@acreight13, we did the baby blanket trick too! When he went home to check on the dog, DH took a blanket that DD had been wrapped in. He did that a couple times. When we brought DD home, he sniffed her and that was that haha. He's pretty chill anyways, but she didn't affect him one bit!
June Siggy Challenge: Dad Fails
Married 7.28.2012 DD born 7.27.2014 BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
Labor can be long and a tiring. You will most likely not be allowed to eat, just in case something goes wrong and you have to have to have a c-section. Bring snacks: for you, DH, other kids, or just because they looked good. If you get the baby out after the kitchen closes, you might not be able to get a 'meal' until morning.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
If we're dropping knowledge/experience here, I wanted to share my experience that will likely not be relevant to most of you (I hope) but some may remember what I say here in 7/8 months from now.
I had severe pre-eclampsia with IUGR (inter uterine growth restriction) meaning DS was measuring less than third percentile at 30 weeks. There's obviously a lot more detail than what I'll share here, but there's a moral to my story if you stick with me...
I was hospitalized at 30 weeks after having swelling of my legs and hearing my heart beat in my ears. My BP was 170/110 when I went in and got better with IV meds, then stopped responding and went to 230/140 in 2 weeks. I was starting to have kidney and liver failure and was at highest stroke risk. After an emergency cesarian my BP did not go down as expected and I had to stay on a magnesium drip for days, which means I was to be non-mobile and bed ridden. I did not get to see, touch, hold, comfort, or feed my baby for days following my birth.
I don't share this as an alarmist, and hope that ZERO of you have a similar situation... But it happens. When choosing your hospital, if you are not tied to one already - choose the best one. Choose the one with a NICU. Choose the best medical care your money can get you. If we would not have delivered (by way of OB choice early on) at one of the best hospitals in the country, we would have both been life lighted to a trauma center.
If you end up with a medically compromised pregnancy/delivery - you want to be at the place most prepared to handle you and your baby. Unfortunately when choosing a hospital to deliver at, your health and pregnancy is usually wonderful. It's not until later that it changes and you don't want to be stuck in a place that may not be able to save your life.
Sorry if this scares anyone... It was my reality and I thought it could be helpful for those of you who like to know the 'what ifs' and worst case scenario examples.
FTMs: Go ahead and ask questions. That's what this board is here for. I was browsing through some of my posts in my original BMB from when I was pregnant with my daughter... I was eye rolling myself pretty hard, but I knew nothing. I was so grateful for a slew of women who had been there and who could answer some of my most silly (and seemingly obvious) questions.
@Christinaruth74 - yes, FTM's are going to have questions we might glaze over. Nothing is stupid... If you're wondering about it, one of us may have an answer and can calm your fears (or feed them depending on the response). Ask away! We were all FTM's once. And I'm sure there's a ton I'll learn from this thread since not every birth/pregnancy is the same!
Oh! There's a reason due dates are "estimated". Please don't assume that your baby will pop right out on their due date like it's no big deal. Babies have minds of their own even before they are outside of your body and they often don't follow directions well. (Just like their fathers if your DH or DF or BF or life partner is anything like my DH.)
My DS came out 18 days late after 31.5 hours of pitocin induced labor. Yikes!
What has been people's experience with diastasis recti? Is it just an aesthetic thing or can there be complications with it while you're recovering (either vaginal or c-section)? Is it a good idea to wear a PP girdle for it, or is that a waste of time?
I try to stay active and I was just wondering about any health or fitness implications regarding it. Thank you!
If anyone has any tips for managing college classes and a new baby at the same time, I would love to hear it! I only have about 5 weeks from the time I deliver to school starting back for spring semester so I most likely will take online classes and have a reduced course load (9-12 hours instead of 15), but would love more insight from STMs who have dealt with something similar.
For first trimester advice, the best I have is that it will end. I know people are always all "this too shall pass," and that sucks to hear, but we know without a doubt that first tri will end. For many of us we'll feel like new people somewhere around second tri, and unfortunately some people won't feel much of a difference. I think the best you can do is remain positive, have the end of first tri in sight, and hope and pray that you'll feel better then!
Don't worry about what you can and can't eat right now. As long as you are eating something (be it cake, vegetables, or easy mac three times a day) and taking your vitamins, your baby will be fine.
Part of the reason that we feel so crappy is because our babies take everything they need, even if that means depriving us totally of the protein that we just ate (I know there's way more science to it than that, but you guys get what I'm saying). So while you feel like you're dying, your tiny baby is in there like, "man, mom is awesome!"
June Siggy Challenge: Dad Fails
Married 7.28.2012 DD born 7.27.2014 BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
For first trimester advice, the best I have is that it will end. I know people are always all "this too shall pass," and that sucks to hear, but we know without a doubt that first tri will end. For many of us we'll feel like new people somewhere around second tri, and unfortunately some people won't feel much of a difference. I think the best you can do is remain positive, have the end of first tri in sight, and hope and pray that you'll feel better then!
