PinkSunglasses16 said:
So..... I have no desire to be a SAHM and have been ridiculed for my decision. Dh makes enough that i could do so, but i LOVE my job most days, i make pretty great money, but most of all its a small company that is family focused and allows for any time off at a moments notice with no complaints. I have had both men and women give me repulsed looks when i say i will be going back to work happily. (yes i will miss them) Comments have been said that "i should want to be home with them and care for them or we shouldn't of had children" Some people and there views on life blow my mind. With all this said to each there own.
Staying home is NOT for everyone...it amazes me that people can be such judgmental jerks about the decisions of others. I think I could stay home with my child for a year, maybe two tops, but beyond that, I'm not so sure. My cousin carefully saved up so that she has 6 months worth of pay when her first was born, and by 3 months was back to work. She hated being home. We are all so different in other ways, I'm not sure why people equate wanting to work and/or not wanting to be home with not loving your child. It's bizarre. YOU DO YOU, MAMA!
@charley15 I hope your DH gets that full time job! Sending good thoughts.
@pinksunglasses16 I am right there with you. I don't have any desire to be a SAHM but I can def understand and respect women who choose to do so. It's like the formula/breastfeeding debate. I think as long as your kids are happy and healthy then you are doing what is best for your family. DH is self employed and makes enough that I could stay at home but I don't think it would sustain the lifestyle we are used to and we would have to pay out the butt for health insurance since I carry our family. I worked hard in college, love my job, make good money and I work close to home (I live in a small town and good jobs are hard to come by because there isn't much. Most people commute 45 mins like I used to) and I am just not willing to give that up. I remember DH's sister when I had my DS just couldn't understand that I was going back to work and that my mom was going to be keeping him. Hello my mom is 55 and she still works. It just irritated me because she continued to stay at home even after both her kids were in school and then complained about how she had to sell crafts to feed the kids because her DH didn't make much.
AHH!! I feel like I can't keep up with this thread. If you miss one day there is an overload of posts; I've missed quite a few and I can't even try to keep up. I hope all the bumpies made it through safely and unharmed by the storms and flooding caused by Joaquin. Hope all the kiddies and sick bumpies are feeling better.
@flowerpower I don't partake in it, but to a certain extent it does bother me when other people do that around me. I can't stand the smell. I don't want the effects of second hand cigarette smoke, I definitely don't want the secondhand effects of that stuff. I'm the old fuddy duddy lady that yells at the teens in her neighborhood to not do that by her house or she'll call the cops. I loved my house because we have a walking trail behind our backyard and I hate it because when the park is "closed" kids think it's ok to try that back there. My neighbors all know I'm the one with the high beam spot light that will point them out, yell at them, and call the cops.
Re SAHM: I'm unofficially one starting this year? I'm also comfortable with our current financial state and I'm afraid to lose my financial freedom so I'm working part-time as a substitute and high school tutor. However, I've felt so sick so often that I haven't really subbed much and have mostly been home. When baby gets here I'll definitely be staying at home during the day and possibly only tutoring a few evenings a week. More because I'm afraid of restricting myself when baby expenses begin and I think I'll lose my sanity being home all day.
soxfan9968 We are usually really busy on the weekends and I hardly ever get on. I try to catch up some on monday but I usually skip a lot because there will be 100 + posts just on this thread.
You know you are pregnant when you use a sharpie and ten minutes later the smell is still lingering and making you almost throw up..
Anyone else have any PG moments they want to share?
@Parker16772 Sure! My coworker sits in the office next to me, but our walls are like paper. She is a...complainer. I like her, I really do, but you know how some people are just naturally negative? She is and it gets to me. Right now my hormones are making it impossible to filter my emotions. She started muttering to herself about some plane ticket that someone had booked (in business class...the NERVE) and I just got up and slammed my door. Whoops...
ETA that I realize this has nothing to do with smells, sorry. But still pregnancy related, nonetheless.
@Parker16772 Sure! My coworker sits in the office next to me, but our walls are like paper. She is a...complainer. I like her, I really do, but you know how some people are just naturally negative? She is and it gets to me. Right now my hormones are making it impossible to filter my emotions. She started muttering to herself about some plane ticket that someone had booked (in business class...the NERVE) and I just got up and slammed my door. Whoops...
ETA that I realize this has nothing to do with smells, sorry. But still pregnancy related, nonetheless.
YES! Constant complainers = one of my biggest pet peeves. Especially at work. Listen, we all have stressors at work and I really don't care to hear about yours all.day.every.day. when I have my own to worry about. My boss is awful with this.
