FFFC

BostonBaby1 · January 2016

Flame Free Friday Confessions:

Not always flame-free but I say we do it anyhow.

BostonBaby1 · January 2016

I believe that medicine in pregnancy can be okay so long as the benefits outweigh the risks. Call me crazy, but I only go to doctors that I trust.

lillebowski23 · January 2016

I miss my daily post work vape session. Meditation helps me with anxiety but nothing works for me like some Mary Jane.

ninji15 · January 2016

It really bothers me when I see people with EBT and/or other government assistance in line at a grocery store with a shit ton of alcohol. It especially bothers me when a preganant woman does it (with gov assistance..), even if it isn't for her. I may be a jerk but that's just how I feel after being a Walmart cashier for 2 years. I get it, they are human too. But honestly I can't even afford alcohol and some of the food they get and I work my ass off. It just irks me.

DominiqueU · January 2016

ninji15 said:
It really bothers me when I see people with EBT and/or other government assistance in line at a grocery store with a shit ton of alcohol. It especially bothers me when a preganant woman does it (with gov assistance..), even if it isn't for her. I may be a jerk but that's just how I feel after being a Walmart cashier for 2 years. I get it, they are human too. But honestly I can't even afford alcohol and some of the food they get and I work my ass off. It just irks me.

I hear ya. I know that some people need help and that's what the system is there for. But when I'm in line at the grocery store after working all day long with my little basket of food and my pile of coupons and someone in front of me pays nothing for a huge cart of food and I can see their fancy phone, designer purse, and newly manicured nails, it is frustrating.

thebigoaktree · January 2016

The women who don't believe in circumcision. You bother me. To me the health out weighs my son's lack of choice making and trust me he's not going to come back as an adult and have that done.

jlgriff11 · January 2016

My confession: I love dirty romance novels. The kind little old ladies read.

ncm1919 · January 2016

I'm going to sound like an asshole but I had my first oh shit, what did we do getting pregnant moments last night.

I spent last night alone and sick on my couch. We had plans to go see Phish at MSG last night in a luxury box with 18 other people. These plans were made prior to gettin pregnant. If you know Phish, attending wasn't an option. I gave my husband the blessing to go as a last hurrah. It is too cool of an opportunity to make him miss.

On top of that, I have a head cold that I'm hoping desperately isn't becoming a sinus infection. Normally I would take antibiotics immediately but trying to go natural for baby. I was going to go to a house party but realized I was too sick/sober to even enjoy that.

Being alone and sick on NYE was super depressing. I know this will all be worth it but I was feeling sorry for my sober/boring/lonely self. I know this baby is going to be the best thing ever happened but it kicked my ass last night.

We have lived an extremely selfish lifestyle these last few years with wonderful travel and lots of activities with friends. Last night was just the first slap in the face that my old life is over. I'm knew that but the real deal was harsher than what I imagined. And being alone exacerbated the feeling. Now I'm sick and happy not to be running around Nyc but last night was dicey.

TL;DR- I wanted to go out last night. Can't because of baby. NYE sick and alone blows. I'm a selfish baby

PugsandKisses · January 2016

@Natinat6 I have done more traveling and experience amazing things with my kids than before, including planes, trains, cabins, and cruises.
Life does not stop when you get knocked up and have kids. It just changes lanes.

It also makes you realize what is real fun instead of just 'partying '.

We are currently planning my eldest 3rd cruise, with my family. The first two were amazing. I think this time we will go to Mexico.

stillcozy · January 2016

thebigoaktree said:
The women who don't believe in circumcision. You bother me. To me the health out weighs my son's lack of choice making and trust me he's not going to come back as an adult and have that done.

I've read though studies now show there isn't much health risk in not circumsizing and the risk is below 2% in developed countries.

PugsandKisses · January 2016

Lindsayleigh1989 said:

thebigoaktree said:
The women who don't believe in circumcision. You bother me. To me the health out weighs my son's lack of choice making and trust me he's not going to come back as an adult and have that done.
I've read though studies now show there isn't much health risk in not circumsizing and the risk is below 2% in developed countries.

