im pretty sure i made a huge mistake last night, i think i only fed LO from one side twice over night last night by accident. for some reason the boob i didnt use wasnt engorged or over full at all and now today i seem to be down a feeds worth of milk. like, both boobs are flat and pancakey while this kid is still hungry and will not sleep. ugh. i hope if i did lower my supply it will return fast -_-
@dancegurl1118 so sorry lo is not a happy camper right now, but I think it was a good decision. My brother had his tongue tie fixed at age 12. He asked my mom why he couldn't lick ice cream cones like other people, and then my parents also thought about kissing when he was older so they took him to have it done. He remembers it, we all remember it. It was very painful for him and took a while to heal. Your lo won't remember and she'll be able to lick cones like the other kids. hope she feels better soon and glad you found a bottle that works
@dancegurl1118 got me thinking and now I'm curious. How can I tell if my LO has a lip tie? I assumed that it was something that would be found when he was born and I would he told, but what if they don't do that? What if I have to bring it up for them to bother to look? Google images is not helping very much. Too much input. On my LO I can see a small attachment to his gums, and there is a bump on the bottom of the gums below the attachment. It reminds me of what my sister had to get corrected when she was 10 or so and it was so painful for her. So now I'm wondering if he has a lip tie, and if so, if this could be one of the reasons we have not been able to succeed at breastfeeding. Falling asleep on the breast is a 'symptom' of a tie, I just read. So is nipples that are flattened by nursing, and he does that, too. When he is done it looks like they have been in one of those car crusher things. I'm going to be real frustrated if this has been our problem and I didn't know.
@dancegurl1118 got me thinking and now I'm curious. How can I tell if my LO has a lip tie? I assumed that it was something that would be found when he was born and I would he told, but what if they don't do that? What if I have to bring it up for them to bother to look? Google images is not helping very much. Too much input. On my LO I can see a small attachment to his gums, and there is a bump on the bottom of the gums below the attachment. It reminds me of what my sister had to get corrected when she was 10 or so and it was so painful for her. So now I'm wondering if he has a lip tie, and if so, if this could be one of the reasons we have not been able to succeed at breastfeeding. Falling asleep on the breast is a 'symptom' of a tie, I just read. So is nipples that are flattened by nursing, and he does that, too. When he is done it looks like they have been in one of those car crusher things. I'm going to be real frustrated if this has been our problem and I didn't know.
the way that i noticed my LOs lip tie is the clicking noise he makes when eating and the latch slippage that accompanies it. as well as when my LO is on the breast his top lip is tucked in. has only been fishy lipped a couple times while feeding.
@mellymar this is a good picture about tongue and lip ties. I joined a tongue tie group on face book with like 30k members and there is such a great wealth of information on there. Blew my mind.
@dancegurl1118 thanks for the chart. I'll have to look at him closer. He definitely does have a tether (not as bad as in that pic tho) and he does usually have his upper lip rolled in. Hmmm. So then, do I ask the ped? I'm in such a small area that I'm worried they won't know much about it.
My LO has an upper lip tie and my pedi says they typically don't cut them (like they do with tongue tie, which we DID get cut on LO). I thought that was weird. However we are formula feeding so perhaps that's why she didn't want to to bother.
Our oral surgeon who clipped her posterior tongue tie says he doesn't clip the upper lip tie, it should grow and stretch as they grow, but other oral surgeons will laser it. I know people who have had it done and it improved bfing. We were torn, but didn't get it done. She doesn't have the greatest latch but I can usually get her lip fished out. And she's eating and gaining weight on track.
Many practioners even in big areas don't believe in upper lip ties or posterior tongue ties. You'd be surprised, even the blatant anterior (front) tongue tie many doctors say "eh if they're eating fine it's ok" not realizing the magnitude of problems it can cause, and not only for breastfeeding. The Facebook group has a list of preferred providers by state that are knowledgeable of all ties, I went to one in my state after going to a non-preferred provider who didn't know much. Just be aware that insurance usually won't cover it unless they are failure to thrive (don't get me started on this one). We paid $650 out of pocket.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
Our midwife and pediatrician both missed the tongue and lip tie, craziness. A lactation consultant ... And only the good ones .. seem to be up on catching these.
Edit to say that the dentist we went too has people drive up to six hours every week to see them about this since it's hard to find good providers... More craziness.
Many practioners even in big areas don't believe in upper lip ties or posterior tongue ties. You'd be surprised, even the blatant anterior (front) tongue tie many doctors say "eh if they're eating fine it's ok" not realizing the magnitude of problems it can cause, and not only for breastfeeding. The Facebook group has a list of preferred providers by state that are knowledgeable of all ties, I went to one in my state after going to a non-preferred provider who didn't know much. Just be aware that insurance usually won't cover it unless they are failure to thrive (don't get me started on this one). We paid $650 out of pocket.
