Hopefully we can keep this discussion respectful and open minded.
For those that have to or have already faced this decision, what made you decide to circumsise or abstain from circumcision?
Do people feel that it's becoming more common not to circumsize?
Is anyone else in disagreement with their husband over this? (I actually agree with him and all of his reasons for making his choice but am still held back due to culture and tradition.)
Re: Controversial Topic Ahead : Wiener Talk
TTC #1: 3/2016
Me 39 - DH 44
BFP 5/27/16 EDD 1/30/17
DD born 2/3/17
Joke's aside though, we would have if we were having a boy. H is a doctor and has seen quite a few infected uncircumcised penises and UTI's stemming from being uncircumcised. He also showed me quite a few medical studies on why you should circumcise. We (obviously) didn't look into it further when we found out we were having a girl, but we do know that we will circumcise any future boys..unless the medical evidence changes before then.
**Triggers**
Me: 32 DH: 35 Married 10/4/14
TTC #1 May 2015 BFP: July 21, 2015 Stillborn January 8, 2016
TTC #2 April 2016 BFP: June 17, 2016
Baby Girl Shih-Tzu and Baby Boy Boston are my furbabies
I live in Ontario, Canada. It is not that I feel it is becoming less common, it actually is much less common. I don't think that really matters when making a decision.
I have two boys so I have made the decision already.
As much as I love the idea of letting the kid decide later, there is the potential for more serious complications when the procedure is done on an older child or an adult - so I feel like while if we don't do it, he could decide later he wants it done, it's riskier at that point.
This is us as well.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
And I do think the prevalence is important, at least for me. Most of the people we discuss it with are extremely vocal and negative and that's a concern I have.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
When it comes to issues like this, I think it's truly a personal discussion for the parents-to-be and doctor. Besides, I can't imagine how invested other people can be about the state of your child's penis.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
Just a thought on putting it off
Our son had an issue when first born, and was unable to get the circumcision until he was turning 2... it was not fun. He had to be put to sleep which had me a wreck. And having an older fussy toddler who could reach and grab at it was difficult to keep it protected and clean. I'm not sure how it would be for older boys, I would assume it would be awful, so I'm hoping all goes well and can be done in the hospital before leaving.
I think I'd still be firm in not discussing it with them (not saying you should!) Then again, I have family members who have difficulty with boundaries.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
That being said while my dad was dying and I had to help change his diapers I'm glad I didn't have to handle his penis to clean under foreskin because it wasn't already the fucking worst.
@madamerwin, and for anyone else interested, the American Academy of Pediatric position on this issue is "After a comprehensive review of the scientific evidence, the American Academy of Pediatrics found the health benefits of newborn male circumcision outweigh the risks, but the benefits are not great enough to recommend universal newborn circumcision. The AAP policy statement published Monday, August 27, (2012), says the final decision should still be left to parents to make in the context of their religious, ethical and cultural beliefs. " They do recommend that it be covered by insurance, so families who wish to do it have access to the procedure.
From my perspective, benefits do exist...but they are so, so small, once I looked at the actual studies the AAP cited. I'm just not sure. I would like to look more into why circumcision is so much less common in the rest of the world than it is in the U.S. Just anecdotally, I do feel like I have more friends/acquaintances who are choosing not to circ, though all of my close family members who have recently have boys did go ahead with it.
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
Married to my Soul Mate since 09/06/09
edit to add that they could always reaffirm. Wasn't trying to make it sound like their position will change next year or anything. I just know 5 years is a decent amount of time in medical research world, and *possibly* something has changed
BFP May 16th 2016
DD born January 30 2017
Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
However I once dated a guy who was uncircumcised and he said BJ's didn't really feel good (not that they felt bad, he just wasn't into them) cause he had the foreskin, so I'd definitely not want to subject my child to a lifetime of subpar blowjobs from his future significant other.
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
I don't know if this is true across the board. DH is not circumcised and he loves BJ's...the foreskin has never been an issue.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
For what it's worth to all, the 2012 AAP statement is definitely more of an endorsement for circumcision than the previous one, and from what I can tell, American organizations overall (like the CDC) are becoming more pro-circ, though I haven't found any that actually recommend universal circumcision...just that the benefits outweigh the procedure's risks.
Spending a lot of time with wiener on the brain lately...(you know, like usual)
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
Im so disappointed.
He said that there's little to no medical benefit and uncut men have greater sexual pleasure.
So go H for thinking of our non existent future sons sex life
Anyways, we are having a boy. DH is uncircumcised and has never had any issues. Our son will be uncircumcised as well. But ultimately it is DH's decision. I don't have a penis so I feel like I shouldn't get a say. Kind of like no uterus no opinion that we say to our husbands.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
A doctor who has seen the negative effects of circumcision might pull information supporting the opposite position. There are very real risks to having it done. The risk are low, but so is the risk of needing it done later.
How does so much of the world live with uncircumcised penis? How are they not suffering the horrible effects people are afraid of? People get old in Europe and other places where circumcision isn't as popular. In Canada right now about 30% of boys are being circumcised and even when it was more popular it was never close to 100% across the country.
As for a sexual partner preferring a circumcised penis, what would you tell your daughter if her partner didn't like the look of her vulva? What if her labia minora is too big or coloured "wrong"? Would we offer surgery as a young baby so she can have the right look later? or would we tell her to get another partner? People have preferences, that's ok, but if they interfered with a relationship you don't want that person as a partner anyway.
Girls get UTIs, should something be done about them?
As for STIs, condoms offer much more protection than circumcision. (I have issues with what certain studies really mean for where I live)
I would never give the decision over to my husband because he has a penis. I am equally capable of reading, researching and talking to the doctor. He has a penis but his experience is limited to his own penis. I would fully expect his opinion on medical decisions regarding a baby girl.
My sons were not circumcised even though their father was. I looked at the studies and information on both sides. I looked at what the studies really said and how much they meant for where we live. Their father didn't want them done.
I obviously do not agree with circumcision so I like to offer my opinion on certain points. That being said, I don't think parents are wrong for choosing circumcision. They just came to different conclusions than I did.
@blush64 I loved your post. Very well said. I agree totally, minus the fact I am deferring to DH for the ultimate decision, but I'm pretty sure it's going to align with mine, which is not to circumcise.
ETA: I favor education over mutilation. And by that I mean, the main argument I hear for circumcision is that uncircumcised is more likely to get infected or cause UTI. So, the solution is just to cut off the foreskin? I disagree, I think the solution is better personal hygiene/health education.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Me: 37 - H: 39
TTC#1: 01/2016
BFP: 06/18/2016 - EDD: 02/20/2017 - Born: 01/27/2017