Everything you didn't want to know about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum: STM to FTM advice - Page 7 — The Bump
December 2016 Moms

Everything you didn't want to know about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum: STM to FTM advice

145791012

Re: Everything you didn't want to know about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum: STM to FTM advice

  • Amid all the things to dred, I am with @ linziloo09 - having.that baby out of me was SO wonderful I.had post birth euphoria. For.me.it lasted weeks. I wad scared about post birth sex. I.think we waited more like 8-10 weeks and for me it was enjoyable that time. In fact, post baby sex is better for.me than pre!
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Mother of an April '15 baby
    Due December 16
    LinziLoo09
  • My afterbirth cramps were not bad at all, but I'm probably in the minority. I think I also just had postpartum euphoria from finally not being pregnant anymore. I didn't care what you threw my way; I was happy!

    My lady bits, though, yea they hurt a bit. Every time I stood up, I felt immense pressure at my vagina like the rest of my organs were going to come sliding out of that big old hole now too. It got better over a week or so though. I will say that the pain made me not want to have any visitors initially. DH wanted to invite everyone over to see the baby, but I couldn't socialize while I felt like a patient with all that vaginal soreness. I needed a few hermit days to deal with it before I could see people.

    Also, don't expect your vagina to look "pretty" again. After a month or so, I held a mirror down there and was horrified. Let's just say that sometimes parts of your labia minora get ripped off in the crossfire of a vaginal birth, and nobody mentions it because plenty of other crap is going on that's worse.

    Lastly, I think it's been mentioned before, but sex after birth might hurt...a lot...even after the 6 weeks timeframe...even with a lot of lube. It took me maybe to 10 or 12 weeks to have good sex again. And at first I was really freaking out that I would never enjoy it again. It just takes time.

    I didn't think the after birth pains hurt with my first. But with my second they were much worse. Not sure if this is common or just my experience.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    BabyFetus Ticker
    maamawaabangiLinziLoo09lalamommayellingbanana
  • Loading the player...
  • I think you're right that with subsequent pregnancies they get worse... And I'm probably forgetting what it was like with my 1st. I do know with my 4th they were pretty bad! Like had to lay my head back and breath through those bad boys! 

    Due December 27th with baby #7




    ve304856
  • LushCLushC member
    Speaking of lady bits...your vagina will likely turn blue-ish or purple-ish during pregnancy because of the increased blood flow to the area. It's normal. Don't call your doctor in a panic or google it or you'll find yourself staring at the infamous Blue Waffle pics a la Urban Dictionary heehee
    PensiveCrayonajstevensonsonomama14
  • My first the after birth cramping was literally nothing. With my second... lets just say I was sobbing. Hopefully this time isn't worse. It made nursing stressful because it hurt so bad.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFetus Ticker
    ve304856
  • I posted this on the breastfeeding thread but realized it goes well here as well...I experienced dysphoric milk ejection reflex, which can absolutely play a role in your ongoing commitment to nursing. Basically for your milk to drop, your prolactin levels have to increase, and dopamine inhibits prolactin. So about a minute before your milk drops, your dopamine level will drop so the prolactin can increase. The plummet in dopamine doesn't affect every woman; however, it CAN affect some women's mood. For me, I noticed that before my milk dropped, I thought I was going to have a panic attack...every time. My anxiety would shoot through the roof. I had another friend who experienced this anxiety before the milk drop as well. Another friend said that before her milk would drop, she felt, "like the saddest woman in the world." She didn't have any postpartum depression, but this reflex actually led her to quit breastfeeding after one week. Some women note that they feel ragey/angry at the time. Dopamine just has different impacts emotionally on each individual. There is very little research on this, but out of myself and 6 other friends who gave birth around the same time, three of us noticed this issue. My advice for anyone experiencing this is to pay attention when it's happening and know that it is acute. I got to the point where, when I felt a flash of anxiety, I could tell myself to wait it out because it will end when your milk drops. You can push through it, and eventually it just becomes a warning of when your milk is about to drop.
    December '16 BMB

    Baby #1                                                            

    ~BFP 03/22/14 EDD 12/05/14~                       
    ~Baby Z born 11/28/14~
                           
    Baby #2
    ~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
    BabyFetus Ticker

