Nighttime Sucks (But it gets better!) - A support thread

rolson8947 · July 2015

LO went to sleep at 11 and then I could hear her moving around and grunting so I went downstairs to warm a bottle (tonight I was going to be ready with that bottle before she woke up so she wouldn't go psycho when she woke up and it wasn't ready). I come back upstairs and she is asleep. About 30 minutes go by and I'm just sitting here waiting and I thought "screw it, I'm waking you up because formula is expensive and I'm not letting it waste"...so I woke her (dumb, I know). I changed her diaper and fed her the 4 ounce bottle and now the little piglet is asleep on my chest. Now if I can just let her get good and asleep and successfully lay her back down then I'll be good to go. Please sleep a few more hours babyyyyy :!!

beckyk9109 · July 2015

rolson8947 said:
LO went to sleep at 11 and then I could hear her moving around and grunting so I went downstairs to warm a bottle (tonight I was going to be ready with that bottle before she woke up so she wouldn't go psycho when she woke up and it wasn't ready). I come back upstairs and she is asleep. About 30 minutes go by and I'm just sitting here waiting and I thought "screw it, I'm waking you up because formula is expensive and I'm not letting it waste"...so I woke her (dumb, I know). I changed her diaper and fed her the 4 ounce bottle and now the little piglet is asleep on my chest. Now if I can just let her get good and asleep and successfully lay her back down then I'll be good to go. Please sleep a few more hours babyyyyy :!!

My biggesttttt peeve is when they're crabby for food and then fall asleep when I return with the bottle! Happens so often it's ridiculous

dancegurl1118 · July 2015

I don't want to get ahead of myself but I think ditching the swaddle pod was key. She slept for a 5.5 hour and 3 hour stretch, and no grunting and kicking. Wahoo.

momtobe613 · July 2015

LO was up until 230 finally went to sleep and up again at 5 to eat. Still up. I am exhausted.

katyqv · July 2015

LO was doing so well the past couple nights with 3 hour stretches. Last night she went two 1.5 hours stretches and has been up since 4:30 grunting and kicking on my chest. She hits 5 weeks on Saturday and she's yet to sleep longer than a 3 hour stretch. She eats 2-3 oz every 1.5-3 hours.

Should I try feeding her more?

YouAreMySunshine15 · July 2015

Last night started out rough. One of those nights that had me considering the switch to formula so DH can help feed the baby at night. We usually start winding down for bed at 9. Last night she just wouldn't fall sleep and only wanted to nurse even though she kept spitting it back up. Daytime had also been a feeding frenzy, and she barely napped! Wouldn't sleep unless I was holding her. Finally fell asleep at midnight. Then.. Something magical happened. She slept FIVE HOURS. First time. She's 4 weeks old. Do you think I should have woken her up to eat? I was nervous about it. But it really was glorious and I needed that sleep so bad!

@JessHeppell I had crazy pain one week PP too. Turns out I did have an infection. It hurt every time I nursed while sitting. Especially when I shifted to get comfortable or scooted off the couch. Hope you don't have one too, but if you do, antibiotics helped within hours of taking them.

SammeMotley · July 2015

I actually woke up to pump last night. Once. The second alarm I said screw it. Ugh!! So engorged. DH had trouble getting DD back to sleep last night. He woke me up and asked me to nurse her because he'd been up two hours and she was stabby. I put her on the boob and she instantly passed out. We stayed like that til morning. She just needed her mommy.

aligons · July 2015

After several nights of waking up every 2 hrs, LO finally slept from 11:30-7 with only 1 feeding at 4am! I usually BF but gave him a bottle of formula right before bedtime and it must have filled him up. And he had a huge poop right after he ate so I know he was feeling great lol. Plan to try the same thing tonight and hope we get the same results.

KaLikeAWind · July 2015

Last night IT DID NOT GET BETTER. LO, who slept like a rock downstairs between the 9pm and midnight feeding while my mom and I were watching a movie. I was ready for bed at 1045, but with an hour left before his next feeding time, didn't want to move him and have him wake up just to wake him up again in an hour. Well he woke up for his midnight feeding on time, and then would not go back to sleep. Spent the intervening hours between the midnight and 3am feeding with him on the boob, or bouncing, or rocking, or shushing, or whatever. Would not go back to sleep, would not even transition to awake, not angry.

And my mom came in and was talking to me, which I appreciated at first, but then kept hearing the same thing over and over, which is the same stuff I have been hearing over and since she got here. When its 230am and the last sleep I got was a nap at 8am, I do not want to hear - again - the same old same old stuff that requires me to reassure her.
She finally goes to bed, LO finally falls asleep after the 3am boob and bottle session. I move him to the pack n play, and he wakes up. Ugh. Pick him back up to soothe him and he falls right back asleep again in my arms.

