@Katm89 for the first 6 months after we had DD I kept telling people we were one and done. Before I had DD I wanted 3-4 kids but now I'm pretty much settled on 2.
@Katm89 - I was ready to have another baby as soon as dd1 was born. She was ebf and even though she wasn't nursing as much, I didn't get my first period until she was almost 1.5 years. As much as I wanted another baby, having one any sooner wasn't an option for us. It was also recommended by my ob that I wait 18 months to get pregnant because of having a c-section.
@Katm89 I had originally wanted mine really close together, but after having DS1, I couldn't even imagine having another anytime soon. It wasn't until he was 15/16months that I felt ready to try again. My point is, you might not feel as strongly as you do now about timing after you have your LO.
I'm a little shocked at how many of our regulars have already had their babies!! I'd be okay if my body decided to go into labor before my RCS. I'm getting more anxious/excited with every birth announcement!!
@t218 it went well, thanks for asking! I do think I need to set up some ground rules here, my bosses are all great people with young children, but are also all male so may not appreciate the awkwardness of actually going into labor while at work - and even more so with clients!
That's so nice that you're able to handle things through conference calls, that would take some of the pressure off of having to run around everywhere.
@lotsofsunshine maybe if you are ok with spoilers you can google what happens to prepare yourself? I just remember people posting on Facebook a few years ago about something crazy happened that was sad so I had to find out. I'm about 3 episodes into the third season and I'm kind of content with where things are.... So in my head Downton might end right there.
@katm89 No, not yet, but I think I'm going to say something along the lines of my experience with measurements and if it's consistent then I feel like it's a waste to have a RCS for a 7lb baby. And see what they say...
We totally talked about next baby before DD was born. They'll be about 2 years apart and while it sounds great, I now wish we'd waited a little longer, DD is still a handful and needs so much attention, it's going to be really tough for a while. We're already taking about #3, but this time we said we want DD to at least be in kindergarten or 1st grade. It'll also depend on our income situation at the time and what we can afford. I don't plan to not work so we'd have to be able to afford daycare and activities for 3 kiddos.
@lotsofsunshine maybe if you are ok with spoilers you can google what happens to prepare yourself? I just remember people posting on Facebook a few years ago about something crazy happened that was sad so I had to find out. I'm about 3 episodes into the third season and I'm kind of content with where things are.... So in my head Downton might end right there.
The suspense kills me! I would love to prepare myself, but spoilers are my biggest pet peeve. My mother makes me crazy because she is always reading the last chapter of the book or looking at spoilers to shows and movies. If I hear the ending early, I will stop where ever I am and never start up again. Lol
@Katm89 We started "planning" our second while I was still pregnant with DD. We always knew we wanted them close together. Then when DD was born I kept telling DH I wanted another one, like now. Crazy hormones. At my 6 week pp appointment I asked my dr. how soon we could try for our next one lol. They'll be 15 months apart, exactly what we had hoped
@Katm89 we knew before we even had DS that we were going to start trying after he turned 2. We knew we didn't want 2 under 2 (more power to you ladies who can handle that!!) but DH is a little older than me and he's always said he wants to retire in his mid 60s and not still be putting kids through college. He turned 40 the month we started ttc. Our kids will be almost exactly 3 years apart (I'm due within a week of DS's birthday). even before DH and I started talking about it I knew my "timeline" for how I pictured our life. He turned 35 the year we met. For some reason I always pictured myself at his 40th birthday pregnant and with a toddler. In the end I got pregnant a few months later but it's just about the same idea I had from the beginning. We both actually wish we had some more time for the two of us before having any kids (met in 2010, DS was born in 2013) but the age difference is exactly what we wanted.
Just stopping in to say we are going home today! I will be on soon. Just miss y'all! Hope everyone is doing awesome and getting excited! My biggest advice for the day would be - enjoy that belly even though you're anxious and excited. So happy to have our sweet little man but there was a 30 min period yesterday where nursery had baby and DH wasn't in the room. I felt so alone! Im sure its the hormones that made me feel the way I did about it. But I've reached down to touch my belly a couple of times and have felt sad to not have him there!
@jacmkelley wow that's quick to be heading home! Great news!