    SaveSaveSaveSave
    PensiveCrayonsonomama14
  • On a related note, I got a high when I would breastfeed. Just like a sense of calm and happiness flooded me. Which is awesome. Until I weened. I had to ween twice in a month because we had some allergy issues that were very difficult to figure out but that loss of my feeding highs took a toll on me. It was a tough time anyways because of the issues DS was having with eating so I'm not sure how much was due to what but I was so anxious and agitated for a couple weeks after. I wish I had remembered that mood changes can come with weening but I forgot and just thought I was having a crazy time. I'll be more sensitive and gentle with myself this time.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Mother of an April '15 baby
    Due December 16
    LinziLoo09yellingbanana
  • Oh geez, weaning led to some serious mood issues for me. I think the changes in my oxytocin level or whatnot. When I cut back feedings to just twice a day, I went into a depression for several weeks, and cutting off entirely led to another brief depression. It was relatively short and clearly connected to the weaning, but it can screw with your emotions for sure.
    December '16 BMB

    Baby #1                                                            

    ~BFP 03/22/14 EDD 12/05/14~                       
    ~Baby Z born 11/28/14~
                           
    Baby #2
    ~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
    BabyFetus Ticker

    SaveSaveSaveSave
    slartybartfast
  • ajstevensonajstevenson member
    edited June 2016
    Okay, I have a question. Every one seems to be talking about constipation but I have the exact opposite issue. I'm having diarrhea 5-6 DAYS A WEEK. Anyone else have sloppy shits?

    Edited for spelling.

    Pregnancy Ticker 

    yellingbananalittlebirdie28
  • Okay, I have a question. Every one seems to be talking about constipation but I have the exact opposite issue. I'm having diarrhea 5-6 DAYS A WEEK. Anyone else have sloppy shits?

    Edited for spelling.
    That is what made me test. It has gone away for the most part now that I am almost 15 weeks.


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


    DiFazettelittlebirdie28
  • Thank you! I'm 10w5d and it's still going strong. I'm hoping it subsides with my 2nd tri.

    Pregnancy Ticker 

    princesslockness
  • My TimeHop today reminded me of another piece of advice. It's my daughters 2nd bday (cue all the tears) and I had posted a photo of the first time I held her. I remember seeing that photo after it had been taken and thinking, "dear God-- DELETE THAT!" My face was swollen and tired, my hair was matted and unruly, my eyes were red and puffy... But now it is one of my favorite photos. Regardless of what your birthing experience looks like, it's all a blur of events. Once things get going it all just sort of happens and it's so nice to have those first moments frozen in a picture. I can feel my exhaustion when I see that picture but I can also, so tangibly, feel the crazy burst of love I was experiencing for the first time. Ok, now I'm crying. 
    Moral of the story-- DONT DELETE THE PICTURES!!
    totally crying over here with you after reading this!
    Christinaruth74DiFazetteyellingbananadoodleoodle
  • @ajstevenson I'm about where you are, timewise. It alternates for me--somedays I'll be stopped up, and other days it's free flowin'. But pre-pregnancy I always had very loose stools, so that could also be a factor.
    Me: 31 | DH: 31
    Together since 2003 | Married 2010
    TTC #1 January 2016
    BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
    Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017

    TTC#2 March 2018
    BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
  • @pensivecrayon I'm glad I'm not the only one!

    Pregnancy Ticker 

  • lalamomma said:
    My first the after birth cramping was literally nothing. With my second... lets just say I was sobbing. Hopefully this time isn't worse. It made nursing stressful because it hurt so bad.
    This terrifies me! This is my second...
  • lalamomma said:
    My first the after birth cramping was literally nothing. With my second... lets just say I was sobbing. Hopefully this time isn't worse. It made nursing stressful because it hurt so bad.
    This terrifies me! This is my second...
    Just keep the Tylenol handy
    BabyFruit Ticker
    BabyFetus Ticker
    maamawaabangi
  • You know, even with the thought of post-pregnancy cramping coming my way, I'm such a miserable pregnant woman that I'm hoping my ecstasy at no longer being a high-occupancy person will help dull some of the pains...Whatever it is will be better than being pregnant :)
    December '16 BMB

    Baby #1                                                            

    ~BFP 03/22/14 EDD 12/05/14~                       
    ~Baby Z born 11/28/14~
                           
    Baby #2
    ~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
    BabyFetus Ticker

