birthday is coming up and I have ZERO ideas on what to get him. And Valentines Day? UGH....anyone have anything fab planned for Vday that I can steal?
This is me, too. No focus on anything that's not baby related. No gift ideas for anyone. H told me he already got me a Valentine's gift this year and pointed to my stomach. How romantic. Honestly, though, if we just sit around this year, I'd be happy with that.
@jayandaplus I used a Bellefit corset last time and really appreciated it. Not sure if it actually made my belly smaller any quicker, but it certainly gave the appearance of it. It also helped hold everything snug in the southern region which was shockingly helpful. It hurt far less to cough wearing it. I felt like a deflated balloon with a sore back without it. I will totally be using it again. https://www.bellefit.com/product/corset/
@Louise_Belcher: Thx for the link. At what time postp did you start wearing it? How many hours a day did you wear it? What about while sleeping? Was the crotch access easy to get used to, also, can you wear this without the crotch part fastened? (I don't think I'd like anything, even hook and eye, pushing against that region for some time.)
I have my son RF in the center and I don't find it to be a pain at all, you get to sit down while strapping them in.
I wore some inexpensive band I found on amazon after my last birth and I didn't find it very comfortable. It was helpful to wear when I went on walks right after the baby was born and you feel like your organs are jiggling around in your loose body lol. Such a weird feeling.
oh and no valentines plans here... I work full time and I have such mom guilt about it that I never want to spend any extra time away from DS. If my husband cooked me dinner AND cleaned it up then we snuggled, that would be all the valentines day festivities I need.
On the subject of post-birth compression wear, I never went full girdle, but I LOOOVE compression tanks like these--not super constricted, but helped me feel a little less...flappy?...post birth. Not terrible to BF in around the house, either, because they are super stretchy. I actually wear them (and similar versions) almost daily during pregnancy, too, because it just makes the bump feel a little more supported without being uncomfortable at all. https://www.target.com/p/maidenform-self-expressions-women-s-suddenly-skinny-tailored-cami-489/-/A-12912020
Safest is the middle/ where you can get the best install. RF is safer than FF SO if you have a RF-er and FF-er it would be safest to put the FF-er in the middle (since it's technically safer than an outboard seat) and the RF-er (even newborn) on the outboard.
However, I believe most FF-ing requires something (a head rest or top tether?) which most middle seats don't have, so you'd have to be outboard. Phew! Does that all make sense? I'm kind of a car seat nazi and currently OBSESSED with the CSFTL group.
I'm pretty positive my Jeep doesn't have latches for the middle so we will try seatbelt install there. If that install isn't great then I'll do behind the passenger seat using the latch system. H's car pretty sure has middle latch so I'm hoping that is what we will do there.
Surprisingly, still wearing my rings. My hands swell easily, but I think it being winter has helped immensely. I can guarantee if it were summer they'd be off. Hoping I can get through to May with them on! It does start to get hot though.
@SKZW I started wearing within a day or two of getting home. I started out with a few hours at a time. It was very snug in the beginning. I did end up wearing it near constantly (day and night) for about a month. Then I would wear it during the day and take it off at night. I was extremely apprehensive about the crotch. It is a very sore area and I didn't think I would be able to stand something pushing on it. I think it could be worn undone if needed, but I was surprised to find the security and pressure actually helped relieve pain in the area for me. I wore this over depends with another pad inside and a padsicle until I got down to just a pad and regular underwear.
Anyone else having a weird crazy day? It seems like I've been dealing with incompetent people all day, mainly with our realtor and insurance agent, but still. Maybe I'm just crabby from not sleeping well again last night, but come on! I shouldn't have to do your job especially when this is the first time we are buying a house!
Whenever this happens my boss checks if it is a full moon or the week before (I laugh every time) and it turns out is is a week and a half from the full moon...if its already crazy, I can only imagine what the next week or so will bring! Ugh...
p.s. not sure I fully buy into the full moon deal, but it seems to happen every time like clockwork! So, I'm listening to rock-a-bye baby lullabies lol my husband downloaded them at home so I thought I'd listen to them at work too (on amazon music).