State law where we are birthing requires a bunch of tests at 24 hours post birth, so my hospital keeps everyone for a minimum of 48 hours - If I end up with a C section I'll be there FIVE days. (gah)
Glad you are all doing so well! And congrats on that little bundle.
@jacmkelley i feel the same way as far as not having her in my belly i will miss it.......
Last night i dreamed about having baby girl and trying to breastfeed her was epic fail and then i gave her the formula and she was choking and then i started crying because i felt like a horrible mom then i woke up out of my dream and just rubbed my belly and went back to sleep and continued the dream, i am just so nervous babies are fragile little human beings that we are responsible to watch and care for them make sure all is good. I have days that I really want her out and then days that I am just like have to enjoy while she cooks in there longer.
@Snaps816@Lynnlove28@Sekerambo@Bookhousegirl@ginger819 Thank you ladies for explaining your thought process and how I may change my mind and 3 years may seem perfect for us. We have always said we wanted 3 but maybe 2 will be perfect... who knows. We kind of lamented the fact that more goes into planning a family than just love and God's plan... ( we got pregnant the first month ttc, so we know we can't just wing it and see what happens).
A little back story about us- we fell in love like in a movie... and decided on our 1 yr anniversary when I was 20 years old to get engaged... got married at 21 and DH went off to afghanistan and I finished college.. Everyone thought the timing was off( some people didn't even show at the wedding)... but it worked out and we didn't care.. it just felt right. The first year and a half of our marriage we lived apart... sucked... but we made it. Then we waited to have children because DH got out of the marines and went to college. He just graduated this past May and we waited to ttc until he would have graduated... waiting was very hard for us. Around 3 years ago we felt ready... finances weren't there and we had no time.. so we waited... and thought well the first one is the hard one to plan and then the rest we can just wing it... ( we took comfort in that). Then reality hit us this summer. DH got his Engineering position after graduating.. I have a new job. I even have amazing health insurance.. but financially we cannot cover 2 daycare spots...we have a plan to save an emergency fund, buy a new care for DH once mine is paid off in a yr... and then move out of state after my Free MBA is done... these opportunities were completely unforeseen...
Adulting is tough.. and sometimes I wish decisions could have remained as easy as our young naive completely certain desire to marry.
@Curls919 I think its great that you had a plan... I feel like plans change and that's normal... but not having one gets you nowhere( atleast in my experience it leaves you to kind of stay stagnant). I'm lucky because I will be 27 when baby is born, so I can have another at 30 and 33 and keep them 3 years apart feasibly... it just freaks me out that we will have a 6 year old and a baby... but maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I think life just kind of works out the way its meant to be sometimes. Because I know its entirely possible that we could end up having secondary infertility even though it was so easy with our first... no guarantees in life
@SkiChic626 I think its totally worth a trial of labor.. worst case scenario is you end up having another c-section... which you kind of will have now regardless... And I hear a lot from parents with 2 under 2 that they feel like they kind of forced their 2 yr old to grow up quicker because baby needed more from mom and dad... daycare and college is definitely a factor for us because I plan on working as well.
It kind of freaks me out that we could get pregnant by accident and that financially I would be forced to quit my job and in turn quit my MBA.... very scary
@Katm89 adulting does suck but I love yalls story. I'm a firm believer of everything has a way of working itself out exactly how it's supposed to. We were not planning on having our babies so close together(DD will be 2 in October). 2 years ago DH had a really great job in construction but then work really died off so he got laid off last july. I was working as a phlebotomist and he struggled to find work for a few months. He finally found a decent job but it was only part time. Finally at the beginning of December he got a full time job making almost as much as he was before he was laid off and this job has benefits.
We found out we were pregnant again a few weeks after he started his job. We've pretty much spent this entire pregnancy catching all of our bills us and getting our savings built back up. We are finally in a good spot again but there have been some times over the past 9 months that we literally didn't know how we were gonna make it. I now stay home with DD because pretty much my entire check was going towards child care.