    SaveSaveSaveSave
    slartybartfastbeff12ve304856bakerstreetboys
  • Sarah1253Sarah1253 member
    edited June 2016
    For me at he labor part was super relaxed (I had an epidural). I was also induced so it was a very controlled experience. I got breakfast, Lunch, then had my epidural placed. Took a nap and watched two movies. Then at 6:42PM I had my little boy. Once the Epidural wore off I started puking and could definitely tell something happened. Honestly the worst part for me was the two days spent in the hospital. I cried the whole second night  (It was New Years Eve) and my nurse told me it's very common for women to break down on the second night. The hemroids were awful! I had a third degree tear but the hemroids bothered me more.  
    BabyFetus Ticker
    Samuel Jacob 
    Due 2/16/17



    yellingbanana
  • @ava.vaudine 
    Pain meds, good luck! With each c-section I had (2, on to my 3rd), they gave me enough pain meds for a week. A week! I just had my stomach and uterus sliced open, a 9lb child pulled out, but the pain is supposed to be gone in a week?!?! I had to pretty much beg for a refill for 4 more days. 

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


  • @yellingbanana that is interesting. I didn't take anything but the ibuprofen once I left the hospital. I never actually filled my hydrocodone script after my emergency CS.


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


    yellingbananaDiFazette
  • Question, has any STM experienced this? The other night I was laying down on my side on the couch and out of no where felt this cramp in my lower abdomen. Anything I did just made the pain worse. It finally went away on its own. There was no bleeding and I was sore for the rest of the night. Was this RLP??? I've experienced RLP before, but nothing like this.
    Married 4/12/13
    Anniversary
    TTC since 6/13
    Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
    BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
    Pregnancy Ticker




  • @Kate08Young you must have great pain tolerance! Or I was moving around too much! 

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


  • @Kate08Young you must have great pain tolerance! Or I was moving around too much! 
    Must just be one of those oddities.


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


  • @yellingbanana that is interesting. I didn't take anything but the ibuprofen once I left the hospital. I never actually filled my hydrocodone script after my emergency CS.
    This was me as well - fingers crossed I can do it again after this CS
    BabyFruit Ticker
    princesslocknessDiFazette
  • I'm not sure my after birth cramping was too bad either. Maybe I blocked it out. I was med free and honestly the most painful thing was the episiotomy and the stitches. Those hurt like a mofo, though I never had more than ibprofin either. 
    November D16  Siggy Challenge-Thanksgiving Fails





    Pregnancy Ticker
    princesslocknessSmashJam
  • Mamax2Mamax2 member
     It's interesting how people experience similar births but have varying experience or feelings about it. That's why it's super important to own birth, take what you get and also don't worry too much and let other people's experiences effect how you respond and feel about your's. 
    Very wise words!
    jenlynne0624doodleoodleyellingbanana
  • This may be a dumb FTM question and may not fit in this feed but I have a question about babies sleeping.  I work first shift and DH works 3rd.  I will be going back to work at 12 weeks.  The plan is for DH to stay home during the day and sleep when baby naps and then again in the evening when I get home until he leaves.  Then I am on my own for night time hours.  A shift change is not an option right now.  My question is what can we expect as far as napping those first couple of months? 3-6 months?  How long and frequent will he be able to sleep during the day?  Thanks!!!

  • @BenNSarah it totally depends on the kid. Mine napped on me for threat like six months of his life and I napped too. If you want to avoid that, k think three to four naps is common for that age group for 1-2 hours at a clip. Some will take fewer naps for a long time. Get baby on a schedule as soon as you can so its predictable. Ds would slee from about 1-4 in the afternoon for awhile plus a morning nap around 9 or so. Eventually as they get older nap times shift to three to two then one. 
    November D16  Siggy Challenge-Thanksgiving Fails





    Pregnancy Ticker
    yellingbanana
  • @BenNSarah L was and still is an oddity about sleep, but he STTN since we came home from the hospital. He took 3 60-90 minute naps until about 5 months old. They were at 9am 1:30 and 5-6 depending on when I picked him up from daycare. Then he would go down at 8:30 and wake up at 2 am for a bottle, then I would wake him at 7 am for the day.


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


  • Anyone STMs had/have an anterior placenta and if so, when did you first start feeling movements? I had my monthly checkup yesterday and my doctor told me he saw the ultrasound tech note that I had one. I told him she told me that too. He said I'll probably feel movements later vs. sooner and I might feel them less because my placenta is acting as a cushion.  :/
    Me: 29
    DH: 30
    Happily Ever After: 05-15-2015
    TTC since June 2015 
    BFP 3/21! - E.D.D. 11/28/16!


