Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Breastfeeding Questions/Support/Learnings Go Here
DS is more laid back. I go back in 3 weeks and he's taken a bottle only 3 times. We've only tried 4 times though.
I would say 1 bottle a day is enough to get them used to it.
No matter what, being away from you is going to be a huge adjustment so expect there to be some bumps that first week or 2.
For my kids the way they are held, or not held, is what's made the difference. The type of bottle has r mattered. DD didn't want to be touched. DS wants you to hold him like you're nursing him. So play around with how you hold them too.
I only mind because she is now not emptying my breast and has to be moved to the other one each feed (used to be a strictly one boob per feed girl) her poos are a tad green today too and i am thinking this is all leading to a foremilk imbalance. Could use some advice. Anyone else experience this?
edit to include that she is not unhappy or upset. I dont think its an overactive let down or anything like annupset stomach. its almost more like she is making a game of it or exploring the ability to control her environment.
But it he's been doing the same thing of wanting to eat off both boobs at most feedings. I agree it seems to be some wanting to control because he'll cry if he's not on the boob he wants. I've given him a bottle a few times when I'm tired of trying to get him to eat well or tired of having to switch back and forth between boobs
Mine always feeds from both sides so I'm not sure what to tell you on that front, except maybe try block feeding?
Some times while pumping I did wish I had bigger bottles because I have one super boob that produces 75% of my milk and would overflow the 5oz bottle.
@MargaretC5
I also have a super boob, I just swith the bottle in the middle of pumping so they I don't over flow.
I've heard the same and it was true for us last time.
I too have a little miss piggy!
Maybe if you add a feeding in the night or clusterfeed before bed lo wont need as much during the day? Thats my only thought!
Is DC saying he is finishing every bottle? Is it possible they are dumping a little from each bottle if your LO does not finish it?
If he does eat it all, maybe try sending bottles with an oz less to see if he is just eating it because it is in the bottle and easy to get. You could always send the extra oz separately just in case he does want it.
One other thought, when is the last feed at DC? Are they sending him home hungry or full? If they can time his last feed so you can nurse him when you get home it might help, since that would be less milk you need to pump.
My MIL takes care of my son on most days during the week. I have a great relationship with her. We talked about paced feeding weeks ago and I have no reason to think she's not doing this... But I guess I wonder. I think I'll bring it up at the next pick-up.
I give my milk to her in a quart jar every morning, so portioning out bottles differently wouldn't really apply in our situation... But I think it's a good idea to ask her if she's dumping milk he doesn't finish. Every ounce is precious... I believe she gives him 4oz bottles and she says he seems to be hungry every 1.5-2hrs. He also eats very frequently on the weekends when I'm home to breastfeed, so I suspect she's right that he's hungry (not just tired, bored, wet, etc.). I wonder if increasing the bottle size to 6 or 8oz would keep him satisfied for longer and reduce the overall amount?
I never thought breastfeeding would be so complicated! It seems so simple at first glance (just feed the baby) but it gets so complicated when you actually do it in the real world...
I first noticed it because lo was getting greener stools kind of like when i had an oversupply and a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance.
Once he learned coping skills and what her cries were about she starting taking more like an once an hour. She typically drank 3 to 4 bottles that were 3 ounces each.
I go back in 2 weeks so we will see how much DS takes.
Even before BFing most women have one bigger than the other. There's not much you can do.
^ I agree with that. I would actually send premeasured bottles instead of a big quart so the ratio of fat is even throughout each bottle.
Last time I pumped right into bottles or bags and that's how they went into the fridge to be given to DD. I will do the same again. Mixing it all together and then taking a little out at a time might be throwing off the balance.
On a "long" work day I feed him at 7:00am and get back home at 5:15pm to a hungry baby.
During that time the most he'll have is 16oz.
But I can't help but feel frustrated - I feel like I'm giving him so much milk and he still isn't gaining. I thought that maybe you ladies would say that 2oz/hr is what your LOs are consuming as well, but it seems like that is quite a lot. I'm hesitant to cut back on his milk (even though it's majorly stressing me to make this much) because what if that slows his growth even more? I wonder if a fat imbalance could be to blame? I never considered that the quart jar could be messing with things...
I did see a lactation consultant, but she just said over and over again that I need to "feed the baby on demand." It was a really frustrating, disheartening appointment.
I'm in a similar situation as you, bebe drinks more milk than I can usually pump while I'm at work and I have a feeling @Pontot31 hit the nail on the head as far as caregiver jumping to feeding when they get fussy instead of trying other things. My husband stays home with her while I'm gone and at first he would always jump to giving her a bottle when she cried whether that was what was wrong or not. He's getting much better at distinguishing her needs now and also pacing her bottles so I've seen a little bit of a decrease in the amount I need to pump. So that might be part of it.
I was feeling so stressed out about pumping enough, then found a few cans of formula I got as free samples and started mixing a little bit of formula in with her breast milk bottles and that has really taken the stress out of it because I don't feel this immense pressure to pump x amount of ounces of milk per day. I started pumping more when I did that I'm sure because I was less anxious about it. Just something to think about, it's always ok to supplement if you need to!!
Make sure you arent taking any decongestants or download the lactmed app to make sure any meds you are taking wont affect your supply.