Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Today I cried because...
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
Autism mama!
https://tinyurl.com/znlh8om
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
Autism mama!
March 2016 Moms: January Siggy Challenge "Pregnancy Problems"
This:
https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/8-year-old-burn-victim-who-lost-family-in-fire-receives-hundreds-of-christmas-cards-w159424
Its the same story but with more things happening on my facebook feed but of course I can't access it through work. I pulled up my facebook on my phone,, read and bawled!
@KBENADUM congrats on your daughter, and prayers for her continued strength and growth!!
He also happened to be an organ donor and his gift saved a little boy's life this morning. Teared up when I heard that.
I live in reality- I knew pregnancy was more than gentle kicks from inside, an ability to excuse ridiculous eating whims, and beaming with pride as I rubbed my stomach and said- "I'm pregnant." The truth is out there, and I embraced it. My feet would swell and grow, morning sickness doesn't mean just the morning, my hair, nails, and skin would change- and not always for the better. I knew I was sacrificing my "normal" body forever to bring into the world a child- and I was okay with that- I wanted and want that.
But true reality hit with pregnancy- beyond the swelling and the red blotchy skin. For the past five months I have fought a battle of sickness. I had days where I couldn't get out of bed, yet was forced to, to puke what small sip of water I had in my stomach. I had a day where in front of 22 students one boy asked if I was still pregnant because "my bump isn't there anymore." I had weeks of people asking if I had felt my baby kick- and I hadn't, and I was scared. I had nurses searching for the sound of heart beats that they said they "just couldn't find." I had an expert if the field try to measure my little boy's heart and she passed me along to a new doctor because she "just couldn't get it." I have never worried so much in such a short time because reality is- pregnancy is fear!
Shadows prove the sunshine- and good days came. Thanksgiving week, I with my husband's hand on my belly felt our son move- lots. I had a doctor fight for me and get me a medicine pump that insures food stays with me- so the baby and I both are getting nutrients. I saw a new side of my rather tough exterior husband when he talks to my belly and searches for books and music that the baby will hear and learn from. I can have conversations with woman from generation to generation, and swap stories and questions on why sneezing becomes so difficult, and it makes me smile. Reality is- pregnancy is joy!
But the joy didn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth. At 11:15pm I walked through the door of my home after working all day and babysitting all night, both things I love, but in a pile of tear on my husband's shoulders I said "I don't want to be pregnant anymore." My pump was blaring loud and continuous beeps at me because a flange sensor was off, I had fresh bruises on my stomach from the meds which made touching my stomach with pride now a deep and shocking pain. I tried and failed eating a chicken sandwich and I was exhausted at the idea that in a few hours I had to wake up and teach students that question why my "feet look like they were stung by bees" and don't often fail to remind me that it will hurt when I deliver my child. In the moment I learned that the reality is-pregnancy is pain
My husband did exactly what he needed to do- he hugged me tight and let out the most honest and sincere laugh. I knew, he knew, this was just another day of being pregnant, not knowing what the next week or even 5 minutes would bring. He reminded me that "this too shall pass."
Being pregnant means you are always on a tightrope of hormonal highs and lows, fears and joys, pain and smiles. But the greatest reality is- pregnancy will indeed end, and that end brings the greatest reward in the world- being a mother! (or so I hear)
Then, when I tell dh about my sister and his parents, he goes "well they don't have to watch him if they don't want to, and your sister is getting on my nerves". Your nerves? Really? You work sunday morning, this will not affect you a bit. Grr, I only told him cause I wanted a hug and some sympathy.
Told sister that this is it though. I don't have the time or energy to deal with her anymore.
I cried when dh told me it would be fine, that he didn't know what else to tell me, but that he had to get ready for work.
One cat travels fine but the other is terrible.
She panted and cried and howled the whole time and I just couldn't deal with it today. I must of looked like a right fool driving along with my face streaming.
I just got a bag of twizzlers today as part of my secret santa present today. My dh got into them before he left for work. Left them wide open on the table. I'm laying down because I'm hurting.. I hear my car keys hit the floor. I catch my dog on the table, with his nose in my bag of twizzlers, and now i have 1/4 bag (big bag) left. DH knows the dog has been known to get on the table and eat open food. So let's leave an open bag of twizzlers - that were meant for ME- on the table for the dog to feast on.
Dog is in the kennel and I'm bawling because I never have anything for myself without having to share with someone else. The minute someone gives ME something everyone else gets Into it and I end up with nothing left.
And also a killer whale at Sea World San Antonio died.
Oh!! I'm such a sucker for whale and dolphin news. I cried because I saw the dolphin slaughter last week. Now I'll probably cry over Unna.
Today I cried because DH and I were talking about New Years and how we always cheer to the new year and say the best is yet to come...but now the best is coming. Super lame but it's getting pretty real.
ALSO there's a new commercial I think for insurance but the slogan is "one look can change your life" and it's people holding their new babies for the first time. I can't handle all of the emotions.