Our LO has a tongue tie. It was found by the LC at the hospital. Our pedi said since it wasn't affecting his eating, not to worry. This is freaking me out though!
^^ wow. Thanks for the info guys. I guess I'll start with the ped, supposedly the lady ped (the one I haven't seen yet but am seeing on the 31st) is LC certified as well, so maybe she will be a source of help. If not then I will ask my local bf support fb group and go from there. I guess I just figured they would see that and tell me, not me looking at baby's mouth for almost 2 months and just thinking that tether was normal until today when I began to ponder it in relation to my sister all that time ago. :-??
Just FYI: physicians don't perform routine clips on tongue/lip ties unless it's truly interfering with BF because there's zero good data to support the procedure otherwise. There is a grading system for ties and decisions are made by severity and feeding issues. Ties that are clipped unnecessarily and are too loose are actually worse for speech development. You can find any number of dentists who are willing to do the procedure because it's easy and reimbursed. I would trust your pediatricians -- they had a lot more training than LC or dentists, and can see the whole picture.
@charliepepper yeah...no. Our BF was severely disturbed due to her ties. And my pediatrician blew me off. From the first latch immediately after the procedure her mouth was completely different and she was able to open wide which she never was before. I just read an article on how research shows it does not help BF and basically is all in mom's heads but...it has helped our breastfeeding more that anything and I was ready to stop.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
@charliepepper thank you! Makes me feel better. Our LO is able to open & get his tongue out. Even the LC said it wasn't severe.
@dancegurl1118 my friend wasn't able to BF her oldest because of tongue tie. She BF her second just fine. She said no one caught her oldest sons and she wishes they would have.
Yeah, our ped straight up knows and has said that breastfeeding 'wears him out' and 'he works so hard he gets tired' and that is why LO falls asleep on the boob. Especially now that he has gained weight and gotten much stronger, there should really be no reason for him to 'work so hard he gets tired' when bfing. In this way, if he does have a tie, it has impacted our breastfeeding, with the ped admitting that problems exist. I'm frustrated that when we were struggling to put weight on him and really trying to continue bfing that the possibility of a tie wasn't at least explored. The answer was just to supplement with formula. Which, it is what it is, and the most important thing is baby eats and thrives, but not being able to provide for him was very depressing for me, and again - the fact that a tie wasn't even explored as a cause annoys me. Maybe he doesn't have one, or its minimal. I'm not a Dr, so I dunno. But my ped didn't even bother to check.
ETA - especially since consistently falling asleep while nursing is considered a flag for a tie. Because the tie makes them 'work so hard they get tired'. Now that sounds familiar, huh?
Our LO has a upper lip tie that hasn't been clipped. The pedi said if he's feeding fine, it's nothing to worry about. I feel like it's pretty significant, but when I look at pictures it's definitely not as bad as I feel like it is. LO latches okay, except his top lip doesn't flame out and sometimes it's pretty difficult to get it to. My nips are doing alright though, and he's gaining weight and happy, so I am thinking it's going okay. He has another appointment on the 27th so we will find out then, I guess.
@dancegurl1118@hoodoll82@mellymar my LO has an upper lip tie that we are seeing an oral surgeon for. The problem with not getting it clipped now is that it can cause speech problems later, and a gap between the top front teeth. If it doesn't stretch as they get older, and it causes a speech problem, they have to clip it then. If they are older when they get a clipped it then requires them to be sedated, there could be more bleeding when it's done, and the healing time is longer. We are going to really push to get it clipped now. Like my lactation consultant said, a lot of doctors are only concerned about baby, but not mom. It could ruin the breast-feeding relationship, causing you to wean earlier. It sucks. But good luck everybody!
I did a dumb thing. I should have listened to my gut. DH didn't think changing my diet had any effect and the research agrees so I had cake after LO's baptism. Ok, it was 2 pieces. Since then, we've had 2 terrible nights due to her screaming every time she needs to fart, terrible reflux and generally being pissed off. Her stool turned greenish color with what looks like curdled milk in it.
At our 2 month appt today, I had a breakdown. I'm so tired. We were switched to Prevacid instead of Zantac and if that doesn't work I can choose between a colicky baby, switching to milk protein sensitive formula, or trying a total elimination diet. I'm not sure which is worse.
