Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
mom2adoodle
member
Re: Feeding thread
Is he truly hungry? Is this cluster feeding? Should I offer him a pacifier once he's taken his normal feed? Let him continue eating even if it means spitting up later?
Hes bottle fed breast milk btw.
@mom2adoodle could it be a growth spurt? Are you able to try a slower flow nipple and see if maybe just eating slower works?
Charlotte born at 28w3d due to severe IUGR on 12.24.2012 Merry Christmas!
Missed M/C discovered 12.22.2014 at 8w1d measuring 6w3d
2015 was a year to test strength of both body and character, but it led us to this... BFP 01.26.2016 EDD 9.30.2016
I only track feeds (nursing, pumping, and bottle feeds) and diapers. Oh, and weights. There are other options but I haven't spent any time on them.
There is another thread, Eating Sleeping Pooping, on here and other bumpies had their fave apps. Hope this helps! I'm curious to know which one you settle on.
@jellybiehn About how long into your feeding does she slow her sucking and you try taking her off? My LO does this, but I still hear swallow sounds, so it seems like she's still eating...I try to wait until it seems she really is done eating (either she has passed out and the nipple has fallen out of her mouth, or her sucking/swallowing has slowed down so much, I know she's not continuing to get much out of the feeding session...)
Swaddlng seems to help. I think if her hand goes up toward her mouth she starts wanting to suck again. So wrapping her up snug seems to help. And if I've fed her a bunch and she's still fussy I'll give her a pacifier. Otherwise she will sometimes eat too much and be so full of milk that she spits up.
Thank you for the replies.
I did introduce a soother that does seem to be a good distraction.
I have been pumping a lot more the last day and a half for some needed nipple healing time, but when she is at the breast after feeding there is definitely a fussy period after she has officially nodded off and I remove her. I thought she was still hungry so I would latch her again and she would immediately settle but definitely no sucking or swallowing.
I think I have finally turned a corner on this breastfeeding as we both seem to be doing better this week. I tended to just breastfeed overnight and pump during the day as it was just easier to bottle feed. Last week I found myself quite emotional at 2äm during a feed as I realized I hated it and was actually dreading having to breastfeed that night. Immediately the guilt set in of course. But I kept with it and things are improving.
I am just wondering if any other moms here are dealing with flat or inverted nipples?
I still get pain with the first few sucks as the nipple is being coaxed out, but if I have been good about the latch it goes away quickly. But wow are my nipples still extremely sensitive all day. Is this just normal for breastfeeding? Is it just the inverted nipples? I use the lanolin cream every time and it is helping, but I guess I am just wondering from any STM's if this is something that will eventually subside or something to get used to as long as I'm breastfeeding.
@mom2adoodle Xavier does the same thing with the rooting. I have found wrapping him up or offering a pacifier seems to help. He likes to comfort suck a lot so the pacifier really helps. He loves the tommee tippee pacifier.
Thanks everyone for the replies. I'm just over 2 weeks PP now, good to know it will get better after a while. I definitely think they are slowly getting better at being sucked into outies!
I tried the nipple shields for the first week as my nipples were bruised and cracked/bleeding by the time I came home from the hospital. A little healing time with the shields and paying more attention to the latch and they cleared up. Now I use the lanolin religiously, but I will look into the APNO cream if it gets bad again. It is good to know there are other options.
I keep reading that the nipple shields can decrease your supply, although I can't see how this is even possible. I used it anyway and will again of needed as it was a lifesaver.
https://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&id=76:all-purpose-nipple-ointment-apno&Itemid=17
Me: 30 | DH: 32
Together since 2008 | Married 2012
TTC #1 October 2014
BFP #1 October 2014 | CP #1 October 2014
BFP #2 November 2014 | CP #2 December 2014
BFP #3 June 2015 | MMC at 16 weeks September 2015
BFP #4 January 2016 | EDD September 12, 2016 | Baby Ducks born September 5, 2016
My favorite part about breastfeeding is the faces Olivia makes. There is one, when she is done, where she rolls her head back, stretching out her neck while puffing out her cheeks and lips and raising her eyebrows. She looks like an old man turtle, which cracks me up every time! I love that no one will see these faces but me, haha.
My hubby fed her once a night, she took about 2oz at a time then (2 weeksish old) and now she takes about 4oz. Baby was happy because she didn't have to work hard for a full tummy and I got a little stretch of sleep. And my husband really enjoyed the time together with Victoria.
I totally understand the aversion to using a bottle or a pacifier to avoid nipple confusion and promote good latching. I was hesitant too (and the LC's make it seem like you're doomed if you do it! LOL). This worked for us. I was going crazy from no sleep and my nipples being constantly munched on.
I recommend the $35 Avent manual pump. It comes with a bottle and you need no other supplies. I liked it because I could 100% control the vacuum and where it was touching my sore nipples and I could do it anywhere. No need to set up the electric pump and be by an outlet. I'm sure any pump would be great or you could actually hand express, it's such a small amount of milk at a time.
I no longer need to keep track of the diaper and feed count which is nice. And I can stop waking her to feed so often at night. Tonight went really well so far. We went to bed around 11 (last feed) then I woke her at 2 and then at 6. No cluster feeding, no fussiness. It's been great! I'm hoping we can keep this up! Just trying to decide if I should push my luck and wake her at 9 or if I should stick to 8am wake up. Either way, I'm so happy she's progressing how she is. And is letting us get some sleep. I've been so tired these past few nights. I really needed to catch up on this sleep. Feeling pretty lucky!
Doesnt it feel good? Like all the hard work and sleeplessness and such but when you see those numbers on the scale it's like YAHOO! I HELPED MAKE THAT HAPPEN. WITH MY BOOBS!!!