@emilyalso I already have my YL oils ordered, purchased, and ready to be packed. Good thought.
Kind of along the same thought, for any one doing a water birth or who has done one/knows about them, DH was watching videos and they were using some kind of tea in the tub after the baby was born. Any one know what that's all about? (Google isn't helping me find out right now.)
I don't want to post anything in the birth stories thread because I'm enjoying the purity of it, but I have a birth related question for STMs! A handful of you mentioned second degree tears and I'm curious about what I can do to prevent it. I know sometimes it's just gonna happen but for now I am giving myself hope.
So my questions are:
did you tear? how many stitches? in what position did you push? did you do perineal massage? did you use any oils to help the baby 'glide' out?
sorry if the massage question is TMI. I've only hear of the using oil to assist in north once or twice and not even sure if the hospital would allow it or what kind of oil you would use, but curious to hear if anyone has.
Thank you everyone for the suggestions on what else to eat...I seriously forgot there would be other options because I do love sushi, but it's one of those few foods that I feel off about eating while pregnant. @laurapalmier@Kipperoo I'm debating what I want to do, but I worry about using pregnancy as an excuse because I hate seeming like I'm just coming up with excuses...I think it's because I'm one of the only moms in the group
@OmegaRose3 I've totally been eating the cooked sushi rolls! I just ask for them to be brought out on separate plates (some of those restaurants are family style). I love sushi!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
@laurapalmier I had a 2nd degree tear (both times). I have no idea how many stitches that is, they just mention what level tear. And I was too busy snuggling with a newborn to care how many! Both times I had an epidural, so I pushed in the typical on your back, leg in stirrups. I didn't do any massage, but my nurses and OB were really good at massaging/stretching while I was doing practice pushing. I tried really hard to pause when the doctor told me to so he could do some more stretching as the baby glides out.
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Speaking of Amazon Completion Boxes... did it automatically show after you made a purchase that you could order the box? All of my other check marks or done, but it's still showing I'm missing my purchase even though I just ordered a car seat....
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
I don't want to post anything in the birth stories thread because I'm enjoying the purity of it, but I have a birth related question for STMs! A handful of you mentioned second degree tears and I'm curious about what I can do to prevent it. I know sometimes it's just gonna happen but for now I am giving myself hope.
So my questions are:
did you tear? how many stitches? in what position did you push? did you do perineal massage? did you use any oils to help the baby 'glide' out?
sorry if the massage question is TMI. I've only hear of the using oil to assist in north once or twice and not even sure if the hospital would allow it or what kind of oil you would use, but curious to hear if anyone has.
Yes. I think I was a third degree or a bad second? I'm not sure. As PP said, if they told me I have no idea. They just tell you the degree. I was on my back. No to perineal massage or oils.
ETA: it's not like a horror movie and you feel yourself tearing. I asked my nurse at a point and she said there was already some tearing. After they get the placenta out of you they stitch you up, but your just making sure baby has a good score and is perfect. This will sound weird but it didn't hurt while I was sitting or standing, but it hurt to go from sitting to standing/standing to sitting. That also could have been from pushing so long. I know 4th degree can be just horrible, but I think that general rare. Most people tear first-second degree.
@laurapalmier No tearing. I had one internal stitch where DD's shoulder caught me coming out. I think she was sunny side up. Had an epi so I pushed on my back. No oils. No idea if there was massage. I was enjoying the epidural too much to notice.
I guess this is FTM ignorance but I had no idea massaging was an option or even something that happened. It sounds kind of horrifying, but at the same time it makes sense why you would do it. Is it something that you request, or something the drs and nurses ask if you want? I think I'm equal parts horrified and intrigued.
I guess this is FTM ignorance but I had no idea massaging was an option or even something that happened. It sounds kind of horrifying, but at the same time it makes sense why you would do it. Is it something that you request, or something the drs and nurses ask if you want? I think I'm equal parts horrified and intrigued.
