I am really irritated. Months ago DH's stepmom asked if we could bring the kids down to a city that is about an hour, maybe 50 minutes away to meet at BaB workshop for their birthday. They live about 4 hours away, for reference. We agreed and then yesterday (two days before) she wants to change the plans to a city that is slightly over 2 hours away from us. She gave like 5 reasons why its better, and I am just thinking, "wow I get to spend my Saturday in the car when I already get car sick going somewhere 10 minutes away, glad its more convenient for you". I am trying to be reasonable but my goodness. I feel almost manipulated into this and like I can't say no.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
Ugh. I've been having really bad seasonal allergies for a couple of weeks (sniffling, sore throat, sinus headaches), which is standard this time of year. I was trying to suffer through, but I just called my practice to ask if there was anything safe for me to take while pregnant and they were totally rude about it! I think the receptionist heard my voice crack on the phone. She told me to call an allergist! Dude, I don't need an allergist. Ragweed makes me sneeze. When I'm not pregnant, I take Zyrtec. I just want a medical professional who knows about fetuses to tell me if I can do that or not, as opposed to relying on Dr. Google. My practice is usually so kind that it totally caught me off guard.
Edit: Nurse who called me back was super nice, and green-lit Zyrtec. Maybe receptionist was having an off day. Letting go.
In happier news, I got a good tip that Target baby clearance is really great right now, and that was definitely the case. I picked up some summery stuff in 3-6 and 6-9 mo sizes. It was tougher there without knowing the sex than most other places I've looked, but I managed to find some gems anyway. They'll do things like take a teal sleeper that would really work for any baby and write "Daddy's Little Guy!" on the pocket and stuff like that. So annoying, and pretty ironic since they took so much heat recently for removing gender distinctions from their toy department.
I just got back from my doctor and they finally landed on a due date - Valentines Day! They gave me a surprise ultrasound.
But the more interesting thing was the genetic screening. My doctor does NxGen screening. I called my insurance prior to this appointment, and they confirmed genetic screening was covered under my plan.
Just to be safe, I asked at the doctors office what the cost is if insurance does not cover. It was only $10! I opted in for the testing so we will find out if we are low risk in 7-10 days. Can't wait to feel that relief!
@marriedhamstermom we had just started blue apron before my BFP and shortly after we had to start skipping meals because they all sounded disgusting. Granted the food usually sounded great, but my food aversions have been all to real! I've been skipping for te last month too lol!
You guys, I can keep my eyes open let alone move more than 5 feet. I'm dizzy and short of breath. I'm thinking of asking my boss if I can go home early - think it's warranted?
You guys, I can keep my eyes open let alone move more than 5 feet. I'm dizzy and short of breath. I'm thinking of asking my boss if I can go home early - think it's warranted?
I've taken some sick days in similar circumstances. Be careful with driving if you're that dizzy though. Hope you feel better.
I'm going to try to participate more in the randoms. I read the thread every day, but just never comment. I'm just here, stalking your lives. #lurkerlife
I could use some perspective. The story could really get too long, so I'm bullet pointing myself to keep it to the basics.
- My sister is throwing me a shower in November.
- 4+ years ago, when I started dating Husband, he was living with his long-time best friend (B) and his wife (J). We did all the things together, and I ended up getting to be good friends with J.
- B has younger sister (L) who we'd see pretty often and go on group trips with.
- This year, B and J have a messy divorce. Husband and I stay as neutral as can be. B wants his family not to have contact with J.
- B very quickly gets engaged to new gf (S), another girl Husband has known for a long time. Yes, drama. But we stayed neutral, supportive, and separated the friendships.
- L gets engaged to childhood sweetheart. Both L and B set fall wedding dates. I'm invited to both bridal showers and weddings. I will definitely go and celebrate all their happies.
So. My shower. I will definitely invite J. She's been the longer, closer friend -- plus she'd be the most hurt. Do I just invite everyone, because it's not about them? Tell everyone that I won't be upset if they choose not to come?
@HeatSparks holy cow, that is complicated. Is your shower co-ed so you'd be inviting both couples or is your option to invite J only or July and new wife?