I have been in tears all morning. I can't f-ing feed my baby. I can't sleep. The only good thing was some validation that even EBF babies should be sleeping more than 2-3 hours at 2 months. She has coo'd exactly 3 times, never laughed and doesn't smile every day. She cried more trying to pass gas at 4 am than she did after shots. I can't even read to her because she just cries. We don't do much tummy time because she cries. I can't comfort her most of the time and I now just let her scream for 5-10 minutes or until she's exhausted enough to be rocked. I slept through 2 of her wakings last night, for crying out loud. What kind of mom does that? The monitor is right next to my head. We have 1 good day followed by 4 bad ones and I feel like a rotten mother.
Sorry for the vent. I can't admit any of this to my friends or family.
@Sammy K Feeding troubles are the worst. I totally feel you. Hang in there and remember because you care and you are trying to make things better, you are an AWESOME mom!
I did a dumb thing. I should have listened to my gut. DH didn't think changing my diet had any effect and the research agrees so I had cake after LO's baptism. Ok, it was 2 pieces. Since then, we've had 2 terrible nights due to her screaming every time she needs to fart, terrible reflux and generally being pissed off. Her stool turned greenish color with what looks like curdled milk in it.
At our 2 month appt today, I had a breakdown. I'm so tired. We were switched to Prevacid instead of Zantac and if that doesn't work I can choose between a colicky baby, switching to milk protein sensitive formula, or trying a total elimination diet. I'm not sure which is worse.
I have been in tears all morning. I can't f-ing feed my baby. I can't sleep. The only good thing was some validation that even EBF babies should be sleeping more than 2-3 hours at 2 months. She has coo'd exactly 3 times, never laughed and doesn't smile every day. She cried more trying to pass gas at 4 am than she did after shots. I can't even read to her because she just cries. We don't do much tummy time because she cries. I can't comfort her most of the time and I now just let her scream for 5-10 minutes or until she's exhausted enough to be rocked. I slept through 2 of her wakings last night, for crying out loud. What kind of mom does that? The monitor is right next to my head. We have 1 good day followed by 4 bad ones and I feel like a rotten mother.
Sorry for the vent. I can't admit any of this to my friends or family.
Don't ever feel bad about sharing. You need a safe space to talk about this, that's what these boards are for. You are a super mom. You may feel like a bad mom but you're not...you've been dealt a terribly crappy hand and you're doing all you can. I know that knowing it will pass doesn't make this moment any easier....but keep that chin up.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
My LO is almost two months and has only slept longer than three hours once. He's not colicy or fussy at all. He just doesn't sleep. I don't know if I should be worried. He sleeps flat in his own space and is swaddled and goes to sleep full and clean diapered. What am i missing?
I did a dumb thing. I should have listened to my gut. DH didn't think changing my diet had any effect and the research agrees so I had cake after LO's baptism. Ok, it was 2 pieces. Since then, we've had 2 terrible nights due to her screaming every time she needs to fart, terrible reflux and generally being pissed off. Her stool turned greenish color with what looks like curdled milk in it.
At our 2 month appt today, I had a breakdown. I'm so tired. We were switched to Prevacid instead of Zantac and if that doesn't work I can choose between a colicky baby, switching to milk protein sensitive formula, or trying a total elimination diet. I'm not sure which is worse.
I have been in tears all morning. I can't f-ing feed my baby. I can't sleep. The only good thing was some validation that even EBF babies should be sleeping more than 2-3 hours at 2 months. She has coo'd exactly 3 times, never laughed and doesn't smile every day. She cried more trying to pass gas at 4 am than she did after shots. I can't even read to her because she just cries. We don't do much tummy time because she cries. I can't comfort her most of the time and I now just let her scream for 5-10 minutes or until she's exhausted enough to be rocked. I slept through 2 of her wakings last night, for crying out loud. What kind of mom does that? The monitor is right next to my head. We have 1 good day followed by 4 bad ones and I feel like a rotten mother.
Sorry for the vent. I can't admit any of this to my friends or family.
Don't ever feel bad about sharing. You need a safe space to talk about this, that's what these boards are for. You are a super mom. You may feel like a bad mom but you're not...you've been dealt a terribly crappy hand and you're doing all you can. I know that knowing it will pass doesn't make this moment any easier....but keep that chin up.
@sammy k I'd highly recommend protein sensitive formula! We saw results within one feeding. We never had it as bad as you did but it may help.
We threw the kitchen sink at LO: new formula, Zantac and anti-colic bottles, and saw rapid improvement.
@sammy k you're doing all you can to help your baby. That makes you a great mother. I've heard that if babies get too much foremilk, and not enough hindmilk that that can result in green poops. Do you feed LO from both sides, or just one side at a time? If you feed from both sides, maybe try feeding from one to allow LO to get more hindmilk.
@sammy k you're doing all you can to help your baby. That makes you a great mother. I've heard that if babies get too much foremilk, and not enough hindmilk that that can result in green poops. Do you feed LO from both sides, or just one side at a time? If you feed from both sides, maybe try feeding from one to allow LO to get more hindmilk.