Do we really need to get into this issue THIS early in our pregnancies. People can pull up great information that backs their side, for both sides. Plus most of us don't know what we are having yet.

The circumcision debate makes me cringe. Debating it will never change some ones mind. It just makes people rage.

TiffRox81 · January 2016

@Natinat6 I can definitely relate to you. My husband and I are also selfish people that go to nice dinners, travel and spend a lot of time in non-kid friendly environments. It has worried me how our life will change because we also don't have a ton of family that can help with the baby. It took me some deep thinking but I've told myself to be happy for those years because some people never get to have that!!

Things will obviously be different, but we also want to make baby a part of the things we enjoy after his/her arrival because those experiences shape a person! I wouldn't worry too much because as you said, once the baby comes all your concerns will probably fade!!

@PugsandKisses You are my inspiration!! That's exactly what my husband and I say. We don't want to quit everything we love, we'll just be making some modifications.

blackgirlmagic · January 2016

@thebigoaktree I have two coworkers that got this done later in life. One got his done when he was an adult, I want to guess and say maybe in their 30's. He said it was some of the worst pain he has ever felt in his life. My other coworker got his done when he was 11 or 12. It was more of a culture thing where he is from getting it done around that age. He said in the town he was from you would see little boys walking around with bags of ice on their penis and everyone would know why.

juliagulia38 · January 2016

DominiqueU said:

ninji15 said:
It really bothers me when I see people with EBT and/or other government assistance in line at a grocery store with a shit ton of alcohol. It especially bothers me when a preganant woman does it (with gov assistance..), even if it isn't for her. I may be a jerk but that's just how I feel after being a Walmart cashier for 2 years. I get it, they are human too. But honestly I can't even afford alcohol and some of the food they get and I work my ass off. It just irks me.
I hear ya. I know that some people need help and that's what the system is there for. But when I'm in line at the grocery store after working all day long with my little basket of food and my pile of coupons and someone in front of me pays nothing for a huge cart of food and I can see their fancy phone, designer purse, and newly manicured nails, it is frustrating.

Just because they have a nice phone, designer purse or nice nails doesn't mean they paid for it. Maybe they had the designer purse before when they could afford it and then something happened and now they need assistance. We have been on food stamps before. I had coach purses that were gifts before we got on food stamps. My parents also bought me an iPhone for my birthday before we got on food stamps. Sometimes when I'd visit my parents, my mom and I would go get our nails done. When I went to the store to get groceries, I would not take my coach purses and wouldn't take out my phone. I was afraid of people judging me and thinking I was "taking advantage of the system." You don't know everybody's circumstance, so try to have an open mind.

fantasticmrsfox · January 2016

juliagulia38 said:

DominiqueU said:

ninji15 said:
It really bothers me when I see people with EBT and/or other government assistance in line at a grocery store with a shit ton of alcohol. It especially bothers me when a preganant woman does it (with gov assistance..), even if it isn't for her. I may be a jerk but that's just how I feel after being a Walmart cashier for 2 years. I get it, they are human too. But honestly I can't even afford alcohol and some of the food they get and I work my ass off. It just irks me.
I hear ya. I know that some people need help and that's what the system is there for. But when I'm in line at the grocery store after working all day long with my little basket of food and my pile of coupons and someone in front of me pays nothing for a huge cart of food and I can see their fancy phone, designer purse, and newly manicured nails, it is frustrating.
Just because they have a nice phone, designer purse or nice nails doesn't mean they paid for it. Maybe they had the designer purse before when they could afford it and then something happened and now they need assistance. We have been on food stamps before. I had coach purses that were gifts before we got on food stamps. My parents also bought me an iPhone for my birthday before we got on food stamps. Sometimes when I'd visit my parents, my mom and I would go get our nails done. When I went to the store to get groceries, I would not take my coach purses and wouldn't take out my phone. I was afraid of people judging me and thinking I was "taking advantage of the system." You don't know everybody's circumstance, so try to have an open mind.

This. We had EBT for a short time while DH was finishing school and trying to work full time too. We got free iPhones with our phone plan.
But yes, it was a lot of money per month on the EBT and we were very thankful to be able to eat healthy. My grocery budget now is over $100 less than with the EBT. I understand that not everyone is as thankful or uses it wisely

Also. Im not sure if you thought this, but you can't buy alcohol with an EBT.

TL;DR my opinion is you never know someone's situation, so watch what conclusions you jump to.

thebigoaktree · January 2016

Still going to do it regardless. I only said something because some girl on my Instagram posted an article with no factual information as to why I shouldn't circumcision. And like @PugsandKisses said, people are going to do what they want. So the 2% thing could care less, the story about 2 men, doesn't sway me at all. Sorry not sorry. As usher would say "this is my confession".

PugsandKisses · January 2016

thebigoaktree said:

Still going to do it regardless. I only said something because some girl on my Instagram posted an article with no factual information as to why I shouldn't circumcision. And like @PugsandKisses said, people are going to do what they want. So the 2% thing could care less, the story about 2 men, doesn't sway me at all. Sorry not sorry. As usher would say "this is my confession".

No one is going to stop you. However, this is a 'hot topic'. If you noticed in my post, I never stated which way I sway. My decision is made and is my own (well, my family's own). Plus, this might be a girl, so it might be moot point any way.

MamaBish · January 2016

Since I have been trying to hide my blump, I have been wearing the same 3 baggy shirts for the past 3 weeks. I'm announcing on FB today mostly so I can bust out my maternity clothes and stop wearing the same 3 outfits! Hurrah for elastic waistbands and cute fitted maternity tops!

thebigoaktree · January 2016

PugsandKisses said:

thebigoaktree said:

Still going to do it regardless. I only said something because some girl on my Instagram posted an article with no factual information as to why I shouldn't circumcision. And like @PugsandKisses said, people are going to do what they want. So the 2% thing could care less, the story about 2 men, doesn't sway me at all. Sorry not sorry. As usher would say "this is my confession".

No one is going to stop you. However, this is a 'hot topic'. If you noticed in my post, I never stated which way I sway. My decision is made and is my own (well, my family's own). Plus, this might be a girl, so it might be moot point any way.

Going to go with our harmony results that there is a Y chromosome. And I know you said you're going to do what you want,that's what I was implying as well. People can debate all they want on what my fccc is,it really doesn't matter let them have at it. My fccc is that I don't like woman going after other woman that do circumcise. Which is starting to be on the same level of breastfeeding or not or vaccination or not. Should I have worded my fccc better more than likely. Over all though, people debating this topic is not going to bother my choices at all.

I am picking up what you're putting down @PugsandKisses

.

DominiqueU · January 2016

On Christmas Eve, a bunch of us got into a discussion about circumcision. Eventually, my Grandmom announced, "I'll be the judge. All the men can line up in front of me. No oldies though." She's 87 and my favorite person in the universe.

ninji15 · January 2016

AB34 said:

juliagulia38 said:

DominiqueU said:

ninji15 said:
It really bothers me when I see people with EBT and/or other government assistance in line at a grocery store with a shit ton of alcohol. It especially bothers me when a preganant woman does it (with gov assistance..), even if it isn't for her. I may be a jerk but that's just how I feel after being a Walmart cashier for 2 years. I get it, they are human too. But honestly I can't even afford alcohol and some of the food they get and I work my ass off. It just irks me.
I hear ya. I know that some people need help and that's what the system is there for. But when I'm in line at the grocery store after working all day long with my little basket of food and my pile of coupons and someone in front of me pays nothing for a huge cart of food and I can see their fancy phone, designer purse, and newly manicured nails, it is frustrating.
Just because they have a nice phone, designer purse or nice nails doesn't mean they paid for it. Maybe they had the designer purse before when they could afford it and then something happened and now they need assistance. We have been on food stamps before. I had coach purses that were gifts before we got on food stamps. My parents also bought me an iPhone for my birthday before we got on food stamps. Sometimes when I'd visit my parents, my mom and I would go get our nails done. When I went to the store to get groceries, I would not take my coach purses and wouldn't take out my phone. I was afraid of people judging me and thinking I was "taking advantage of the system." You don't know everybody's circumstance, so try to have an open mind.
This. We had EBT for a short time while DH was finishing school and trying to work full time too. We got free iPhones with our phone plan.
But yes, it was a lot of money per month on the EBT and we were very thankful to be able to eat healthy. My grocery budget now is over $100 less than with the EBT. I understand that not everyone is as thankful or uses it wisely

Also. Im not sure if you thought this, but you can't buy alcohol with an EBT.

TL;DR my opinion is you never know someone's situation, so watch what conclusions you jump to.

I did think about it, like I said I worked register for 2 years. I know exactly what gets covered and what doesn't. All that money they saved with their assistance is just going to alcohol and cigs. Not everyone does it but a lot do at the same time. If you weren't one of them I don't see why you are getting defensive on the alcohol thing. I know there are people out of there not abusing it, my comment was for those that do. But this is all just my honest opinion.

Edit: sounded too bitchy. Lol

thebigoaktree · January 2016

DominiqueU said:
On Christmas Eve, a bunch of us got into a discussion about circumcision. Eventually, my Grandmom announced, "I'll be the judge. All the men can line up in front of me. No oldies though." She's 87 and my favorite person in the universe.

I want to hang out with your grandmom.

DominiqueU · January 2016

thebigoaktree said:

DominiqueU said:
On Christmas Eve, a bunch of us got into a discussion about circumcision. Eventually, my Grandmom announced, "I'll be the judge. All the men can line up in front of me. No oldies though." She's 87 and my favorite person in the universe.
I want to hang out with your grandmom.

You should. She's a total perv.

thebigoaktree · January 2016

DominiqueU said:

thebigoaktree said:

DominiqueU said:
On Christmas Eve, a bunch of us got into a discussion about circumcision. Eventually, my Grandmom announced, "I'll be the judge. All the men can line up in front of me. No oldies though." She's 87 and my favorite person in the universe.
I want to hang out with your grandmom.
You should. She's a total perv.

Mine hates men and threatens to scalp people. She's the most angry 5 foot tall woman.

Nerdchild · January 2016

FFFC: I like to be all open-minded and say that I will love my kid whatever their choices, but I have a few irrational mental sticking points that I know I will have to overcome to be a truly loving, understanding parent. (Edit to clarify, I feel like I would stop wanting to be around my adult child for these reasons, not making a blanket statement on anyone else and their status as a loving parent. These are my issues.)

As an agnostic, I will be fine with my child taking a more spiritual path than my own, unless they are a 6,000 year old Earth creationist. My child cannot eschew scientific fact for spiritual convenience to fit a book written 2,000 years ago by a bunch of crotchety old dudes. No. Also, if they use their religion as a stance to support homophobia/transphobia/racism, etc., also no, gtfo of my house.

As the first person in my family to get a graduate degree, if my child doesn't at least get their bachelors or a certification I will really, really struggle with it. I expect my child to excel in at least some form of academic pursuit, I don't care of they get their PhD in astrophysics, their BA in 20th century black literature, or their certification with mechanic's training. I expect them to find what they both like/are good at and make their future based on that.

Flame away.

Edit: words.

stillcozy · January 2016

@PugsandKisses this board has never been against sharing opposing opinions especially if they are done in a fairly respectful manner which I think I did. It is never to early to start talking about big discussions. I doubt anyone is trying to convince anyone else just share their opinions.

@ab34 in Minnesota you can if it's at a grocery store. I work with a lot of these people and agree you should not jump to conclusions but I've also learned from them not many but a few how a few due jump the manipulate the system.

Eta: hit enter too early

thebigoaktree · January 2016

@Lindsayleigh1989 you give me all the info you want

. I know you get my snoot.

@Nerdchild yeah, how dare you want your child to make good life choices.

joleri23 · January 2016

MamaBish said:

Since I have been trying to hide my blump, I have been wearing the same 3 baggy shirts for the past 3 weeks. I'm announcing on FB today mostly so I can bust out my maternity clothes and stop wearing the same 3 outfits! Hurrah for elastic waistbands and cute fitted maternity tops!