Personally, I'd invite everyone and just give them a heads up so they can opt out if it will be too dramatic.
I hope they are all grown up enough to realize they are now happy and have moved on and can be there for you and your new LO!
@HeatSparks As an adult and neutral party, I'd invite everyone with the understanding that they, too, are mature adults and can handle themselves for one afternoon. If they feel that it would be too uncomfortable, they can choose not to attend.
I wouldn't want this to be something you worry about because it's not your drama. You've done your best to remain a neutral party and if you've maintained friendships outside of their relationship status, you're entitled to continue to include them in all aspects of your life as you please.
I would ask J how she feels about going if she is your closest friend. Tell her that you most certainly want her there, but of course your in laws will be invited too. Let her make the decision about going. Then, tell your BIL if she decides to go that she is indeed going to be there, and he better put on his big boy pants and not fuck up your day. Tell new fiancé to do the same thing.
@HeatSparks Invite everyone. I've got some family drama going on too, but I figure we're all adults here and this isn't about them, it's about me, my husband, and our baby. So they can either put aside their difference for a few hours, or not come. Makes no difference to me. Try not to stress about it.
I'm team invite everyone @HeatSparks. It seems to me like "warning" them beforehand is just inserting myself into the situation and inviting drama, but that's my family. You know yours best.
@gretchypo@bumpasaurusRex@homemake You all confirmed my gut. Thank you for your input — it was hard for me to take a step back and just see the bigger picture.
And @mommabean you're right. It's hurtful to be excluded no matter what. I think that's the mantra I'll take. Invite everyone, be honest but not dramatic or chit-chatty about who all is invited, and let them figure it out.
@gingersnap I definitely feel I should talk with J in advance and making sure she's ok. I'm closest with her, plus she went through hell this year. None of these people are related to me or husband -- they are my husband's oldest friends, though (so practically family).
@scifichick09 You hit the nail on the head -- it will be a very conscious effort for me to not worry, which is my neurosis and problem. I definitely know I'll be worried about drama. While I'd hope everyone has the maturity to behave, I know it would at the very least be super awkward and I, selfish or not, don't really want that to be what I remember about the day. On the flip side, and perhaps hypocritically, if one of them ops out, I think I'll be a little miffed. I'll understand, but be disappointed.
I think I'm going to try to put out today. H has been a fucking champ and really stepped up with Vi being sick. He even cleaned her nightmare of a room.
Aaaaaannd I have to tell this story. After the movie theater yesterday they were in the parking structure and he saw a man with an amputated leg crawling alone the ground. People were just walking by and ignoring him. H, with Vi in tow, stopped and asked him if he needed help. He said he needed to get to a phone because his chair took a dump. H gave him his phone and when he couldn't reach anyone, H took him to his house. I swear, the man drives me nuts, but then he does amazing things like that and I'm so freaking glad I chose him to spend my life with.
I know its over, but @heatsparks - I'm also team invite everyone. My sister's husband's family is full time drama and she always has this problem with every holiday and event. She just keeps inviting everyone and doesn't get upset if they choose not to come. So my only additional advice is yes, invite everyone, but don't get upset if they don't come. I'm sure they love you, but sometimes they have wounds to nurse. And just invite them all to the next thing...
I traveled yesterday, so I'm just getting caught up.
- happy birthday @MommaBean - @HeatSparks - I'd invite everyone and try and find a moment to casually mention to all parties that the shower is inclusive so no one is blindsided. Hopefully they can all be mature adults for the afternoon. - the daycare discussion makes me sad. We are going to end up paying anywhere between $1700 and $2200 just for one child. We aren't going for top of the line either, just some place safe. It's just crazy here,with everywhere already having a wait list. I'm just hoping we get off a wait list at one of the cheaper places opposed to the most expensive.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32 TTC Since 11/2015 #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
Re: Weekly Randoms (8/8)
Edit: Nurse who called me back was super nice, and green-lit Zyrtec. Maybe receptionist was having an off day. Letting go.
But the more interesting thing was the genetic screening. My doctor does NxGen screening. I called my insurance prior to this appointment, and they confirmed genetic screening was covered under my plan.