@Lynnlove28 What an amazing story. You guys sound like such a good team. Life is insane sometimes and its amazing having someone to help build things back up. We found out about our pregnancy December 2nd, 2015... a wednesday... the friday before that wednesday was black friday... and we went to get our Xmas tree... a state trooper came out and issued us a ticket for like 300 dollars for my DH's car registration... long story short he didn't pay his car taxes... but we never got the bill ( for 3 years lol)... and honestly we never thought about it... now I pay attention... this year we still havent received a bill and we called the town hall and they have no record of his car ... we have made 3 trips out to the dmv and the town hall during july... bec it is technically late aug 1st... ugh
I remember being so upset that during our tradition of getting out tree all of our savings was being stripped away... we had had a rough couple months with the animals in and out of the vet... they both needed surgery...
I looked at DH and said ... I bet i'm pregnant because isn't that the way and we both laughed... gotta take life in stride.. and just kind of expect things will work out... they always seem to thank goodness
@katm89 Kinda in the same boat but going the other direction - Ideally I always wanted my kids several years apart. In my fantasy land, I would have my first in my late 20's and my second in my mid thirties... all done with school, married to an amazing man, and with a great job (of course)...
Fast forward to real life, and I am in my early thirties already. My husband is barely shy of 40. I'm still not done with school (also going for my MBA, and also have a great opportunity to obtain it for almost free - I have to pay the fees out of pocket, but between tuition reimbursement from work and a scholarship, the credit hours are free.) If we want another, financially and physically it makes sense to try before I pursue any higher level position after graduation... I'll need to commit more time and energy to my career once I do, and will likely have less flexibility than I do now - and my husband doesn't want to be in his 70's with a kid in college, and I don't really want to be AMA especially after all the issues we had with this one. So we really need to make a decision sometime between a 18 months from now and three years from now. Which pushes us into two small children at once, or being one and done. I wanted them further apart so the older one would be able to help more, be more self sufficient when I was pregnant / we had a newborn, and we'd have some time to recover between college tuition bills.
My timeline got all screwed up waiting for the perfect man - but he is worth it
@Allisun85 its so funny how plans change. I definitely plan on having my second before pursuing a higher career after the MBA.. maybe even quitting and taking 6 months of time with the new baby and then looking for something wherever we move but who knows. I think we will both find... no matter the spacing that once our children our here... we wouldn't have changed things for the world. Because waiting for the perfect man/Dad is kind of the most important part.
DH's aunt had her baby yesterday so we went up to visit her and gosh it hit me like a ton of bricks that this is real and in about 2 weeks I'll have my own little baby to care for. Holding and seeing a baby made me that much more eager and impatient for mine to be here...baby boy hurry up!!
This little guy "dropped" significantly over the last week. I keep wondering how that can be comfortable? Upside down, with his head wedged into my pelvis? I mean I guess babies are designed for it, but I'd think that would be terrible from his POV. (Not super comfy for momma either kid...)
@Allisun85 I've wondered the same thing? Baby girl has been head down since 28 weeks or before. Does the blood not rush to their head while I'm standing? Is that a really dumb question? Don't judge me if it is.....
@Allisun85 this LO has been head down for a while but he is laying crooked so I can feel his head(I'm assuming) is against my right hip bone. I feel like he is really long so that's why he's in such an awkward position. I've also wondered how they lay upside down for so long and it's no issue.
I had a horrible dream last night about having the baby.
Everyone turned out healthy and ok in the dream, but it was a nightmare birth
story! I wake up in a hospital bed after being “out” for a while and I’m told
by a medical staff that I’ve had the baby. Where is he? I ask, and they bring
him in and he’s hooked up to some crazy machine where he’s floating in a tank
of water, like a fish tank, hooked up to a scuba tube sort of device giving him
oxygen. They tell me this is the latest thing in newborn technology and is
supposed to mimic conditions in the womb. They won’t let me take him out and
hold him, and I never got skin-to-skin time. Where is my husband? I ask, and
they say they sent him home since I was knocked out and baby had to be in the
tank thing. There was no reason for him to be here. So then I was left alone in
the room with my baby in his fish tank thing… and then I woke up. Whew. That
was definitely one of those dreams where you wake up and you’re so grateful it
wasn’t real.