Haven't you seen Baby Mama?! LOL TBH, I really don't know how it works. I believe you and your spouse can start doing it ahead of time? If so, I'm going for it. Anything to help
@Jen_Shoes I talked with my OB before delivery that I preferred a natural tear over an episiotomy (unless an episiotomy was a lifesaving measurement because baby needed to be out right away) so he discusses with me that he prefers to let moms tear naturally as well and that the nurses automatically will work on stretching/massaging as your pushing. Thats why they also recommend slow and steady pushing, your body will naturally stretch.
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
@h&pmomma - Did you add the item to your registry before you bought it? Has it shipped? I think both of those things have to happen before you can claim the box. Good luck!
Speaking of Amazon Completion Boxes... did it automatically show after you made a purchase that you could order the box? All of my other check marks or done, but it's still showing I'm missing my purchase even though I just ordered a car seat....
once the item ships you can go back and order the box.
Perfect! I wasn't sure if it had to ship first. I guess I'll be patient and wait the 48 hours max lol
Speaking of Amazon shipping, Prime has seriously spoiled me. My Target order is delayed and it's already been 1 week. It seems like forever since I've ordered!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Oh my gosh yes, I remember now. I guess I was so far away from baby making that I didn't retain this lol I told my husband when I got home and he was like yeah, no I'm not helping with that.
@h&pmomma I feel the same way!!!! I had the same issue with the welcome box (I'm impatient) and I ordered a pack and play from target under their deal last night and it won't be here until the 31st. Seems so far away. Used to prime being here within 1-2 days.
@chickyclg ugh, that stinks! I'm sorry! Younger daughter had her first speech therapy appointment today after FINALLY getting all the paperwork sorted between early intervention and the therapist's office. (Her assessment was two months ago.) She's been in developmental therapy, and it's totally different, so she was a bit confused today! Does you little guy act like he likes speech therapy?
@laurapalmier I had some tearing with each girl, and it wasn't really a big deal. I pushed on my back (my girls are tiny and I didn't have to push long. About 20 min with older, 6min with younger.) no massage or oils. I don't recall how many stitches or the number of my tear! It's funny how much gets forgotten!
As PPs said, while getting stitches I was more concerned with how baby was doing to focus on anything else. They did do some kind of local anesthetic for the stitches for me, as I hadn't had an epi. As for recovery, I don't really have a non- tearing recovery to compare it to, but it wasn't that bad. The peri bottle is magical! (I think that's what it's called. The little squirt bottle deal that they give you.). At my 6week check with younger daughter, my OB had to put a little silver nitrate on my scar from the tear, because it was trying to "overheal" and had extra skin growing that didn't need to. That stung like anything for a while, and that was worse that getting the stitches was!
It's really reassuring to hear that tearing isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. That has been the part that mentally scared me the most, but now I'm not too worried about it.
I tore with my first. Like other have said, at the time you have no clue that your tearing. I have no idea how many stitches the put in, I think maybe 5 or 6. I do know that it felt like it was taking awhile. I think they tried to massage and guide the baby out as much as they could. Recovery was a little uncomfortable and I could feel the stitches. I'm more worried about getting another hemorrhoid rather than tearing. Tearing heals relatively quick compared to the hemorrhoid I received! A day after I had the baby I told the midwife that something was wrong and I must have torn open a stitch and she said no honey you have a hemorrhoid. Lol.
I completely agree with @lrwardrop that hemorrhoids are way worse than tears. I had a second degree episiotomy (DS had the cord wrapped all around him and his heart rate was dropping significantly so they made a cut to get him out faster). It wasn't too bad healing-wise, but the hemorrhoids were such a literal pain in the ass.
Luckily it's all relatively short lived. Just be prepared for some discomfort for the first week or so (longer if you need more extensive repairs) so you won't be totally blindsided by it.
Tearing sounds so much for terrifying than it actually is I promise. If you have an epidural you feel nothing. And if your going med free, I hear the "ring of fire" is so much more worse. Peri bottle, Tucks Pads, Dermaplast spray, and the ice packs the nurses make you will be your best friend! And the stool softeners!
Married 03.09.09 Sweet Baby H 12.21.11 Sassy Baby P 03.26.14 Little Brother Due 05.22.17
@Squirtgun He has been in some type of therapy (PT, OT, ST, SST) constantly since he was 2 months (speech since 15 months), so overall he does really well during his appointments, but it seems like every 2-3 months he gets a new speech pathologist and it takes him time to warm up. He has refused to pick up any more signs though and will regress when they push him too hard so its just frustrating.
