Everything you didn't want to know about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum: STM to FTM advice - Page 3 — The Bump
December 2016 Moms

Everything you didn't want to know about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum: STM to FTM advice

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Re: Everything you didn't want to know about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum: STM to FTM advice

  • @dmontgo One baby is pretty portable. Especially in the first 3-4 months. They just take food, diapers, clothes and thats about it. You can pack them up and still go. After that, it starts to take up more depending on what your baby 'needs'. 
    You really won't have to give up traveling, maybe just change your type of destinations. OR you could take a week/weekend here or there and have the grandparents babysit. Win-Win


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






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    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
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    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


    dmontgoDiFazettebeff12LinziLoo09
  • @dmontgo, Anytime. I am just waiting until L get big enough to schedule the weekend trail rides I love. It will just be a mom&son thing instead of a just me thing.


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


    dmontgoPrettyPalomino
  • @dmontgo - you don't have to stop doing those things!  Travel!  You'll go different places with a child, but that's cool,too.  As far as doing 'fun' things - your definition of this is about to change.  And it should.  You will lose part of who you used to be, you might lose most, but I speak for myself only, my life is so fulfilling now.  It's a whole different kind of life, but it's amazing.
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  • FitTris said:
    Second time moms...no one warned me, but your ute shrinking during your first breastfeeding attempts HURTS. The cramping too my breath away. I was in tears! Way different than with DS 1. My obgyn told me it's because your ute is working even harder to shrink down. I'm thinking it won't be any better for round 3! 
    I shrank a bunch the first night. (When they checked me the nurse cringed and said "that's why you were in so much pain") I was where most people are after a week the nurse told me. But the pain when I nursed was sooo bad. And it didn't go away for almost a week and a half. Some days I had episodes where I was sobbing. 
    Never had that with DD and not looking forward to it this time.

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  • @BumpAdmin could we get this stickied just like the TTGP board?
    Met DH - 9/2003
    Dating - 9/18/2012
    Married - 8/16/2014
    NTNP - 7/2014-5/2015 
    TTC #1 - 5/2015 (CP October @ 4w2d)
    *PCOS/Hypothyroid/Ectopic Kidney/High DHEA-S*
    HSG - All clear, ectopic kidney didn't affect uterus (yay!)
    CT Adrenal Scan - no tumors! :D
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    EDD 12/1 based on O, 11/28 per Ob/Gyn (but he's wrong lol).

    *TEAM BLUE!*

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    dmontgoChristinaruth74LinziLoo09PensiveCrayon
  • dmontgodmontgo member
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    @DiFazette Thank you for your reassurance! We talk all the time about going to museums, Disneyland, and all of the cool things we can show our child. We are really excited about it! But then people have their rude comments and sometimes I wonder if we are being silly or if maybe they are right. But I don't want them to take our joy away! I think this stormy weather in our areas lately has made me a little gloomy!
  • When I left the delivery room I looked around and it was still like a murder scene. Ok maybe a little exaggerated but I could not believe that 2-3 hours later (I had to wait for a room) there was still so much blood everywhere. And it was mine. And I had visitors in that room. I had no idea until I was being wheeled out that it looked like that. 
    Trying for #2 since November 2015