So my mom came for the day today to take DS off my hands so I can get some stuff done around the house. I have a lot of deep cleaning to do (this week I've assigned myself the kitchen). Finished wiping down the tops of all my cabinets (boy do those get gross!), took a break for lunch and now I'm having a hard time making myself get back to work. It's crazy (and frustrating) how quickly I get exhausted these days! So tempted to just relax but I would feel guilty since my mom drove all the way over here to do me a favor.
@tisunge602 I'm in the same boat. I have the day off and DS is at daycare. My morning was super productive, but now I want to just sit and do nothing. I decided to compromise and get a pedicure... Which, to be fair, was on my to-do list before baby comes
@tisunge602 I'm in the same boat. I have the day off and DS is at daycare. My morning was super productive, but now I want to just sit and do nothing. I decided to compromise and get a pedicure... Which, to be fair, was on my to-do list before baby comes
I am totally doing that this Friday. I have the day off and I am going to keep my DD in daycare for the morning and get a pedicure...god know my feet need it. Why are my feet so flipping dry during pregnancy???
@Nikkoli98 DH & I grew up in the suburbs of Illinois. All our families are there so we thought of moving back one day but we are too chicken to face Chicago's winter again. I remember wearing my chemistry goggles to class (went to Loyola - right by the lakefront) to avoid the wind and snow. Brrrr!
@tisunge602 We love Barracks Row!! So many good restaurants and DC donuts make us venture out there from time to time!
So it's been raining all morning, and I'm working from home today, so when the rain finally cleared about noon, I decided to go for my daily walk. Well, it was still really wet outside, so I went by myself.... Hans the long-haired dachshund, my usual walking buddy, stayed home. Maybe it's because I didn't have a short legged dog to walk faster than, maybe it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant, maybe it's because I was walking midday instead of like 7 am, or maybe it's because it's like 78 degrees and 95% humidity, but good lord, was that difficult.
I am so freaking ready to be able to exercise not pregnant. And not in the summer.
I have a gift certificate to get my toes done and I've been wanting to use it all week. Maybe tomorrow... We have DD's 2 year pics (1 month late), so we'll do some maternity shots and family shots while we're at it. I have no idea what to wear and I really need to get a hair cut... I'm really good at procrastinating apparently.
Also Random, I sent my sisters pics of my registry since I didn't make it public because its 90% breast feeding stuff and 8% expensive stuff that I want but wouldn't have anyone buy me, and 1 item that was a decent normal gift (a super cute diaper bag). They had asked about what was so weird, and so I sent them pics just to show them how weird. Well, my sweet sister bought me the diaper bag today. I cried. I really wasn't expecting anyone to buy stuff off my registry because its sooo personal (and hidden)!
@tisunge602 I'm in the same boat. I have the day off and DS is at daycare. My morning was super productive, but now I want to just sit and do nothing. I decided to compromise and get a pedicure... Which, to be fair, was on my to-do list before baby comes
I am totally doing that this Friday. I have the day off and I am going to keep my DD in daycare for the morning and get a pedicure...god know my feet need it. Why are my feet so flipping dry during pregnancy???
My MIL's birthday gift to me was a brunch and pedicure date on the day of my choosing. (We actually get along really well and I like hanging out with her!) So I am doing that with her next weekend so it's closer to baby's due date. That sounds like a great idea though! Enjoy @Bookhousegirl!
My mom is staying into the evening too so that DH and I can have a date night. Really looking forward to that!
@tisunge602 We love Barracks Row!! So many good restaurants and DC donuts make us venture out there from time to time!
Yeah, they have been out there since 2009 so I have been to visit many times! They always take us to great restaurants when we visit. Have not been to DC Donuts though! Next time!
So I've decided that when females do cervical checks they are a hell of a lot more painful. My two male docs did them and they were only slightly uncomfortable. When the two female docs did it I bled after and felt like I was being ripped in two.
I feel so awful for DH. EDD is and always has been 8/11, we have the RSC scheduled for 8/5, but now with knowing baby isn't measuring as big as his sister I'm thinking maybe I wasn't too try to labor on my own. Well DH's parents booked a trip to FL to visit his sister who literally just moved a couple weeks ago, it hasn't been that long. Now they're all up in arms because there's a chance they may miss the birth of their grandchild. Not for nothing, but you probably should have thought about that before booking a trip the week of our due date regardless of a scheduled c/s or not, I mean it's the birth of a child, it's always subject to change. There's no real reason they're going to FL other than to see the new setup, etc. There are literally 49 other weeks in a year to choose from. How that is more important than this baby is beyond me. Obviously DH feels jilted, to put it lightly, and I'm angry and sad for him.
