Hang in there @Janefelicity! The early days are a mind eff. You are doing the best you can and that's awesome. It does and will get better. Continue to come here to unload! If you need, I'm a PM away. Hugs!!!
i actually have a fun random instead of the constant bitching that seems to be the only thing i am capable of these days.
i know a lot of you are bachelor fans. I went to college with Rachel, the girl who got the first impression rose. I am watching for the first time tonight, so I have no idea if she's even still on.
Me: 36, H: 37 FTM, 2 Furbabies married 03/17/07 lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC due: 2/15/17
@krob I don't watch the show but the girl a couple seasons ago that had two little girls is friends with one of my best friends. She's made so much money from being there
Girls even just writing that was tough, im not usually the type to ask for help & i think that not being in charge and control has been most difficult for me. And your respsonses have genuinely made me tear up, youse are all great & i really appreciate it!
I'm the same exact way. It's not like I think "Oh I don't need to ask for help", it's just kind of a mentality that makes it to where I need to go, go, go. It's hard to slow down and give ourselves the grace we need (or ask for things we need). You are doing an amazing job though and Cora is so lucky to have you and your spouse for parents. You've been given quite a handful, but you've taken it all in stride. I really hope things look up for you soon and you start to feel better. Hugs mama, it's rough!
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
@janefelicity, I hope you're doing okay, I'll be thinking of you! I'm here anytime you need to talk
I have a really random question.. anyone have any good tips or tricks for getting a splinter out of a child's foot who has a complete meltdown every time you try to go near it?
@Janefelicity hugs! The constipation, not feeling like eating and milk not coming in could be all related. I've had awful constipation this whole pregnancy. I can barely eat when it feels like anything that goes in just sits there! Anyhow, I remember in the early days of breastfeeding my son, if I didn't eat a ton of calories, my body didn't make any milk. My constipation has been better with drinking tons of water, eating kiwis, celery (with peanut butter & raisins), raisin bran, Kashi chocolate chip chia bars, Kind raspberry chia bars, dried apricots (but I don't like them) and pea pods. Also I take Colace 3 times a day.
@Janefelicity I just saw somewhere else that your kiddo is a week old today. Somehow I missed that we both went into labour AND gave birth on the same day. Theo and Cora are birthday twins!
the menu @FreshBakedBrownies suggests sounds great for your milk. I also tried a Guinness last night to see if there was anything to it. First day pumping, and I got enough for a feed in two hours. No proof, but I feel like it helped. And we don't even have "real" Guinness here, and you've got it practically in your own backyard. Lucky lady!
that suggestion is half joke, because I'm sure the last thing you feel like is sitting down for a pint...
please check in in with us again soon. Don't feel pressure to pretend that you're feeling better if you're not. If you still feel awful, tell us that! But I'm sure I'm not the only one over here on this 'side of the pond' thinking of you and wishing you well.
Lol at the guinness @poetryandoceans but also eeeewwwwww! Personally im not a fan, i cant take the taste of it at all, though it is supposed to be better the closer to home it is & we're only 2 hours up the road from dublin. It would probably help with the anemia aswell! Sometimes i think if i just soldier on and tell myself i feel better that i will be and sometimes that works but sometimes i just need to give in and rest. Its weird cause it kind of comes in waves, im doing well and then just crash. To be honest im kind if thinking that im happy enough formula feeding cora now, initially i would have liked to have been able to give her the health benefits that come with it and the feeling of failure wasnt nice but as long as she is feeding and content im happy enough. Its just convincing my husband that this is ok as he was really pushing for breast feeding for the health benefits & is still holding onto that a little as we havnt had a proper conversation about it yet as i just havnt had the engery for the potential argument. I did have serious words with him on friday though, as when he registered cora with the gp he also requested a script for me for a drug which aids milk production without talking to me about it. Whilst he meant well and just wants the best for cora, ive been very clear going forward that he does not make decisions for me or about my body and i will not be taking the drugs and i told the dr that yesterday at my appointment too. Sometimes being married to a dr has its downfalls too! But then hes been so great in every other way possible too so meh.
