Everything you didn't want to know about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum: STM to FTM advice - Page 2 — The Bump
December 2016 Moms

Everything you didn't want to know about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum: STM to FTM advice

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Re: Everything you didn't want to know about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum: STM to FTM advice

  • beff12beff12 member
    @acreight13, we did the baby blanket trick too! When he went home to check on the dog, DH took a blanket that DD had been wrapped in. He did that a couple times. When we brought DD home, he sniffed her and that was that haha. He's pretty chill anyways, but she didn't affect him one bit!

    June Siggy Challenge: Dad Fails

    Married 7.28.2012
    DD born 7.27.2014
    BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
    BFP 4.12.2016...EDD: Christmas Eve 2016!




    LinziLoo09jennbaylor12
  • Labor can be long and a tiring. You will most likely not be allowed to eat, just in case something goes wrong and you have to have to have a c-section. Bring snacks: for you, DH, other kids, or just because they looked good. If you get the baby out after the kitchen closes, you might not be able to get a 'meal' until morning.


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


    bakerstreetboysjennbaylor12LinziLoo09
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  • This has been the best thread ever. Do you ladies have any advice or insights for the first or second trimester that we might not know about?! Thanks!


    Me:27   H:30
    Till death do us part: 7.2.2011
    Trying to conceive since 01.2014
    Low AFC and azoospermia
    IVF #1 03.2016 - BFP 03.28.2016
    Due: 12.05.2016

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    littlebirdie28
  • FTMs: Go ahead and ask questions. That's what this board is here for. I was browsing through some of my posts in my original BMB from when I was pregnant with my daughter... I was eye rolling myself pretty hard, but I knew nothing. I was so grateful for a slew of women who had been there and who could answer some of my most silly (and seemingly obvious) questions. 
    DiFazettejennbaylor12LinziLoo09Mamax2
  • Oh! There's a reason due dates are "estimated". Please don't assume that your baby will pop right out on their due date like it's no big deal. Babies have minds of their own even before they are outside of your body and they often don't follow directions well. (Just like their fathers if your DH or DF or BF or life partner is anything like my DH.)

    My DS came out 18 days late after 31.5 hours of pitocin induced labor. Yikes!

    jennbaylor12Kbchavez23TamNpickle
  • dmontgodmontgo member
    What has been people's experience with diastasis recti? Is it just an aesthetic thing or can there be complications with it while you're recovering (either vaginal or c-section)? Is it a good idea to wear a PP girdle for it, or is that a waste of time?

    I try to stay active and I was just wondering about any health or fitness implications regarding it. Thank you!
  • If anyone has any tips for managing college classes and a new baby at the same time, I would love to hear it! I only have about 5 weeks from the time I deliver to school starting back for spring semester so I most likely will take online classes and have a reduced course load (9-12 hours instead of 15), but would love more insight from STMs who have dealt with something similar. :)
    prb09003
  • beff12 said:
    For first trimester advice, the best I have is that it will end. I know people are always all "this too shall pass," and that sucks to hear, but we know without a doubt that first tri will end. For many of us we'll feel like new people somewhere around second tri, and unfortunately some people won't feel much of a difference. I think the best you can do is remain positive, have the end of first tri in sight, and hope and pray that you'll feel better then!

    Don't worry about what you can and can't eat right now. As long as you are eating something (be it cake, vegetables, or easy mac three times a day) and taking your vitamins, your baby will be fine. 

    Part of the reason that we feel so crappy is because our babies take everything they need, even if that means depriving us totally of the protein that we just ate (I know there's way more science to it than that, but you guys get what I'm saying). So while you feel like you're dying, your tiny baby is in there like, "man, mom is awesome!"
    Yep :)  My OB likened it to a parasite.  A wonderful parasite, but a parasite nonetheless! 
    beff12princesslocknessLinziLoo09PensiveCrayon
  • LOVE this thread! As a first time mom, it's helpful. I have friends/family members that have had children, but the more information for me, the better!
    Me: 37 years old
    DH: 39 years old
    Married: October 17, 2014
    TTC Since: November 2015
    BFP: March 31, 2016
    DS: November 21, 2016

    December'16 December Siggy Challenge: Elf on the Shelf Fails **winner**





    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    LinziLoo09littlebirdie28
  • JessCL said:
    beff12 said:
    ****TRIM*****
    Yep :)  My OB likened it to a parasite.  A wonderful parasite, but a parasite nonetheless! 
    My last OB called it my tumor.
    For me it was funnier after I ended up with a C-section, as L was literally removed like a tumor. 


