Hopefully I'm tagging the right people for the right comments.
@Katm89 I don't think you're crazy. We didn't even use bc after baby number 2. I wanted 2&3 close together and nursing makes me infertile. I was hoping I would get Knocked Up the first time I ovulated. No such luck. Period came back at 7 months pp. Hubs wasnt ready to ttc so we used condons for three months, and started 'trying' at ten months. Then it ended up taking us 8 months to get pregnant anyway.
@Snaps816 i totally, totally understand your concerns but wanted to add that my sil had her first at 36 and is four months pregnant with her second at 38. My mil also had DH at 38. Hope that gives you some good thoughts!
@SkiChic626 I'm having a similiar experience over here. I had an ultrasound done at 28 weeks and they basically told me he was enornous and i would need to be induced at 39 weeks and the doc was all concerned i wouldnt be able to deliver vaginally.
Then at my last appt, she tells me I'm only measuring a week ahead and i should be fine. Well, which is it??
Also, I'm officially more tired of being pregnant than i am scared of labor. This is a huge deal as I had a bad experience(insert Italian Job gif here) with an unplanned natural labor.
But today is day i feel like:Get.this.baby.out. Too bad I'm only 37+1.
@cm716 YES! My belly is measuring 4 weeks ahead, but all of my u/s have shown that he's only about a week ahead, if that, so nothing crazy. DD was measuring 4 weeks ahead, too, but her u/s showed a big baby, and she was a big baby so uuuugh!
Started having what I think are contractions (probably just BH) last night and had a total "shit just got real" freak out. I am terrified of everything that's about to happen and how our lives are going to completely change. I have to keep reminding myself that I have felt this "oh my god, is it too late to back out" feeling before every single big thing I've ever done, and I haven't regretted one yet. I know it's just anxiety and it will go away the instant I see our little one, but right now it's overwhelming.
Does anyone else suffer from the ugliest puffy eyes the morning after a good cry and ever find a remedy to reduce it??? I feel fine today (you know just emotions running high and overwelmed from being too pregnant last night), but now I look like complete death!! So annoying.
Also, I'm officially more tired of being pregnant than i am scared of labor. This is a huge deal as I had a bad experience(insert Italian Job gif here) with an unplanned natural labor.
But today is day i feel like:Get.this.baby.out. Too bad I'm only 37+1.
I was totally at this point, but at my appt yesterday, doc scheduled me for an induction next week if baby doesn't come before, so now the labor fear is coming back a bit!
Married May 2014 DD born August 2016 Baby #2 due December 2017
@Mfuller76 I am feeling the exact same way! I haven't mentioned it to anyone other than DH because all my friends and family want to hear is how excited I am or if everything is ready. Which really just adds to my anxiety. I just want to say, "Yes, everything is ready for the baby and I am thrilled to be pregnant, but I'm also freaking out about such a big life change right around the corner."
I slept through the night for the first time in weeks! I mean I got 5 times to go to the bathroom but I was not up for hours afterward thinking about how I am going to spend my retirement in 30 years.
Which app are some of you using to watermark your photos?? I remember it being discussed but don't recall the details.
I use an app called impression that I have had for years. Not sure if it is free or not.
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@caitlinj187 I always wake up with puffy eyes after crying. I usually put an ice pack on them for 10 min or so and that helps. Hope everything's ok! I know I've been a blubbering mess recently too!
@Bookhousegirl thanks, yeah i gave that a try and it seemed to work. i used to take ibprofen which works miracles, but you know.... baby.
and yes thank you everything is totally fine! DH and I just got into a discussion about whether we want to start looking for a new house or stay where we are currently, and the whole conversation while pregnant was way too overwelming. I told him to table the thought until we adjust to the little one!!
@caitlinj187 I get some real ugly puffy eyes after crying but I still have yet to find a solution. I usually just drink a ton of water during/afterwards because I feel super dehydrated through the process. I might have to take @Bookhousegirl's advice on the ice pack next time.
@DressageDarling I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm scared to mention it to anyone IRL too. I don't want people to think I'm not excited about the baby or that he won't be well-loved or that I didn't really think this through. I can be happy and terrified at the same time, but not everyone gets that!
@CaitlinJ22 I've given up on trying to hide the puffy eyes after crying. I figure everyone knows I'm a tired, swollen, hot mess of hormones anyway. Glad you're feeling better today!
So this morning when DH brought DD to his mom's house, she says to him "you're messing up our plans" regarding their trip to FL on 8/8 (mind you our RCS is scheduled for 8/5 and EDD is 8/11) because we may be changing our plan for a scheduled c-section. SERIOUSLY?????? I pray to heaven that she was kidding, but you really never know with her.