@Janefelicity ooooh, major side eyes to your husband for the backseat doctoring and not talking with you about it. Very uncool.
remember that while breast milk is awesome for babies, fed is best. If you need to use formula right now, and that gives you some peace of mind, I bet the stress reduction could only help your milk supply. Stress is a major inhibitor to lactation, and I can't believe your GP hubby isn't being more sensitive to that. If you formula feed for now to ensure Cora is fed, and keep pumping on the side just to keep the stimulation up, you may turn a corner. Or you may not and say 'eff this, my baby needs me happy, and breastfeeding is making me miserable.' Whatever you do, your husband should be supporting that and putting aside some (limited) literature that points to (small) benefits. He knows clinically that babies need coping moms before they need breast milk. I bet his emotions are clouding things for him right now.
also, ps, never been a Guinness fan either. The one last night was the best I'd ever tasted. Must be the anemia. I envy you being only 2 hours from the real thing!!
Oh my @Janefelicity of course there's nothing wrong with formula feeding if that's what you want to do! I hope your husband supports you better in whatever you decide!
@NiceyMeany I just got to the point in my Parks and Rec rewatch where your SN is coined. I thought you'd created it to describe yourself! Though this is my third PAR rewatch of the pregnancy it's the first one where I've kept going to the last season because of the amount of crying that'll happen when I hit the finale. Now I'm too grouchy to cry.
@janefelicity - for DS1, I quit pumping after not producing much. I felt like a failure, but within a few days, I was a much happier momma and that is what my family needed most. DS1 went from a 5lb preemie to a happy, healthy, 50th percentile 2yo. Fed is best!
@Janefelicity everyone else has covered it so I'm just going to send you and Cora some hugs! I know you are exhausted and feel rubbish right now. But try to talk to your H. Can u say to him "I cant have a conversation or argument because I just don't have the emotional energy. But I feel...." and just tell him how you're feeling?
@janefelicity - for DS1, I quit pumping after not producing much. I felt like a failure, but within a few days, I was a much happier momma and that is what my family needed most. DS1 went from a 5lb preemie to a happy, healthy, 50th percentile 2yo. Fed is best!
This @Janefelicity Fed is best! I was in the same situation with my DS1 and it bothered me for a few weeks, but it was the best decision for us. I hope things start looking up! We are all here for you.
@Janefelicity, I am so sorry you are feeling so down. Fed is best, and a happy mommy is best. If YOU want to continue, reach out to any available resources. It can get better.
With my twins, feeling like a failure should have been a huge red flag for PPD. Please continuing reaching out, and if things don't feel better, talk to your doctor about how you feel. Creepy hugs heading your way.
Married - 7/29/06 Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 Mia - 6/16/11 Surprise! due 2/23/17
Nothing to do with feeding or anything, but I wanted to let you know that you were on my mind last night. I concocted a little fantasy about our little birthday twins meeting someday. I wrote my Masters thesis on an Irish poet (Eavan Boland) and my husband has long harboured a fantasy of me telling the school I teach at to take their shitty contract and shove it, and my applying to do my PhD in Dublin. He has looked into the GP licence reciprocity between Ireland and Canada and it's quite good, so he could easily practice.
So, in my head last night, we did! We moved outside of Dublin because the rents are so high and I want Theo to have space to play, and the PhD program just requires weekly meetings with my supervisor. And at the local playground, I noticed another young family with a little girl who looks just about Theo's age... and it turns out it's you! The laughter! The coincidence! They get along great! They laugh and play!
But then, sadly, one day we have to return to Canada. Our two littles give each other sweet little grubby hugs (in my daydream, they're both about 4). And we head back to Canada, though you and I stay in touch via email.
THEN flash forward to when young Theo is 20. He decides he wants to study abroad! He has looked at the photos from our time in Ireland many times! So he applies for an exchange with UC Dublin. While there he meets a lovely redhead girl (I don't know why she's a redhead... she looks a little like @LivingLaVidaGinger actually).... hey presto, they fall in love.