I slept from 330am to 630am with LO propped against my arm and chest. Hooray... 3 hours :-S
And, needless to say, next time I will put us all to bed after the 9am feeding, movie or no movie.

katyertl · July 2015

How long do you ladies let your LO self soothe if they start to fuss or cry while you put them down?last night we put her down for bed and usually she's out but she ended up waking shortly after and cried for idk what seems like maybe 2 minutes and I finally went in to get her. Cuddled her until she fell asleep again. I know your suppose to put them down when they're drowsy but it's so hard!

dancegurl1118 · July 2015

@katyertl I give her like 5-6 minutes of whining before I go in and put a pacifier in her mouth or a hand on her chest. Once it progresses to actual screaming I go right in and get her. She has a tired whine/cry she does that I just ignore for those minutes. The actual screaming I never ignore because she's still so young. Once we try "crying it out" (if we need to, she's really good at going down at night) it'll be after 3 months.

katyertl · July 2015

dancegurl1118 said:
@katyertl I give her like 5-6 minutes of whining before I go in and put a pacifier in her mouth or a hand on her chest. Once it progresses to actual screaming I go right in and get her. She has a tired whine/cry she does that I just ignore for those minutes. The actual screaming I never ignore because she's still so young. Once we try "crying it out" (if we need to, she's really good at going down at night) it'll be after 3 months.

Ok!! Yeah I hate the crying out thing now so we don't but I hate knowing I probAbly don't let her self soothe enough

SammeMotley · July 2015

@katyertl you aren't "supposed" to do anything. It's your baby. Raise the child however you see fit. If you want LO to CIO then so be it. If you want to cuddle that kid until your both blue in the face, do so. There's not necessarily a right or wrong way to take care of babe. Obviously keeping them alive is top priority. You know what I mean. When it comes to raising my LO, I don't follow a book or opinion. Just my two cents. But then again, I'm on my third baby. The best advice as a parent you will ever get is follow your gut. Your instincts are your best friend. If something doesn't feel right, your mommy spidey senses will let you know.

Sorry, it just drives me crazy when society drives fear into new mothers with all these books and theories and such. It's a baby. It's your baby.

katyertl · July 2015

@SammeMotley thanks girl that makes me feel tons better. Just hard to hear all this advice and different views and not know what's best

HoosOnFirst · July 2015

katyertl said:
How long do you ladies let your LO self soothe if they start to fuss or cry while you put them down?last night we put her down for bed and usually she's out but she ended up waking shortly after and cried for idk what seems like maybe 2 minutes and I finally went in to get her. Cuddled her until she fell asleep again. I know your suppose to put them down when they're drowsy but it's so hard!

Our pediatrician suggested we let her go for about 5 minutes to see if she self soothes, and this is more for nighttime than daytime, to save our sanity so that we don't have to always get up. The doc says babies need to develop this coping mechanism so we should start doing so. LO is 6 weeks old, and the goal is to not overuse the approach.

SammeMotley · July 2015

katyertl said:
@SammeMotley thanks girl that makes me feel tons better. Just hard to hear all this advice and different views and not know what's best

Well however you feel is best would be best!! If you can stand to hear the baby cry and it doesn't break your heart then that may be a choice for you. I don't understand the whole method personally. How does a tiny creature who is dependent solely on you to care, comfort, feed, etc supposed to soothe themselves?? I don't mean to offend anyone, but that seems like an excuse for someone to not get up and tend to their child. How do you know LO doesn't need you?? If they were meant to self soothe, they wouldn't have parents. Again, this is just my opinion. Doctors are used for medicinal purposes. Not parenting advice. I think they cross the line at times. You do what feels right to you. If it hurts your heart to put her down, by all means hold her until you can't hold her anymore. They will only be little once. Babies do not know how to manipulate. If they're upset, they need you. And I don't know about you, but I love being needed. It's exhausting. Sometimes terrifying. But it won't last forever. And believe it or not, you'll miss it.

JessHeppell · July 2015

Sjeff0816 said:
Last night started out rough. One of those nights that had me considering the switch to formula so DH can help feed the baby at night. We usually start winding down for bed at 9. Last night she just wouldn't fall sleep and only wanted to nurse even though she kept spitting it back up. Daytime had also been a feeding frenzy, and she barely napped! Wouldn't sleep unless I was holding her. Finally fell asleep at midnight. Then.. Something magical happened. She slept FIVE HOURS. First time. She's 4 weeks old. Do you think I should have woken her up to eat? I was nervous about it. But it really was glorious and I needed that sleep so bad!

@JessHeppell I had crazy pain one week PP too. Turns out I did have an infection. It hurt every time I nursed while sitting. Especially when I shifted to get comfortable or scooted off the couch. Hope you don't have one too, but if you do, antibiotics helped within hours of taking them.

how do you know it was an infection? the only indicator they told me was foul smelling discharge. but idk if i even have that.

dancegurl1118 · July 2015

@SammeMotley I know she doesn't need me because she whines when she's tired and then falls asleep. If I picked her up for every peep I would never get sleep or anything done. I comfort her when she's upset, but when she's just whining because she's figuring out how to fall asleep that's not being upset.. And since I'm one of two people who responded I can tell you that it's not because I'm lazy and won't go get her, it's because I know my daughters cues.

Sammy K · July 2015

There's a big difference between a tired fuss and a real cry for need. And while there are moms totally OK with answering every peep their baby makes, I can also say from experience that mom's mental well being is very important and CIO can be a savior. When they cry for 5 min and then sleep for 6 hours, that wasn't a real cry. (I'm referencing a 4+month old, not a newborn) And yes, falling asleep on their own is a skill they need to learn.

SammeMotley · July 2015

Well I didn't mean to offend. Obviously if she's whining, that's not crying it out. No need to get defensive. It wasn't directed towards you. Whatever works for you.

HoosOnFirst · July 2015

SammeMotley said:

katyertl said:
@SammeMotley thanks girl that makes me feel tons better. Just hard to hear all this advice and different views and not know what's best
If you can stand to hear the baby cry and it doesn't break your heart then that may be a choice for you... I don't mean to offend anyone, but that seems like an excuse for someone to not get up and tend to their child.

Much offense taken, for the record. And I'm pretty easy-going on these boards, generally.

But not a fan of it being suggested that it doesn't bother "my heart" when my baby cries just because I let her go a few minutes to see if she will settle.

These first few weeks aren't all sparkles and unicorns...

(Meanwhile I've been sitting with LO in my arms for the last 45 minutes since she's fussy today and wants mommy, so maybe I'm just feeling sensitive about insinuations about how much I love my daughter).

SammeMotley · July 2015

Look here, if You wanna get butt hurt over my opinion that had absolutely nothing to do with you, by all means go for it!! I don't care how you raise your child!! I was talking to the lady that said it bothered her to put her child down and let her know it's absolutely ok for her to hold the baby! No one was referring to you! I don't give a rats ass how you parent and taking a quote out of context that was meant for someone else in a different situation is really ridiculous. You can pick and choose parts of a conversation you don't like, that wasn't meant for you, all day and take whatever offense you want to. No fucks given over here. I never said you were a bad parent or anyone else for that matter. I'm not new to the parenting lady I know all too well about never getting any sleep. I've been raising kids the past eight years and gave an opinion to someone else. If you're butt hurt over that, that's on you.

rrcameron21 · July 2015

SammeMotley said:
@katyertl you aren't "supposed" to do anything. It's your baby. Raise the child however you see fit. If you want LO to CIO then so be it. If you want to cuddle that kid until your both blue in the face, do so. There's not necessarily a right or wrong way to take care of babe. Obviously keeping them alive is top priority. You know what I mean. When it comes to raising my LO, I don't follow a book or opinion. Just my two cents. But then again, I'm on my third baby. The best advice as a parent you will ever get is follow your gut. Your instincts are your best friend. If something doesn't feel right, your mommy spidey senses will let you know.

Sorry, it just drives me crazy when society drives fear into new mothers with all these books and theories and such. It's a baby. It's your baby.

I love this! Made me feel a lot better about raising MY baby. I'm so sick of everyone else's opinions.

Thank you!

HoosOnFirst · July 2015

It's pretty clear you were responding to specific points both @dancegurl1118 and I made. So it's hard not to take that somewhat personally and defend ourselves.

I'm not interested in dwelling on it, except to say we 100% agree that there's no way it is "supposed" to be done and every mom should feel ok to see what works for her and LO, as long as it's safe.

OP sorry if this sidetracked an answer to your initial question: I know you wanted advice and I hope between all of our perspectives, you feel like you have some tools or ideas and know that your instincts will lead you to the right answer for you!

(Also, there's no winning when it comes to opinions on parenting. It can only end in guilt or hurt feelings!)

virginiaunicorn11 · July 2015

It is always uncomfortable but I love to see regulars disagree on things on here. Reminds me we are all different.

@dancegurl1118 for the EASY method, how do you cue LO it's time for a nap? my dude stays up 2+ hours then gets overtired. today I worked hard to get him to sleep after an hour of wake time. his witching hours weren't nearly as bad, so I'd like to keep trying...but I don't see any concrete advice on getting a baby to sleep when he's tired during the day. bedtime I understand. TIA

aliciac2008 · July 2015

virginiaunicorn11 said:

It is always uncomfortable but I love to see regulars disagree on things on here. Reminds me we are all different. @dancegurl1118 for the EASY method, how do you cue LO it's time for a nap? my dude stays up 2+ hours then gets overtired. today I worked hard to get him to sleep after an hour of wake time. his witching hours weren't nearly as bad, so I'd like to keep trying...but I don't see any concrete advice on getting a baby to sleep when he's tired during the day. bedtime I understand. TIA

I've read to do an abbreviated version of your night time routine. Here's our routine. https://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/07/four-s-wind-down-ritual.html

aliciac2008 · July 2015

Actually, this link is better. It specifically talks about what you can do before a nap and before bed time. btw, I'm not affiliated with this website at all. I just really like it.

https://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/sleep-routine.html

dancegurl1118 · July 2015

@virginiaunicorn11 she has a very distinct "mama I'm tired" whine. So after we spend 20-30 minutes after a feeding "playing" or just walking around and talking I swaddle her arms and then put her in the swing with the mobile on and she watches it for a few minutes and then dozes off. Without the swing I'm lost during the day...she needs motion for naps, doesn't know how to put herself down even though she does it effortlessly at night.

lccarls · July 2015

I'm at 4 weeks and having the same issue. I have other kids and know it gets better but I'm struggling to be positive right know.

virginiaunicorn11 · July 2015

I woke up for some reason I didn't know, and LO was lying face down in his bassinet! Not just on his stomach, but face completely down, muffled on the bassinet. I was half asleep and snatched him up to sleep on me.
Just woke for the 1:00 feed and can't decide where he should sleep for the rest of tonight - on me or in the bassinet. Ugh. No more side sleeping in the bassinet til he can roll himself over. This is not good for my nerves.

And stupid DH told me a terrible news story about an infant because it kept him up all last night and he wanted to get it off his chest. For f's sake, dude, why put that burden on ME?! There is a reason I don't click on that crap!!!!

Ugh. Just ugh. Someone build me a cloud for my boy to sleep on. I would cry if I weren't so tired and hard wired to be logical vs hysterical.

YouAreMySunshine15 · July 2015

@JessHeppell I thought I had a UTI because it hurt to pee. I went to the doctor and urine sample showed infection, but not UTI. Did you call your doc? Feel better!

Sammy K · July 2015

lccarls said:
I'm at 4 weeks and having the same issue. I have other kids and know it gets better but I'm struggling to be positive right know.

I am right there with you. LOL is 4 weeks and DS is 2.5. The other night, LOL was up every hour and then when I finally got her down, DS woke up to thunder and I seriously questioned why I had any kids, let alone two. I know its the sleep deprivation talking, but still.

JessHeppell · July 2015

Sjeff0816 said:
@JessHeppell I thought I had a UTI because it hurt to pee. I went to the doctor and urine sample showed infection, but not UTI. Did you call your doc? Feel better!

yeah i have an appointment tomorrow.
not looking forward to it.. how do they check for infection anyways?

janat1717 · July 2015

@virginiaunicorn11 How terrifying! Awesome that your mommy radar must have kicked in though

slr1229 · July 2015

Our girl is pissed tonight. Won't lay down and chews on hands so when I feed her (I know she's not hungry) she stops and then falls asleep but when i put her down she gets pissed. Being such a brat tonight and I'm getting so frustrated and questioning if I can EBF still. she's 3 weeks tomorrow and it appears lots of babies go through a funk at that stage.

Sammy K · July 2015

Why is farting and pooping so traumatic? LO would sleep an hour longer if it wasn't for this. And we can't sleep through the noise either.

YouAreMySunshine15 · July 2015

LO just slept for 4.5 hours! 5 hours last night. We just got approval to let her sleep at night, since she gained 2 lbs from birth. I hope this lasts. Does anyone know if these stretches will affect my milk supply? Dumb question?

@JessHeppell they just did the urine sample and an exam. I was also allergic to my pads, so if you're feeling extra irritated, maybe that's your problem too? I switched to natural pads (ugh). Those and the antibiotics got me back on track!

rrcameron21 · July 2015

Fiancé just asked me to snuggle and I had to decline because LO is so fussy today and wont sleep anywhere but on me.

It made me so sad

Nighttime sucks.

klkonwi · July 2015

^^^^^^^^ same. If I've been cuddling the babe all day I don't love cuddling with DH at night..... Sad!

dancegurl1118 · July 2015

Nighttime after her shots....horrible. She's never had a night like this. Poor babe.

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