Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Need to vent
November Siggy Challenge: Selfie Fails
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edit: grammar...too many words starting with 'h' all in a row
::hug::
I'm going to have to look into different job positions for after maternity leave so I don't have to work weekends. I was just offered a position as a home health nurse (I do not want to be a home health nurse) As it stands, this situation does not look promising. I thankful that I'm in a career that does offer options.
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I just want to share my experience, not because I think my experience is equal to yours, but just to give you some perspective from the side of the child. When I was about one year old, my mom had to escape from my alcoholic father with me and my older sister. She was in a foreign country at the time, and had to leave with us and whatever she could fit into a diaper bag so that he wouldn't be tipped off that we were gone and catch up to us. He was a danger to her, he was a danger to us, and she was able to stay strong and do what is best even though she was leaving with nothing. She came to the US, and even though she had absolutely nothing to start with, she did the best she could and I would say she did a darn good job of raising us two girls on her own!! A few years later when our father was granted visitation rights, he was still drinking heavily (and never did stop for his whole life). At one of our visits, he threatened to kidnap us and ended up driving us, drunk, about 2 hours back to my moms house when we wouldn't stop crying. I'm not saying they can't change, but I am saying it's a delicate balance between trust and safety.
It is a constant uphill battle but you can do this. Stay strong, reach out to those you need to, and just do your best!! Your son will love and appreciate all of this someday, and he'll know what a strong woman you are for doing this for him.
November Siggy Challenge: Selfie Fails
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It's short advice, but if it were me I would be taking a step back and letting him do him and figure his shit out. Vows are for better or worse, sickness and health, and if you believe he is an addict I would try my best to allow ample time for him to come around to recovery. Does this mean you have to live together? No. If you believe he is making selfish decisions on his own and choosing to live like this that's another issue. Just keep yourself and babies safe. I don't know if you are or not but seeking personal counseling in lieu of his refusal to seek counseling would definitely help you cope. I hope he comes around. Hang tight.
Now im afraid that I'm going to spend all this newfound "free" time feeling sorry for myself. I'm already focusing on postpartum and being all alone with a newborn and toddler while recovering. I'm so scared. I'm thinking maybe I need to hire a postpartum nurse? Idk.
I'm still losing weight. I'm eating more but obviously not enough. I'm back to being only 3 pounds above prepregnancy weight. I have plenty of maternal stores so I'm not worried about baby, but I just don't know how long I can continue at the pace.
I've placed ads for nannies and asked around for unconventional daycares. My ultimate goal, aside fromH getting his shit together and doing this himself, is to find someone that can supplement my cousin's home daycare by picking up the boys from 5:30-7:45pm two days a week and staying with them one weekend day per week. Not only is this financially better but I want my boys with their cousins.
H said he went to AA but wouldn't show me a signed attendance form do he's just lying. He visited DS on Monday but refused to see a therapist with me that day. The therapist said it was for the better because he's obviously not ready and gave me the harsh reality that this is not a salvageable relationship.
I know I'll be okay. I know I'm doing the right thing for my boys. I am strong and I will be stronger for getting through this.
November Siggy Challenge: Selfie Fails
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Mohave you looked into an au pair? Or do you have the room to have a college student live with you in exchange for a few days of baby sitting? We had a girl live with us for the first year-ish of DS, and it was wonderful. Granted, it takes a special person, but if it works...it's like having a sister in the house.
Just st wanted to let you know I'm still thinking a ot you lots, and am still happy to chat if you need the perspective of an AA regular.
November Siggy Challenge: Selfie Fails
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He said at the very least he recognizes that the drinking is a problem since it's causing problems. He's agreed to go back. Time will tell.
November Siggy Challenge: Selfie Fails
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He keeps threatening to get shared custody saying that I'm alienating him from his child. I keep going back and forth of common sense that a judge won't let him have unsupervised visits and the fear that I'll be forced to hand over my children to someone who puts them in danger. I've seriously thought of selling everything (my sole property) and just taking off. I still haven't found any lawyers that I feel confident about.
I just can't believe I'm in this situation.
November Siggy Challenge: Selfie Fails
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You're doing a great job as a mom and you can do this!!
Me: 30 | DH: 32
Together since 2008 | Married 2012
TTC #1 October 2014
BFP #1 October 2014 | CP #1 October 2014
BFP #2 November 2014 | CP #2 December 2014
BFP #3 June 2015 | MMC at 16 weeks September 2015
BFP #4 January 2016 | EDD September 12, 2016 | Baby Ducks born September 5, 2016
His is battle is NOT yours. Take care of yourself and baby. He obviously isn't ready to deal with his issues. I still think an al-anon meeting would do you some good. They might be able to help you find an attorney too. You need a village. These people understand your situation better than anyone else. Give it a chance if you can.
Between her, my best friend and local family, I'm feeling much better about doing this on my own. Still an emotional wreck, but feeling better.
November Siggy Challenge: Selfie Fails
Hidden for the sake of your eyes!