Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Feeding your LO...tips, concerns, complaints, and accomplishments! 8/3-8/9
And don't tell me her behavior is normal and she just needs time to grow out of it. My pediatrician doesn't think so and she has a medical degree and did her residency at Children's Mercy.
ETA I have enough mom guilt that telling me to be strong and I'm all she has makes me feel worse. I know that. DH and the grandparents are happy to give me a break for an hour and then can't wait to give her back.
https://www.popsugar.com/moms/How-Breastfeeding-Can-Make-You-Gain-Weight-37837572
Hugs, @sammyk. We also have reflux and started Zantac Tuesday. I also cut dairy. My LO doesn't sound quite as bad as yours, but I feel you. It stinks. I'm told it gets better? I hope that's true.
@sammy k I totally feel for you. Sounds like you're at your wits end doing the best you can. So there's this nursing tea I drink that helps with production and it claims to alleviate gas and tummy problems in both mom and baby. It may be a long shot but could be worth trying? I've only seen how it works with producing more milk but my LO doesn't have tummy troubles so I'm not sure how it works in that department. It's called Herb Lore Nursing Tea and I got a 5oz bag for $16 off Amazon. They also have a tincture which is more concentrated but kinda expensive.
ETA - I was not discounting your ped I simply meant this will pass eventually no matter what
Is she 100% healed already? If not, maybe once she is she'll be more comfortable? Hope so... Keeping her in my thoughts
I really hope this continues. It's made me enjoy breastfeeding so much more than I had been!
my LO is breastfed with the occasional bottle of pumped milk once every week or two, ive noticed lately one day my boobs will be full and engorged then the next day they'll be squishy and not full feeling at all. and i dont know whats causing it, they were the same day to day last week. but i have no idea what theyre doing now, on the squishy days LO will not nap for a long period at all and on the full days he will get a good 2 hour nap in at some point. but idk what to do about it. i dont think my diet has changed any, and my LO doesnt use me as a pacifier.
Did my make up and even had time to blow dry my hair!
I go back to work in about a month and don't plan on pumping at work. A few people, including my OB and pedi suggested pumping in the morning and night to still be able to give LO breast milk without the hassle of pumping throughout the day.
That all sounds good, in theory. I thought I would try to reduce pumps now to prepare for cutting down to only 2 pumps, thinking it would make life easier. I usually pump every 4 hours so I stretched it to 6. Initially my supply was great. I pumped enough to give LO 2 bottles and never really had to supplement, but then my supply dropped terribly. From 8 oz to 2 oz, tops. I thought I was ready to wean off the pump, but all of these hormones had me immediately change my mind and regret my choice. The thought of not doing it made me feel like less of a mom, from some crazy reason, although I know it's absurd. I actually cried.
Now I'm sitting here, power pumping, drinking gallons of water, and my lactation smoothie praying that I haven't totally messed everything up. How will pumping 2 times a day ever work?
The joy of motherhood.
Another big win for me was that she only had 1 1/2 oz of formula right before bed yesterday so my supply is finally up to where it should be! All my lactation smoothies, extra water and nut consumption have been working. Yay!!
I secretly like giving her formula before bed. She sleeps for longer periods of time. I hold no guilt over that at all.
@dancegurl1118 and @Sammy K I'm so sorry for the stresses you're going through. Sounds beyond difficult, and I admire the perseverance you both have in finding solutions for your babies. Sammy K, especially, I don't think your "good mama" responses are gone at all. If so, you would have given up. It sounds like you were dealt a super difficult hand, and have a tough road. I will be thinking of you and hoping you find a solution that brings LO comfort and you, peace. Sending big creepy Internet hugs
First, thank you for all of the support. I do really appreciate it. And @HayesRN13 I apologize. I over reacted, I was just in a really bad mindset.
So on the reflux side, we're still waiting for the Prilosec to kick in. It takes 3-4 days and we're on day 4. On the GI end, I think the elimination diet is making a difference. DH has noticed a huge difference too, and said she even pooped this morning without screaming. She still had painful gas last night, so I'm going to give it another day or 2 before reintroducing foods. We're getting more probiotics, too. We had stopped for a while.
With all of this change, she has been much happier. Yesterday she started "talking" and we hadn't really had any non-angry sounds from her. She's smiling and playing more, too. She's been sleeping 4-5 hours for the first stretch at night, which is a big improvement. I still wish it were a bit longer or that the second and third feedings were a little longer, but it's improvement and I'll take it.
This diet is so boring I've been dreaming about food and it's only been 4 days! The up side is I have lost weight, my supply is good and I've learned I really like lamb. The down side is I miss food. And coffee.
Anyone else have a LO who is working on finding his or her hands, and keeps trying to suck on their fists during feeding sessions? Mine is and this is causing a lot of frustration during otherwise enjoyable mealtimes.
Just a footnote, there must not be a generic version of Prilosec because 1 month cost $40 with insurance and Zantac was $7.