Don't worry about what you can and can't eat right now. As long as you are eating something (be it cake, vegetables, or easy mac three times a day) and taking your vitamins, your baby will be fine.
Part of the reason that we feel so crappy is because our babies take everything they need, even if that means depriving us totally of the protein that we just ate (I know there's way more science to it than that, but you guys get what I'm saying). So while you feel like you're dying, your tiny baby is in there like, "man, mom is awesome!"
Yep My OB likened it to a parasite. A wonderful parasite, but a parasite nonetheless!
LOVE this thread! As a first time mom, it's helpful. I have friends/family members that have had children, but the more information for me, the better!
Me: 37 years old
DH: 39 years old
Married: October 17, 2014 TTC Since: November 2015 BFP: March 31, 2016 DS: November 21, 2016
December'16 December Siggy Challenge: Elf on the Shelf Fails **winner**
@DiFazette - wow that's a rough experience! Thank you for sharing. And I DO NOT envy the mag drip! I had a partial placental abruption in 3rd tri (the placenta tore a little because I fell like an idiot on my ass), and they put me on a mag drip to stop contractions. You feel terrible and aren't allowed to walk. Bedpans suck.
I'll share another experience that most of you won't have - because my placenta tore, when it healed back there was scar tissue. So my placenta did not come out automatically after DD was born. Since you keep bleeding, though, there's a time limit on how long they'll wait. So my midwife had to reach elbow deep in me (OUCH) to scrape it out by hand. It won't happen to most people, but on occasion it does.
Other labor info: -If labor lasts a long time, you'll probably fall asleep between contractions - for like 30 second increments until your next contraction wakes you up. It's weird, but it'll happen. -Bring honey sticks and hard candies to suck on while in labor. They might not let you eat (my midwife was awesome and grabbed me a sandwich though), but you can suck on things to keep your sugar up. -Music helps with pushing. For me, relaxing music wasn't much help, but I brought my workout tracks as motivation. DD came out to Lady Gaga's Applause and right before LMFAO's Shots. -If you tear (which a whole whole lot of us do), the good news is you won't be able to feel it specifically at the time because Ring of Fire. However don't expect them to use any numbing agent when sewing that sucker up. I was told that "the love for your baby will keep you from feeling anything afterbirth". Lies. All lies. More good news though, it will never hurt as bad as the delivery does, so do your worst OB!
In third tri: -When packing bags to be ready for the hospital, pack some towels and trash bags. You'll want these to cover your car seats if/when your water breaks. Your water breaking probably won't happen all at once. The fore-waters come out first and then the rest leaks/gushes periodically. -Especially once the baby drops, he/she might hit your sciatic nerve on occasion. I got stuck in the middle of our floor frequently. -If your prone to little skin 'strawberries' (broken capillaries), get used to them. I have hundreds of these tiny red freckles now due to the increased blood flow at the end of pregnancy. They faded after the birth, but with this pregnancy, they've all re-emerged. I'm like a dalmatian. -If you can, or if you have friends who will, cook several casseroles towards the end of pregnancy and freeze them. You're not going to want to cook for a while. I also asked people over to clean my house, because it was necessary. -Regardless of your body type, you're going to waddle. Embrace it.
@ashleaf2018 - I was in school and working when DD was born. Honestly she was a good baby, so I managed to get a decent amount of work done the first couple of months. Plus people set such a low bar for you that everyone was impressed I got any work done. Definitely set up your support system early though. We had grandmothers coming over every week (and still do) to babysit and give me time to work. Make sure you and DH set up schedules where you don't have to worry about the baby for a period of time and can get things done.
@LinziLoo09 - I was on mag for 6 days. My eyes were bulging out of my head and crossing uncontrollably. Sorry you had an experience as well. I was catheterized, so I didn't deal with the bed pan thing.
One more thing... The first time you get up after delivery to stand (regardless of delivery method) you will lose so much blood . In that moment you will soak through 17 pads, mesh underwear, diaper, robe, hospital gown and be gushing on the floor. (At least I was). Do not wear your pretty maternity/hospital/PP nightgown/robe until this has happened a few times. It will slow after the first few times upright. My H said he blacked out and his ears were ringing when he saw what was happening.
Just bumping to see if anyone had seen my question about diastasis recti. This thread is popular and I think I posted at the same time as a lot of people.
My water broke and then I kept replenishing the amniotic fluid so while labor what's starting, I was walking around filling adult diaper after adult diaper.
also, when active labor started, I didn't have breaks between contractions. This lasted about 18 hours and my contraction pain gripped my entire core. Turns out that's called back labor.
If I were reading this stuff as a FTM right now I would be so overwhelmed. Stick it all in the back of your mind and know that every pregnancy and labor and birth and baby are different.
for me, last time, first tri was a nightmare. 2nd tri was 1/2 nightmare, half recovering from the nightmare. Third tri was a peice of cake. Labor was a nightmare, postpartum was blissful. Even with the recovery stuff.
Just bumping to see if anyone had seen my question about diastasis recti. This thread is popular and I think I posted at the same time as a lot of people.
@dmontgo, I didn't have any experience with that - I hope someone can help you!
I was thinking about water breaking. I always thought it would be all Hollywood-esque, a gush on your bathroom floor and then off to the hospital. My water didn't break until I had been in labor for 5ish hours and I was about 20 minutes out from pushing. Like @slartybartfastsaid, everyone is different!
June Siggy Challenge: Dad Fails
Married 7.28.2012 DD born 7.27.2014 BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
I use to have this crazy fear of things like my water breaking in public, or pooping during delivery... Until your 42wks pregnant standing in line at Starbucks begging God to just go ahead and open the floodgates right there on that grey tiled floor.
All of this. I haven't read every single comment yet, but here are mine that I wish I knew:
labor: you can have more than one contraction at a time. Ouch. *You are stronger than you think and can handle med free if you want that. I did. You seriously forget all of the pain as soon as the baby and the placenta are out. *so many things will gush out of your body that you had no idea were coming out. Your nurses will change them and not even flinch. *Episotomies are not so much fun, but can be necessary. You will probably tear down there too. Normal *The ring of fire is real *Your nurses will be rock stars. Rely on them.
Quickly post labor *A uterine massage is not nearly as pleasant as they make it sound. It hurts like a MOFO, but helps shrink your ute back down to size. It will be done often. *You will be asked to get up and go to the bathroom way before you think you'll be able to ever walk again. Be prepared for blood- lots of it- and it can last 6 weeks after birth.
*Let the nurses take the baby to the nursery at night for a bit so you can get some sleep, and like someone else said, keep visitors down to a minimum because you will be exhausted. Your nurses can kick people out if you tell them to prior.
Nursing *it's not easy and won't come natural to everyone. IF it's something you really want to do, it will take some time to get it down. But your boobs will be rock solid and leak. You may even be able to squirt milk across an entire room! I did lol. I went from a DD to an H cup. Still at an H two years later.
-I agree with pain meds especially. They knocked me out and made me sick. DH had to hold my puke bag. This time I'll only be having the epidural, Lord willing.
-Post partum hormones are horrible. Get help if you need it. There's no shame in it at all.
-Gas during mid-late pregnancy becomes unreal. I once let it slip and scared the mess out of me and my dog.
-Ask for extra mesh undies and dermaplast at the hospital. They will be your buff.
-You will pee your pants at least once while pregnant after a giant cough and/or sneeze....or just because.
-I had heard about tearing...but no one warned me of how painful recovery would be. I had a 4th degree. The ice pack, peri bottle, dermaplast and still softeners were my best friend. I also use a swimmy ring and covered it with a pillow case to sit on.
Having said all this, every bit of the weird, painful, awkward stuff is so worth it. I would do this a million times over for my son and for this one too. There's so much more positive than negative, and it's all for a good reason! So enjoy every second. It goes way to fast.
-Be prepared to sniss during second and third trimesters. Start carrying poise pads - you will probably over pack your hospital bag. I didn't use half of what was in mine since the hospital gave us everything I would need post-partum and for baby. You really only need toiletries and outfits and electronics chargers. And take EVERYTHING the hospital gives you. Diapers, wipes, blanket, snap shirts for baby, hats, Dermoplast (Take it all), mesh underwear, peri bottles, the sitz bath thing (when lightening crotch hits, you'll want one of those anyway pre baby) -You may not connect with your baby immediately. Not every mother is going to have that movie moment where they see their baby and the world stops. You may also have name regret. -change positions while in labor. H deceled when I labored on my back, but if I labored on my side, I was much more comfortable and he was ok. - post partum hair loss about 3 months after baby. Be. Ready. You'll lose enough hair on the daily to make your own Barbie doll. -The baby blues are real post partum, but if you have a feeling something may seriously be wrong, do not be ashamed and talk to your ob about Post-partum anxiety and depression. It affects more people than you think. -lastly- sorry, brevity is not my thing- be prepared to answer 2397697 questions after the baby is here. You'll have so much paper work to fill out it gets a little daunting. Ask your partner for help.
@1MommyRunner - I full on peed a full bladder on the floor of my bathroom in 3rd tri because I sneezed. I was naked and getting ready to shower but yes, this may happen to all of us!
Suggestion on for those of you who feel uncomfortable telling people not to come/stay long at the hospital. My nurses and I came up with a code word. I would hit my call button if I was feeling overwhelmed and say something innocuous like - 'my leg is cramping again.' The nurse would be in within a few minutes and say they needed to do a ' 'check' and kind of usher people out of the room. They left without any further provoking and went to get coffee, lunch, whatever to clear the room. If you feel bad doing it, your nurses will do it for you.
Okay ladies - help a STM out because I have a question!!! Just got my shower and noticed one of my breasts is lumpy. Is this due to the changes in my body? Anyone have/had this? I would cry if I had to have a mammogram right now. These girls are SO sensitive.
@DiFazette It might be your milk ducts, it might be something else. I wouldn't panic yet, but I would lmake sure my doc looked at them during my next app.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Second time moms...no one warned me, but your ute shrinking during your first breastfeeding attempts HURTS. The cramping too my breath away. I was in tears! Way different than with DS 1. My obgyn told me it's because your ute is working even harder to shrink down. I'm thinking it won't be any better for round 3!
@DiFazette, strange question, but are the lumps movable? I have fibroadenomas all over my boobs and they swell up with hormones. They're harmless but annoying and painful.
June Siggy Challenge: Dad Fails
Married 7.28.2012 DD born 7.27.2014 BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
Second time moms...no one warned me, but your ute shrinking during your first breastfeeding attempts HURTS. The cramping too my breath away. I was in tears! Way different than with DS 1. My obgyn told me it's because your ute is working even harder to shrink down. I'm thinking it won't be any better for round 3!
Oy. Lovely. I felt it with DS but it wasn't overly uncomfortable
@DiFazette , I have them too! When I went in for my pap smear, she did a breast exam and felt the lumps before I was even aware they were there. She said it is nothing to worry about and completely normal to develop because of all the hormones.
I'm not sure if this has been said yet or not, but after baby arrives expect for your marriage to go through some growing pains. DH was super involved during my first pregnancy. He waited on me hand and foot and went to every medical appointment. He read more books than I did on pregnancy and birth etc. I expected him to be super involved after the baby arrived because of this, but he just wasn't and from what I hear that's pretty normal. Newborns eat almost constantly and I was breastfeeding so there really wasn't much he could do, looking back.
When your pediatrician visits LO in the hospital ask them to check for a lip/tongue tie if they are having a lot of trouble latching.
If you plan on breastfeeding you need to EAT!! I had no appetite after giving birth for almost 3 weeks. Even once my appetite returned I hardly had time to eat and would forget. Breastfeeding isn't like pregnancy. With pregnancy all of your nutrients go to baby first. With breastfeeding all of your nutrients go to you AND THEN producing milk.
Use lanolin on your nipples before and after each nursing session. Bloody, chapped nipples are not fun. You don't want to dread feeding your baby.
@beff12 - I don't think they're moving but I massaged where it was worst and it got better/smaller. It kid of feels like a soft knot in a muscle. Not small, not hard, just lumpy.
@schwee25 - thanks! I have large, fibrous breasts and I'm hoping it's just hormone influx.
I I go to the doc next week so I'll mention it then. I did a little Dr. Googling and it seems fairly common.
I didn't read everything yet, so I'm sure I'm repeating some things:
1) growth estimates are usually off, but even if they aren't don't be scared of a big baby. DS estimated 10lbs 8oz at just over 40 weeks. I gave birth vaginally at 40w6d and he was 9lbs 15oz. My docs were great and very supportive - told me I have a large pelvis so I can do it! They did not try to convince me to have a C, but they also would have been ok with it. There are risks with a big baby, but trust your docs and your body. They did an episiotomy because of the size and it was fine. 2) epidurals do wear off. Mine did start to wear off but I had a button to push for more. They talked me into not pushing it much at the end so I could feel contractions and that would make me push better. No idea if that was true but even partially drugged at the end that 30 seconds was the most painful blinding 30 seconds of my entire life. Next time I will push the button more at the end. 3) massage your own uterus after they are done. Big babies = more bleeding. I had giant clots about an hour after I delivered that were super painful to get them out and THEN they told me to keep massaging my uterus to prevent that. Ugh. Tell me sooner! They did give me an IV and oral meds to help prevent more clotting. 4) the numbing spray! I was scared to pee. So scared I held it for SO long. The numbing spray and the water spritz were great and it was totally fine. I didn't feel a thing. Oh and you have company the first time you pee. A nurse has to go with you and your urine is collected in a pan. I think they are also looking for large clots that could be cause for concern. 5) breastfeeding hurts. I mean hurts. For a couple weeks. I liked the gel soothies from the fridge and the lanolin. If you want to do it, it works for you and you can get past the pain it does get better and easier. There is a light at the end of the breastfeeding tunnel. 6) almost forgot the poop. My nurse said if you poop it means your pushing right. I'll leave it at that.
And for the cliche.... It's all worth it in the end. That's why us STMs are back here.
Oh also I swear I felt and heard my water break. I jumped out of bed and there was next to nothing coming out. More when I went to bathroom and then more when I was being examined before being admitted. I do recommend a waterproof mattress pad just in case. Put my mind at ease because I was so concerned with that every night near the end. It did happen in bed, but didn't gush.
- Labor won't always be long or late, even for first timers. Mine was at 38 weeks and lasted a total of four hours from beginning to end. It was in no way easy and was very very intense. DH wanted me to labor at home longer. I had to force him to take me to the hospital because he was sure we'd be trapped there while I labored for days. I was at 10 cm when we arrived and pushed twice and had a baby. When you feel it's time to go, trust yourself and go.
- The amount of fluid that comes out of you is truly amazing. I had NO IDEA.
-Right after delivery I looked at the doctor. The front of her white coat was splashed with blood. I realized the blood was mine and I realized I didn't have any feelings about that. It was weird. All of labor is a little like that. It seems horrifying and the stories are just awful, but you will not care about any of that. It simply will not matter at all.
- I suspect PPD is more prevalent than people realize. I think, in hindsight, I had a certain amount of it myself and I think it made things harder than they needed to be. At the time it didn't even occur to me. The hormones do something to your brain a little and it makes self-reflection difficult. This time around, DH and I have an agreement that we will sit down regularly and I will check in with him. I will talk about how I feel and he will measure that against what he knows of me. If he suspects I'm depressed, he will tell me and we will talk to my doctor.
- Becoming a parent and saying goodbye to the person you are now is hard. Very very hard. I miss that person I was, and I'll never see her again. I really did become a completely different person. Take some time to grieve the loss of that person, who was amazing and independent and free. You will come to love the new you as well, but at least in my case, I needed to admit that birth was harder than just the physical labor and sleep deprivation. It was actually the hardest part of the whole thing. It's okay to feel that way.
@LinziLoo09 I had never heard of those "strawberries" you mentioned, but dude (er, lady!)--I totally found a red pimple-like spot on one of my love handles. Like an idiot, I managed to pop it, and all that came out was blood. I've got a band-aid on it right now to keep me from touching it again. Yeah, I have issues.
And re: the pregnancy shakes, I recently read that it's totally natural even for vaginal births. Good to know, otherwise I would have thought I was dying.
Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010 TTC #1 January 2016 BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016 Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018 BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
@ArtlessIbex Lots of good reminders in this one that have been on my mind lately. Love the checking in with DH thing for depression and otherwise. We have a great marriage and although we are over the moon about baby, I treasure our relationship and get anxious we will become distant. He has been so hands on so far and amazing...I don't want to lose that connection.
Also about grieving the person you were emotionally and physically. I have to admit that pregnancy has made me more aware of my body image. Growing up with our media we hear that being thin is the most attractive, do XYZ to lose weight, etc. Then suddenly it's like "Be happy you're gaining weight--it's for the baby!" And you're instantly supposed to unlearn all of that weight and appearance conditioning. It's been hard, and I feel bad for even saying that. I am also very independent and thinking that I will lose some of that is also a hard adjustment. I don't want to stop traveling or being fun. Sounds so petty, but yeah.
I was somewhat prepared for PPD, I had no idea about PPA. I have anxiety already and had loads of anxiety surrounding my pregnancy, delivery, other people holding my baby, etc. but I was not prepared for a lot of other things. Intrusive thoughts, for one. They can be incredibly isolating and make you feel like you're going absolutely crazy. They are basically thoughts/pictures/movie-like flashes that involve awful things happening to your baby... And I mean terrible. I had them while I was pregnant, but nothing could have prepared me for the thoughts I had PP. I mean, I would cry and cry alone at night thinking about my baby falling from my arms and off a cliff. Off a cliff. I mean, it's totally unrealistic and irrational but it was (and sometimes still is) a very real image/fear. Talk to people. My BMB was really helpful and talking to medical professionals is always a good idea. I also had to be really transparent with my H which was difficult because he simply couldn't understand, but it was helpful for him to know certain triggers I had.
I feel like it's super important to remember that it's NEVER ONLY YOU who feels/thinks/experiences things like this. Not ever. The post-partum period is extremely isolating sometimes and it can just feel like you're the only person who feels this way, especially when everyone else is so over the moon about baby. Talking to people is so key.
Re: Everything you didn't want to know about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum: STM to FTM advice
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I had severe pre-eclampsia with IUGR (inter uterine growth restriction) meaning DS was measuring less than third percentile at 30 weeks. There's obviously a lot more detail than what I'll share here, but there's a moral to my story if you stick with me...
I was hospitalized at 30 weeks after having swelling of my legs and hearing my heart beat in my ears. My BP was 170/110 when I went in and got better with IV meds, then stopped responding and went to 230/140 in 2 weeks. I was starting to have kidney and liver failure and was at highest stroke risk. After an emergency cesarian my BP did not go down as expected and I had to stay on a magnesium drip for days, which means I was to be non-mobile and bed ridden. I did not get to see, touch, hold, comfort, or feed my baby for days following my birth.
I don't share this as an alarmist, and hope that ZERO of you have a similar situation... But it happens. When choosing your hospital, if you are not tied to one already - choose the best one. Choose the one with a NICU. Choose the best medical care your money can get you. If we would not have delivered (by way of OB choice early on) at one of the best hospitals in the country, we would have both been life lighted to a trauma center.
If you end up with a medically compromised pregnancy/delivery - you want to be at the place most prepared to handle you and your baby. Unfortunately when choosing a hospital to deliver at, your health and pregnancy is usually wonderful. It's not until later that it changes and you don't want to be stuck in a place that may not be able to save your life.
Sorry if this scares anyone... It was my reality and I thought it could be helpful for those of you who like to know the 'what ifs' and worst case scenario examples.
Me:27 H:30
Till death do us part: 7.2.2011
Trying to conceive since 01.2014
Low AFC and azoospermia
IVF #1 03.2016 - BFP 03.28.2016
Due: 12.05.2016
My DS came out 18 days late after 31.5 hours of pitocin induced labor. Yikes!
I try to stay active and I was just wondering about any health or fitness implications regarding it. Thank you!
Don't worry about what you can and can't eat right now. As long as you are eating something (be it cake, vegetables, or easy mac three times a day) and taking your vitamins, your baby will be fine.
Part of the reason that we feel so crappy is because our babies take everything they need, even if that means depriving us totally of the protein that we just ate (I know there's way more science to it than that, but you guys get what I'm saying). So while you feel like you're dying, your tiny baby is in there like, "man, mom is awesome!"
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
TTC Since: November 2015
BFP: March 31, 2016
DS: November 21, 2016
For me it was funnier after I ended up with a C-section, as L was literally removed like a tumor.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I'll share another experience that most of you won't have - because my placenta tore, when it healed back there was scar tissue. So my placenta did not come out automatically after DD was born. Since you keep bleeding, though, there's a time limit on how long they'll wait. So my midwife had to reach elbow deep in me (OUCH) to scrape it out by hand. It won't happen to most people, but on occasion it does.
Other labor info:
-If labor lasts a long time, you'll probably fall asleep between contractions - for like 30 second increments until your next contraction wakes you up. It's weird, but it'll happen.
-Bring honey sticks and hard candies to suck on while in labor. They might not let you eat (my midwife was awesome and grabbed me a sandwich though), but you can suck on things to keep your sugar up.
-Music helps with pushing. For me, relaxing music wasn't much help, but I brought my workout tracks as motivation. DD came out to Lady Gaga's Applause and right before LMFAO's Shots.
-If you tear (which a whole whole lot of us do), the good news is you won't be able to feel it specifically at the time because Ring of Fire. However don't expect them to use any numbing agent when sewing that sucker up. I was told that "the love for your baby will keep you from feeling anything afterbirth". Lies. All lies. More good news though, it will never hurt as bad as the delivery does, so do your worst OB!
In third tri:
-When packing bags to be ready for the hospital, pack some towels and trash bags. You'll want these to cover your car seats if/when your water breaks. Your water breaking probably won't happen all at once. The fore-waters come out first and then the rest leaks/gushes periodically.
-Especially once the baby drops, he/she might hit your sciatic nerve on occasion. I got stuck in the middle of our floor frequently.
-If your prone to little skin 'strawberries' (broken capillaries), get used to them. I have hundreds of these tiny red freckles now due to the increased blood flow at the end of pregnancy. They faded after the birth, but with this pregnancy, they've all re-emerged. I'm like a dalmatian.
-If you can, or if you have friends who will, cook several casseroles towards the end of pregnancy and freeze them. You're not going to want to cook for a while. I also asked people over to clean my house, because it was necessary.
-Regardless of your body type, you're going to waddle. Embrace it.
@ashleaf2018 - I was in school and working when DD was born. Honestly she was a good baby, so I managed to get a decent amount of work done the first couple of months. Plus people set such a low bar for you that everyone was impressed I got any work done. Definitely set up your support system early though. We had grandmothers coming over every week (and still do) to babysit and give me time to work. Make sure you and DH set up schedules where you don't have to worry about the baby for a period of time and can get things done.
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
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One more thing... The first time you get up after delivery to stand (regardless of delivery method) you will lose so much blood . In that moment you will soak through 17 pads, mesh underwear, diaper, robe, hospital gown and be gushing on the floor. (At least I was). Do not wear your pretty maternity/hospital/PP nightgown/robe until this has happened a few times. It will slow after the first few times upright. My H said he blacked out and his ears were ringing when he saw what was happening.
also, when active labor started, I didn't have breaks between contractions. This lasted about 18 hours and my contraction pain gripped my entire core. Turns out that's called back labor.
If I were reading this stuff as a FTM right now I would be so overwhelmed. Stick it all in the back of your mind and know that every pregnancy and labor and birth and baby are different.
for me, last time, first tri was a nightmare. 2nd tri was 1/2 nightmare, half recovering from the nightmare. Third tri was a peice of cake. Labor was a nightmare, postpartum was blissful. Even with the recovery stuff.
I was thinking about water breaking. I always thought it would be all Hollywood-esque, a gush on your bathroom floor and then off to the hospital. My water didn't break until I had been in labor for 5ish hours and I was about 20 minutes out from pushing. Like @slartybartfast said, everyone is different!
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
labor: you can have more than one contraction at a time. Ouch.
*You are stronger than you think and can handle med free if you want that. I did. You seriously forget all of the pain as soon as the baby and the placenta are out.
*so many things will gush out of your body that you had no idea were coming out. Your nurses will change them and not even flinch.
*Episotomies are not so much fun, but can be necessary. You will probably tear down there too. Normal
*The ring of fire is real
*Your nurses will be rock stars. Rely on them.
Quickly post labor
*A uterine massage is not nearly as pleasant as they make it sound. It hurts like a MOFO, but helps shrink your ute back down to size. It will be done often.
*You will be asked to get up and go to the bathroom way before you think you'll be able to ever walk again. Be prepared for blood- lots of it- and it can last 6 weeks after birth.
*Let the nurses take the baby to the nursery at night for a bit so you can get some sleep, and like someone else said, keep visitors down to a minimum because you will be exhausted. Your nurses can kick people out if you tell them to prior.
Nursing
*it's not easy and won't come natural to everyone. IF it's something you really want to do, it will take some time to get it down. But your boobs will be rock solid and leak. You may even be able to squirt milk across an entire room! I did lol. I went from a DD to an H cup. Still at an H two years later.
-I agree with pain meds especially. They knocked me out and made me sick. DH had to hold my puke bag. This time I'll only be having the epidural, Lord willing.
-Post partum hormones are horrible. Get help if you need it. There's no shame in it at all.
-Gas during mid-late pregnancy becomes unreal. I once let it slip and scared the mess out of me and my dog.
-Ask for extra mesh undies and dermaplast at the hospital. They will be your buff.
-You will pee your pants at least once while pregnant after a giant cough and/or sneeze....or just because.
-I had heard about tearing...but no one warned me of how painful recovery would be. I had a 4th degree. The ice pack, peri bottle, dermaplast and still softeners were my best friend. I also use a swimmy ring and covered it with a pillow case to sit on.
Having said all this, every bit of the weird, painful, awkward stuff is so worth it. I would do this a million times over for my son and for this one too. There's so much more positive than negative, and it's all for a good reason! So enjoy every second. It goes way to fast.
-Be prepared to sniss during second and third trimesters. Start carrying poise pads
- you will probably over pack your hospital bag. I didn't use half of what was in mine since the hospital gave us everything I would need post-partum and for baby. You really only need toiletries and outfits and electronics chargers. And take EVERYTHING the hospital gives you. Diapers, wipes, blanket, snap shirts for baby, hats, Dermoplast (Take it all), mesh underwear, peri bottles, the sitz bath thing (when lightening crotch hits, you'll want one of those anyway pre baby)
-You may not connect with your baby immediately. Not every mother is going to have that movie moment where they see their baby and the world stops. You may also have name regret.
-change positions while in labor. H deceled when I labored on my back, but if I labored on my side, I was much more comfortable and he was ok.
- post partum hair loss about 3 months after baby. Be. Ready. You'll lose enough hair on the daily to make your own Barbie doll.
-The baby blues are real post partum, but if you have a feeling something may seriously be wrong, do not be ashamed and talk to your ob about Post-partum anxiety and depression. It affects more people than you think.
-lastly- sorry, brevity is not my thing- be prepared to answer 2397697 questions after the baby is here. You'll have so much paper work to fill out it gets a little daunting. Ask your partner for help.
Suggestion on for those of you who feel uncomfortable telling people not to come/stay long at the hospital. My nurses and I came up with a code word. I would hit my call button if I was feeling overwhelmed and say something innocuous like - 'my leg is cramping again.' The nurse would be in within a few minutes and say they needed to do a ' 'check' and kind of usher people out of the room. They left without any further provoking and went to get coffee, lunch, whatever to clear the room. If you feel bad doing it, your nurses will do it for you.
Reading this thread like:
Me: 25 | Him: 31
Married: September 2014
DSS Born 2/2/08
TTC our 1st since December 2015
BFP 3/18/16 - EDD 12/1/16
Proud Parents of a 5 year old Miniature Dachshund
Okay ladies - help a STM out because I have a question!!! Just got my shower and noticed one of my breasts is lumpy. Is this due to the changes in my body? Anyone have/had this? I would cry if I had to have a mammogram right now. These girls are SO sensitive.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
DD born 7.27.2014
BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
Me: 25 | Him: 31
Married: September 2014
DSS Born 2/2/08
TTC our 1st since December 2015
BFP 3/18/16 - EDD 12/1/16
Proud Parents of a 5 year old Miniature Dachshund
When your pediatrician visits LO in the hospital ask them to check for a lip/tongue tie if they are having a lot of trouble latching.
If you plan on breastfeeding you need to EAT!! I had no appetite after giving birth for almost 3 weeks. Even once my appetite returned I hardly had time to eat and would forget. Breastfeeding isn't like pregnancy. With pregnancy all of your nutrients go to baby first. With breastfeeding all of your nutrients go to you AND THEN producing milk.
Use lanolin on your nipples before and after each nursing session. Bloody, chapped nipples are not fun. You don't want to dread feeding your baby.
@schwee25 - thanks! I have large, fibrous breasts and I'm hoping it's just hormone influx.
I I go to the doc next week so I'll mention it then. I did a little Dr. Googling and it seems fairly common.
1) growth estimates are usually off, but even if they aren't don't be scared of a big baby. DS estimated 10lbs 8oz at just over 40 weeks. I gave birth vaginally at 40w6d and he was 9lbs 15oz. My docs were great and very supportive - told me I have a large pelvis so I can do it! They did not try to convince me to have a C, but they also would have been ok with it. There are risks with a big baby, but trust your docs and your body. They did an episiotomy because of the size and it was fine.
2) epidurals do wear off. Mine did start to wear off but I had a button to push for more. They talked me into not pushing it much at the end so I could feel contractions and that would make me push better. No idea if that was true but even partially drugged at the end that 30 seconds was the most painful blinding 30 seconds of my entire life. Next time I will push the button more at the end.
3) massage your own uterus after they are done. Big babies = more bleeding. I had giant clots about an hour after I delivered that were super painful to get them out and THEN they told me to keep massaging my uterus to prevent that. Ugh. Tell me sooner! They did give me an IV and oral meds to help prevent more clotting.
4) the numbing spray! I was scared to pee. So scared I held it for SO long. The numbing spray and the water spritz were great and it was totally fine. I didn't feel a thing. Oh and you have company the first time you pee. A nurse has to go with you and your urine is collected in a pan. I think they are also looking for large clots that could be cause for concern.
5) breastfeeding hurts. I mean hurts. For a couple weeks. I liked the gel soothies from the fridge and the lanolin. If you want to do it, it works for you and you can get past the pain it does get better and easier. There is a light at the end of the breastfeeding tunnel.
6) almost forgot the poop. My nurse said if you poop it means your pushing right. I'll leave it at that.
And for the cliche.... It's all worth it in the end. That's why us STMs are back here.
I do recommend a waterproof mattress pad just in case. Put my mind at ease because I was so concerned with that every night near the end. It did happen in bed, but didn't gush.
- Labor won't always be long or late, even for first timers. Mine was at 38 weeks and lasted a total of four hours from beginning to end. It was in no way easy and was very very intense. DH wanted me to labor at home longer. I had to force him to take me to the hospital because he was sure we'd be trapped there while I labored for days. I was at 10 cm when we arrived and pushed twice and had a baby. When you feel it's time to go, trust yourself and go.
- The amount of fluid that comes out of you is truly amazing. I had NO IDEA.
-Right after delivery I looked at the doctor. The front of her white coat was splashed with blood. I realized the blood was mine and I realized I didn't have any feelings about that. It was weird. All of labor is a little like that. It seems horrifying and the stories are just awful, but you will not care about any of that. It simply will not matter at all.
- I suspect PPD is more prevalent than people realize. I think, in hindsight, I had a certain amount of it myself and I think it made things harder than they needed to be. At the time it didn't even occur to me. The hormones do something to your brain a little and it makes self-reflection difficult. This time around, DH and I have an agreement that we will sit down regularly and I will check in with him. I will talk about how I feel and he will measure that against what he knows of me. If he suspects I'm depressed, he will tell me and we will talk to my doctor.
- Becoming a parent and saying goodbye to the person you are now is hard. Very very hard. I miss that person I was, and I'll never see her again. I really did become a completely different person. Take some time to grieve the loss of that person, who was amazing and independent and free. You will come to love the new you as well, but at least in my case, I needed to admit that birth was harder than just the physical labor and sleep deprivation. It was actually the hardest part of the whole thing. It's okay to feel that way.
@LinziLoo09 I had never heard of those "strawberries" you mentioned, but dude (er, lady!)--I totally found a red pimple-like spot on one of my love handles. Like an idiot, I managed to pop it, and all that came out was blood. I've got a band-aid on it right now to keep me from touching it again. Yeah, I have issues.
And re: the pregnancy shakes, I recently read that it's totally natural even for vaginal births. Good to know, otherwise I would have thought I was dying.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
Also about grieving the person you were emotionally and physically. I have to admit that pregnancy has made me more aware of my body image. Growing up with our media we hear that being thin is the most attractive, do XYZ to lose weight, etc. Then suddenly it's like "Be happy you're gaining weight--it's for the baby!" And you're instantly supposed to unlearn all of that weight and appearance conditioning. It's been hard, and I feel bad for even saying that. I am also very independent and thinking that I will lose some of that is also a hard adjustment. I don't want to stop traveling or being fun. Sounds so petty, but yeah.
I was somewhat prepared for PPD, I had no idea about PPA. I have anxiety already and had loads of anxiety surrounding my pregnancy, delivery, other people holding my baby, etc. but I was not prepared for a lot of other things.
Intrusive thoughts, for one. They can be incredibly isolating and make you feel like you're going absolutely crazy. They are basically thoughts/pictures/movie-like flashes that involve awful things happening to your baby... And I mean terrible. I had them while I was pregnant, but nothing could have prepared me for the thoughts I had PP. I mean, I would cry and cry alone at night thinking about my baby falling from my arms and off a cliff. Off a cliff. I mean, it's totally unrealistic and irrational but it was (and sometimes still is) a very real image/fear.
Talk to people. My BMB was really helpful and talking to medical professionals is always a good idea. I also had to be really transparent with my H which was difficult because he simply couldn't understand, but it was helpful for him to know certain triggers I had.
Talking to people is so key.