Advice and Experience - Page 2 — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Advice and Experience

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Re: Advice and Experience

  • I'm going through a loss right now. One thing that has surprised me and I think would be helpful for future victims of loss to know is that it's a really slow and sporadic process (this is a detailed, tmi post). I'm over 8 weeks but measure at more like 5-6. I found out on Monday that I have a MMC, then on Tuesday I passed a couple clots out of nowhere, thought this was it, but then it stopped. I spotted for a couple days and then last night on Thursday night I began to bleed heavily with some cramping, then it stopped again after a couple hours. It isn't steady like a period and it's normal for a natural MC to take weeks. I'm back to spotting again. 

    I am finding that walking and exercise helps to keep moving things along. I have a followup u/s on Tuesday and am hoping to have a lot cleared by then, though that might be unrealistic. If so I will probably opt for a D&E to get it done with but I'm not sure if they'll do that right afterward or not. I keep thinking I've processed and accepted it but when the bleeding picks up I'm upset and shocked all over again. 
    LFAF/Nov 16 challenge: Bad TV moms that shouldn't be celebrated


    BFP #1 10/30/15 MMC found 11/30/15 D&C 12/11/15 EDD 7/9/16
    healing comes in waves, and maybe today the wave hits the rocks and that’s ok, that’s ok, darling. you are still healing, you are still healing- Ijeoma Umebinyuo, be gentle with yourself
    BFP #2  3/21   EDD 11/28/16
    babyj0116
  • I'm trying to figure out how to deal with this. Sometimes I'm okay, other days I'm completely crushed. My water broke at 21 weeks, and I had to deliver my angel right there. It's so hard.This was my first child, conceived on my honeymoon. I'm just...completely broken.

    katelyndowdsassy91
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  • I hope those of you currently experiencing a miscarriage find peace soon. I am so sorry for your loss.

    It seems like the link in the original post by @KingLED ;for D&C is not active anymore. I'll share my story here, instead.

    I experienced an MMC on 12/14. The fetus had stopped growing at 9w2d, around 12/10. After 2 failed doses of Cytotec on 12/15 and 12/18, I scheduled a D&C for 12/22. While I initially intended to avoid the surgical route at all costs, the D&C was super easy on me. 

    D&C Process:
    Show up, do paperwork. Be brought back, change into their surgical outfit, get comfortable while being given some information, instructions, and an IV from various caring individuals. Get wheeled back to the OR, and be knocked out by anesthetic within 1-2 minutes. Wake up in another place, have a snack and extra pain meds if needed. Rest 15-30 minutes. Get dressed, see your significant other, and get wheeled out the car. 

    We picked up takeout on the drive home and walked to the dog park that afternoon. The worst part was having to wear surgical stockings for 24 hours.

    The next 2 days I did have some discomfort from too much movement/vibration from walking or riding in the car, so I took Motrin and minimized moving about until it went away. I didn't need any of the Percoset I had been using with the Cytotec after going home from the D&C.

    I continued spotting for about 4-5 days after the procedure, with no pain. 2 weeks later, I'm still passing tiny pieces of tissue every day, but no blood or pain. I go back in for a followup tomorrow.
    Married 10/12 & TTC since 09/15
    BFP #1 11/06/15 - EDD 7/14/16 - MMC 12/14/15 - D&C 12/22/15
    BFP #2 03/13/16 - EDD 11/26/16

  • Hi everyone, I'm very sorry for everyone's loss.

    I had a miscarriage on December. My Baby was suppose to be 8 weeks old; the first ultrasound I had was at 6 weeks and my baby looked fine I saw the little heart beat. during the following weeks I was feeling pretty awful, morning sickness tired and nauseated so to be honest I was feeling pretty confident my baby was growing and everything was fine. sadly this is called a missed miscarriage where my body had not acknowledge the loss.

    even though I knew there was a percentage of having a miscarriage, honestly I never though I would have one. nothing prepares a marriage for something like this, all of our hopes, dreams and love were with our baby, and after Dec 21st they were all gone.

    I'm not ashamed of telling people what happened, and I don't feel guilty I know I did the best that I could. this whole experiences has thought us so much and we will keep learning. life will never be the same, I will always have my first baby in my hearth. thing that seemed so important before seem so stupid now.. "would I gain weight? would I get stretch marks? how soon would i get to have sex with y husband again?"

    I am so grateful I have my husband with me and he is my #1 support, my family and friends who have been very there. I am not a very religious person but after this I can only turn to God and hope my baby is with him and there was a bigger reason why this happen.

    i do not feel jealous when I see pregnant women or little kids, (my has girl twins!) i just feel sad, but I'm sure this is normal and Im sure we will all get through this rough time.

    never be ashamed, and always feel proud of your baby and that small time you got to spend it together.

    to all of you who are trying now, i wish you the best of luck!!!

    thank you for the support.

    babyj0116
  • yolandamunozyolandamunoz
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited January 2016
    First of all I am sorry for your loss.

    today I had my 2nd u/s to find out I had a blighted ovum. My sac was no bigger than my first u/s at 5 weeks and it was supposed to be 8w according to the last period date.