Just to be safe, I asked at the doctors office what the cost is if insurance does not cover. It was only $10! I opted in for the testing so we will find out if we are low risk in 7-10 days. Can't wait to feel that relief!
Happy Friday, everyone!!
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Happy Birthday @MommaBean!
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
I cannot wait to peace outta this joint.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
@BumpasaurusRex happy beaching! Hooray!
@xstatic3333 thanks, I hope I do too!
@MommaBean happy birthday!
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
I'm going to try to participate more in the randoms. I read the thread every day, but just never comment. I'm just here, stalking your lives.
- My sister is throwing me a shower in November.
- 4+ years ago, when I started dating Husband, he was living with his long-time best friend (B) and his wife (J). We did all the things together, and I ended up getting to be good friends with J.
- B has younger sister (L) who we'd see pretty often and go on group trips with.
- This year, B and J have a messy divorce. Husband and I stay as neutral as can be. B wants his family not to have contact with J.
- B very quickly gets engaged to new gf (S), another girl Husband has known for a long time. Yes, drama. But we stayed neutral, supportive, and separated the friendships.
- L gets engaged to childhood sweetheart. Both L and B set fall wedding dates. I'm invited to both bridal showers and weddings. I will definitely go and celebrate all their happies.
So. My shower. I will definitely invite J. She's been the longer, closer friend -- plus she'd be the most hurt. Do I just invite everyone, because it's not about them? Tell everyone that I won't be upset if they choose not to come?
Internet strangers, help my life.
Personally, I'd invite everyone and just give them a heads up so they can opt out if it will be too dramatic.
I hope they are all grown up enough to realize they are now happy and have moved on and can be there for you and your new LO!
I wouldn't want this to be something you worry about because it's not your drama. You've done your best to remain a neutral party and if you've maintained friendships outside of their relationship status, you're entitled to continue to include them in all aspects of your life as you please.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
@HeatSparks invite them both and they can figure out what to do. It's hurtful to be excluded, no matter your intentions.
Tell her that you most certainly want her there, but of course your in laws will be invited too. Let her make the decision about going.
Then, tell your BIL if she decides to go that she is indeed going to be there, and he better put on his big boy pants and not fuck up your day. Tell new fiancé to do the same thing.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
And @mommabean you're right. It's hurtful to be excluded no matter what. I think that's the mantra I'll take. Invite everyone, be honest but not dramatic or chit-chatty about who all is invited, and let them figure it out.
@gingersnap I definitely feel I should talk with J in advance and making sure she's ok. I'm closest with her, plus she went through hell this year. None of these people are related to me or husband -- they are my husband's oldest friends, though (so practically family).
@scifichick09 You hit the nail on the head -- it will be a very conscious effort for me to not worry, which is my neurosis and problem. I definitely know I'll be worried about drama. While I'd hope everyone has the maturity to behave, I know it would at the very least be super awkward and I, selfish or not, don't really want that to be what I remember about the day. On the flip side, and perhaps hypocritically, if one of them ops out, I think I'll be a little miffed. I'll understand, but be disappointed.
H has been a fucking champ and really stepped up with Vi being sick. He even cleaned her nightmare of a room.
Aaaaaannd I have to tell this story.
After the movie theater yesterday they were in the parking structure and he saw a man with an amputated leg crawling alone the ground. People were just walking by and ignoring him.
H, with Vi in tow, stopped and asked him if he needed help. He said he needed to get to a phone because his chair took a dump. H gave him his phone and when he couldn't reach anyone, H took him to his house.
I swear, the man drives me nuts, but then he does amazing things like that and I'm so freaking glad I chose him to spend my life with.
There is now no reason for us to not move!
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
- happy birthday @MommaBean
- @HeatSparks - I'd invite everyone and try and find a moment to casually mention to all parties that the shower is inclusive so no one is blindsided. Hopefully they can all be mature adults for the afternoon.
- the daycare discussion makes me sad. We are going to end up paying anywhere between $1700 and $2200 just for one child. We aren't going for top of the line either, just some place safe. It's just crazy here,with everywhere already having a wait list. I'm just hoping we get off a wait list at one of the cheaper places opposed to the most expensive.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17