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
@BabyMC517 I totally bought into the full moon thing as a teacher! It was a warning in the halls amongst teachers, "be prepared, it's a full moon today guys!" Kids were just crazy!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
@h&pmomma it apparently carries with them to college! I work on a college campus and all the craziness and issues seem to happen around this time! Its really amazing and frustrating haha
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
Hahaha...I don't think I've ever bought into the "full moon" thing, but I've had a few people at work exclaim with shock as they add to their calendar that my current planned induction date (April 11th) is a full moon. As if that means I'm going to be in for a SUPER crazy birth...lets hope that's not true.
haha @Kipperoo I hope you don't have a crazy birth either! We tend to see craziness the week before and maybe a little during the full moon...pretty sure it is all coincidence, but who knows?!
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
Re: Randoms and Questions 1.23 - 1.29
I know there were a lot of stitches involved. Like 30 total.
Pushed on my back, no massage or oils.
Episiotomy is like my greatest fear going forward. Recovery was horrific for me. I couldn't sit for days and ended up in the ER about a week later with infected stitches. Thankfully I got narcotic pain relief at that point.
Both tkmes this pregnancy they had this nest thing I laid belly down on. It has divots for your boobs and belly and it's under the fitted sheet. When you lay on the table you have to nudgenit around to get the holes in the right places for your bits but it gets comfy quickly. Also when they do the face up portion when you lay on your back they incline the table. I like a good firm massage to work things out and was able to get just that.
The one I had last pregnancy they had a billion pillows and set me up on my side and I didn't like that as much. It was more uncomfortable and I kind of felt the position made it harder for them to really work on muscles, I felt like they pet me for an hour.
May '17 labor memes
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
Prenatal massages are awesome, especially if they have the setup so you can lay on your belly
But, I take mine off every night before I sleep which I notice helps. I don't have to worry about waking up and one day they are stuck from my fingers swelling over night!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
#1 DD Aug 2014 @39weeks via CS
#2 Due May 2,2017 hopeful VBAC
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
#1 DD Aug 2014 @39weeks via CS
#2 Due May 2,2017 hopeful VBAC
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
#1 DD Aug 2014 @39weeks via CS
#2 Due May 2,2017 hopeful VBAC
But like @NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot said, safe install is the most important. So IF you can get a safe install with infant in middle and older LO on drivers side then I would do that. But remember, you can't share latches with two car seats and often the middle seat doesn't have their own latch system so you would need to use the belt install, which is just as safe if you can get a tight install!
If you can't use middle seat, then infant on drivers side and older child on passenger side. This is the install we have done and will do.
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
My sweet BIL did get me a deep tissue pregnancy massage for Christmas that he did a lot of research on. I'm saving that for after I finish traveling for work and will see how that one goes.
#1 DD Aug 2014 @39weeks via CS
#2 Due May 2,2017 hopeful VBAC
LATCH is convenient but it does have low weight limits. Once we got the convertible seat we had to switch to a seatbelt install anyway.
I think the buggest factor is definitely where you can go a good install because this will totally vary from car to car based on the shape of the seat it's installed on.
And FWIW I think climbing into the car to put a kid in the middle seat is a huge pain. Some people don't mind it but it's something to consider.
May '17 labor memes
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
I have my son RF in the center and I don't find it to be a pain at all, you get to sit down while strapping them in.
I wore some inexpensive band I found on amazon after my last birth and I didn't find it very comfortable. It was helpful to wear when I went on walks right after the baby was born and you feel like your organs are jiggling around in your loose body lol. Such a weird feeling.
oh and no valentines plans here... I work full time and I have such mom guilt about it that I never want to spend any extra time away from DS. If my husband cooked me dinner AND cleaned it up then we snuggled, that would be all the valentines day festivities I need.
https://www.target.com/p/maidenform-self-expressions-women-s-suddenly-skinny-tailored-cami-489/-/A-12912020
However, I believe most FF-ing requires something (a head rest or top tether?) which most middle seats don't have, so you'd have to be outboard. Phew! Does that all make sense? I'm kind of a car seat nazi and currently OBSESSED with the CSFTL group.
I'm pretty positive my Jeep doesn't have latches for the middle so we will try seatbelt install there. If that install isn't great then I'll do behind the passenger seat using the latch system. H's car pretty sure has middle latch so I'm hoping that is what we will do there.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
Whenever this happens my boss checks if it is a full moon or the week before (I laugh every time) and it turns out is is a week and a half from the full moon...if its already crazy, I can only imagine what the next week or so will bring! Ugh...
p.s. not sure I fully buy into the full moon deal, but it seems to happen every time like clockwork! So, I'm listening to rock-a-bye baby lullabies lol my husband downloaded them at home so I thought I'd listen to them at work too (on amazon music).
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17