Oh yeah! The best thing about telling people you're pregnant is that you can finally just let it hang out. I mean, random people on the street might still think you're just pudgy, but the people you're surrounded by everyday know you have a good reason!

stillcozy · January 2016

@thebigoaktree actually I was more interested in seeing and learning your information because I want to be informed and had only read what I shared and want to make an informed decision:

Nerdchild · January 2016

@thebigoaktree When I told my husband 'I will be upset if our kids don't go to college' he replied with 'Why, I didn't go to college?'. I reminded him that he has both the Montgomery G.I. Bill and the Post-9/11 G.I. Bill, and that I personally think he should get right on that going-to-college thing. I won't leave him or love him any less of he doesn't at least attempt getting a degree, but I think he is squandering his potential. I also want him to stop bringing up the 'smart educated wife/stupid soldier husband' comment, it irks me.

fantasticmrsfox · January 2016

@ninji15 I apologize if I sounded defensive, I just wasn't sure if you were saying they were buying the alcohol with the EBT.
Also, @Lindsayleigh1989 I did not know that! I think that's ridiculous.

I'm not saying people don't abuse it, just that not everyone does. I kind of think drug use should be monitored for those receiving gov. assistance, but I know a lot of children would likely suffer. I wish there was a better system.

ninji15 · January 2016

AB34 said:
@ninji15 I apologize if I sounded defensive, I just wasn't sure if you were saying they were buying the alcohol with the EBT.
Also, @Lindsayleigh1989 I did not know that! I think that's ridiculous.

I'm not saying people don't abuse it, just that not everyone does. I kind of think drug use should be monitored for those receiving gov. assistance, but I know a lot of children would likely suffer. I wish there was a better system.

I can agree with that 100%. A better way would be awesome.

juliagulia38 · January 2016

Nerdchild said:
FFFC: I like to be all open-minded and say that I will love my kid whatever their choices, but I have a few irrational mental sticking points that I know I will have to overcome to be a truly loving, understanding parent. (Edit to clarify, I feel like I would stop wanting to be around my adult child for these reasons, not making a blanket statement on anyone else and their status as a loving parent. These are my issues.)

As an agnostic, I will be fine with my child taking a more spiritual path than my own, unless they are a 6,000 year old Earth creationist. My child cannot eschew scientific fact for spiritual convenience to fit a book written 2,000 years ago by a bunch of crotchety old dudes. No. Also, if they use their religion as a stance to support homophobia/transphobia/racism, etc., also no, gtfo of my house.

As the first person in my family to get a graduate degree, if my child doesn't at least get their bachelors or a certification I will really, really struggle with it. I expect my child to excel in at least some form of academic pursuit, I don't care of they get their PhD in astrophysics, their BA in 20th century black literature, or their certification with mechanic's training. I expect them to find what they both like/are good at and make their future based on that.

Flame away.

Edit: words.

I agree but I'm on the opposite side of you. (Don't feel like getting into a debate about religion) I would be upset if my children did not get baptized and become Christians. Christianity is such a huge aspect of our lives, that I would be disappointed if they didn't believe in God. My sister and brother stent Christians and my parents are disappointed and wonder what they did wrong. I hope one day I won't have to deal with that. I also agree with you on the degree aspect. I'm still working on mine and DH got a mechanic certification and will go back for a bachelors later. I want my children to excel in something they love but it's hard without a degree or certificate.

Nerdchild · January 2016

@juliagulia38 I think it's completely normal to wonder how your child could potentially wind up feeling so differently on MAJOR life choices (like religion). It's almost like 'Okay, little alien child, who are you and what did the body snatchers do with my genetic information?!'

Also, I promise I won't argue religion. From an anthropological standpoint, religion and spirituality have a very real and beneficial impact on the people who practice it. I just don't have the ability to make it mesh with my thought process.

Edited to add that I know 'Christianity' is an extremely broad term covering a rainbow of beliefs. Plenty of Christians feel that evolution is not only real, but has a divine hand in it. 'Christian' is not at all synonymous with 'scientifically illiterate', but I know someone who personally believes that dinosaur bones were put in the ground by the devil to trick humans into not believing in god, and it just baffles me to hear her say it.