    DS #1 - 7/25/13

    dmontgojennbaylor12
  • @dmontgo - we travel 1x per month.  My parents live at the beach so that's a nice get away for free.  We visit friends for overnight trips and have cocktails after the kids go to sleep.  There's a ton of awesome family friendly stuff up my way.  When you're ready for suggestions in this area or even at the beach since we spend so much time there (Wrightsville) send me a PM.  Happy to help offer suggestions to keep you out and about!!
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    dmontgo
  • dmontgodmontgo member
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    @DiFazette Thank you so much! We are heading to Wrightsville for a little babymoon, but I will definitely be sending some questions your way! Thank you again :)
    DiFazette
  • FitTrisFitTris member
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    lalamomma said:
    FitTris said:
    Second time moms...no one warned me, but your ute shrinking during your first breastfeeding attempts HURTS. The cramping too my breath away. I was in tears! Way different than with DS 1. My obgyn told me it's because your ute is working even harder to shrink down. I'm thinking it won't be any better for round 3! 
    I shrank a bunch the first night. (When they checked me the nurse cringed and said "that's why you were in so much pain") I was where most people are after a week the nurse told me. But the pain when I nursed was sooo bad. And it didn't go away for almost a week and a half. Some days I had episodes where I was sobbing. 
    Never had that with DD and not looking forward to it this time.
    yes! it was the first two days.  My DH was looking at me like I was a crazy person, because I was crying overtime the baby latched.  It was so different than the first time.  All of my close friends who have had number two said the same thing and then scold me for not warning them! 
    lalamommayellingbanana
  • I had planned on visiting people with baby as soon as I was able, so this makes me happy. DH and I talked right after our first appointment that we wouldn't let baby hold us back from going to visit people and travel around the state. Sure, we know our friends will come to us for the first few months, but we travel south once every 2 months or so to visit my SIL and DH's best friend. I no longer feel guilty. Thanks!
    Married 4/12/13
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    dmontgoLinziLoo09
  • dmontgodmontgo member
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    @LinziLoo09 I completely agree with you. I will say that my parents took me all over the world as a kid, and I think that has really made a difference in my life. I just have never really been around babies so there's so much I'm learning about what's possible and how to do it. Did you fly with baby? How was that? DH wants to show his grandma our baby pretty immediately after baby is born, and we have been debating if it would be easier to fly or drive 12 hours. Any advice?
    LinziLoo09
  • @dmontgo - We've flown and driven places. I probably wouldn't drive anywhere further than 5 hours away unless you're making a LOT of long stops. But we flew with DD both at 8 months and now at 17. We've got plans to fly again in September as well. She's been wonderful on all flights thus far. You have to make sure they're drinking/sucking/eating something during take off to help their ears pop. But the white noise of planes really helps her fall asleep. Toddlers are definitely more difficult. You need a lot of activities to keep them distracted. But it's feasible.
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    dmontgo
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    @LinziLoo09 Do you check in the car seat? How do handle the equipment aspect of it? Sorry for all the questions!
  • Yup, check the carseat and just have it attached to the base. You can take the stroller up to the plane and just check it at the gate. We take a book bag with snacks, diapers/wipes, and activities for her on the plane. 
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    dmontgo
  • We flew when my daughter was 10/11 months-ish. We opted out of checking the car seat and stroller because we were going to stay with family and knew they would have some extras. We brought our Tula and a ring sling for backup and it was perfect! Traveling with a kid is an adjustment but seriously not impossible! 


    LinziLoo09dmontgo
  • Back to symptoms and hacks...in third tri the weight of the baby on your hips will make them super sore. I got a maternity belt to help take the pressure off of my hips and back. It was amazing. And like PPs said, it helped keep my organs in place once DD had left the building.
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  • We just survived flying across the country with our 23 month old. And we leave in a week to fly to hawaii. We brought coloring books, books, puzzles  (seriously), the iPad, a stamp set, her leap pad, a blanket, pacis, her favorite stuffed animal, snacks!, and her water bottle with juice. Was it overkill? No. We used every single thing! 

    We flew with her right before she was a year old and it was sooooooooo easy compared to now. Then we brought a coloring book and one book for entertainment. That was it.

    She slept as a baby. As a crazy nearly 2 year old, no sleep was to be had. But she's particularly active so idk of that's normal. 
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


    dmontgo
  • dmontgodmontgo member
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    If you have a hospital birth, do you labor at home before going? If so, will you know when it's time to head to the hospital? Is it like what @beff12 said with Braxton Hicks vs. Real labor?
  • I didn't read all the responses, but one thing g I remember is that the second night your baby won't sleep. Basically that is when the baby resized that they were born and want to be held all night. The first night they will sleep, but beware of the second night
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  • edited May 2016
    @dmontgo they suggest laboring at home for as long as you can if its an option. I guess just listen to your body and keep in mind the commute to the hospital and all of that. My water broke so they had me come right in, but I wasn't in active labor yet. So I wound up on pitocin laboring in the hospital. 
    its so true though, you will just know. And even if you're unsure, call the nurse on-call and discuss your symptoms. I called a few times and they were so patient with me. 


    dmontgo
  • dmontgodmontgo member
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    @Christinaruth74 So helpful, thank you!!
    Christinaruth74
  • beff12beff12 member
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    @dmontgo, your OB will probably give you a set rule to follow. Either if your water breaks like @Christinaruth74 said, or something regarding contractions. I was to go in when my contractions were five to seven minutes apart, lasting a minute each, for an hour long (I think!).

    I had called my OB that afternoon (it was the day before my due date) because my back felt really strange. She agreed that it could be back labor and had me come in to get monitored. It turned out that it was back labor, but my contractions were 11-13 minutes apart so they made me leave. We were back at midnight. We could have gone back sooner but I was being stubborn and said "I WILL NOT GET SENT HOME AGAIN" so we waited an extra 30 minutes hahaha

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    dmontgohannahmamma
  • Oh Braxton Hicks! That's  a good one to bring up. I had BH daily from 18 weeks on with both kids. No joke. And sometimes they would be regular and last a long time. Which docs say BH normally don't. And when the doc says they shouldn't be painful, he is right to a degree. They're NOTHING like real labor contractions, but mine definitely hurt sometimes. I went in to L&D a few times when I was pregnant with my first bc I didn't know what to expect and you have to be safe rather than sorry to make sure they're not the real thing, you're not dilating etc. But for me, I'm a super contractor and the only thing that would stave them off is tons and tons of water. I had BH every 3 mins for six hours straight once. I drank literally six bottles of water during that time and they finally stopped. Anyways, you do need to get regular timetable contractions checked out, but know that sometimes BH can be tricky and fake you out. 

    And as far as when to go to the hospital, your midwife/OB will give you guidelines for that. Most women (not all) shouldn't be able to walk or talk (or think... lol) during a really good labor progressing contraction. I had uncomfortable but tolerable contractions for the first 18 hours of labor with my first. They were no big deal. I let them break my water at 6cm before I got my epidural. Bad idea. If your water doesn't break and they want to break it,  get your epi beforehand if you know you want one!! They broke my water and then after that it was so freaking intense. The "can't even think straight, give me drugs" contractions began. Still took me 5 more hours to get to 10cm then 3 hours of pushing. Not gonna lie. It was awful. First labors suck for a lot (but not all) of moms. But worth it of course. ;) 
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    beff12dmontgosbarrettphotoyellingbanana
  • THis is a great idea! Here we go!

    Someone else mentioned the massaging the fundus thing post delivery-I straight up bit my husbands arm it hurt so bad. THey did it again at my first post partum! THE WORST. It could have been worse than labor-although at that point labor was a blur.

    I got up to ask for tylenol second night in the hospital-and a clot the size of a freakin' plum came out of my vagina and hit the hospital hallway floor. I freaked out. THe nurse-"Oh no-that's normal! LARGER than a plum would be a concern." And she just picked it up off the floor and checked it out the flushed it. No big.

    THe peri bottle-yes. And the numbing spray. I know they said no washing or wiping (I had stitches) and at some point I pointed the shower stream down there gently instead of the peri bottle. I couldn't sit for two days. BAD IDEA. USE THE PERI. USE IT OFTEN.
    jennbaylor12yellingbananalollypops
  • FYI you're not supposed to use car seats after they're checked because of how terribly luggage and stuff is treated. Check your car seat manuals and try to install on the plane so baby can rise safely. Car seats for the littles is adamant about this. 
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  • beff12beff12 member
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    Be warned that some people don't know what to say to a pregnant lady and can be pretty insensitive/unfiltered. Maybe there are just a lot of idiots where I live, but I had so many people ask me how much weight I had gained (this time I plan on saying "I don't know...how much have you gained?"), random strangers would say "whoa, must be twins!" and someone told me that I hadn't gained enough weight and that I needed to eat until my cheeks got fat. 

    What. DH always said they were just trying to think of something to say. I was like, what about "what size diapers do you want me to buy you?" or "here's my number so you can call me to babysit!" or "that color looks great on you." I still get mad thinking about it haha

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    dmontgoyellingbananaWinchesterGirl
  • The absolute best advise pp I got in the hospital was to have my husband install a hand held shower head. Omg! The peri squirt bottle is great, but that only does so much. I would go to the bathroom then just get in the shower and run warm water on my lady bits for like 10 mins 5x a day. So so great. Plus easy and cheap to install. All you do is unscrew your current shower head and screw on the hand held one. Bonus it work great now for my little one in the bathtub.
    Kacie209
  • I haven't seen this mentioned yet...but the swelling! I thought I was swollen before giving birth which felt bad enough. My rings stopped fitting around 6 months and I had to buy a bigger pair of shoes around 8 months. 

    I had a long terrible labor that involved pitocin for 2 days, a myriad of other drugs to stop and restart labor 3 separate times, then an emergency c section. Not even my slippers fit after 2 days in the hospital so I had my husband got buy a pair of mens slippers in size 10 (I wear women's 9). He got me ones with an adjustable strap and thank goodness he did because I had to have those at a super loose setting. 

    My slippers fit after a week and my normal shoes fit after 3 weeks. It was all swelling and since it was so extreme I had to go in every 3 days to make sure it was going down, especially around my heart. 

    Now my case was probably extreme but pitocin makes you swell so be prepared. 
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


    yellingbanana
  • Tailbone issues and migraines were the worst part for me. My tailbone would seriously shift back and forth any time I stood up after sitting on a hard surface. I had to sit in pillows and was about to buy a donut to sit on constantly. 
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  • @dmontgo if you are interested in taking a Bradley class they go over signs and nuances of labor in detail.  The general ideal of go to the hospital when contractions are 5 minutes apart doesn't work when contractions start at 2 minutes apart lol. But the Bradley class teaches you a lot about different signs, early labor, active labor and transition and is very helpful. 
    dmontgoWinchesterGirl
  • dmontgodmontgo member
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    @zubenescamali Thank you for the suggestion! In my perfect world I'd love to have a home birth and have a midwife and doula laboring with ms, but I think it's important to know about the hospital scenarios too just in case! Is there a difference between regular birthing classes and Bradley classes?
    littlebirdie28
  • @dmontgo ;Bradley classes are a lot more detailed and intense.  they are a big time commitment (I think 12 weeks?), but they teach you so much about pregnancy, labor, birth.  not just how to handle contractions but how to eat properly during your pregnancy to try to avoid complications (google Brewer diet). we talked about birth plans, watched videos, discussed "spinning babies" and the chiro webster technique, cloth diapering, baby wearing, etc etc etc.  plus we formed bonds and friendships with the other parents in our class and had a few baby play dates early on, so the support continued.  it is a must take, imo, if you are considering a home birth or a birth center.  the classes can border on the crunchy granola, and they aren't for everyone, but they are very empowering.  the best part was the classes made us focus on what we really wanted from our birth experience, which I didn't even think about for my first pregnancy, and wasn't equipped to deal with all the emotions of disappointment that I didn't realize I was having after our first birth experience.  I've also heard good things about hypnobirthing and birthing from within but no experience.

    dmontgoLinziLoo09WinchesterGirl
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