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


    LinziLoo09beff12bakerstreetboys
  • dmontgodmontgo member
    Just bumping to see if anyone had seen my question about diastasis recti. This thread is popular and I think I posted at the same time as a lot of people. :)
    PensiveCrayon
  • My water broke and then I kept replenishing the amniotic fluid so while labor what's starting, I was walking around filling adult diaper after adult diaper.

    also, when active labor started, I didn't have breaks between contractions. This lasted about 18 hours and my contraction pain gripped my entire core. Turns out that's called back labor. 

    If I were reading this stuff as a FTM right now I would be so overwhelmed. Stick it all in the back of your mind and know that every pregnancy and labor and birth and baby are different.

    for me, last time, first tri was a nightmare. 2nd tri was 1/2 nightmare, half recovering from the nightmare. Third tri was a peice of cake. Labor was a nightmare, postpartum was blissful. Even with the recovery stuff.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Mother of an April '15 baby
    Due December 16
    beff12PensiveCrayonLinziLoo09
  • beff12beff12 member
    dmontgo said:
    Just bumping to see if anyone had seen my question about diastasis recti. This thread is popular and I think I posted at the same time as a lot of people. :)
    @dmontgo, I didn't have any experience with that - I hope someone can help you!


    I was thinking about water breaking. I always thought it would be all Hollywood-esque, a gush on your bathroom floor and then off to the hospital. My water didn't break until I had been in labor for 5ish hours and I was about 20 minutes out from pushing. Like @slartybartfast said, everyone is different!

    June Siggy Challenge: Dad Fails

    Married 7.28.2012
    DD born 7.27.2014
    BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
    BFP 4.12.2016...EDD: Christmas Eve 2016!




    dmontgo
  • @beff12 My Ob had to break my water at the hospital,  twice, because apparently he didn't make a large enough break the first time.


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


    beff12
  • -Ditto everything!

    -I agree with pain meds especially. They knocked me out and made me sick. DH had to hold my puke bag. This time I'll only be having the epidural, Lord willing.

    -Post partum hormones are horrible. Get help if you need it. There's no shame in it at all.

    -Gas during mid-late pregnancy becomes unreal. I once let it slip and scared the mess out of me and my dog.

    -Ask for extra mesh undies and dermaplast at the hospital. They will be your buff.

    -You will pee your pants at least once while pregnant after a giant cough and/or sneeze....or just because.

    -I had heard about tearing...but no one warned me of how painful recovery would be. I had a 4th degree. The ice pack, peri bottle, dermaplast and still softeners were my best friend. I also use a swimmy ring and covered it with a pillow case to sit on. 

    Having said all this, every bit of the weird, painful, awkward stuff is so worth it. I would do this a million times over for my son and for this one too. There's so much more positive than negative, and it's all for a good reason! So enjoy every second. It goes way to fast. <3


    dmontgobeff12LinziLoo09SaraRose83
  • Things I forgot:

    -Be prepared to sniss during second and third trimesters. Start carrying poise pads
    - you will probably over pack your hospital bag. I didn't use half of what was in mine since the hospital gave us everything I would need post-partum and for baby. You really only need toiletries and outfits and electronics chargers. And take EVERYTHING the hospital gives you. Diapers, wipes, blanket, snap shirts for baby, hats, Dermoplast (Take it all), mesh underwear, peri bottles, the sitz bath thing (when lightening crotch hits, you'll want one of those anyway pre baby)
    -You may not connect with your baby immediately. Not every mother is going to have that movie moment where they see their baby and the world stops. You may also have name regret.
    -change positions while in labor. H deceled when I labored on my back, but if I labored on my side, I was much more comfortable and he was ok.
    - post partum hair loss about 3 months after baby. Be. Ready. You'll lose enough hair on the daily to make your own Barbie doll.
    -The baby blues are real post partum, but if you have a feeling something may seriously be wrong, do not be ashamed and talk to your ob about Post-partum anxiety and depression. It affects more people than you think. 
    -lastly- sorry, brevity is not my thing- be prepared to answer 2397697 questions after the baby is here. You'll have so much paper work to fill out it gets a little daunting. Ask your partner for help.
    November D16  Siggy Challenge-Thanksgiving Fails





    Pregnancy Ticker
    PensiveCrayonLinziLoo09kattyc-2
  • @schwee25 - that's the perfect GIF!!

    Okay ladies - help a STM out because I have a question!!!  Just got my shower and noticed one of my breasts is lumpy.  Is this due to the changes in my body?  Anyone have/had this?  I would cry if I had to have a mammogram right now.  These girls are SO sensitive.  
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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    Shwee25
  • @DiFazette It might be your milk ducts, it might be something else. I wouldn't panic yet, but I would lmake sure my doc looked at them during my next app.


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


    DiFazetteLinziLoo09
  • FitTrisFitTris member
    Second time moms...no one warned me, but your ute shrinking during your first breastfeeding attempts HURTS. The cramping too my breath away. I was in tears! Way different than with DS 1. My obgyn told me it's because your ute is working even harder to shrink down. I'm thinking it won't be any better for round 3! 
    lalamomma
  • beff12beff12 member
    @DiFazette, strange question, but are the lumps movable? I have fibroadenomas all over my boobs and they swell up with hormones. They're harmless but annoying and painful. 

    June Siggy Challenge: Dad Fails

    Married 7.28.2012
    DD born 7.27.2014
    BFP 09.2015 - m/c 10.21.2015
    BFP 4.12.2016...EDD: Christmas Eve 2016!




    DiFazette
  • FitTris said:
    Second time moms...no one warned me, but your ute shrinking during your first breastfeeding attempts HURTS. The cramping too my breath away. I was in tears! Way different than with DS 1. My obgyn told me it's because your ute is working even harder to shrink down. I'm thinking it won't be any better for round 3! 
    Oy. Lovely. I felt it with DS but it wasn't overly uncomfortable
    BabyFruit Ticker
    princesslocknessDiFazette
  • Shwee25Shwee25 member
    @DiFazette , I have them too!  When I went in for my pap smear, she did a breast exam and felt the lumps before I was even aware they were there. She said it is nothing to worry about and completely normal to develop because of all the hormones.

    Me: 25 | Him: 31

    Married: September 2014

    DSS Born 2/2/08

    TTC our 1st since December 2015

    BFP 3/18/16 - EDD 12/1/16

    Proud Parents of a 5 year old Miniature Dachshund

    DiFazette
  • I'm not sure if this has been said yet or not, but after baby arrives expect for your marriage to go through some growing pains. DH was super involved during my first pregnancy. He waited on me hand and foot and went to every medical appointment. He read more books than I did on pregnancy and birth etc. I expected him to be super involved after the baby arrived because of this, but he just wasn't and from what I hear that's pretty normal. Newborns eat almost constantly and I was breastfeeding so there really wasn't much he could do, looking back. 

    When your pediatrician visits LO in the hospital ask them to check for a lip/tongue tie if they are having a lot of trouble latching.

    If you plan on breastfeeding you need to EAT!! I had no appetite after giving birth for almost 3 weeks. Even once my appetite returned I hardly had time to eat and would forget. Breastfeeding isn't like pregnancy. With pregnancy all of your nutrients go to baby first. With breastfeeding all of your nutrients go to you AND THEN producing milk. 

    Use lanolin on your nipples before and after each nursing session. Bloody, chapped nipples are not fun. You don't want to dread feeding your baby.
    dmontgoPensiveCrayonjennbaylor12LinziLoo09
  • @beff12 - I don't think they're moving but I massaged where it was worst and it got better/smaller.  It kid of feels like a soft knot in a muscle.  Not small, not hard, just lumpy.  

    @schwee25 - thanks!  I have large, fibrous breasts and I'm hoping it's just hormone influx.  

    I I go to the doc next week so I'll mention it then.  I did a little Dr. Googling and it seems fairly common.  
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker     


    beff12
  • Oh also I swear I felt and heard my water break. I jumped out of bed and there was next to nothing coming out. More when I went to bathroom and then more when I was being examined before being admitted. 
    I do recommend a waterproof mattress pad just in case. Put my mind at ease because I was so concerned with that every night near the end.  It did happen in bed, but didn't gush. 
    Trying for #2 since November 2015

    DS #1 - 7/25/13

    dmontgo
  • @LinziLoo09 I had never heard of those "strawberries" you mentioned, but dude (er, lady!)--I totally found a red pimple-like spot on one of my love handles. Like an idiot, I managed to pop it, and all that came out was blood. I've got a band-aid on it right now to keep me from touching it again. Yeah, I have issues.

    And re: the pregnancy shakes, I recently read that it's totally natural even for vaginal births. Good to know, otherwise I would have thought I was dying. :)

    Me: 31 | DH: 31
    Together since 2003 | Married 2010
    TTC #1 January 2016
    BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
    Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017

    TTC#2 March 2018
    BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
    LinziLoo09
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