@SkiChic626 that would frustrate me to no end. Why plan something so close to your due date and then get mad when plans change, like they often do with anything that anything to do with kids, including child birth.
@skichic626 People have been driving me crazy with that recently. My dad has been pushing me to commit to plans for this weekend... Maybe is all I got. My PITA co worker (who insisted on taking vacation at the same time as the temp hired to cover for me) demanded to know if I would be here tomorrow and Monday, so she could make sure her work was covered. Again - maybe?
I reminded her I have a doctors appointment today, and am one day shy of 38 weeks. If the doctor finds anything wrong I'd be having a baby tonight. Hell, I may be having a baby tonight anyways - that was the risk you took booking your vacation when I was 38 freaking weeks pregnant.
If one more person asks me when I am having this baby -for their own convenience in planning around it- I swear.... Some time after five minutes from now and before August 15th. Now go away.
@skichic625 When I was preg with our DD I was due on 1/8. My FIL planned a surprise birthday party for my MIL on 1/3 when her birthday wasn't until mid Feb. He said he was doing it early to throw her off. He could not understand why we were decline the invite. oh and they live out of state. He was seriously pissed about it and claimed that "you always go late with the first". Well I actually went early so he was wrong about that. People are so strange about this stuff.
i think that me being uncomfortable plus hormones all over the place at this stage of pregnancy I am no longer patient or can take non sense, been short fuse lately everyone with the smart ass comments about me having the baby, i am too big, what does doc think and when is she coming and why they can't be in the room that day while i am in labor, etc. is getting me to just go off on people and not caring how they feel anymore. It is my baby and my decision on what i am going to do and if you can't respect my wishes than you can go back where you came from **kanye shrugs** anyone else feeling like this at all???? It just might be me being pregnant and weird.
@CaitlinJ22 way too much at this point in pregnancy when everything seems overwhelming! We also talked about moving but didn't act on it until this week during our leave. Slowly started to house hunt - currently visiting some open houses here and there (it's a nice excuse to get some fresh air too).
It's crazy how fast houses go under contract here. If we find, "the one," we need to have the bank approved and all to go under contract. I was up last night on HGTV's website to apply for House Hunters but the application was way too long for me to complete. I'll wait for Property Brothers to come to the east coast
In other news, I have a dilemma. Love my mom - she seriously has been so much help since she got here but she tends to do things we were advised not to do (from the hospital). Example: She always thinks baby A is cold. She puts a long sleeve onesie on her then pants, socks, and mittens, and then wraps her in a blanket. We were told to dress baby how we would per weather conditions and cover with light blanket if needed.
Another example: She wants to put a sleep sack over baby A's outfit when putting her in the carseat and I told her the more layers baby A has on, the less protected she may be (anyone see the carseat warning with babies and puffer jackets?!)
We have different views on how to take care of baby and she is so quick to criticize if I do something as opposed to her! Baby A gets fussy when we try to change her clothes no matter who is changing her, right? If mom does it and baby A cries, she doesn't say anything but if I happen to be the one changing baby, mom would say something like, "you have to be careful! She's crying because you're not gentle enough."
I love my mom and so appreciate the help she has been thus far but I'm also about to go crazy at the same time. How the hell do I balance the two?!
@AliKay20 my advice is to stay firm! Moms are going off of what they did 20+ years ago. Plus they assume you don't know what you're doing (and as a FTM, they are probably a little right in some cases) but at the end of the day it's your child. I had to correct my mom and MIL many times, and still have to even now.
I swear something clicks in each person when they become a grandparent and they turn into monsters in some way. Helpful but pushy monsters that ignore everything. Like who is this person?
@AliKay20 I have been dreading the grandmother opinions. I've already warned my mom several times that she needs to stop with the "well when you were little they were saying to do the exact opposite" kind of comments or I was gonna get really irritated. My cousin had a baby this time last year and my mom and aunt just love to belittle all the "crazy" rules/practices my cousin and her husband have with the baby. So rude. I just keep telling her "As a parent, I feel it is my responsibility to care for my child the best I can based on the latest research, whatever that may be." Oh well, I think it's like @justaudrey says and there's just an overbearing grandparent gene that gets switched on it something. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it (or burn it if need be.)
@AliKay20 I've gone through this off and on with my MIL. Hold your ground! You are the mom, and while getting some advice is great, at the end of the day, you are the decision maker.