I swear I'm not creepy, I just daydream when I can't sleep. And I thought it might cheer you up?
*Also, for anyone who is interested, I did my thesis on a collection of Boland poems all about motherhood. It's called Night Feed, and if there are any poetry fans out there, I highly recommend trying to track it down. Heck, just PM me and I'll send you a PDF of it... it had a pretty limited print run, so it's hard to find, but her poems about being a new mother are sooo lovely, even without being a new mom one's self...
@poetryandoceans this has really cheered me up whilst sitting in the hospital. Few little detail changes about cora, her hair is dark but looks like its had fancy highlights and is getting blonder & her daddy says that she isnt allowed anywhere near boys ever and that him and her granda are the only men allowed in her life! Lol im always encouraging everyone to visit & come live in ireland, whilst were in the north & atm with the whole brexit thing its a little uncertain but generally its a really great place to live & bring up children. Although dublin is ridiculously expensive. Without being creepy, do it & come be my friend! I'll def look up the poems, they sound lovely!
@Janefelicity good!! Then my mission was accomplished. I always forget how geographically small Europe is. When you said you were 2 hours from the Dublin Guinness factory, I figured, oh you know outer suburbs of the city. Forgot that would put you pretty far north! A friend of mine who lives in France says 'in Europe 100 km is a long way, while in North America 100 years is a long time...'
and I will update my mental picture of Cora appropriately!
@tentacular I'm calling you out! Specifically, I'm wondering if you're okay? You haven't been around, and I know you haven't been checking your PMs, because my labour update got lost somewhere in the ether, which is why I'm posting on the randoms. Please let us know you're okay; or alternatively, has anyone chatted with her lately? I'm feeling like a little bit of a lazy labour buddy, because I don't have any off bump way of reaching her.
FX for us please, ladies. Harrison has had no critical events for 48 hours and his feeds are going amazingly, so if he can keep it up today and tonight then we can finally leave the NICU tomorrow. I know lots of babies reach this point then have a Brady or desat that restarts the clock, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up yet. But we are so ready to be home as a family after 42 days in the hospital between my 17 days of hospital bed rest and 25 days so far in the NICU.
@Janefelicity everyone else has pretty much covered my thoughts on feeding, but I wanted to send a digital hug too!
@chef'swift thinking of you guys and hoping y'all get to go home and enjoy your little man in the comfort of your home! Sending good vibes!
On a random note, I picked up DS from his grandmas after my NST and brought him to our local coffee shop that has a cute little kids area. He's having a blast playing on the chalkboard and sitting at the little kid's table drinking his milk. I'm enjoying having the afternoon with him, and am just enjoying watching him play. I can't believe my little baby is so big, and I'm getting a bit emotional thinking that this will be one of our last weeks with just the two of us.
Thinking good thoughts for you @chef'swife! You're on a 3-day count?
My niece was in the NICU for 103 days, and the hospital's protocol was a 5-day count to get released. My sister was convinced she would have at least one Brady episode that would reset the clock, since she had a rough go in the NICU and was still on oxygen, but she made it on her first try! Try not to think about it too much (I know that is SO not easy) - one more day and you'll be home!
@Janefelicity everyone else has pretty much covered my thoughts on feeding, but I wanted to send a digital hug too!
@chef'swift thinking of you guys and hoping y'all get to go home and enjoy your little man in the comfort of your home! Sending good vibes!
On a random note, I picked up DS from his grandmas after my NST and brought him to our local coffee shop that has a cute little kids area. He's having a blast playing on the chalkboard and sitting at the little kid's table drinking his milk. I'm enjoying having the afternoon with him, and am just enjoying watching him play. I can't believe my little baby is so big, and I'm getting a bit emotional thinking that this will be one of our last weeks with just the two of us.
I cried when I was getting close to due date with our 2nd. The crazy emotions we go through when adding a new baby is unbelievable. I had actually called my mom, (and she had 5 of us kids), but she said she went through all the same emotions every single time she got pregnant again. I try to think about that whenever I get weepy about things changing.