TiffRox81 · January 2016

@Nerdchild Yes. Yes. Yes on education. My husband and I have said the same! We plan to do everything in our power to help our child succeed!! I understand college isn't for everyone and if that's the outcome for our child, we'll accept that! I just want to be able to say we tried and the opportunities were made possible. Although I didn't always appreciate the early mornings and finals, I was so happy I followed through and got the degree. I'm no rocket scientist, but maybe our child can be!

thebigoaktree · January 2016

Lindsayleigh1989 said:
@thebigoaktree actually I was more interested in seeing and learning your information because I want to be informed and had only read what I shared and want to make an informed decision:

Ahh gotcha. https://www.cirp.org/pages/parents/FAQ/ That's what I used for myself. It is however a 100% choice done by what you think is right for you.

@Nerdchild I wish I had more direction from my parents the way you're going to give your kids. Going back to school being almost 30 has been one of the hardest things I've had to do for myself and wish that I had the hindsight when I was at least 20. My mom was going to do the same thing to my sister when she graduated telling her to take a year off. I dragged her to the community college I go to and now she's in the liberal arts to transfer program. 10 year difference between her and I and I have no problem taking on a mom roll when it comes to this stuff.

PinkLady2015 · January 2016

I'm taking all the drugs right now and I'm not about to feel guilty about it. I've had a shitty cold all week so it's Tylenol for headaches, Claritin or Benadryl for sneezing and cough syrup for this never ending bark I've got going on.
They are starting to do away with prescription drug classes in the medical field. My high risk OB doesn't even use or follow them in his practice. More power to you if you choose not to take any medication but I see no reason to be absolutely miserable.

Also, I work with abused women who are often 100% cut off from the finances when/if they decide to leave. This includes women (previously) in high income brackets... They leave the relationship with their designer hand bags and fancy phones and then have nothing. So the next time you see someone using food stamps carrying an iPhone and a coach bag, maybe check your ridiculous judgement and consider she just escaped a deadly relationship. Sheesh.

I consider circumcision to be a totally personal decision to be made by the parents and their doctor if they so choose. I wouldn't judge one way or another.

Lastly, I can't stand parades. They're the most boring things ever. Watching the Rose Parade and all I can think of is what a tremendous waste of resources and dent in the carbon footprint it causes.

Nerdchild · January 2016

@thebigoaktree Not to be a creepy internet weirdo, but I am so thrilled and proud of you that you are going back to school! I don't care if you are 20, 30, or 80, if the mood strikes you, go back and learn that thing you have always wanted to learn. The only thing I have consistently wanted to be throughout my late childhood and adulthood was 'a career student', I always want to be chasing something.

Also, I have an older sister just like you, and from the younger sister standpoint, she has always been my hero.

stillcozy · January 2016

@PinkLady2015 I also cannot stand parades they are so boring!
Eta: chubby fingers submitted too early

Nerdchild · January 2016

Can I just request the option of having a separate circumcision thread once most of us start to find out the sex's of our little ones (no judgement on Team Green, you guys do you and keep being awesome)?

I don't want to stir the pot, I just really want to hear both sides because it's an issue I have always been on the fence about. It was never something I thought about before getting pregnant, I just considered it a factor in the interesting and vast variety of penis types. I will obviously also be talking to my doctor about my options and his professional opinion when/if the time comes, and weighing heavily my husband's opinion (he does have a penis, after all), but I like to feel like a have a good understanding of both sides.

Edit to add: Can we please, please, please call the opposing sides 'Team Helmet' and 'Team Aardvark'?

thebigoaktree · January 2016

@Nerdchild I second the motion, I only mentioned it because of the rise of Instagram and fb posts I've been seeing recently. Words this morning are hard, I should have been less snooty and explained better.

Can I have another fccc and say that I'm in Montreal till Sunday because of trying to enjoy New Years and there is one of my husbands friends that is doing nothing but complain. He complains more than I do when I have a horrible period. So my fccc is men who bitch more than I do, you're annoying.

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