My mom is a great help and DD loves her but sometimes she's too much in "mom mode" and not in "grandma mode". I can't tell you the amount of times I've responded to something with "yeah well we are gonna do..." Or "no she's fine."
I think it's worse when they're first time grandparents because they've only ever been parents.
This is what I'm dreading! It already started before I was even like 5 months.
My Mom: Don't lay like that. (I had my arms behind my head) Me: Why not? Mom: You'll wrap the umbilical cord around the baby's neck. Me: *blink blink* Mom: What!?! It's true. Me: No mom. It's not. Mom: Just because I had a baby 28 years ago doesn't mean things have changed! Do you have a modern baby or something? Me: *blink blink* walking away.
Same mom and MIL stuff here. If I have to listen to the "well I remember riding around in the back of the car with no seat belt and crawling in the back window and I never died" type things again with this baby I might crack. Because obviously they invented car seats as just torture devices and not for valid safety reasons. My MIL still has no idea how to properly use the car seat and DDs been in this convertible one since 6 months (now 14 months). She has to ask how to get her out and hands her to us to put in every single time ( just another reason she never has her on her own).
My DH and mom get along really well, sometimes better than my mom and I do, and we've always been pretty close, but when DD was maybe 3 months old he came down stairs to my mom sleeping on the couch with DD sleeping in between her and the back of the couch. He lost it on her. I don't know if they just never knew what to watch out for with SIDS or what, but we had a lot of issues with that. Now that DD is older I trust my mom 100%, but when she was that tiny I was always on edge and I hope she remembers this time around...
Just try to stay firm and remember you're the mom and unfortunately for them what you say goes. Also remember they might have some things you can learn from. I appreciated having my mom around to show me how to help DD learn new things. Honestly, my mom is a big reason she learned to roll, crawl, stand, and walk so early. I wouldn't have known or ever tried some of the things she showed me to help DD learn them.
@AliKay20 I have a friend who was picked to be on House Hunters, and she had to basically have the house under contract and let HGTV know a few days before they were going to close, then they'd come and find some similar houses to be the two that they didn't choose - not even necessarily really for sale. So you have to be pretty far along in the process in order to get chosen. Her purchase ended up falling through due to issues with wetlands around the property she was going to purchase, so she obviously didn't end up being on the show.
As for the other stuff, my mom always thought DD was cold, too, and she was also a summer baby. We were told the same thing by our pediatrician that they should be dressed how we would dress with maaaaaybe one more light layer, but after a few weeks once they can regulate their temp it's not necessary. And, yes, NEVER put anything puffy or relatively thick on baby in the car seat. This drives my family nuts because we still don't put DD in a jacket in the winter time. We just move quick and bring a coat or blanket with us and put it over her once she's strapped in. Car seat safety is no joke! And, finally, babies are delicate, yes, but they're not nearly as fragile as we think they are until we have them - you're not going to break her by changing her clothes Like @Lynnlove28 said, I make the "she's fine" comment to the grandparents more than I'll ever be able to fathom. My mom actually asked me yesterday what I plan to do different this time that didn't work with DD. I honestly hadn't even thought about it because DD is an awesome loving kid. She's clingy, but she's 2 freaking year old, it's OK. My mom thinks we held her too much when she was little and that's why she's so needy so we should just plop him in the PnP and let him fuss and cry sometimes just because. I think DD is the way she is because that's just her personality, but what do I know, I'm just her mother.
Ladies... I think I need a new job. Do I talk to my boss about this now prior to maternity leave and see if I can get a raise... or once I return( if I look for a new job it will be at my company). I just found out that we are taxed on the graduate classes we take... at a 40% rate... so I would need to pay 3000$ a year... a little breakdown of my pay...
after insurance, daycare and 401k contribution... I only take home 320 a month.... and that I'm using to make extra payments on my car...I cannot afford to take 6 classes a yr at my job... which is what I needed to take in order to accomplish our 3 yr plan to finish and then have a second kid and then move out of state... we need to reevaluate... and I may need to just take a smaller amount of classes and then pay out of pocket when we move... ugh... would you just move whenever was right for your family and then pay out of pocket the 12k a yr for the MBA( 3 yrs)... its 12k a yr for the program... and its 12k a yr for my baby's daycare... the only factor that keeps me working is our insurance.... its such good health insurance.