    It was my first pregnancy and I am just so sad that this happened to me. My doctor told me to wait a week before we decide to have a d&c, I already have an appointment next Wednesday.

    This is so painful, I had all these hopes and plans and joy... I still feel pregnant, bloated with sore boobs, and hungry...

    I have the amazing support of my wonderful husband, and my parents and sister, who are the only ones who know, though they live abroad. It was really hard to tell them but at the same time I feel their support and that they share my grief.

    thank you for your shared experiences and your kind wishes. I know we will get better soon, I have hope.
    Married 06.21.14 / TTC since 11.15 /
    BFP 01.03.2016 / MMC 6w5d D&C 02.2016 // BFP 05.06.16 / natural MC 05.12.16
    Benched 06.2016-08.2016 / TTC again 09.2016! On a diet. Cranky.
    BFP 10.02.2016 / NT scan at 12w looked normal / Anatomy scan at 20w everything ok
    Team blue! / EDD June 11th 2017
    DAVID ROGER was born on May 23rd at 37 weeks.

    Architect, Peruvian living in Chile. I love art, opera and good chocolate.
    Started PhD studies in Architecture on 2017.
    Fur mom of a rescued miniature poodle called Luke Skywalker.


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • First of all, I would like to say how incredibly sorry I am for everyone and that the loss of our babies is the thing that ties us all together. I had a miscarriage 5 days before Thanksgiving of 2015 at 10 weeks. Next week Thursday, June 16, was my due date and all of the feelings and emotions that I have been trying to live with for the past 5 months have all come rushing back. It's like I am reliving them telling me my baby has no heartbeat like it just happened yesterday. But because it's been 5+ months, I am the only one still feeling those emotions and I think that is the hardest part, feeling alone. My husband said he was sad when it happened but he wasn't connected to the baby like I was. My friends and family think it was sad, at the time, but they don't understand why I haven't moved on yet. I have a little boy that just turned 3 so people constantly say to me, at least you have him. And yes, I am blessed and honored to be his Mom, but one child does not replace another. 

    I hope to find some peace one day and I pray that soon we will be blessed with our rainbow baby. But even if that day comes, I will never forget about the child I never got to meet. 
    http://justjensjourney.wordpress.com
  • I know that miscarriage is a common natural occurance, but it is so hard to accept that. Seeing all of your stories makes my heart hurt worse for us all. I am currently having my third consecutive loss. First at home. My first was a D&C that I had a little trouble with accepting and my second was a stillbirth. I am so confused right now and  second guessing my decision. I have been passing tissue since 6/1. I thought I was done but I started again today. To top it off I go back to work tomorrow, and have an out of town business meeting Sunday thru Tuesday. I don't know if I should go that far from home or fly! I can't imagine if I have to do any of the process on a flight!  
  • @justjensjourney   It's so hard when outside people do not understand, and I feel like a lot of that is from how little most people know about miscarriage. They don't want to even think about it so they don't stop to think about it from our point of view. This last time we weren't trying so no one really knows what happend at all. It has not been easy to feel alone. My first loss was in February 2015 and it still hurts.
  • moonlady-2moonlady-2
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited July 2016
    I had an ultrasound a week before and everything looked good. Saw baby moving around, saw heart beating. Then I started having light brown spotting on Tuesday, when I was 10 weeks 3 days. I tried to be calm and was thinking "a little brown spotting is normal". I also googled like crazy and it seemed fine. Wednesday it turned into dark brown spotting + some pink. Plus I felt like I was about to start my period. So I broke down and called my midwife and she basically said that it can be normal and if it gets worse/turns bright red to let them know. Wednesday night it was full on red and I started having horrible cramps. I actually threw up because it hurt so much. I knew something wasn't right, but I forced myself not to call my midwife until the morning because I had the mentality "what could they do?"

    So in the morning I called. They had me come in pretty soon after. She did a pelvic exam and said the blood looked old. She made it seem like everything was fine--I felt calm and reassured. Then I went for an ultrasound.

    This is the worst part. The ultrasound tech put the probe on my stomach and moved it around. She asked me "Are you sure you're pregnant? Cuz there's NOTHING in here." With this horrible attitude in her voice. At which point I just broke down crying. So insensitive.

    I wish I knew that it's possible to have a miscarriage after hearing the heartbeat. Everything I read made it sound like once you hear the heart beat you're basically in the clear.

    I wish I knew that ultrasound technicians can be so insensitive/lacking in compassion.