@chickyclg What is ECI? That sucks they have cancelled so much and haven't made an effort to reschedule.
@luckywife10 My husband read chapters I noted from the books I was reading and skipped to The New Father. At some point we misplaced that book for about a year so it lost its usefulness. oops.
@nda_roxybabe I have done that with the ill fitting tights. Thinking that I could squeeze in still. Makes for a rough day! I also cannot deal with something tight along the bottom of my belly so rolling them down was never an option. I am a dress wearer too and especially love them during pregnancy. I need to breakdown and buy more pair because I currently only have one pair of black tights. Where did you get yours from?
@mspacman34 Adding a camera is a great idea! And totally still a baby item in my book.
@MrsFox2008 How exciting to become a SAHM! Glad you are enjoying it!
@laurapalmier I had a very large headed baby and ended up with two tears (unsure of the degree, but one was worse then the other) and an episiotomy. It was basically a upside down peace sign down there. I was on my back. No massage, but I know the Dr tried to stretch so that I wouldn't rip. Didn't work. There was so much pain located in the area that I feel I was maxed out and unable to distinguish any specific cause. So if I hadn't been told and if it hadn't taken so long to put me back together I probably wouldn't have really noticed. I wasn't about to take a tour of the war zone with a mirror to investigate for myself. I have no idea how many stitches I had, but I know they were inside and out and a good amount. As others said healing from that was a breeze compared to the hemorrhoids. I was not expecting that part of it at all.
@louise_beltcher we use a lot of audiobooks because we both have an hour drive to work. Plus H isn't a huge fan of reading since he has dyslexia, but loves to learn new things so audio really helps him! Sometimes I'll listen to my book while cleaning around the house too
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
I'm using my back pain as an excuse to work from home today, and I don't feel bad about it at all. My boss is crazy understanding because his wife had sciatica during pregnancy - luckily I haven't gotten to that point yet.
I'm also currently wearing my favorite jeans with a hairband tied around the button loop because I missed wearing them so much! Maternity jeans just can't compete.
Me: 29, DH: 31 Married: October 2014 Began TTC: April 2015 BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w) BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w) BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17 BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
thank you everyone for sharing your tearing experience!
I'm not really afraid of the tearing or the pain, I just feel like if there's anything I can do to increase my chances of not tearing, I want to do that. I asked about stitches just because I've heard that standard episiotomies were ~12 stitches so was looking to compare how big everyone's natural tears were to the episiotomy.
I'll definitely be doing the perineal massage/partner will do it for me. @Jen_Shoes I think if you do the massage you start around 34 weeks but you only do it like twice a week for ten minutes each The massage is also good for helping you to learn when your muscles down there are tense and how to consciously relax them, which will help during labour if you are going med-free.
Perineal massage has some good evidence behind it. I did it daily starting from about 34 weeks and it was uncomfortable AF but it made me feel prepared. Ended up having a cesarean so I don't have anecdotal evidence for you but it's not terrible. Use lube and work slowly.
@laurapalmier , I had some slight tearing, but the doctor said it was really minimal. I will say that there is A LOT going on down there in the moments (and days) after child birth, so I couldn't tell you at what point they were stitch vs. doing anything else. And my recovery was painful, but I'd imagine the tearing had little to do with it. I'm sure you're on it, because you seem like a prepper!, but I was really glad to have ice pads when I finally made it home. Again, I don't think that was specific to the tearing, but just general V pain. :-)
@Louise_Belcher I can't stand anything that low either. I like to feel covered, so I actually like full panel maternity jeans. I got these tights in blue and black from Amazon. I'm wearing the blue pair today and ahhhhh, SO much better. I was skipping maroon because I thought mine were still fine, that's the pair I wore yesterday though, so guess I need to get those too? I know we're nearing the end of our tight weather here though.