I do realize I may seem hypocritical since I complain a bit on here, but I am mostly a positive person, I swear!
Re SAHM: I am going to cherish the fuck out of my 9 months maternity but I am pretty confident I will be more than happy to go back (until I realize I am taking home so little but hey ia getting a degree as well)
In other news I am still alive... feeling horrible... In a nest of blankets in bed... only leaving to run to the loo (both ends)... watching one born every minute and being creepily looked on by my guard dog
I guess regarding being a SAHM I have my choice. We currently are pretty comfortable on two salaries, but will be a little less comfortable on one. I'm not sure if I'm going to be the mom that absolutely loves staying at home or needs a work/life balance. I think I'll have to decided after my 12wks of maternity leave are up, but I honestly don't know the answer.
BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16). "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18). "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21). "Round 3 FIGHT!"
Being a SAHM definitely sucks sometimes but it fits my parenting style so I'll do it again until this baby is 2 or so
You know you're pregnant when you eat dinner (orange chicken, brown rice and veggies), and then within the next two hours also eat some leftover chili with crackers and then a pbj sandwich. Nom nom nom.
I'm in a mood today, and that board about what you hoped for/thought - REALLY bugs me. I read it and try to understand from the persons posting prespective, but I can't wrap my head around it. Maybe it's because at the beginning of this pregnancy they thought something was wrong with my baby and from that moment on I have just wanted a heathy baby. I hoped all the test would be negative. And thank goodness they all have been negative. So maybe my focus went away from what's between my baby's legs and praying that my baby is just a heathy baby.
RE SAHM: I decided to go back to work after DD and did not hesitate on that decision. I don't mind it at all because I actually really enjoy working and having that adult interaction. I am perfectly ok with DD growing up at a daycare despite multiple people telling me how horrible I was to send a 3 month old to DC. They basically thought that the germs would kill her because she was too young. Well... guess what? She survived and she is a perfectly healthy and happy 16 month old baby. She loves going to DC and mingles very well with kids her age and anything over and under. She knows how to share her toys and they give each other kisses when they get picked up. I like to have my financial freedom and keep up with our living style. People may call me selfish but I am as much of a mom as a SAHM. I wake up early to go to work and pick up my daughter on time. I go home and cook and play with her until bed time. It is very tiring sometimes but this is my choice so I'll suck it up. With the second baby, I am hoping to go part time at least for 6 months to a year after mat leave. I'll see how that discussion goes with my boss. I am very thankful that we are financially stable that will allow us to have that flexibility.
I also have a difficult time keeping myself up to date in this discussion. If I haven't logged on for a day, I'm way too lazy to go back and read 10 pages to catch up.
Helloooooo ladies!! @ACleanLife24 girl, I hope you feel better soon. I've missed your posts around here!! @charley15 I really hope your DH gets the job!! @flowerpower5838 I can't stand constant complainers, even more so recently! I deal with teens on a daily basis and there are days when a small handful of them bug the hell out of me with their 'woe is me' first world problems and I have to bite my lip to stop from saying what I really think! Hope you all are well today, mamas!!!
ETA is it bite my lip or tongue? Now I can't remember.....
So..... I have no desire to be a SAHM and have been ridiculed for my decision. Dh makes enough that i could do so, but i LOVE my job most days, i make pretty great money, but most of all its a small company that is family focused and allows for any time off at a moments notice with no complaints. I have had both men and women give me repulsed looks when i say i will be going back to work happily. (yes i will miss them) Comments have been said that "i should want to be home with them and care for them or we shouldn't of had children" Some people and there views on life blow my mind. With all this said to each there own.
People are dumb I never wanted to be a SAHM and I wasn't when my first son was born I was fortunate that my MIL wanted to watch our son but when he turned two we found out he had Apraxia. He had specialist that came to the home for that year but when he turned 3 I was pregnant with my second son and he had to start a special preschool to help him with his speech issues. He also had a private speech therapist who wanted to increase his sessions. So after I had my second son I gave up my career and I was the bread winner but we budgeted and made it work. I couponed to save money. I gave up my career since I'm the fighter in my family my husband love him to death but he doesn't argue with people and avoids conflict which is not something you can do with a child with special needs they need an advocate someone that will fight for what they need no matter what and by doing this my now 8 year old speaks perfectly and no one would ever know that he had a speech issue and couldn't really talk until he was 41/2 years old. So while it has been the hardest job ever and I never wanted to stay home and I set my career back years I did it for my kid who needed me at the time. Now I have a part time job that I love it doesn't pay much but it's more for my sanity and it allows me to get time away. I will keep my job when this baby is born I will just adjust my hours so I can be home during the day with the baby and drop off and pick up my kids from school but in the evening ms my husband will be with the kids so I can work. I do miss my full time job everyday I miss being a contributer to the family in a financial form but hopefully once this baby starts preschool I will get back to it.