    I wish I knew to stock up on pads while I'm pregnant. I was always a tampon girl and I wasn't expecting to miscarry. So I didn't have any and it was horrible.
    31 years young
    from Seattle(ish)
    5 years married
    FTM and PGAL
    EDD is 12/23/17
    -- It's a BOY! ---





    captainfoxtrotjgl907
  • I lost my first pregnancy in March. Everything seemed to be going great. We heard Bridger's strong heartbeat at 10 weeks and again at 14. Because I live in rural Alaska, we did not go in for an ultrasound until 18 weeks. When we got to our appointment, the baby had no heartbeat and was only measuring around 10 weeks. The doctor was shocked that we had heard a strong heartbeat at 14. My body did not recognize the miscarriage. My uterus continued to expand, so I looked 18 weeks pregnant and never lost symptoms. Due to fear of complications should I choose to have a natural miscarriage, I elected to have a D&C. On March 25th, Bridger (we have no way to know for sure if it was a boy or girl, but that was the boy name we picked out, and my husband didn't feel right using the name again) was officially born. The following months were some of the hardest I have ever gone through. Thanks to the support of my husband, we made it through. Some days are still harder than others. Bridger's due date was August 23rd, and I know that day will be a difficult one. Luckily, the hospital we go to works with a church that has a memorial for babies that come into the world too soon. It has been helpful to have a place to mourn. Amazingly enough, my husband and I conceived again, and the baby will be due March 25 (one year after losing our first). We are praying that everything will go smoothly, but despite choosing to go to Anchorage for much of the first trimester care, I can't help feeling anxious. 
    JGL
  • We had an ultrasound at 6 weeks 4 days and I got to see a heartbeat. Dr informed me that she saw something else on ultrasound that could possibly be a yolk sac or another baby. She seemed to be convinced it was a yolk sac. I went in for another appt at 11 weeks and dr couldn't see a heartbeat. She sent me immediately to the hospital to get a better ultrasound. Unfortunately, I couldn't get my results til the next morning. I found out I was pregnant with identical twins and neither of my babies had a heartbeat. My Dr recommended the D&C which I did 2 days later. I just got back the genetic results and found out they were boys with no genetic abnormalities. I keep going through over and over what could have happened. They did detect a small blood clot near the gestational sac which could have been the cause. I'm terrified to go through this again and wondering if I should next time go to an OB with a better ultrasound machine. I can't help thinking that this could have been prevented. 
  • edited September 2017
    Hi everyone, 

    I'm sorry for your loss. I too had a miscarriage. My precious little angel would have been my second child.  Unfortunately, I miscarried at 6 weeks 6 days. 

    Wednesday, August 23, 2017 was one of the most difficult days of my life. As I sat and talked to the doctor he told me that 25% of pregnancies result in miscarriages, at that moment I could hear everything and I understood it but it just felt like this shouldn't be happening. It felt like it was a bad dream and I was watching. When he did the ultrasound and showed me what was the yolk sac and could not find the baby, I knew this nightmare was true. The bleeding was my little angel.

    Nothing prepares you for this, movies have it all wrong.  It's a constant flow of blood for a week possibly two (Sorry tmi).

    My heart felt broken and I kept wishing that I could go back to the day before or even last week. I took a blood test that said I was pregnant but low.  Followed by taking the same test a week later that confirmed I was no longer pregnant.  I didn't need this test to confirm what I already knew.  The amount of  blood I am passing is painful enough and confirmation.

    These dreams of holding my baby in my arms and watching the baby play with its big brother will always be charished.  The nights my husband kissed my belly and my son kissed my belly as he would say love you baby  I will always cherish those memories.

    I know that I will get pregnant again but my heart is so broken for the angel that I will never get to hold or kiss. My heart feels so broken that I could not protect my little angel.

    I keep reminding myself to trust in God and his plan.  

    Please tell me it gets better. 

    Xoxo
  • So sorry for all your losses. I totally feel your pain. I turned 45 on July 19th but found out on June 24th, when I was still 44, that I was pregnant. I bought a Clearblue pregnancy test kit that afternoon because my period was 6 days late at that point. I totally expected it to be negative, but it IMMEDIATELY went positive seconds after I used it. I freaked out, but in a bad way! My boyfriend was out of the state due to an event he goes to every year and wasn't going to be back until the 27th. I ended up taking another pregnancy test the next morning and it too was positive. I had concerns because I had a dental procedure with an antibiotic called Arestin a week earlier and my mom and I Googled about it and read that it could cause horrible problems in unborn babies, namely, it could adversely affect bone development. My mom suggested that I might want to consider getting the abortion pill as a result. I felt half relieved but half sad at the same time over that thought.

    Anyway, I told my boyfriend the night he got back and he was just as shocked as I'd been finding out. But he was hugely supportive and said whatever we did was completely up to me because it was my body. We ended up deciding to go for testing with a genetic counselor. The first one we saw turned out to be horrible, so he found a great place through his manager at work and the doctor was great. She even gave us huge relief by informing us that the Arestin was a non-issue before the 20th week (I had it done when I was 4 weeks and found out I was pregnant when I was 5 weeks). We went on and scheduled an ultrasound on July 28th to determine when the CVS testing could begin, but then at that appointment, the technician seemed to have an issue. When I told her how far along I was (10 weeks, 2 days), she said it looked earlier than that. She left the room to get a doctor, but neither my boyfriend nor I thought anything of it. He should have because he works in medicine (he's a veterinary technician), but he was overly tired from not sleeping after working overnight for 13 hours. The doctor introduced himself and told us that, unfortunately, there was no heartbeat. It turned out the baby stopped growing at 7 weeks, 2 days.