I'm producing enough she usually only eats from one side and I pump the other, except at night. She rarely will take the other side. And she made me into a liar. Her poop today was totally normal, other than the screaming. I kept thinking I hit her legs, but no. Gas or poop. And it's not fussing, it is purple faced screaming for 1-2 min beforehand. Then she falls asleep for 10 min and we repeat. I just can't bring myself to give her formula. I have 200 oz in the freezer and DS never had formula. And at $200+/ month it's not exactly cheap.
@sammy k just wanted to say you're doing a fantastic job. You've really been put thru the ringer and I think you're handling it as well as it can be handled. Don't beat yourself up.
@sammy k, this sounds like me a month ago, minus the reflux. You are a great mother, and please know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It will get easier. LO will be 3 months on Friday, and we are now to the point where we have 4 good days, and 1 not so good day. (Sleep will hopefully come soon!).
Do you have family or friends nearby that could come give you a break? I've found that taking a few hours to take a nap, go for a manicure, or even go grocery shopping gives me a whole new attitude.
Hang in there, mama. You are doing an amazing job.
Thanks everyone. I am just beyond frustrated. DS was so completely different, I feel like a FTM all over again. I go back to work in 3 weeks and I can't function with this little sleep or this much stress (I'm a bridge engineer, kinda important I'm on the ball). Ugh. This will pass.
ETA I'm so hungry. Got LO to sleep on me and I'm afraid to move.
@Sammy K With my dairy intolerant kid I breastfed most of the day but he got dairy free formula for his bedtime bottle so at least he started out the night without dairy.
Another day, another plugged duct. Feeling especially frustrated because I thought taking the lecithin solved my problems. Boo. They seem to be cyclical, every 2 weeks I get a bout of them (which then take almost a week to clear which leaves me a week of saying HEY WE GOT THIS! NO PAIN! WAHOO!)
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
Re: Feeding your LO...tips, concerns, complaints, and accomplishments! 8/3-8/9
Edited because autocomplete fail
So now I'm wondering if he has a lip tie, and if so, if this could be one of the reasons we have not been able to succeed at breastfeeding. Falling asleep on the breast is a 'symptom' of a tie, I just read. So is nipples that are flattened by nursing, and he does that, too. When he is done it looks like they have been in one of those car crusher things.
I'm going to be real frustrated if this has been our problem and I didn't know.
Edit to say that the dentist we went too has people drive up to six hours every week to see them about this since it's hard to find good providers... More craziness.
I guess I just figured they would see that and tell me, not me looking at baby's mouth for almost 2 months and just thinking that tether was normal until today when I began to ponder it in relation to my sister all that time ago. :-??
@dancegurl1118 my friend wasn't able to BF her oldest because of tongue tie. She BF her second just fine. She said no one caught her oldest sons and she wishes they would have.
ETA - especially since consistently falling asleep while nursing is considered a flag for a tie. Because the tie makes them 'work so hard they get tired'. Now that sounds familiar, huh?
At our 2 month appt today, I had a breakdown. I'm so tired. We were switched to Prevacid instead of Zantac and if that doesn't work I can choose between a colicky baby, switching to milk protein sensitive formula, or trying a total elimination diet. I'm not sure which is worse.
I have been in tears all morning. I can't f-ing feed my baby. I can't sleep. The only good thing was some validation that even EBF babies should be sleeping more than 2-3 hours at 2 months. She has coo'd exactly 3 times, never laughed and doesn't smile every day. She cried more trying to pass gas at 4 am than she did after shots. I can't even read to her because she just cries. We don't do much tummy time because she cries. I can't comfort her most of the time and I now just let her scream for 5-10 minutes or until she's exhausted enough to be rocked. I slept through 2 of her wakings last night, for crying out loud. What kind of mom does that? The monitor is right next to my head. We have 1 good day followed by 4 bad ones and I feel like a rotten mother.
Sorry for the vent. I can't admit any of this to my friends or family.
My LO is almost two months and has only slept longer than three hours once. He's not colicy or fussy at all. He just doesn't sleep. I don't know if I should be worried. He sleeps flat in his own space and is swaddled and goes to sleep full and clean diapered. What am i missing?
We threw the kitchen sink at LO: new formula, Zantac and anti-colic bottles, and saw rapid improvement.
Do you have family or friends nearby that could come give you a break? I've found that taking a few hours to take a nap, go for a manicure, or even go grocery shopping gives me a whole new attitude.
Hang in there, mama. You are doing an amazing job.
ETA I'm so hungry. Got LO to sleep on me and I'm afraid to move.