I clutch my pearls when I see honeymoon registries. I find them to be extremely tacky and distasteful because let's be honest- it's just an offhanded way of asking for money. Which is a big no no.
If I want to give you cash, I will. And I trust that they are mature enough to make a decision to either use that money towards their honeymoon or put it towards something else.
@BumpasaurusRex Lol at sexcation. Honestly, if a honeymoon registry called it that, and every single item listed was just pictures of the beds in various hotels, I might give some money for sheer moxy.
Omg birth photos!! Someone on my FB just posted hers. Of course all in black and white or filtered and artsy. The album has 80 photos and she bragged throughout her pregnancy that she had her birth photographer on call. Nevermind that she's whining they now can't afford diapers or some special formula, because by golly those facebook likes sure make up for it
@BumpasaurusRex Yessssss!! I clutch my (synthetic) pearls at that as well. I'm oft accused of being cynical and old fashioned (probably correct) but I'd rather be those things than a special snowflake that makes demands of how guests give gifts to celebrate a life event.
I realllllly want a birth photographer, but I also want a birth doula and my placenta encapsulated. It isn't budget wise for me to go for all of them. I have some deciding to do.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
First I had it for my wedding, I think it was great because so many of us now live with the person before we marry, I know I was living with my DH for 3 years before we were married so we already had a bunch of the stuff and we were running out of room in our place. We could upgrade some things, but alot of what we had was already nice. Also I think a meaningful memory is alot better than another vase collect dust int he corner. But I do think you have to follow certain rules when doing them. First you have to have a regular register too. That way traditionalist are good too. Second only put extras/experiences on the honeymoon registry not plane tickets or hotels. You should be able to go to the place if no one gets anything off of it. 3rd pick a honeymoon registry that does not take your money so no one else gets a cut. The registry I used is more like a wish list and when they mark it off they would want to pay for that experience like surf lessons they mark it off and then the website had a certificate that you print off to put in the wedding card of what it goes too. This also makes it so people can put in their actually gift cards instead of just money. Like we had people give us their fav restaurants gift card for us to eat on our honeymoon. 4th it was cool when writing thank you cards, I could send pics of us doing it and tell them about the experince like how great it was to go surfing etc.. a lot of our friends thought that was really cool.
@peachesnbean I want a doula bc my Hubs has anxiety and another seasoned person there would help him help me.
I like looking at birth photos of ppl I don't know.....
I highly recommend one for you for that reason! I supported a birth in December and the father asked me if I was a Harry Potter fan, I said I was and he said, "Okay then! You'll get it! Know that part in the 6th book where Harry has to make Dumbledore drink the poison over and over again and it pained Harry, but he had no choice? That's what I felt when you weren't in the room, thats what that whole experience would have been for me without you. You comforted her, much better than I could have and that saved me."
A good doula supports the family, not just the mother.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
@skiingstark But at the end of the day, it's still asking for money and that's my biggest issue. If someone wants to give you money towards your honeymoon, they can do so without being presented with a vacation fund/registry.
It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth because it's not a vase or a stand mixer- it's a vacation. I'd never plan a vacation and then ask people to pay for one of my meals or buy me a couples massage.
FYI, I'm not saying this is what you did, I'm just responding to you in the general sense.
@peachesnbean I want a doula bc my Hubs has anxiety and another seasoned person there would help him help me.
I like looking at birth photos of ppl I don't know.....
I highly recommend one for you for that reason! I supported a birth in December and the father asked me if I was a Harry Potter fan, I said I was and he said, "Okay then! You'll get it! Know that part in the 6th book where Harry has to make Dumbledore drink the poison over and over again and it pained Harry, but he had no choice? That's what I felt when you weren't in the room, thats what that whole experience would have been for me without you. You comforted her, much better than I could have and that saved me."
A good doula supports the family, not just the mother.
SITB
As a huge Harry Potter fan, I support this message and it just makes me want a doula more. :-)
I actually don't see the difference between a household registry or a vacation registry. Cash donation or some random household crap that won't hardly get used? I'll be happy to hand over the cash. Either way, you are asking for stuff.
@Gingersnap the floors are looking great! I'm inspired to get me some new floors now too... I spoke to H about it a while back but he thinks it's best to wait until next summer for financial reasons.
But yeah, you really got me in the mood to do it!
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
@homemake We have three tiny flashlights, the only normal sized one is dead. But we have candles and those battery candles. The extent of my preparations today was pulling them out of the drawer/cabinet, putting an extra pitcher of water in the fridge/bag of ice in the outside freezer, and turning the fridge and freezer all the way up. Oh, and I guess I did a load of laundry.
We are not over preparers.... we are both Fl natives and probably not as worried about hurricanes as we should be.
I totally drank the TK etiquette Kool Aid when planning my wedding so I'd much rather people don't register if they want cash gifts than do a HM registry. That said, my best friend on the planet just did one and I don't plan on holding a grudge about it or anything. Its pretty low on the wedding sins list to me. Now, if there aren't enough seats for everybody or I am waiting until later than 8:30 pm for food (both have happened recently) that's when my grudgy pants come on.
@winchestergirl my husband is a Florida native and I'm not but I was living down in South Florida during Wilma which I cannot believe was 11 years ago.
Hes like why do we need water bottles? I said I don't know, just get them!
You're making me feel better about our lack of preparation.
@gingersnap I LOVE the color!! Really love it! You don't have to answer if you don't want but... do you know how much per square foot you are paying? Like for material and labor? I know we are in different areas but I'm curious and I absolutely LOVE that wood. We are considering having ours done and we have a quote for $8.50 installed, leveled, and product.
I totally drank the TK etiquette Kool Aid when planning my wedding so I'd much rather people don't register if they want cash gifts than do a HM registry. That said, my best friend on the planet just did one and I don't plan on holding a grudge about it or anything. Its pretty low on the wedding sins list to me. Now, if there aren't enough seats for everybody or I am waiting until later than 8:30 pm for food (both have happened recently) that's when my grudgy pants come on.
Same here with TK etiquette Kool Aid. I feel like a honeymoon registry is pretty low on the things that offend me and really my biggest problem with it is that so many of them take like 8% or w/e and I don't want the couple to loose out on that money so we usually give cash or a gift card.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
I just gave my engagement ring to my jeweler to have some diamonds added to the band (the REAL half of the diamonds my grandma gave to me) and I'm so nervous/excited to see the finished product!!
My sister in law was my photographer before, mainly because my husband stinks at photos. She would be in the room regardless, she's a nurse and a loving and calm presence. I am hoping she can come again and do the same.
Married - 7/29/06 Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 Mia - 6/16/11 Surprise! due 2/23/17
I was always told to give about 100$/person and add a bit more for a gift. H and I going to a friend's wedding this weekend and we're giving 250$. I'm thinking that's pretty decent!
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
My toddler bolted away from me tonight. Into a small parking lot. We were eating ice cream at a small patio and she just got up and booked it out of nowhere! Thank every holy thing that there were no cars coming and it was a pretty quiet traffic area - but I have never felt more fear. I chased after her and was able to catch her before she got too far. I was so visibly upset and my husband was like "why weren't you watching her!?" WHAT. I was watching her but I had no idea that was about to happen. I started crying instantly bc how am I going to handle TWO kids.. I'm having a very "I'm a bad mom" day today and that just was the cherry on top..
My toddler bolted away from me tonight. Into a small parking lot. We were eating ice cream at a small patio and she just got up and booked it out of nowhere! Thank every holy thing that there were no cars coming and it was a pretty quiet traffic area - but I have never felt more fear. I chased after her and was able to catch her before she got too far. I was so visibly upset and my husband was like "why weren't you watching her!?" WHAT. I was watching her but I had no idea that was about to happen. I started crying instantly bc how am I going to handle TWO kids.. I'm having a very "I'm a bad mom" day today and that just was the cherry on top..
Ahhh so scary!!!! My DD did that when she was 3, and I still get anxiety remembering it!!
My toddler bolted away from me tonight. Into a small parking lot. We were eating ice cream at a small patio and she just got up and booked it out of nowhere! Thank every holy thing that there were no cars coming and it was a pretty quiet traffic area - but I have never felt more fear. I chased after her and was able to catch her before she got too far. I was so visibly upset and my husband was like "why weren't you watching her!?" WHAT. I was watching her but I had no idea that was about to happen. I started crying instantly bc how am I going to handle TWO kids.. I'm having a very "I'm a bad mom" day today and that just was the cherry on top..
omg you are NOT a bad mom. Your toddler is not solely your responsibility to watch and you can't predict the future. Your husband was probably reacting out of fear but he now owes you a foot massage and a sincere apology. You'll figure out how to work with 2-- and youre not alone. toddlers are the reason people think kids on leashes are a good idea.
@fourPsinapod oh my gosh that's so scary! I'm so glad everything's fine. Toddlers can be so crazy! I can guarantee mine would do something like that. I'm sorry you're having a bad day . Hugs!
Re: Weekly Randoms (8/29)
If I want to give you cash, I will. And I trust that they are mature enough to make a decision to either use that money towards their honeymoon or put it towards something else.
Please don't ask me to fund your sexcation.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
@BumpasaurusRex Yessssss!! I clutch my (synthetic) pearls at that as well. I'm oft accused of being cynical and old fashioned (probably correct) but I'd rather be those things than a special snowflake that makes demands of how guests give gifts to celebrate a life event.
I like looking at birth photos of ppl I don't know.....
First I had it for my wedding, I think it was great because so many of us now live with the person before we marry, I know I was living with my DH for 3 years before we were married so we already had a bunch of the stuff and we were running out of room in our place. We could upgrade some things, but alot of what we had was already nice. Also I think a meaningful memory is alot better than another vase collect dust int he corner. But I do think you have to follow certain rules when doing them. First you have to have a regular register too. That way traditionalist are good too. Second only put extras/experiences on the honeymoon registry not plane tickets or hotels. You should be able to go to the place if no one gets anything off of it. 3rd pick a honeymoon registry that does not take your money so no one else gets a cut. The registry I used is more like a wish list and when they mark it off they would want to pay for that experience like surf lessons they mark it off and then the website had a certificate that you print off to put in the wedding card of what it goes too. This also makes it so people can put in their actually gift cards instead of just money. Like we had people give us their fav restaurants gift card for us to eat on our honeymoon. 4th it was cool when writing thank you cards, I could send pics of us doing it and tell them about the experince like how great it was to go surfing etc.. a lot of our friends thought that was really cool.
Married to my Soul Mate since 09/06/09
A good doula supports the family, not just the mother.
It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth because it's not a vase or a stand mixer- it's a vacation. I'd never plan a vacation and then ask people to pay for one of my meals or buy me a couples massage.
FYI, I'm not saying this is what you did, I'm just responding to you in the general sense.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
Cash donation or some random household crap that won't hardly get used? I'll be happy to hand over the cash.
Either way, you are asking for stuff.
But yeah, you really got me in the mood to do it!
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
We are not over preparers.... we are both Fl natives and probably not as worried about hurricanes as we should be.
Hes like why do we need water bottles? I said I don't know, just get them!
You're making me feel better about our lack of preparation.
ET 9/10 - transferred 1 perfect 5AA blast
7dp5dt BFP ~~ Beta on 9/19 - 77.4 Beta #2 on 9/21 - 357
Low heartbeat on 10/7 86, lower heartbeat on 10/11 76, no heartbeat 10/14/13. D&C 10/15/13
Tests revealed MTHFR c677t mutation, put on Folgard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FET #1 1/6/14 - 4BB blast - BFN
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
I am getting married the day after you give birth!! You and ALL of your members will be invited!
Seriously tho.. very very generous!
ET 9/10 - transferred 1 perfect 5AA blast
7dp5dt BFP ~~ Beta on 9/19 - 77.4 Beta #2 on 9/21 - 357
Low heartbeat on 10/7 86, lower heartbeat on 10/11 76, no heartbeat 10/14/13. D&C 10/15/13
Tests revealed MTHFR c677t mutation, put on Folgard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FET #1 1/6/14 - 4BB blast - BFN
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
I'm going to guess you're Italian? (not bashing, because I am too)..My parents always taught us to give $100-$150 per plate.
@srscott3 hah no I'm mostly of Austrian / Swedish decent and my husband is Afghan
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17