I have also wondered about baby being upside down for so long. She has been upside down literally every ultrasound the whole pregnancy. We are keeping the name a secret so we've started calling her Stella Luna to our families (like the children's book about the bat.) I'm worried when she comes out she is gonna feel all upside down all the time when we hold her right side up
Re: Randoms 7/25
That's so nice that you're able to handle things through conference calls, that would take some
of the pressure off of having to run around everywhere.
We totally talked about next baby before DD was born. They'll be about 2 years apart and while it sounds great, I now wish we'd waited a little longer, DD is still a handful and needs so much attention, it's going to be really tough for a while. We're already taking about #3, but this time we said we want DD to at least be in kindergarten or 1st grade. It'll also depend on our income situation at the time and what we can afford. I don't plan to not work so we'd have to be able to afford daycare and activities for 3 kiddos.
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016
@jacmkelley wow that's quick to be heading home! Great news!
State law where we are birthing requires a bunch of tests at 24 hours post birth, so my hospital keeps everyone for a minimum of 48 hours - If I end up with a C section I'll be there FIVE days. (gah)
Glad you are all doing so well! And congrats on that little bundle.
Last night i dreamed about having baby girl and trying to breastfeed her was epic fail and then i gave her the formula and she was choking and then i started crying because i felt like a horrible mom then i woke up out of my dream and just rubbed my belly and went back to sleep and continued the dream, i am just so nervous babies are fragile little human beings that we are responsible to watch and care for them make sure all is good. I have days that I really want her out and then days that I am just like have to enjoy while she cooks in there longer.
Thank you ladies for explaining your thought process and how I may change my mind and 3 years may seem perfect for us. We have always said we wanted 3 but maybe 2 will be perfect... who knows. We kind of lamented the fact that more goes into planning a family than just love and God's plan... ( we got pregnant the first month ttc, so we know we can't just wing it and see what happens).
A little back story about us- we fell in love like in a movie... and decided on our 1 yr anniversary when I was 20 years old to get engaged... got married at 21 and DH went off to afghanistan and I finished college.. Everyone thought the timing was off( some people didn't even show at the wedding)... but it worked out and we didn't care.. it just felt right. The first year and a half of our marriage we lived apart... sucked... but we made it. Then we waited to have children because DH got out of the marines and went to college. He just graduated this past May and we waited to ttc until he would have graduated... waiting was very hard for us. Around 3 years ago we felt ready... finances weren't there and we had no time.. so we waited... and thought well the first one is the hard one to plan and then the rest we can just wing it... ( we took comfort in that). Then reality hit us this summer. DH got his Engineering position after graduating.. I have a new job. I even have amazing health insurance.. but financially we cannot cover 2 daycare spots...we have a plan to save an emergency fund, buy a new care for DH once mine is paid off in a yr... and then move out of state after my Free MBA is done... these opportunities were completely unforeseen...
Adulting is tough.. and sometimes I wish decisions could have remained as easy as our young naive completely certain desire to marry.
@Curls919 I think its great that you had a plan... I feel like plans change and that's normal... but not having one gets you nowhere( atleast in my experience it leaves you to kind of stay stagnant). I'm lucky because I will be 27 when baby is born, so I can have another at 30 and 33 and keep them 3 years apart feasibly... it just freaks me out that we will have a 6 year old and a baby... but maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I think life just kind of works out the way its meant to be sometimes. Because I know its entirely possible that we could end up having secondary infertility even though it was so easy with our first... no guarantees in life
@SkiChic626 I think its totally worth a trial of labor.. worst case scenario is you end up having another c-section... which you kind of will have now regardless... And I hear a lot from parents with 2 under 2 that they feel like they kind of forced their 2 yr old to grow up quicker because baby needed more from mom and dad... daycare and college is definitely a factor for us because I plan on working as well.
It kind of freaks me out that we could get pregnant by accident and that financially I would be forced to quit my job and in turn quit my MBA.... very scary
We found out we were pregnant again a few weeks after he started his job. We've pretty much spent this entire pregnancy catching all of our bills us and getting our savings built back up. We are finally in a good spot again but there have been some times over the past 9 months that we literally didn't know how we were gonna make it. I now stay home with DD because pretty much my entire check was going towards child care.
I remember being so upset that during our tradition of getting out tree all of our savings was being stripped away... we had had a rough couple months with the animals in and out of the vet... they both needed surgery...
I looked at DH and said ... I bet i'm pregnant because isn't that the way and we both laughed... gotta take life in stride.. and just kind of expect things will work out... they always seem to thank goodness
@katm89 Kinda in the same boat but going the other direction - Ideally I always wanted my kids several years apart. In my fantasy land, I would have my first in my late 20's and my second in my mid thirties... all done with school, married to an amazing man, and with a great job (of course)...
Fast forward to real life, and I am in my early thirties already. My husband is barely shy of 40. I'm still not done with school (also going for my MBA, and also have a great opportunity to obtain it for almost free - I have to pay the fees out of pocket, but between tuition reimbursement from work and a scholarship, the credit hours are free.) If we want another, financially and physically it makes sense to try before I pursue any higher level position after graduation... I'll need to commit more time and energy to my career once I do, and will likely have less flexibility than I do now - and my husband doesn't want to be in his 70's with a kid in college, and I don't really want to be AMA especially after all the issues we had with this one. So we really need to make a decision sometime between a 18 months from now and three years from now. Which pushes us into two small children at once, or being one and done. I wanted them further apart so the older one would be able to help more, be more self sufficient when I was pregnant / we had a newborn, and we'd have some time to recover between college tuition bills.
My timeline got all screwed up waiting for the perfect man - but he is worth it
I had a horrible dream last night about having the baby. Everyone turned out healthy and ok in the dream, but it was a nightmare birth story! I wake up in a hospital bed after being “out” for a while and I’m told by a medical staff that I’ve had the baby. Where is he? I ask, and they bring him in and he’s hooked up to some crazy machine where he’s floating in a tank of water, like a fish tank, hooked up to a scuba tube sort of device giving him oxygen. They tell me this is the latest thing in newborn technology and is supposed to mimic conditions in the womb. They won’t let me take him out and hold him, and I never got skin-to-skin time. Where is my husband? I ask, and they say they sent him home since I was knocked out and baby had to be in the tank thing. There was no reason for him to be here. So then I was left alone in the room with my baby in his fish tank thing… and then I woke up. Whew. That was definitely one of those dreams where you wake up and you’re so grateful it wasn’t real.
I am totally doing that this Friday. I have the day off and I am going to keep my DD in daycare for the morning and get a pedicure...god know my feet need it. Why are my feet so flipping dry during pregnancy???
@tisunge602 We love Barracks Row!! So many good restaurants and DC donuts make us venture out there from time to time!
So it's been raining all morning, and I'm working from home today, so when the rain finally cleared about noon, I decided to go for my daily walk. Well, it was still really wet outside, so I went by myself.... Hans the long-haired dachshund, my usual walking buddy, stayed home. Maybe it's because I didn't have a short legged dog to walk faster than, maybe it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant, maybe it's because I was walking midday instead of like 7 am, or maybe it's because it's like 78 degrees and 95% humidity, but good lord, was that difficult.
I am so freaking ready to be able to exercise not pregnant. And not in the summer.
Womp womp womp.
Also Random, I sent my sisters pics of my registry since I didn't make it public because its 90% breast feeding stuff and 8% expensive stuff that I want but wouldn't have anyone buy me, and 1 item that was a decent normal gift (a super cute diaper bag). They had asked about what was so weird, and so I sent them pics just to show them how weird. Well, my sweet sister bought me the diaper bag today. I cried. I really wasn't expecting anyone to buy stuff off my registry because its sooo personal (and hidden)!
My mom is staying into the evening too so that DH and I can have a date night. Really looking forward to that!
Baby #2 due 8/11/2016