    It didn't truly hit me until the next day. After that, I cried at various times. I had a D&C on July 31st and suddenly burst into tears shortly after coming out of the anesthesia. The worst was when I cried for an hour straight the Saturday after. I felt so alone, even though I have my boyfriend, my mom and my two best friends who have all been so supportive.

    My boyfriend and I have been going to therapy since August 15th after this tragedy. It's definitely helping. We're also looking forward to the future and planning on trying again by the winter. I'm doing as much research as possible and glad to be able to talk with other women who've gone through the same experiences.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. It's difficult to talk about, mainly because I feel so emotional about it.  But the more you talk about the easier it gets to accept.  

    Sending love and prayers. 
  • Moved to 11 weeks yesterday and woke up to bleeding this morning. Experienced a complete loss at the hospital this morning. Not quite sure how to decipher the mixture of emotions I have right now, but thankful to have this board for some support. 
    JJMNO1616krista_jmknottie7b4e61387771ddf2
  • Found out on 10/4 that baby no longer had a heartbeat... We should have been 12 weeks but baby stopped developing around 10.5 weeks. It was the only ultrasound my husband missed as he was sick and he is fighting feelings of guilt for not being there. I am not copings very well at all... It was my first pregnancy at age 41 and I was so excited, it was finally my turn. Finding out that we would never hold our baby was the hardest thing I've ever heard. On top of it all, I had to hold our baby inside for several more days as my husband's illness was far more dangerous. They were afraid he would end up septic if the infection was not immediately removed, so he had his surgery on Friday and I had to hold out until Monday for the D&C. I had sort of hoped to miscarry naturally over the weekend and avoid surgery, but that didn't happen. Natural miscarriage would have at least given my the chance to hold and say goodbye to my little strawberry, but I am hoping the D&C will eventually give us some answers. We have chosen to send off the tissues for testing,but still waiting for the information to come back and that could take another month or more! I just feel like I have no energy, no reason to get up in the morning. I can't work with my brain constantly so distracted as I have a very safety sensitive position. I have never felt so lost before in my life. How do you get past this? I know many couples go thru this, any suggestions? Just trying to figure out how to move forward...
  • So sorry for your loss. Mine was recent as well. Miscarriage at 11 weeks. Saw the baby and heartbeat at 7 weeks, so it came as quite a shock. Wishing you strength for healing. These last 3 weeks have been tough, but each day gets just a little bit easier. Good luck to you if you decide to try again.
  • Sorry for everyone’s losses, this is very difficult to get through and even though this is my second miscarriage, experience doesn’t alleviate any pain, and in fact it may hurt more. I got married about 4 years ago and after a couple of months, my husband and I decided to start a family. 5 months later I was pregnant. We were ecstatic and began planning for the little one and having dreams of our little one. When I went in for our 8 week ultrasound, the technician gave me a funny look that prompted me to cry. My dr called me the next day and told me that my baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks. A few months after, we wanted to try again. During a wedding, my breasts began to ache. I thought I must be pregnant again! That evening I as I was rubbing my breast for the pain, I found a lump. Just as any worried woman, I started googling everything and it gave me some relief that it was probably fibroids. I scheduled an appt anyways to check things out. This was in sept 2014, I was 32. I did a mammogram and they saw something so they  also did a core needle biopsy the same day. 2 days later they called and I heard breast CANCER! So instead of bringing life into the world, I had to save my own. Next 6-9 months was treatment and recovery. Now 3 years later, I decided to stop taking tamoxifen about a year ago in hopes to again start a family. My husband and I started trying again in Aug. I was able to get pregnant right away. I didn’t want to get too excited yet until I reached 12 weeks. I went into for my 8 week ultrasound and we heard the heartbeat and saw the little raspberry! My husband was super excited and inside I was too but didn’t want to get my hopes up. So week 12 finally approaches and I started spotting. Spotted for 4-5 days and then had my 12 week ultrasound on Nov 14. The technician again had a worried look on her face and said she was sorry to me and my husband, the baby had stopped Dev around 9 weeks and I already started to bleed and miscarry. I was devasted and cried for a few days. Every time I looked at my belly it was a reminder of the loss. How can my belly be bigger yet, nothing there. I took misoprotol and I had blood clots the first day and terrible cramping. I took all 3 doses and I didn’t seem to feel anything else coming out. It’s now been 2 weeks and still bleeding. I don’t think the entire fetus is out...have my dr appt on thurs to check. Hopefully I don’t have to do a DNC. Now That I’ve had 2 miscarriages, when do you stop trying? My dr said we will do some lab work to see what’s wrong but I don’t know if I can go through another loss or even giving a chance for the cancer to come back. How many times did you guys try? 
    krista_jm
  • So happy to see the forum! My DH and I have been married two years before deciding to start trying to have a family. I had my IUD out and never had another period, got pregnant right away. For some reason I've always been anxious I wouldn't be able to have kids (just some deep-seeded fear...), so DH and I were over the moon with that first home pregnancy test! It was so hard to wait to tell family, but we wanted to see the little guy first. Went in for the first US at 10w6d just yesterday. At first the doctor said my uterus was measuring closer to 9w but he couldn't find any embryo. He sent me to the specialist, who did get a picture but it was only 8w and with no heartbeat.

    I'm opting to do misoprostol to get this over with but am super nervous. I just have no idea what to expect or and how painful it will be. I'm supposed to travel internationally for work next week... maybe I should wait until I'm back in case it takes longer than a few days? Any advice?
  • I'm so happy to see a group of such supportive ladies!

    I experienced at 6 weeks in May of 2017. It was our second baby and I knew from the beginning that something was wrong with the pregnancy. About a week after getting my positive pregnancy test, my fears were confirmed. I did go in for an ultrasound and it showed a baby, but no heartbeat. I mc naturally and it was one of the hardest things that I have ever been through!

    Please don't give up hope ladies! Your rainbow babies will be come!
  • I made a short film that I hope will provide additional healing with this. Blessings. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ND9YZD1wE1E
  • This all happened two weeks ago for me and I think I’ve just forgotten how to breathe.  I cry every morning and night.  I don’t know if it’s the hormones or if I need medical help.  I know this just wasn’t meant to be this time but I can’t even imagine finding the energy to try again.  When does the sadness pass?
    syviaclarkson
  • Sorry to hear about everyone's losses. I went through my first miscarriage in February at about 8/9 weeks pregnant. I started having bleeding and cramping right away, after HCG levels and an ultrasound we knew the miscarriage was inevitable and I miscarried about 2.5 weeks later (on Valentine's day). It was one of the hardest things I think I have ever been through emotionally, but I was fairly lucky that the cramping and bleeding were minimal. I was so scared to get pregnant again and how worried I would be... But got pregnant right away and I was surprised at how estatic and not anxious I was. I decided that I wanted to wait until closer to 12 weeks to have a dating ultrasound and hcg levels because last time it was agonizing that they could not confirm a miscarriage diagnosis and I had repeat testing for over 2 weeks. This time I thought if it's going to happen it will happen but I want to enjoy being pregnant while I am. I had terrible morning sickness which I thought was a good sign, but on my ultrasound this Friday they said that the baby was only 6 weeks with no heartbeat (I should be 11 weeks). I have another ultrasound to confirm tomorrow and will opt for a D&C if needed. Despite my pharmacy background, I am unrationslly terrified to take the Misoprostol and feel more comfortable with the control of having the D&C and moving on. 

    Miscarriage are one of the hardest things we have to go through, and I find it helpful to talk about it and build supportive groups. Sadly it seems to be more of a societal taboo topic, but when I do talk about it there are so many people who open up and share their journey. I find it helps to hear of those stories and how they made it through. It may feel lonely right now, but you are not alone. Many of us go on to have successful pregnancies even after multiple losses. Take care of yourselves and when/if you are ready to try keep thinking positive, hopefull thoughts and know that you have an army of women who are sending you positive thoughts and prayers, and who are standing behind you through the difficulties, anxieties, happy outcomes, and devastating outcomes. Sending hugs to all of you!
    hopeful207
  • jagr27jagr27
    Fifth Anniversary First Comment Photogenic
    member
    Hi there

    I recently went through a loss at 10 weeks. Heartbeat stopped. It was terrible listening to the silent u/sd and hearing .. Oh, im sorry.... My doc suggested a d & e which i had and glad I did because i have miscarried before ( never this late) and its so painful physically and emotionally. My heart goes out to those that did it naturally.

    Im 1-1/2 weeks post d & e and still.. Well, i guess grieving and completely hormonly imbalanced. This one has been so hard for me. I have 2 children, my Everythg, and we were so excited for the 3rd. We probably put the cart before the horse, but we started planning and doing all the things you do upon being prego.

     I think most of all, im so mad. Is that what you guys are feeling? Last week, embarrassingly at work, i cried, a lot, like couldnt stop crying. I am so embarrassed. Now im just, well, like i dont even know. Feeling really short tempered, not interested in talking to anyone, just kinda "leave me alone" attitude . I know your body does what its going to do but i still get so mad about it.

    Im still dreaming of having a third but at the same time i don't want to go through this again. Im afraid after this my husband is done, i think he was so upset over it, yet i still long for a 3rd.

    Ugh... Just looking for support and seeing if anyone else feels this way post loss

    Thanks and love and support to all
  • Nobody warned me about what to expect. My doctor gave me a very vague idea but I had no idea. I read an experience similar to mine on this thread so that’s how I knew what was going on. I’m going to share mine in case it helps another woman. 

    I basically went through labor. It was the worst pain I have ever gone through in my life. The cramps/contractions got more frequent and stronger throughout the day. I kept having the urge to have a bowel movement but nothing happened. Eventually the cramps/contractions got so close together that it was just constant pain with waves of sharper even more intense pain on top. I was rocking and moaning. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t think. I finally got up to get in the car to go to the ER and I noticed it felt better to move. It was torture to sit still in that car. When I got to the ER I kept feeling like clots were passing but no clots came out. When I wiped in the bathroom the stuff on the paper was different. It was sticky and there was some clear and pink gel like stuff. I could feel something was there but it wasn’t coming out. 