But do what feels right to you don't let anyone make you feel bad about wanting to work instead of staying home.
I'm very lucky that here in Holland everybody has (obligated) health insurance (basic health care, which covers most, but also possibility for an upgrade). We pay a lot of tax for it, but still think it's a more people friendly solution than US healthcare. Also every woman who has a job gets 4 months paid maternity leave. I'm not going to be a sahm. Think i can get used to it, but also studied many years, and invested in personal (work) development. Think would miss it. So i'm going back parttime (24 hrs week), looping forward to that..
It's very comforting to see everyone's thoughts on work/staying home. I feel like it's a constant internal battle. My husband also makes enough that I don't have to work, but I actually really like my job. I work in a small satellite office so the work environment is good and flexible. I did go to NYC today to speak with my boss about my "dream" scenario (in quotes because once the baby comes I have absolutely zero clue about how I'll actually feel). But he was ridiculously receptive and it sounds like I'll be able to take six months leave (with six weeks paid-yay?!) and work from home two days a week once I go back. I was so anxious about having to have the discussion (and honestly find it unfair that women are put in this position to begin with...but I digress) but a relief to know they will work with me.
YES! Constant complainers = one of my biggest pet peeves. Especially at work. Listen, we all have stressors at work and I really don't care to hear about yours all.day.every.day. when I have my own to worry about. My boss is awful with this.
I do realize I may seem hypocritical since I complain a bit on here, but I am mostly a positive person, I swear!
@flowerpower5838 ^^^ THIS!! I complain about things but I cannot stand someone who complains about every little thing. It drives me insane. I feel like saying is there anything that doesn't make you react with total drama.
Also, I have been in the house for like 3 days so I went to the store and got a bunch of junk food. I needed a pick me up and something not healthy. As soon as I get there I have to use the bathroom (like right that second) so I had to rush and this is what I came out with. Haahaa it was actually funny and I am glad I am like 1 minute from the store.
I have lots of mommy guilt over not being able to stay home with DS. I'm very glad to be able to stay home with this LO (two babies in daycare would be my entire paycheck), but I'll always have such regrets over my first little one. I loved my maternity leave (four months) and having this whole last summer with DS.
I've been at work all day, like a normal person who works, but I have been in a mood all day. I've been so easily irritated all day long. And when my boss came over to sign for my break meal, and saw I was having a cookie with it, was all like "are you sure you should be eating that? You're already filling out that maternity shirt pretty well!" I wanted to punch the wall.
On top of that, for the first time today I sneezed and peed a little. And now I'm just really praying that this baby hasn't taken that away from me yet. Not yet. Its too early.
Oh ladies, I'm so relieved that tomorrow is Friday. And that my appointment is Monday. Fingers crossed for good news and a definite baby gender!
I'm really craving some yummy chocolate pudding and vanilla pudding but not mixed together. too tired to go to store and DH is coaching until late tonight. first world pregnancy problems...
@2goofykids punch the wall?? Punch your boss! (Not that I'm condoning violence but ffs mind your own business!!) @kynbar5 said she'll be back bumping this weekend! I am getting so easily irritated today. TGIF tomorrow. Eurgh I'm even annoying myself.
Re SAHM conversation: I'm planning on staying at home for at least a year, that's important for both me and my husband. But after that I'm hoping to work part time (maybe teaching at a Jr. College where I can just do one or two classes per semester) I think I'd go crazy if I didn't have anything to do! Not to mention these degrees.. But Im definitely not interested in working full time.
i love teaching but I wish I could stay home for the first 2 years with my lo's. It is just not possible while we are repaying 1300$/ month in student loans. I make my peace with it in that I stay home in the summers with ds and am happy that I can pick ds up at 4 ans have the rest of the evening together.