@Katm89 As long as you enjoy working, I think the long term benefits of continuing to work far outweigh the financial struggles of having young kids and paying for daycare, etc. (just think of how much closer you're getting yourself to retirement by contributing to that 401k!!). As for asking for a raise or getting a new job when you return, I think that really depends on your individual situation. I'd personally feel funny asking for a raise right before I went on leave. That said, when I did return to work after DD I got a new job, internally, within 2 months, so it can happen if the right opportunity opens up.
@SkiChic626I definitely want to keep working ... I am drastically underpaid at my job and DH desperately wants to move out of state... but I wanted to leave with my MBA... I can do the program online... when we move... but i can't do it as fast as I thought I could bec of the 40% tax on it at the end of the yr... especially with this income... I guess we will need to play it by ear. I will definitely need to find a new job because 27k a year for me with my bachelor's degree is just highway robbery in such an expensive area to live... CT isn't cheap!
@Katm89 if at all possible, get something lined up before asking for a raise/discussing leaving the job. It only gives you more leverage which is favorable to your situation than not having any other options. I know it's easier said than done though!
@katm89 I would honestly look at the pay difference of how much more you would make in your job getting the mba vs your current degree. My sister was in the military and when she got out she used the GI bill and got her bachelors degree. She decided to go ahead and get her masters, which is not covered by the GI bill, so she took loans out for it. But, once she has the masters and everything's said and done she will make almost double what she currently makes.
Id say that if the pay increase isn't that significant I would just get it through your job. But, if the pay increase would be a pretty good jump I'd consider moving out of state and biting the bullet and paying for it.
The American Horror Story teasers are out for the upcoming season and I am so excited. I have to watch this show in the middle of the day 90% of the time, but I still love it and the one starting this fall takes place in the midwest (very Children of the Corn)--even better.
@kristynmac I started watching it on Netflix but then I got pregnant and my dreams are way too vivid so I had to stop lol. I'm gonna start again once LO is born.
Re: Randoms 7/25
@Katm89 I don't think you're crazy. We didn't even use bc after baby number 2. I wanted 2&3 close together and nursing makes me infertile. I was hoping I would get Knocked Up the first time I ovulated. No such luck. Period came back at 7 months pp. Hubs wasnt ready to ttc so we used condons for three months, and started 'trying' at ten months. Then it ended up taking us 8 months to get pregnant anyway.
@Snaps816 i totally, totally understand your concerns but wanted to add that my sil had her first at 36 and is four months pregnant with her second at 38. My mil also had DH at 38. Hope that gives you some good thoughts!
@SkiChic626 I'm having a similiar experience over here. I had an ultrasound done at 28 weeks and they basically told me he was enornous and i would need to be induced at 39 weeks and the doc was all concerned i wouldnt be able to deliver vaginally.
Then at my last appt, she tells me I'm only measuring a week ahead and i should be fine. Well, which is it??
But today is day i feel like:Get.this.baby.out. Too bad I'm only 37+1.
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
and yes thank you everything is totally fine! DH and I just got into a discussion about whether we want to start looking for a new house or stay where we are currently, and the whole conversation while pregnant was way too overwelming. I told him to table the thought until we adjust to the little one!!
Baby #2: Emmeline Grey - August 2016
Baby #3: BFP 9/7/18 | EDD 05/24/19
@CaitlinJ22 I've given up on trying to hide the puffy eyes after crying. I figure everyone knows I'm a tired, swollen, hot mess of hormones anyway. Glad you're feeling better today!
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
@skichic626 People have been driving me crazy with that recently. My dad has been pushing me to commit to plans for this weekend... Maybe is all I got. My PITA co worker (who insisted on taking vacation at the same time as the temp hired to cover for me) demanded to know if I would be here tomorrow and Monday, so she could make sure her work was covered. Again - maybe?
I reminded her I have a doctors appointment today, and am one day shy of 38 weeks. If the doctor finds anything wrong I'd be having a baby tonight. Hell, I may be having a baby tonight anyways - that was the risk you took booking your vacation when I was 38 freaking weeks pregnant.
If one more person asks me when I am having this baby -for their own convenience in planning around it- I swear.... Some time after five minutes from now and before August 15th. Now go away.
It's crazy how fast houses go under contract here. If we find, "the one," we need to have the bank approved and all to go under contract. I was up last night on HGTV's website to apply for House Hunters but the application was way too long for me to complete. I'll wait for Property Brothers to come to the east coast
In other news, I have a dilemma. Love my mom - she seriously has been so much help since she got here but she tends to do things we were advised not to do (from the hospital). Example: She always thinks baby A is cold. She puts a long sleeve onesie on her then pants, socks, and mittens, and then wraps her in a blanket. We were told to dress baby how we would per weather conditions and cover with light blanket if needed.