    I got pain management medicine and they did a pelvic exam. They removed the intact embryo in its sac. I basically gave birth. I got to see it and have some time with it before they sent it for testing. 

    No one prepared me for how painful it would be or that I would feel Iike I was in labor. It was awful. The worst pain I have ever been in. But it was over in a couple hours. 
  • Hey everyone. I've read a bunch of your stories and now I'm sitting here bawling. I know miscarriage is a common thing, but it seems to be way to common. 
    This is my first post here. I just lost a baby at 11weeks. I am a mother of 2 so this is my first miscarriage. I started having abdominal and lower back pain last Friday night, but no bleeding si I held off until the morning to go and get things checked out at the hospital. My beta was great, the did the screening ultrasound and showed me baby, heard the heartbeat, they said everything was fine. They sent me for more ultrasounds to see If any of my organs around were causing the pain. They told me my pain was due to a cyst on my right ovary which had a tear. But insisted baby would be completely fine, and that the cyst would resolve on it's own. I still had the cramping from the "cyst" but had started bleeding at about 12ish. I chalked it down the the cyst.. maybe it ruptured. Maybe because its torn it's supposed to bleed. NO ONE TOLD ME ANYTHING. Threw a pad on and went back to bed. The bleeding continued through the night but hubby had a couple of drinks before bed, and we live 35 minutes out of town from the hospital and was in no shape to drive myself. So at about 7am we finally got in the truck and headed to the hospital. They checked my Beta again and the new ER dr said it was a little bit lower than Saturday but I'm almost at that mark anyways where it would start to be falling down some so he wanted to do another ultrasound just to see what was going on. 2 hours later I found out there was no fetus and that my beta didnt drop a little, it dropped 50,000!!!! I went from like 88,000 to 35,000 in less than 24hrs. Basically o guess in the middle of the night when i was totally out of it, I had to poop. I went poop and heard a splash and didnt think twice about it. Wiped flushed went back to bed. That splash would've had to have been the baby. 

    It is so scary how quickly things can go from good to bad. Basically 9 hours before I figure I miscarried, I saw my baby, and heard its heartbeat and was told everything looks great! 
  • My experience was similar to alot that I read here and I am so grateful for everyone who has shared. I wasn't prepared to miscarry (not that anyone ever is), but I got through it by reading these posts. Here's my story, sorry it's so long...I'm still processing it all. This was my first pregnacy.

    At my confirmation appointment a week and a half ago, my OB performed an ultrasound and basically went from all smiles to panic. It was seriously like someone flipped a switch. She showed me the embryo with a heartbeat and stated the gestational sac was too small. She rattled off all kinds of things that could be wrong (ectopic, molar, early miscarriage, etc.), referred me to a specialist, and left the room. I definitely got the vibe she didn't want to deal with whatever was going on with me.

    I went to the specialist the next day, who performed an ultrasound. He told me I was about 7weeks, and the baby (yes, he even called it a baby which made me feel like a human rather than a science experiment gone wrong) had a strong heartbeat. He did say the small gestational sac was a concern, but that it was early and he has seen these types of situations go on to be healthy pregnancies. He asked that I come back in two weeks so he could check on the progress. I told my partner I appreciated the optimism, but felt we should mentally prepare for the worst.

    I experienced mild spotting after the ultrasounds (a bit of blood when wiping after using the toilet) which I assumed was normal and I went on with life. I had a business trip scheduled for the next week and packed some pads and tylenol in case things went side ways. Looking back, I wish I would done more homework or the OBs would've given me an idea of what to expect in the event I miscarried .

    My first night out of town, I returned to my hotel room feeling a little crampy. I couldn't tell if it was a stomach thing (my team had gone out for tapas that night and something tasted off) or a uterine thing. When I hoped in the shower, it was clear the spotting had turned into bleeding. It wasn't a gush. It was more like day 1 of my period. I was concerned I was miscarrying so I text my partner to give him a heads up in case things got worse. Unfortunately, they did.

    The pain went from cramping to full on contractions. The nightmare lasted 6 miserable hours. The pain was so bad at times I couldn't move or speak. Not sure if it was the miscarriage or the tapas, but there were also episodes of diarrhea, vomiting, and chills. The bleeding remained pretty steady and I passed about 6 quarter size blood clots. At one point, I checked my cervix. It was firm and closed which was frustrating because I felt like my body was trying so hard to expel everything in my uterus while at the same time hold on to it!

    When the pain was bearable, I was reading the posts here and googling to figure out what the heck I was supposed to do. There I was half way across the country, alone (except for my poor partner who was on the phone), paralyzed by pain. I called my OBs on call number, which was a complete waste. They basically said "yep sounds like you could be miscarrying" and "go to the ER if you bleed through multiple pads in an hour". All I could think was "great, I'll just keep laying on this bathroom floor (dont worry I eventually made it to the bed) until it gets so bad that I call 911 or miraculously this stops." It was seriously the most pain I had ever been in. Eventually, the contractions started to ease up. By morning I was exhausted but could move around again without much pain. I still had light bleeding. 