    Pregnancy Ticker
    September Football Siggy


  • ve304856ve304856 member
    edited June 2016
    @sammyl1221 I had one with DD I  remember feeling flutters early on, but maybe that's because it was my second baby. I also read that with anterior placentas that the baby likes to face the placenta and could come up face up, which was the case for me.

    ETA: you could possibly feel the baby earlier, but won't feel ot from the outside until a little later than normal
    BabyFruit Ticker
    BabyFetus Ticker
    sammyl1221
  • @sammyl1221 I had one last time, and it looks like this time too. I felt flutters around 17 or 18 weeks last time. We could finally distinguish them from gas because they were hiccups...very rhythmic. And the placenta provides no cushion whatsoever in 3rd tri once the baby starts to try to kick its way out through your belly button.
    December '16 BMB

    Baby #1                                                            

    ~BFP 03/22/14 EDD 12/05/14~                       
    ~Baby Z born 11/28/14~
                           
    Baby #2
    ~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
    BabyFetus Ticker

    SaveSaveSaveSave
    sammyl1221yellingbanana
  • @sammyl1221 I had one last time, and it looks like this time too. I felt flutters around 17 or 18 weeks last time. We could finally distinguish them from gas because they were hiccups...very rhythmic. And the placenta provides no cushion whatsoever in 3rd tri once the baby starts to try to kick its way out through your belly button.
    Me too and this. I didn't realize the anterior placenta meant a thing until this time when I have a posterior one.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Mother of an April '15 baby
    Due December 16
    sammyl1221
  • Just wondering, what can I expect from a scheduled C-section? Asking all you moms who have had one before since this will be our first baby and we have to have one. When were you able to get skin-to-skin contact with baby for the first time? When did you get to nurse? What kind of anesthesia were you given, did you get to choose? When did you get to leave the hospital? I know my experience will end up being different but I want a rough idea of what my choices are and what I can expect to make it feel like as much of a "natural" birth as possible. 
  • Just wondering, what can I expect from a scheduled C-section? Asking all you moms who have had one before since this will be our first baby and we have to have one. When were you able to get skin-to-skin contact with baby for the first time? When did you get to nurse? What kind of anesthesia were you given, did you get to choose? When did you get to leave the hospital? I know my experience will end up being different but I want a rough idea of what my choices are and what I can expect to make it feel like as much of a "natural" birth as possible. 
    I'm wondering these things too. 

    I had an emergency c section last time after a far too long labor where I flatlined and my baby dropped off the monitor. I did not see my baby for 4 hours. She was rushed to the nicu, I was stuck getting rebuilt. DH wasn't even allowed into the room for the birth. I'm hoping a scheduled one is much calmer! 

    Even with all the complications, I left the hospital after like 60 hours. I had the c section a little after midnight Friday and I was home at lunch on Sunday. I couldn't wait to leave and I was cleared to leave after 48 hours....but my hospital doesn't release except between 10am-3pm. And anyways my baby wasn't cleared until 10 minutes before we left as she had to make significant progress on her jaundice. 
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


  • @ashleaf2018: you might talk to your doctor about doing a "gentle c-section" since its scheduled. You can read about here: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/09/390977656/the-gentle-cesarean-more-like-a-birth-than-an-operation
    EQD born 12/15!

    ashleaf2018
  • @ashleaf2018 I second the recommendation for a gentle cesarean.  mine was of the standard variety, baby in distress, strap me to the table, freezing cold operating room, shave me, catheter, ekg leads on my chest, temp monitor on my forehead, SCDs on my legs, bright lights blinding me, me shaking from the anesthesia epidural, lots of tugging, baby pulled out and put in the bassinet, apgar'd and cleaned, finally placed on my chest but since my arms were strapped down I couldn't hold her.  first picture is an awkward, half smile and baby bundled up while the nurse holds her to my chest.  DH got to hold her, then they took me into recovery, alone, baby and DH went somewhere else and I got to lay there and cry by myself.
    even if they won't do some of the things like lower the drape, unstrap your arms, at least demand to be with baby during recovery.  laying there alone was devastating.
  • I don't know if this question was asked but did any STMs have a natural birth? Thoughts? Comments? Words of Encouragment? 
    Me: 29
    DH: 30
    Happily Ever After: 05-15-2015
    TTC since June 2015 
    BFP 3/21! - E.D.D. 11/28/16!


    Pregnancy Ticker
    September Football Siggy


    SmashJam
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards