Stupid Questions Thread

JessieAlbin · April 2014

The grandma dramz kill me. Quit being crazy old women, ladies. 60 is not too young to be a grandma, moms get to make mom decisions without your judgement, your role is supportive not star of the show, you may only be at the labor if you are invited, don't buy things you can't afford, and quit dismissing current safety requirements. Did I miss anything?

AcaAwkward · April 2014

Heidiman said:
Thank you @thomas930‌ and @ColleenSwerb‌. I'm guessing this is just one of many ridiculous battles I will have with her. She told me that she hated it when her MIL was trying to tell her what to do and how to do it when she had my husband.

A woman I work with and happens to be friends with her was telling me that they had a conversation about me at this monthly thing they do where she was telling them basically what a control freak I am. Apparently I am "too natural" which she doesn't get and is "just going along with it" (My husband am I want a hypnobirth, for me to BF and to CD, oh my!) And this is all coming from the woman who does not want to be called any version of grandmother because it makes her feel old. She wants my daughter to call her by her first name and I'm bad because I am not ok with that, but most importantly, my husband is not ok with it. She should be proud that she is becoming a grandmother at 60 when she is still healthy and can enjoy it. My dad passed away 9 years ago yesterday and my mom has COPD and seriously may not be alive another year. She is dealing with a partially collapsed lung right now in fact. It makes me disgusted that she's embarrassed to be a grandmother. So I guess the car seat is a chance to exert power where she feels like she doesn't have any.

There's my introspective rant for the day. Was that therapy? That felt a lot like therapy. Ha!!

My MIL, while she has no issue being a grandmother and having a grandmother name, also thinks I'm super crunchy and too much of a control freak and that I've brainwashed DH into agreeing with me on parenting decisions she doesn't understand. SO FUN. Hang in there and stick to your guns!

zoopsiedaisy · April 2014

JessieAlbin said:
The grandma dramz kill me. Quit being crazy old women, ladies. 60 is not too young to be a grandma, moms get to make mom decisions without your judgement, your role is supportive not star of the show, you may only be at the labor if you are invited, don't buy things you can't afford, and quit dismissing current safety requirements. Did I miss anything?

Nailed it!! I think I'm going to put this inside a card that says, "You're a Granny!" on the front and give it to her when she comes to the hospital after the baby is born.

RedDawnsRevenge · April 2014

@amhah09‌ I guess that is the difference between CC nursing and OB nursing. I was a student nurse intern for 9 months before I got the EDRN position, but even then I had never heard of "as big as a pommelo" but softball isn't much smaller... Ecks... Unfortunately for me I hemorrhaged during my c/s and they just couldn't get me to clot. I never passed a single clot after having DD. We shall see about this time.

amhah09 · April 2014

RedDawnsRevenge said:
@amhah09‌ I guess that is the difference between CC nursing and OB nursing. I was a student nurse intern for 9 months before I got the EDRN position, but even then I had never heard of "as big as a pommelo" but softball isn't much smaller... Ecks... Unfortunately for me I hemorrhaged during my c/s and they just couldn't get me to clot. I never passed a single clot after having DD. We shall see about this time.

Yeah I find it alarming every time they tell me that. If I saw a softball sized clot at work I would freak out! Hopefully you have a better experience this time!

pbandjmom · April 2014

We were told no grand kids until MIL turned 60. Yeah, ok.

ksulli · April 2014

amhah09 said:
Dude my mom robbed the cradle and my stepdad is 37 and he loves being a Poppy.

Edited - maybe he's 38 now.

Um, DH is 38 in 2 weeks. Cannot fathom him having a grand kid. Even step.

Eija3014 · April 2014

Heidiman said:

The grandma dramz kill me. Quit being crazy old women, ladies. 60 is not too young to be a grandma, moms get to make mom decisions without your judgement, your role is supportive not star of the show, you may only be at the labor if you are invited, don't buy things you can't afford, and quit dismissing current safety requirements. Did I miss anything?
Nailed it!! I think I'm going to put this inside a card that says, "You're a Granny!" on the front and give it to her when she comes to the hospital after the baby is born.

Dooooo it. Seriously. Get her a huge pin or something

My mom did not take this pregnancy well at first. And while I am 21 and I realize that is on the younger end of the spectrum, she was 15 with her first. I don't think she has a right to pass judgement on our choices, since SO and are completely independent and have a stable, and fairly comfortable life together. I realized from the beginning that it was her own insecurities with getting older that was the problem, not my child. I got her a coffee mug that says all of the different names for grandma, which she didn't show much appreciation for at the time... But I catch her with it on a regular basis now (she loooves her coffee)

ETA missing word

Sheybre · April 2014

My mom is 53. I can't even tell you how many cheesy "nana" shirts she has bought and already wears.

Nellennium · April 2014

Can you still use EPO if you're dilated? Or is that a bad idea?

JoelleOK · April 2014

dani+california said:
Am I insane for not wanting to stay at the hospital after birth, barring any medical reasons to stay/complications? My midwives do home visits the first 3 days after birth, then a week, 2 weeks and so on.

They've advised me that I can be released as early as 4 hours after the birth. Assuming it's a reasonable hour and I'm feeling fine, I'd really rather be home recuperating than the hospital...but everyone I tell is all 'BUT WHEN WILL YOU REST' and 'that's not safe!'

Am I being foolish? Should I stay for the 24-48 hours?

I gave birth in a free standing birth center. The midwife policy was 6 hours after delivery you could go home if baby was nursing and you had peed. Oh and they monitored how much bleeding you have to make sure you're clotting. I sleep much better in my own room with my own pillow. My little dude was pretty sleepy the first 12-18 hours so that was the longest rest I got for several weeks.

I'm not sure what your hospitals' policy is but based on the stories here and other places it sounds like it can be hard to actually sleep. Noise, being checked by nurses, visitors dropping in, etc.

In short: if you're cleared to go home do it.

thomas930 · April 2014

honeyzoo said:
How do I update an original post (including the title)? I want to be sure I can be a good labor buddy!!

There should be a little gear symbol on the right side of the post and when you click it you should get the option to edit the post. That will also include the title.

thomas930 · April 2014

dani+california said:
Am I insane for not wanting to stay at the hospital after birth, barring any medical reasons to stay/complications? My midwives do home visits the first 3 days after birth, then a week, 2 weeks and so on.

They've advised me that I can be released as early as 4 hours after the birth. Assuming it's a reasonable hour and I'm feeling fine, I'd really rather be home recuperating than the hospital...but everyone I tell is all 'BUT WHEN WILL YOU REST' and 'that's not safe!'

Am I being foolish? Should I stay for the 24-48 hours?

The birth center I had my DD at keeps moms for the first 6 hours if there were no complications and 12 hours if you were GBS+.

You'll probably rest better in the comfort of your own home anyway. I don't ever get sleep in hospitals.

Emily041285 · April 2014

I plan to ask my dr about this on Monday but does anyone know of a questionnaire or maybe a chart of warning signs for ppd I could give DH? He needs something easy and I'm concerned I might not notice the signs in myself.

RedDawnsRevenge · April 2014

dani+california said:
Am I insane for not wanting to stay at the hospital after birth, barring any medical reasons to stay/complications? My midwives do home visits the first 3 days after birth, then a week, 2 weeks and so on.

They've advised me that I can be released as early as 4 hours after the birth. Assuming it's a reasonable hour and I'm feeling fine, I'd really rather be home recuperating than the hospital...but everyone I tell is all 'BUT WHEN WILL YOU REST' and 'that's not safe!'

Am I being foolish? Should I stay for the 24-48 hours?

I got no rest in the hospital after my c/s. We are planning this to be an HBAC. As long as you have someone at home (aren't going home alone) I see no problems with this. Home is much safer than the germ infested hospital. And as for rest, with hourly rounding, constant vitals taking, there isn't any rest. But I might be crazy.

thomas930 · April 2014

Emily041285 said:
I plan to ask my dr about this on Monday but does anyone know of a questionnaire or maybe a chart of warning signs for ppd I could give DH? He needs something easy and I'm concerned I might not notice the signs in myself.