I wear dresses 97% of the time (I have a large collection, obsession) and since it's "winter" I've been wearing tights every day. I'm running out of tights that fit, I finally caved and bought 2 pair maternity. Well, neither of those matched today's dress, so I went regular. I'm so uncomfortable! They only come half way up my belly which makes it look weird, they're squishing me, and just ughhhh.
Kohls' Vera Wang leggings are high rise and (if you don't get the shaper ones) not squishy! I wear them ALL the time. They're thick, and SUPER comfy. They fit over my belly (get the normal waistband, not the wide one) and I wear them all the time.
DS Born 1/12/13 - Molar Pregnancy 3/2014/D&C 3/2015 - EDD with Baby #2 May 26th, 2017
@nda_roxybabe Thanks for the link! We are still in full swing tights season until into April, so I will be ordering some today! I need to find Maroon as well.
Perineal massage has some good evidence behind it. I did it daily starting from about 34 weeks and it was uncomfortable AF but it made me feel prepared. Ended up having a cesarean so I don't have anecdotal evidence for you but it's not terrible. Use lube and work slowly.
Hmm... Anyone have a good resource (website or whatever) about how to do this?
@starphish18 this site looks the most like the sheet I got from my doc. Note this is really all about stretching, the term massage is super misleading. It's not comfortable!
@Louise_Belcher it's Early Childhood Intervention, I think it is also called other things in other states, but it is a state funded program through IDEA for children from birth- 3 yrs old, the day they turn 3 they age out and generally enroll in the school district under the SPED umbrella.
DS has a speech delay and a slight cognitive delay, and previously had several physical delays but caught up on those not long after he turned 1. He are in the process of having him evaluated for possible a possible autism diagnosis with a sensory processing disorder.
I was a dumb FTM and let my baby scratch the bejeezus out of himself last time. Mittens were a pita and I only just discovered bodysuits with gold over kittens for this kid.
Then only ones im seeing are schmancy $20 a pop ones or Gerber. I remember hating Gerber last time so if anyone remembers where they got decent ones last time holla at your girl.
I was a dumb FTM and let my baby scratch the bejeezus out of himself last time. Mittens were a pita and I only just discovered bodysuits with gold over kittens for this kid.
Then only ones im seeing are schmancy $20 a pop ones or Gerber. I remember hating Gerber last time so if anyone remembers where they got decent ones last time holla at your girl.
Hehe! H&M maybe? I know I've seen some..I'll wrack my brain.
Re: Randoms and Questions 1.23 - 1.29
Kind of along the same thought, for any one doing a water birth or who has done one/knows about them, DH was watching videos and they were using some kind of tea in the tub after the baby was born. Any one know what that's all about? (Google isn't helping me find out right now.)
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
So my questions are:
did you tear?
how many stitches?
in what position did you push?
did you do perineal massage?
did you use any oils to help the baby 'glide' out?
sorry if the massage question is TMI. I've only hear of the using oil to assist in north once or twice and not even sure if the hospital would allow it or what kind of oil you would use, but curious to hear if anyone has.
@laurapalmier @Kipperoo I'm debating what I want to do, but I worry about using pregnancy as an excuse because I hate seeming like I'm just coming up with excuses...I think it's because I'm one of the only moms in the group
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
ETA: it's not like a horror movie and you feel yourself tearing. I asked my nurse at a point and she said there was already some tearing. After they get the placenta out of you they stitch you up, but your just making sure baby has a good score and is perfect. This will sound weird but it didn't hurt while I was sitting or standing, but it hurt to go from sitting to standing/standing to sitting. That also could have been from pushing so long. I know 4th degree can be just horrible, but I think that general rare. Most people tear first-second degree.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
It sounds kind of horrifying, but at the same time it makes sense why you would do it. Is it something that you request, or something the drs and nurses ask if you want? I think I'm equal parts horrified and intrigued.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
@Jen_Shoes
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
May '17 labor memes
Speaking of Amazon shipping, Prime has seriously spoiled me. My Target order is delayed and it's already been 1 week. It seems like forever since I've ordered!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
I told my husband when I got home and he was like yeah, no I'm not helping with that.
@laurapalmier I had some tearing with each girl, and it wasn't really a big deal. I pushed on my back (my girls are tiny and I didn't have to push long. About 20 min with older, 6min with younger.) no massage or oils. I don't recall how many stitches or the number of my tear! It's funny how much gets forgotten!
As PPs said, while getting stitches I was more concerned with how baby was doing to focus on anything else. They did do some kind of local anesthetic for the stitches for me, as I hadn't had an epi. As for recovery, I don't really have a non- tearing recovery to compare it to, but it wasn't that bad. The peri bottle is magical! (I think that's what it's called. The little squirt bottle deal that they give you.). At my 6week check with younger daughter, my OB had to put a little silver nitrate on my scar from the tear, because it was trying to "overheal" and had extra skin growing that didn't need to. That stung like anything for a while, and that was worse that getting the stitches was!
@emilyalso I'm glad you brought up your experience with Target about using the completion discount. It is good to know it will work on so much!
Luckily it's all relatively short lived. Just be prepared for some discomfort for the first week or so (longer if you need more extensive repairs) so you won't be totally blindsided by it.
Peri bottle, Tucks Pads, Dermaplast spray, and the ice packs the nurses make you will be your best friend! And the stool softeners!
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks
@chickyclg What is ECI? That sucks they have cancelled so much and haven't made an effort to reschedule.
@luckywife10 My husband read chapters I noted from the books I was reading and skipped to The New Father. At some point we misplaced that book for about a year so it lost its usefulness. oops.
@nda_roxybabe I have done that with the ill fitting tights. Thinking that I could squeeze in still. Makes for a rough day! I also cannot deal with something tight along the bottom of my belly so rolling them down was never an option. I am a dress wearer too and especially love them during pregnancy. I need to breakdown and buy more pair because I currently only have one pair of black tights. Where did you get yours from?
@mspacman34 Adding a camera is a great idea! And totally still a baby item in my book.
@Kipperoo That is an adorable story!
@jayandaplus Sorry you are sick! Hope you feel better soon!
@BabyMC517 I hadn't thought of listening to a baby book! I am bad about reading, so I am gonna look into that. Thanks for the tip!
@mrsrep123 Hope you pass your glucose test! Those things suck!
@thistlenweeds Congrats!!
@MrsFox2008 How exciting to become a SAHM! Glad you are enjoying it!
@laurapalmier I had a very large headed baby and ended up with two tears (unsure of the degree, but one was worse then the other) and an episiotomy. It was basically a upside down peace sign down there. I was on my back. No massage, but I know the Dr tried to stretch so that I wouldn't rip. Didn't work. There was so much pain located in the area that I feel I was maxed out and unable to distinguish any specific cause. So if I hadn't been told and if it hadn't taken so long to put me back together I probably wouldn't have really noticed. I wasn't about to take a tour of the war zone with a mirror to investigate for myself. I have no idea how many stitches I had, but I know they were inside and out and a good amount. As others said healing from that was a breeze compared to the hemorrhoids. I was not expecting that part of it at all.
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." ~Charlie Chaplin
I'm also currently wearing my favorite jeans with a hairband tied around the button loop because I missed wearing them so much! Maternity jeans just can't compete.
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
I'm not really afraid of the tearing or the pain, I just feel like if there's anything I can do to increase my chances of not tearing, I want to do that. I asked about stitches just because I've heard that standard episiotomies were ~12 stitches so was looking to compare how big everyone's natural tears were to the episiotomy.
I'll definitely be doing the perineal massage/partner will do it for me.
@Jen_Shoes I think if you do the massage you start around 34 weeks but you only do it like twice a week for ten minutes each
The massage is also good for helping you to learn when your muscles down there are tense and how to consciously relax them, which will help during labour if you are going med-free.
May '17 labor memes
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00FN044H2/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/pregnancy/perineal-massage/
May '17 labor memes
DS has a speech delay and a slight cognitive delay, and previously had several physical delays but caught up on those not long after he turned 1. He are in the process of having him evaluated for possible a possible autism diagnosis with a sensory processing disorder.
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks
Then only ones im seeing are schmancy $20 a pop ones or Gerber. I remember hating Gerber last time so if anyone remembers where they got decent ones last time holla at your girl.
May '17 labor memes
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks