Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Random Thoughts Thread
NTNP since 11/12, actively trying since 8/14
11/15: Letrozole, Ovidrel, TI = BFP!!!
Beta #1(14dpo)=349, Beta #2(18dpo)=2,805
12/17/15: Got to see the heartbeat (105bpm)!
1/25/16: NT scan = normal (HB=163bpm)
EDD: 8/10/16
8/8/16: Baby boy born @ 12:25am, 8lbs, 20.5 inches
5/18/17: BFP!!! (11dpo)
Beta #1(12dpo)=176.4, Beta #2(15dpo)=607.1
I feel ya! I think it's good to let him know how you are feeling about the long trip. It doesn't sound very fun being x weeks pregnant while sitting in a car for 8 hours with a small child. Would he be open to hearing you if you laid out some pros and cons: im super preggo, and I'm taking on the responsibility of LO while we are away? Or a trip is not relaxing to me during pregnancy?
If he's insistent would he be interested in breaking up the drive? Like maybe drive 4 hours 1 day, stay in a hotel for 1 night and then continue the next? (Adds cost, some people just like to get there...) Would he be willing to bargain to a place a little closer? Or maybe instead of a whole week, 2-3 days? Could you get some child care for LO for a short time so the 2 of you could enjoy each other?
Regardless of your approach I hope you guys can come to some sort of compromise that works for your family!
I thought our last weekend away would be our last before LOs arrival in early July. My DH is pushing for another weekend in June. We live about 20-30min north of Plymouth MA and he found a good deal on a hotel. He really wants to be near the ocean. I really want to be near the hospital.
I think that 20-30 min isn't so bad tho considering I commute 40-60min every day so technically this is closer than work... still I am not keen on the idea of sleeping in a bed that isn't mine since my back seems to be extra sensitive these days.
i had to chuckle at your line "he wants to be near the ocean. I want to be near the hospital." I already feel that way--And I would absolutely feel that way if I was in my 30+ weeks! 20-30 minutes isn't bad. But I do think being away from home is just harder right now.
Maybe part of my hesitation is also that I've been having awful insomnia. At least when I am home I can come downstairs and watch a show to help pass the time. In a hotel room, I am just trapped in bed.
Anyway. Thanks for the ideas and good luck with negotiating your own weekend plans!
@lillebowski23 you crack me up!!!
Also, just sat down to take my BP since I haven't done that this week. It started out high, but I finally got a normal reading after a) going to the bathroom and b) relaxing by listening to Kenny Loggins. Ha!
eta the part of the post the bump ate:
i'm glad we figured out the trip thing too. It will be good--and needed--family time. I've been tired and grumpy. I need some time for us all to have fun and remember that we don't just love each other, we like each other too!
I am religious about taking my vitamins in the morning and haven't missed a day since I got pregnant. At dinner, I'd say I take my vitamins probably 4/7 days a week. Sometimes I forget.
I occasionally leg cramps, but I don't think it has anything to do with the supplement, tho. I seem to get them when I am not properly hydrated. These days, I find that the term "properly hydrated" means I am drinking at least 1.5 gallons of water a day, and that is challenging for me without little one to care for plus whatever other responsibilities you might have! However, if you are not getting plenty of fluid that might be part of the issue. I have a 32 oz and a 48 oz Nalgene that I alternate and I try to drink at least 2-3 of those a day.
That having been said, I am not a doctor! If your doc recommends trying magnesium, it can't hurt to try particularly if it means better sleep! If you don't want to spend the $$ on a separate supplement, you could try drinking more and/or switching to a calcium + magnesium supplement so that you are getting more bang for your buck.
Good luck!
Anything that would help me sleep would be welcome!!
If you take a supplement with magnesium and other minerals be aware that calcium binds the bowels and can cause constipation while magnesium does the opposite. So make sure the ratio is the same of calcium-magnesium if you take one with both (or not a higher calcium ratio.)
I like to take the magnesium and increase it on nights i need more help sleeping or need more help with constipation, and decrease the dose at other times. It says on the bottle of "calm" how to do that. Just don't buy the calm with added calcium if you want to have it help with constipation.
Good luck mama!!!
And good luck with the leg cramps and such too, @emsmama15 I've been getting them lately as well. I woke up with one Charlie horse that was so bad, my calf was sore all day.
Have fun and be safe @Sporty1216.
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
Oh and then we left the store and he held my hand on the way to the car. It was so sweet.
Married 5/30/15
TTC #1 June 2015
BFP #1 9/28/15, EDD 6/10/16. DS born 5/23/16!
TTC #2 May 2017
BFP #2 m/c 11/18/17 5w5d
BFP #3 12/17/17 EDD 8/25/18. It's a boy!
Going. Crazy.
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
NTNP since 11/12, actively trying since 8/14
11/15: Letrozole, Ovidrel, TI = BFP!!!
Beta #1(14dpo)=349, Beta #2(18dpo)=2,805
12/17/15: Got to see the heartbeat (105bpm)!
1/25/16: NT scan = normal (HB=163bpm)
EDD: 8/10/16
8/8/16: Baby boy born @ 12:25am, 8lbs, 20.5 inches
5/18/17: BFP!!! (11dpo)
Beta #1(12dpo)=176.4, Beta #2(15dpo)=607.1
Also, such awful heartburn. Throat burn, really.
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
@CarrieandRoy i had my first noticeable BHs yesterday. Couple that with some active baby movement and I was really uncomfortable!
I took a warm bath and ended up going to bed around 7:30pm. Up at 3am. Well, at least I got some reading done and some of the household stuff. I'm off on a short walk before I come home to nap for a little while.
The good news is, my first baby shower gift came in the mail today. It's wrapped, but there was a packing slip that said it's my diaper bag. I want to open it, but I'm going to wait for the shower next month. Argh!
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)