Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Weekly Randoms (1/23)
i know a lot of you are bachelor fans. I went to college with Rachel, the girl who got the first impression rose. I am watching for the first time tonight, so I have no idea if she's even still on.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
I haven't watched the bachelor in like 10years. It was quite interesting tonight to see nothing has changed.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
eta - I also like Rachel and think she seems pretty normal
I have a really random question.. anyone have any good tips or tricks for getting a splinter out of a child's foot who has a complete meltdown every time you try to go near it?
Anyhow, I remember in the early days of breastfeeding my son, if I didn't eat a ton of calories, my body didn't make any milk.
My constipation has been better with drinking tons of water, eating kiwis, celery (with peanut butter & raisins), raisin bran, Kashi chocolate chip chia bars, Kind raspberry chia bars, dried apricots (but I don't like them) and pea pods. Also I take Colace 3 times a day.
the menu @FreshBakedBrownies suggests sounds great for your milk. I also tried a Guinness last night to see if there was anything to it. First day pumping, and I got enough for a feed in two hours. No proof, but I feel like it helped. And we don't even have "real" Guinness here, and you've got it practically in your own backyard. Lucky lady!
that suggestion is half joke, because I'm sure the last thing you feel like is sitting down for a pint...
please check in in with us again soon. Don't feel pressure to pretend that you're feeling better if you're not. If you still feel awful, tell us that! But I'm sure I'm not the only one over here on this 'side of the pond' thinking of you and wishing you well.
Sometimes i think if i just soldier on and tell myself i feel better that i will be and sometimes that works but sometimes i just need to give in and rest. Its weird cause it kind of comes in waves, im doing well and then just crash.
To be honest im kind if thinking that im happy enough formula feeding cora now, initially i would have liked to have been able to give her the health benefits that come with it and the feeling of failure wasnt nice but as long as she is feeding and content im happy enough. Its just convincing my husband that this is ok as he was really pushing for breast feeding for the health benefits & is still holding onto that a little as we havnt had a proper conversation about it yet as i just havnt had the engery for the potential argument. I did have serious words with him on friday though, as when he registered cora with the gp he also requested a script for me for a drug which aids milk production without talking to me about it. Whilst he meant well and just wants the best for cora, ive been very clear going forward that he does not make decisions for me or about my body and i will not be taking the drugs and i told the dr that yesterday at my appointment too. Sometimes being married to a dr has its downfalls too! But then hes been so great in every other way possible too so meh.
remember that while breast milk is awesome for babies, fed is best. If you need to use formula right now, and that gives you some peace of mind, I bet the stress reduction could only help your milk supply. Stress is a major inhibitor to lactation, and I can't believe your GP hubby isn't being more sensitive to that. If you formula feed for now to ensure Cora is fed, and keep pumping on the side just to keep the stimulation up, you may turn a corner. Or you may not and say 'eff this, my baby needs me happy, and breastfeeding is making me miserable.' Whatever you do, your husband should be supporting that and putting aside some (limited) literature that points to (small) benefits. He knows clinically that babies need coping moms before they need breast milk. I bet his emotions are clouding things for him right now.
also, ps, never been a Guinness fan either. The one last night was the best I'd ever tasted. Must be the anemia. I envy you being only 2 hours from the real thing!!
With my twins, feeling like a failure should have been a huge red flag for PPD. Please continuing reaching out, and if things don't feel better, talk to your doctor about how you feel. Creepy hugs heading your way.
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
Nothing to do with feeding or anything, but I wanted to let you know that you were on my mind last night. I concocted a little fantasy about our little birthday twins meeting someday. I wrote my Masters thesis on an Irish poet (Eavan Boland) and my husband has long harboured a fantasy of me telling the school I teach at to take their shitty contract and shove it, and my applying to do my PhD in Dublin. He has looked into the GP licence reciprocity between Ireland and Canada and it's quite good, so he could easily practice.
So, in my head last night, we did! We moved outside of Dublin because the rents are so high and I want Theo to have space to play, and the PhD program just requires weekly meetings with my supervisor. And at the local playground, I noticed another young family with a little girl who looks just about Theo's age... and it turns out it's you! The laughter! The coincidence! They get along great! They laugh and play!
But then, sadly, one day we have to return to Canada. Our two littles give each other sweet little grubby hugs (in my daydream, they're both about 4). And we head back to Canada, though you and I stay in touch via email.
THEN flash forward to when young Theo is 20. He decides he wants to study abroad! He has looked at the photos from our time in Ireland many times! So he applies for an exchange with UC Dublin. While there he meets a lovely redhead girl (I don't know why she's a redhead... she looks a little like @LivingLaVidaGinger actually).... hey presto, they fall in love.
I swear I'm not creepy, I just daydream when I can't sleep. And I thought it might cheer you up?
*Also, for anyone who is interested, I did my thesis on a collection of Boland poems all about motherhood. It's called Night Feed, and if there are any poetry fans out there, I highly recommend trying to track it down. Heck, just PM me and I'll send you a PDF of it... it had a pretty limited print run, so it's hard to find, but her poems about being a new mother are sooo lovely, even without being a new mom one's self...
im always encouraging everyone to visit & come live in ireland, whilst were in the north & atm with the whole brexit thing its a little uncertain but generally its a really great place to live & bring up children. Although dublin is ridiculously expensive. Without being creepy, do it & come be my friend!
I'll def look up the poems, they sound lovely!
and I will update my mental picture of Cora appropriately!
@chef'swift thinking of you guys and hoping y'all get to go home and enjoy your little man in the comfort of your home! Sending good vibes!
On a random note, I picked up DS from his grandmas after my NST and brought him to our local coffee shop that has a cute little kids area. He's having a blast playing on the chalkboard and sitting at the little kid's table drinking his milk. I'm enjoying having the afternoon with him, and am just enjoying watching him play. I can't believe my little baby is so big, and I'm getting a bit emotional thinking that this will be one of our last weeks with just the two of us.
My niece was in the NICU for 103 days, and the hospital's protocol was a 5-day count to get released. My sister was convinced she would have at least one Brady episode that would reset the clock, since she had a rough go in the NICU and was still on oxygen, but she made it on her first try! Try not to think about it too much (I know that is SO not easy) - one more day and you'll be home!
Also I was reading about that new show The Good Place, which is awesome, and which was also created by the creator of PnR, Mike Schur. In reading about TGP, I also learned that said creator played Mose on The Office. MIND BLOWN FOREVER.
@foxrosy Labor Buddy, I am SO there with you in the "wtf am i doing" boat. I'm a FTM but I keep thinking "how the f*ck am i going to do with a baby???"
the finale was phenomenal!
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14