I've been experiencing a lot of WTF did I get myself into anxiety. I met with a daycare center I think I'll go with today. I'd prefer in home, but several don't have openings and the hours just don't work for my new job schedule. My little guy has really been testing my patience and I worry if it's because he can sense the changes happening. I'm just so overwhelmed with physical and mental feelings!
@Xstatic3333 bahahaha I'm more of a meany with a tiny bit of nicey. We are rewatching too! And we just got to Mona Lisa's introduction. Which. You know how I feel about that.
Also I was reading about that new show The Good Place, which is awesome, and which was also created by the creator of PnR, Mike Schur. In reading about TGP, I also learned that said creator played Mose on The Office. MIND BLOWN FOREVER.
Guys, have you seen some of the pregnancy suggested searches on google? My husband typed in "I'm pregnant and my" and it started suggesting all sorts of hilarious things. One of them was "vigina is killing me". How many pregnant women are misspelling vagina?! Another was "poop is green". Glad I've missed that particular symptom...
Oooo @NiceyMeany we LOVE The Good Place! Everybody please watch it. I am very nervous it won't get renewed, which would be extremely disappointing with how they left things.
@foxrosy Labor Buddy, I am SO there with you in the "wtf am i doing" boat. I'm a FTM but I keep thinking "how the f*ck am i going to do with a baby???"
+ 1 on the Good Place!! H and I watched it every week and we're so disappointed that if renewed it'll only come back in September the finale was phenomenal!
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
Re: Weekly Randoms (1/23)
i know a lot of you are bachelor fans. I went to college with Rachel, the girl who got the first impression rose. I am watching for the first time tonight, so I have no idea if she's even still on.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
I haven't watched the bachelor in like 10years. It was quite interesting tonight to see nothing has changed.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
eta - I also like Rachel and think she seems pretty normal
I have a really random question.. anyone have any good tips or tricks for getting a splinter out of a child's foot who has a complete meltdown every time you try to go near it?
Anyhow, I remember in the early days of breastfeeding my son, if I didn't eat a ton of calories, my body didn't make any milk.
My constipation has been better with drinking tons of water, eating kiwis, celery (with peanut butter & raisins), raisin bran, Kashi chocolate chip chia bars, Kind raspberry chia bars, dried apricots (but I don't like them) and pea pods. Also I take Colace 3 times a day.
the menu @FreshBakedBrownies suggests sounds great for your milk. I also tried a Guinness last night to see if there was anything to it. First day pumping, and I got enough for a feed in two hours. No proof, but I feel like it helped. And we don't even have "real" Guinness here, and you've got it practically in your own backyard. Lucky lady!
that suggestion is half joke, because I'm sure the last thing you feel like is sitting down for a pint...
please check in in with us again soon. Don't feel pressure to pretend that you're feeling better if you're not. If you still feel awful, tell us that! But I'm sure I'm not the only one over here on this 'side of the pond' thinking of you and wishing you well.
Sometimes i think if i just soldier on and tell myself i feel better that i will be and sometimes that works but sometimes i just need to give in and rest. Its weird cause it kind of comes in waves, im doing well and then just crash.
To be honest im kind if thinking that im happy enough formula feeding cora now, initially i would have liked to have been able to give her the health benefits that come with it and the feeling of failure wasnt nice but as long as she is feeding and content im happy enough. Its just convincing my husband that this is ok as he was really pushing for breast feeding for the health benefits & is still holding onto that a little as we havnt had a proper conversation about it yet as i just havnt had the engery for the potential argument. I did have serious words with him on friday though, as when he registered cora with the gp he also requested a script for me for a drug which aids milk production without talking to me about it. Whilst he meant well and just wants the best for cora, ive been very clear going forward that he does not make decisions for me or about my body and i will not be taking the drugs and i told the dr that yesterday at my appointment too. Sometimes being married to a dr has its downfalls too! But then hes been so great in every other way possible too so meh.
remember that while breast milk is awesome for babies, fed is best. If you need to use formula right now, and that gives you some peace of mind, I bet the stress reduction could only help your milk supply. Stress is a major inhibitor to lactation, and I can't believe your GP hubby isn't being more sensitive to that. If you formula feed for now to ensure Cora is fed, and keep pumping on the side just to keep the stimulation up, you may turn a corner. Or you may not and say 'eff this, my baby needs me happy, and breastfeeding is making me miserable.' Whatever you do, your husband should be supporting that and putting aside some (limited) literature that points to (small) benefits. He knows clinically that babies need coping moms before they need breast milk. I bet his emotions are clouding things for him right now.
also, ps, never been a Guinness fan either. The one last night was the best I'd ever tasted. Must be the anemia. I envy you being only 2 hours from the real thing!!
With my twins, feeling like a failure should have been a huge red flag for PPD. Please continuing reaching out, and if things don't feel better, talk to your doctor about how you feel. Creepy hugs heading your way.
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
Nothing to do with feeding or anything, but I wanted to let you know that you were on my mind last night. I concocted a little fantasy about our little birthday twins meeting someday. I wrote my Masters thesis on an Irish poet (Eavan Boland) and my husband has long harboured a fantasy of me telling the school I teach at to take their shitty contract and shove it, and my applying to do my PhD in Dublin. He has looked into the GP licence reciprocity between Ireland and Canada and it's quite good, so he could easily practice.
So, in my head last night, we did! We moved outside of Dublin because the rents are so high and I want Theo to have space to play, and the PhD program just requires weekly meetings with my supervisor. And at the local playground, I noticed another young family with a little girl who looks just about Theo's age... and it turns out it's you! The laughter! The coincidence! They get along great! They laugh and play!
But then, sadly, one day we have to return to Canada. Our two littles give each other sweet little grubby hugs (in my daydream, they're both about 4). And we head back to Canada, though you and I stay in touch via email.
THEN flash forward to when young Theo is 20. He decides he wants to study abroad! He has looked at the photos from our time in Ireland many times! So he applies for an exchange with UC Dublin. While there he meets a lovely redhead girl (I don't know why she's a redhead... she looks a little like @LivingLaVidaGinger actually).... hey presto, they fall in love.
I swear I'm not creepy, I just daydream when I can't sleep. And I thought it might cheer you up?
*Also, for anyone who is interested, I did my thesis on a collection of Boland poems all about motherhood. It's called Night Feed, and if there are any poetry fans out there, I highly recommend trying to track it down. Heck, just PM me and I'll send you a PDF of it... it had a pretty limited print run, so it's hard to find, but her poems about being a new mother are sooo lovely, even without being a new mom one's self...
im always encouraging everyone to visit & come live in ireland, whilst were in the north & atm with the whole brexit thing its a little uncertain but generally its a really great place to live & bring up children. Although dublin is ridiculously expensive. Without being creepy, do it & come be my friend!
I'll def look up the poems, they sound lovely!
and I will update my mental picture of Cora appropriately!
@chef'swift thinking of you guys and hoping y'all get to go home and enjoy your little man in the comfort of your home! Sending good vibes!
On a random note, I picked up DS from his grandmas after my NST and brought him to our local coffee shop that has a cute little kids area. He's having a blast playing on the chalkboard and sitting at the little kid's table drinking his milk. I'm enjoying having the afternoon with him, and am just enjoying watching him play. I can't believe my little baby is so big, and I'm getting a bit emotional thinking that this will be one of our last weeks with just the two of us.
My niece was in the NICU for 103 days, and the hospital's protocol was a 5-day count to get released. My sister was convinced she would have at least one Brady episode that would reset the clock, since she had a rough go in the NICU and was still on oxygen, but she made it on her first try! Try not to think about it too much (I know that is SO not easy) - one more day and you'll be home!
Also I was reading about that new show The Good Place, which is awesome, and which was also created by the creator of PnR, Mike Schur. In reading about TGP, I also learned that said creator played Mose on The Office. MIND BLOWN FOREVER.
@foxrosy Labor Buddy, I am SO there with you in the "wtf am i doing" boat. I'm a FTM but I keep thinking "how the f*ck am i going to do with a baby???"
the finale was phenomenal!
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14