As a side rant, we have the worst hr department (they are miserable people). I just submitted my letter for my pregnancy yesterday and all I got back was an email that just said "you can take 12 weeks off, but just know you have very few sick days to use." Thanks like I didn't know that already. We literally get no paid time except for using our sick days and since I had so many complications with ds, I am still only at 25 days and ds was born 2.5 years ago. I don't know why but the email just made me so sad and angry. Praying that dh gets a raise this winter to help us get by, since I am the primary bread winner,( there are rumors of one) and pinching every penny in the meantime
@2goofykids I HATE your boss. She sounds horrible. I wish I could come there and trip her or something. Ugh. Totally with you on the sneeze peeing. Totally ruined my morning yesterday.
Last night of room service and what do I order? An omlette. I feel lame but nothing sounds good. Plus I really don't want to have a $45 steak on record
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
So..... I have no desire to be a SAHM and have been ridiculed for my decision. Dh makes enough that i could do so, but i LOVE my job most days, i make pretty great money, but most of all its a small company that is family focused and allows for any time off at a moments notice with no complaints. I have had both men and women give me repulsed looks when i say i will be going back to work happily. (yes i will miss them) Comments have been said that "i should want to be home with them and care for them or we shouldn't of had children" Some people and there views on life blow my mind. With all this said to each there own.
I agree! I have always wanted to be a working mom... I know it's not going to be easy leaving my little one when the time comes but teaching is part of who I am. I can't cut that part out of myself and still be the same person.
Last night of room service and what do I order? An omlette. I feel lame but nothing sounds good. Plus I really don't want to have a $45 steak on record
I have never been an omlette person... I've tried... It just doesn't work. And about panty liners... It's been on my list of things to stock up on for a while. I really need to carry through with that cuz I have a feeling I will be soaking those puppies up pretty soon. I sneeze way too often.
So..... I have no desire to be a SAHM and have been ridiculed for my decision. Dh makes enough that i could do so, but i LOVE my job most days, i make pretty great money, but most of all its a small company that is family focused and allows for any time off at a moments notice with no complaints. I have had both men and women give me repulsed looks when i say i will be going back to work happily. (yes i will miss them) Comments have been said that "i should want to be home with them and care for them or we shouldn't of had children" Some people and there views on life blow my mind. With all this said to each there own.
I agree! I have always wanted to be a working mom... I know it's not going to be easy leaving my little one when the time comes but teaching is part of who I am. I can't cut that part out of myself and still be the same person.
Edited to add: SAHM are amazing too.. Not taking away from those who choose the route...just not for me.
Yeah... Um....sorry for the dumb quote my own quote post... Pregnancy brain has been at an all time worst today... Left my students' lunch cards in the fridge, lost my keys somewhere hopefully in my classroom and DH had to rescue me with the spare to my car, and then quoted my own post when I was trying to edit it..... And half of what I type makes no sense even after I proof read it like 5 times...
Yeah... Um....sorry for the dumb quote my own quote post... Pregnancy brain has been at an all time worst today... Left my students' lunch cards in the fridge, lost my keys somewhere hopefully in my classroom and DH had to rescue me with the spare to my car, and then quoted my own post when I was trying to edit it..... And half of what I type makes no sense even after I proof read it like 5 times...
Jeez quit quoting yourself already
DS1 - 9/21/11
DS2 - 7/4/14
DS3 - 2/21/16 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Moring all you beautiful ladies! Today is FRIDAY!!! Today is going to be a GREAT DAY!!!
Kinda sad I'm hoping this weekend flies right by...but its for a good cause. I want Monday here NOW!!! I'm so excited about Monday I can't control myself!
\:D/
February Siggy Challenge- Post pregnancy indulgences
Re: *** The Official Random Thread of All Random Threads for March 2016 ***
Staying home is NOT for everyone...it amazes me that people can be such judgmental jerks about the decisions of others. I think I could stay home with my child for a year, maybe two tops, but beyond that, I'm not so sure. My cousin carefully saved up so that she has 6 months worth of pay when her first was born, and by 3 months was back to work. She hated being home. We are all so different in other ways, I'm not sure why people equate wanting to work and/or not wanting to be home with not loving your child. It's bizarre. YOU DO YOU, MAMA!
YES! Constant complainers = one of my biggest pet peeves. Especially at work. Listen, we all have stressors at work and I really don't care to hear about yours all.day.every.day. when I have my own to worry about. My boss is awful with this.
I do realize I may seem hypocritical since I complain a bit on here, but I am mostly a positive person, I swear!
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
In other news I am still alive... feeling horrible... In a nest of blankets in bed... only leaving to run to the loo (both ends)... watching one born every minute and being creepily looked on by my guard dog
I guess regarding being a SAHM I have my choice. We currently are pretty comfortable on two salaries, but will be a little less comfortable on one. I'm not sure if I'm going to be the mom that absolutely loves staying at home or needs a work/life balance. I think I'll have to decided after my 12wks of maternity leave are up, but I honestly don't know the answer.
DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16). "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18). "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21). "Round 3 FIGHT!"
You know you're pregnant when you eat dinner (orange chicken, brown rice and veggies), and then within the next two hours also eat some leftover chili with crackers and then a pbj sandwich. Nom nom nom.
*BFP #1- 11/12/12, m/c 11/16/12 @ 6 weeks
*BFP #2- 1/23/13 EDD 10/4/13
*Emma Rose: 10/8/13
*BFP #3- EDD 03/9/16
March '16 December Siggy Challenge- Favorite Christmas Movie/Quote
Maybe it's because at the beginning of this pregnancy they thought something was wrong with my baby and from that moment on I have just wanted a heathy baby. I hoped all the test would be negative. And thank goodness they all have been negative. So maybe my focus went away from what's between my baby's legs and praying that my baby is just a heathy baby.
@ACleanLife24 girl, I hope you feel better soon. I've missed your posts around here!!
@charley15 I really hope your DH gets the job!!
@flowerpower5838 I can't stand constant complainers, even more so recently! I deal with teens on a daily basis and there are days when a small handful of them bug the hell out of me with their 'woe is me' first world problems and I have to bite my lip to stop from saying what I really think!
Hope you all are well today, mamas!!!
ETA is it bite my lip or tongue? Now I can't remember.....
But do what feels right to you don't let anyone make you feel bad about wanting to work instead of staying home.
Edited because it cut off part of what I wrote.
Also every woman who has a job gets 4 months paid maternity leave.
I'm not going to be a sahm. Think i can get used to it, but also studied many years, and invested in personal (work) development. Think would miss it. So i'm going back parttime (24 hrs week), looping forward to that..
YES! Constant complainers = one of my biggest pet peeves. Especially at work. Listen, we all have stressors at work and I really don't care to hear about yours all.day.every.day. when I have my own to worry about. My boss is awful with this.
I do realize I may seem hypocritical since I complain a bit on here, but I am mostly a positive person, I swear!
@flowerpower5838^^^ THIS!! I complain about things but I cannot stand someone who complains about every little thing. It drives me insane. I feel like saying is there anything that doesn't make you react with total drama.
Also, I have been in the house for like 3 days so I went to the store and got a bunch of junk food. I needed a pick me up and something not healthy. As soon as I get there I have to use the bathroom (like right that second) so I had to rush and this is what I came out with. Haahaa it was actually funny and I am glad I am like 1 minute from the store.
Edited to add tag
I've been at work all day, like a normal person who works, but I have been in a mood all day. I've been so easily irritated all day long. And when my boss came over to sign for my break meal, and saw I was having a cookie with it, was all like "are you sure you should be eating that? You're already filling out that maternity shirt pretty well!" I wanted to punch the wall.
On top of that, for the first time today I sneezed and peed a little. And now I'm just really praying that this baby hasn't taken that away from me yet. Not yet. Its too early.
Oh ladies, I'm so relieved that tomorrow is Friday. And that my appointment is Monday. Fingers crossed for good news and a definite baby gender!
Edited because I can't spell today and its hard.
@ACleanLife24 feel better soon!
I'm really craving some yummy chocolate pudding and vanilla pudding but not mixed together.
On the lamb I hear... JK she'll be back tomorrow I think. Spotty reception at a relative's
@kynbar5 said she'll be back bumping this weekend!
I am getting so easily irritated today. TGIF tomorrow. Eurgh I'm even annoying myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
As a side rant, we have the worst hr department (they are miserable people). I just submitted my letter for my pregnancy yesterday and all I got back was an email that just said "you can take 12 weeks off, but just know you have very few sick days to use." Thanks like I didn't know that already. We literally get no paid time except for using our sick days and since I had so many complications with ds, I am still only at 25 days and ds was born 2.5 years ago. I don't know why but the email just made me so sad and angry. Praying that dh gets a raise this winter to help us get by, since I am the primary bread winner,( there are rumors of one) and pinching every penny in the meantime
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our family of 5 is complete!! Love our boys!
Moring all you beautiful ladies! Today is FRIDAY!!! Today is going to be a GREAT DAY!!!
Kinda sad I'm hoping this weekend flies right by...but its for a good cause. I want Monday here NOW!!! I'm so excited about Monday I can't control myself!
\:D/