Another example: She wants to put a sleep sack over baby A's outfit when putting her in the carseat and I told her the more layers baby A has on, the less protected she may be (anyone see the carseat warning with babies and puffer jackets?!)
We have different views on how to take care of baby and she is so quick to criticize if I do something as opposed to her! Baby A gets fussy when we try to change her clothes no matter who is changing her, right? If mom does it and baby A cries, she doesn't say anything but if I happen to be the one changing baby, mom would say something like, "you have to be careful! She's crying because you're not gentle enough."
I love my mom and so appreciate the help she has been thus far but I'm also about to go crazy at the same time. How the hell do I balance the two?!
I swear something clicks in each person when they become a grandparent and they turn into monsters in some way. Helpful but pushy monsters that ignore everything. Like who is this person?
Baby #2: Emmeline Grey - August 2016
Baby #3: BFP 9/7/18 | EDD 05/24/19
Oh well, I think it's like @justaudrey says and there's just an overbearing grandparent gene that gets switched on it something. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it (or burn it if need be.)
I think it's worse when they're first time grandparents because they've only ever been parents.
We have a dog that mom has been so against in raising with a baby; she believes dogs' shedding hair cannot be good for baby to breathe in...
well, she insisted on coming along with us to Avery's 3-wk appt today and DH asked if it was bad for baby to be around our dog.
Pediatrician goes, "Absolutely not! It actually lowers their risk of developing allergies. Not a bad thing at all."
Y'all should have seen mom's face. Let's just say she didn't have much to say after that!
My Mom: Don't lay like that. (I had my arms behind my head)
Me: Why not?
Mom: You'll wrap the umbilical cord around the baby's neck.
Me: *blink blink*
Mom: What!?! It's true.
Me: No mom. It's not.
Mom: Just because I had a baby 28 years ago doesn't mean things have changed! Do you have a modern baby or something?
Me: *blink blink* walking away.
My DH and mom get along really well, sometimes better than my mom and I do, and we've always been pretty close, but when DD was maybe 3 months old he came down stairs to my mom sleeping on the couch with DD sleeping in between her and the back of the couch. He lost it on her. I don't know if they just never knew what to watch out for with SIDS or what, but we had a lot of issues with that. Now that DD is older I trust my mom 100%, but when she was that tiny I was always on edge and I hope she remembers this time around...
Just try to stay firm and remember you're the mom and unfortunately for them what you say goes. Also remember they might have some things you can learn from. I appreciated having my mom around to show me how to help DD learn new things. Honestly, my mom is a big reason she learned to roll, crawl, stand, and walk so early. I wouldn't have known or ever tried some of the things she showed me to help DD learn them.
@AliKay20 I have a friend who was picked to be on House Hunters, and she had to basically have the house under contract and let HGTV know a few days before they were going to close, then they'd come and find some similar houses to be the two that they didn't choose - not even necessarily really for sale. So you have to be pretty far along in the process in order to get chosen. Her purchase ended up falling through due to issues with wetlands around the property she was going to purchase, so she obviously didn't end up being on the show.
As for the other stuff, my mom always thought DD was cold, too, and she was also a summer baby. We were told the same thing by our pediatrician that they should be dressed how we would dress with maaaaaybe one more light layer, but after a few weeks once they can regulate their temp it's not necessary. And, yes, NEVER put anything puffy or relatively thick on baby in the car seat. This drives my family nuts because we still don't put DD in a jacket in the winter time. We just move quick and bring a coat or blanket with us and put it over her once she's strapped in. Car seat safety is no joke! And, finally, babies are delicate, yes, but they're not nearly as fragile as we think they are until we have them - you're not going to break her by changing her clothes
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
after insurance, daycare and 401k contribution... I only take home 320 a month.... and that I'm using to make extra payments on my car...I cannot afford to take 6 classes a yr at my job... which is what I needed to take in order to accomplish our 3 yr plan to finish and then have a second kid and then move out of state... we need to reevaluate... and I may need to just take a smaller amount of classes and then pay out of pocket when we move... ugh... would you just move whenever was right for your family and then pay out of pocket the 12k a yr for the MBA( 3 yrs)...
its 12k a yr for the program... and its 12k a yr for my baby's daycare... the only factor that keeps me working is our insurance.... its such good health insurance.
Help... what would you do
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
Id say that if the pay increase isn't that significant I would just get it through your job. But, if the pay increase would be a pretty good jump I'd consider moving out of state and biting the bullet and paying for it.