    I ended up cutting my business trip short and flew home that afternoon. I didnt want to risk having another round of misery all alone. Once home, I passed a clot the size of the palm of my hand. It didnt hurt and I didnt have anymore contractions. I visited the OB, who originally told me something was wrong, for an ultrasound to confirm I had miscarried and passed everything. After that nightmare the last thing I wanted was a D&C. While I was sad to see the little heartbeat was gone, I was relieved my body was able to handle everything on its own.

    The light bleeding has continued. I'm now dealing with the side effects of my hormones going back to normal. I've had a several days of bad headaches, spontaneous crying (seriously over the dumbest things), nausea/upset stomach, and fatigue. I'm still getting used to the idea that I'm not pregnant anymore.





  • I found out this past Thursday that my first pregnancy was not viable. Instead of celebrating the 12th week this past Saturday mark by annoucing our pregnancy, my mom came up to stay with us and held me as a cried and began to bleed.

    Everyone in my life has been wonderful and supportive. Its shocking to hear how many women have gone through this no matter how much research you did. Nothing prepares you for this. 

    I realize that I am 'lucky' that i knew this was happening before it did, but even then my Doctor wasnt very informative when I asked "What happens now?". I have an appointment sometime this week with my gynecologist. Thats it. Thats all I was told. So now I am stuck going onto Google, and instead of nursery ideas, I'm looking up what to expect medically for this. I know this is not my fault; I did everything I was supposed to do. I know that this is natures cruel joke as I watch others in my community who smoke, drink, and do drugs the whole pregnancy and get to take thier perfect beautiful children home. 

    I'm scared. I am praying that the bleeding stops so I can have a D&C. I'm positive I can handle and recover if I just dont have to do this at home. 

    To others reading these for comfort: you are not alone. It is not your fault. 

    beccabek92
  • ktk1989ktk1989
    First Comment
    member
    I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. It’s so hard, I’m going through it too. I had my 8 week appointment on feb 1, there wasn’t a baby, mine stopped growing very early on. 

    It wasnt happening on its on its own so I took some medicine that the doctor gave me on feb 6. I’ve been going back and getting blood tests ever since, last week my hcg was down to 17 and this week hopefully it’s down to below 5

    anyways that was the long way of saying that it’s been a long process for me as well. 

    Hope everything gets gets better for you!
  • I am now going through my fourth loss. I went in at 5.6 weeks due to bleeding and was told I had lost one of two only to find out today a week later that the second was gone as well. I was hoping to at least see it but my uterus was empty just empty. I had only been spotting since last week and some how it was gone, just gone. I am beside myself and sad as well as angry. I have an appointment next week to see if I can find a reason for so many... I would wish that no one ever have to go through the pain of loss. I’m so sorry to all you ladies. It’s heartbreaking and confusing. ❤️
  • elmann1elmann1
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited July 16
    I'm currently going through my first loss. I never spotted but had what felt like period cramps from the very beginning. After sex at around 5 weeks I bled light red. Went to obgyn with no symptoms but that light red discharge-like blood the night before. After a transvaginal ultrasound she discovered I didn't have anything in my gestational sac and it measured about 4 weeks. We waited another week to see if anything appeared, but it never it remained at 4 weeks and empty. My HCG was:
    5 weeks: 1841
    5.5 weeks: 2470
    6 weeks: 5762
    8 weeks: 7407

    MXT shot:
    7 days post shot: 3400
    14 days post shot: 94

    Very abnormal levels so they assumed it's an ectopic pregnancy based on the numbers. Had three ultrasounds, nothing found in my tubes but I guess it could be anywhere. A couple sharp stabs on my right side but I usually have that before pregnancy since my gallbladder surgery. Had my first round of methotrexate yesterday and have been cramping and starting to shed some uterine lining. I'm still shocked by it all, especially since I felt pretty regularly pregnant like I did with my first, minus the blood after sex. 7 days after the shot I started bleeding clots and having what felt like labor pains. Worst pain of my life. Went to ER and still nothing in tubes. Passed the sac and was able to inspect it. This has felt like a nightmare. We will try again after three months and pray that one sticks. I'm 31 and have a 3.5 year old at home. She's my everything and she and my husband have been my rocks. They give me strength when I feel like I'm falling apart again. It's so hard to explain the pain after a loss. I feel like a failure but I also know that I've done nothing to cause this. If anyone is reading this and is currently in the process of a loss, you are not alone. There are thousands of women who feel the same emptiness and despair and we are here to hold your hand throughout it. The amount of support I received from doctors in the ER who also experienced multiple losses was incredible. I had no idea. I feel like before this loss I had blinders on, in hopes that I never had a loss. That was insensitive of me. Throughout this process, I've had to go to triage for blood tests and every time I go, there are women coming in going into labor, others who are having a pregnancy scare; bleeding or cramping and many others who were also suffering an early loss. It is incredible what the female body is capable of, and I truly believe things will work out for us. We didn't deserve this. I recently read James Van Der Beek's Instagram post on miscarriage and it's so beautifully put. 

    ruby0902
  • ruby0902ruby0902
    10 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    @elmann1 - thank you for sharing your experience - it really is so helpful to know when you're not alone. I'm in the midst of my second loss in a row and it's scary and heartbreaking. The biggest thing that is helping me is just being and sharing with others who have come to know this sad reality. I'm also going through some testing and have begun seeing a fertility acupuncturist which has been a really interesting experience so far! I feel hopeful for the next time we decide to try, which will likely be sometime this Fall ♡
  • Hey everyone - just wanted to update that I went for RPL testing after two consecutive miscarriages (and no live births) and have tested positive for both Lupus Anticoagulant/Antiphospholid Syndrome AND Thyroid Peroxidase Antibodies - both of which can cause recurrent miscarriage. Not sure yet if/how the two are related, and antiphospholipid syndrome is rare from what I understand. I had additional thyroid testing this week and I'm meeting with my dr. next week to discuss results and treatment options.

    My advice is to advocate for testing! I know answers come back for only about 50% of patients, but in my case I would continue to get pregnant and miscarry until these conditions can be treated. Has anyone else ever gone through either of these and were able to successfully deliver? I am hopeful for the future, but still with a lot of uncertainty. 
  • effy85effy85
    First Comment
    member
    Hi all - i am trying to find an online group for some help... me and my husband decided to start a family back in Jan 2019. I did all my tests to ensure i was ok... mid cycle i had some spotting and was told to go for a checkup and they would a very small fibroid inside the uterus... they told me it was so small and embedded it could cause no harm to having a baby.
    So we tried in March, April and May - no luck. After a break we tried again in July and with both our hearts feeling that our time will never come, I found out I was pregnant. Shocked!!!
    I was only 3 weeks due to early detection kits and had so much stress with exams...unfortunately on 4 weeks and 4 days i had bleeding and lost the baby. Hospital did checks from bloods, scans etc and a week later it was confirmed I had a miscarriage, baby was gone and hcg was going back to normal.
    Physically I think I am ok.... pregnancy feelings have gone, still bleed a bit but i am on panty liners and not full blown bed time pads now.. 
    I know I need to heal and hopefully we can try again but i am so scared.... Scared it will take months.... scared once I do get pregnant that I will have to go through this all over again.... i am a worrier and knowing that this happened once... is going to be me paranoid... all through out my pregnancy i will be worried.. and its worse since its the first... 
    My age also doesnt help.. 33 soon to be 34 and hubby is 43... 
    any help would be great.
  • @effy85 First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! It's a devastating experience and I wish no one ever had to go through it. Everyone has their own unique experience responding to this kind of emotional and physical trauma, but I will say that a lot of the feelings you're experiencing are totally normal - try not to lose hope! The grieving process is tough, and it creates this heavy feeling of pressure that time is uncontrollably slipping away from us. I felt the same after my last miscarriage and I'm similar age to you - on the back half of 33 and DH will be 38 in a few weeks. We dont have any live children yet. I will say that the time pressure feeling lessened once I was able to put some distance between me and the D&C operation/recovery. It's truly a process and you'll have good days and bad days. 

    Also, what happened to you was not your fault!! You mentioned being stressed about exams that week, but I promise you, that did not cause your miscarriage. The majority of miscarriages are caused by some sort of chromosomal abnormality as the cells begin splitting - in my mind, it's nature's way of eliminating the suffering for our nonviable embryos. There's nothing you could have done differently to prevent that. And while it's frustrating to go through multiple cycles without getting that BFP, you and your husband still got pregnant relatively quickly based on the "standard guidelines" that say 50% will be successful in the first three months and 90% of couples will be successful within a year. You have ~20% chance each cycle. I know that doesn't help when you are really ready to kick off a family though.

    And there is hope! 98% of women will go on to have a healthy pregnancy after a miscarriage - and you're actually more fertile in the months after.  I have great hope that you will be successful!!

    You should take all the time you need to emotionally recover before you start trying again. No matter what you do, it will be scary the next time you guys are pregnant and that is normal too. There are great boards on here when that time comes, with many women who are or have been in your shoes (check out the TTCAL and PGAL boards when you're ready)

    Finally, should the unthinkable happen and you do miscarry again, be an advocate for recurrent pregnancy loss (RPL) testing! Like I said, only ~2% of women will miscarry twice in a row - unfortunately I am one of them. I lost my last baby (a boy) at 12 weeks in June 2019. It was really hard to have another miscarriage, but I'm doing okay and I'm still really hopeful! I know it's not my fault - I just want to keep pushing on and pushing forward.

    I went through the RPL testing, and am coming back positive for lupus anticoagulant and some potential thyroid issues, which can contribute to recurrent miscarriages. I'm getting answers and setting myself up to be as healthy as possible for Round 3, which will begin about 8 months since my last conception. I know it'll still be scary as hell next time I get pregnant, but I'll do everything I can to be successful. I just know we have to keep trying to realize our dream, even if it's really tough.  We will make it!
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