Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Nighttime Sucks (But it gets better!) - A support thread
Should I try feeding her more?
@JessHeppell I had crazy pain one week PP too. Turns out I did have an infection. It hurt every time I nursed while sitting. Especially when I shifted to get comfortable or scooted off the couch. Hope you don't have one too, but if you do, antibiotics helped within hours of taking them.
And my mom came in and was talking to me, which I appreciated at first, but then kept hearing the same thing over and over, which is the same stuff I have been hearing over and since she got here. When its 230am and the last sleep I got was a nap at 8am, I do not want to hear - again - the same old same old stuff that requires me to reassure her.
She finally goes to bed, LO finally falls asleep after the 3am boob and bottle session. I move him to the pack n play, and he wakes up. Ugh. Pick him back up to soothe him and he falls right back asleep again in my arms.
I slept from 330am to 630am with LO propped against my arm and chest. Hooray... 3 hours :-S
And, needless to say, next time I will put us all to bed after the 9am feeding, movie or no movie.
Sorry, it just drives me crazy when society drives fear into new mothers with all these books and theories and such. It's a baby. It's your baby.
But not a fan of it being suggested that it doesn't bother "my heart" when my baby cries just because I let her go a few minutes to see if she will settle.
These first few weeks aren't all sparkles and unicorns...
(Meanwhile I've been sitting with LO in my arms for the last 45 minutes since she's fussy today and wants mommy, so maybe I'm just feeling sensitive about insinuations about how much I love my daughter).
Thank you!
I'm not interested in dwelling on it, except to say we 100% agree that there's no way it is "supposed" to be done and every mom should feel ok to see what works for her and LO, as long as it's safe.
OP sorry if this sidetracked an answer to your initial question: I know you wanted advice and I hope between all of our perspectives, you feel like you have some tools or ideas and know that your instincts will lead you to the right answer for you!
(Also, there's no winning when it comes to opinions on parenting. It can only end in guilt or hurt feelings!)
@dancegurl1118 for the EASY method, how do you cue LO it's time for a nap? my dude stays up 2+ hours then gets overtired. today I worked hard to get him to sleep after an hour of wake time. his witching hours weren't nearly as bad, so I'd like to keep trying...but I don't see any concrete advice on getting a baby to sleep when he's tired during the day. bedtime I understand. TIA
Just woke for the 1:00 feed and can't decide where he should sleep for the rest of tonight - on me or in the bassinet. Ugh. No more side sleeping in the bassinet til he can roll himself over. This is not good for my nerves.
And stupid DH told me a terrible news story about an infant because it kept him up all last night and he wanted to get it off his chest. For f's sake, dude, why put that burden on ME?! There is a reason I don't click on that crap!!!!
Ugh. Just ugh. Someone build me a cloud for my boy to sleep on. I would cry if I weren't so tired and hard wired to be logical vs hysterical.
not looking forward to it.. how do they check for infection anyways?
@JessHeppell they just did the urine sample and an exam. I was also allergic to my pads, so if you're feeling extra irritated, maybe that's your problem too? I switched to natural pads (ugh). Those and the antibiotics got me back on track!
It made me so sad
Nighttime sucks.