You might want to check out postpartumprogress.com

I found it really helpful and there is a good list of symptoms. Its long but its really detailed and symptoms can vary so much which is why I'm suggesting it. I'm mobile so I can't link to the page with symptoms but if you click the 'Get Answers' drop down that's where you can find it.

There more streamlined lists around the internet that can help but I wanted to mention this as well.

AcaAwkward · April 2014

dani+california said:
Am I insane for not wanting to stay at the hospital after birth, barring any medical reasons to stay/complications? My midwives do home visits the first 3 days after birth, then a week, 2 weeks and so on.

They've advised me that I can be released as early as 4 hours after the birth. Assuming it's a reasonable hour and I'm feeling fine, I'd really rather be home recuperating than the hospital...but everyone I tell is all 'BUT WHEN WILL YOU REST' and 'that's not safe!'

Am I being foolish? Should I stay for the 24-48 hours?

I hate being in the hospital (aside from the amazing ice and the cafe in the lobby's breakfast tacos)! I left as soon as I could (standard for a CS is 4 nights; my OB is awesome and released me after 3) and I rest so much better at home! If you're feeling fine and baby is doing well, go for the early release!

The only "pro" to being in the hospital for me is easy access to the LCs there.

Emily041285 · April 2014

@thomas930‌ thanks! I must've been searching for the wrong thing. I only found articles and was looking for something I might even be able to put on the fridge.

I'll check that website out!

thomas930 · April 2014

@Emily041285‌ your welcome. Your OB should definitely be able to give you a more bullet point version too.

It can definitely be hard to recognize since PPD really isn't a one size fits all thing.

amhah09 · April 2014

ksulli said:

amhah09 said:
Dude my mom robbed the cradle and my stepdad is 37 and he loves being a Poppy.

Edited - maybe he's 38 now.
Um, DH is 38 in 2 weeks. Cannot fathom him having a grand kid. Even step.

My BIL is 38 as well. Totally trippy to me sometimes.

amhah09 · April 2014

Emily041285 said:
I plan to ask my dr about this on Monday but does anyone know of a questionnaire or maybe a chart of warning signs for ppd I could give DH? He needs something easy and I'm concerned I might not notice the signs in myself.

Edinburgh Scale: https://www.fresno.ucsf.edu/pediatrics/downloads/edinburghscale.pdf

ETA tag @Emily041285‌

lilmama412 · April 2014

dani+california said:
Am I insane for not wanting to stay at the hospital after birth, barring any medical reasons to stay/complications? My midwives do home visits the first 3 days after birth, then a week, 2 weeks and so on.

They've advised me that I can be released as early as 4 hours after the birth. Assuming it's a reasonable hour and I'm feeling fine, I'd really rather be home recuperating than the hospital...but everyone I tell is all 'BUT WHEN WILL YOU REST' and 'that's not safe!'

Am I being foolish? Should I stay for the 24-48 hours?

Maybe I'm the one that's crazy, but I love being in the hospital after birth. You have someone cooking for you, the nurses taking care of you and LO. All you have to do/worry about is laying in bed cuddling your new baby. If I were at home, I would feel obligated to do things. I love having no pressure or obligations and letting people wait on me hand and foot. I mean how often do we really get that in life? Might as well soak it up while we can!!

fourthnlast · April 2014

ColleenSwerb said:

Yea, I don't mind the hospital at all. Mine didn't do hourly rounds or vitals checks after the very first night, and I don't remember them being hourly even then. I rest just fine over night and during the day. Definitely a personal preference thing, and there's nothing wrong with leaving quickly if you want.

Yes, the hospital is like a vacation. 4 days of someone waiting on me, bringing me food...I'll take it. I've always felt so relaxed in the hospital, and after the first 24 hours, they check on you a few times during the day, but not at night.

amhah09 · April 2014

Ditto the hospital-likers.

Emztron500 · April 2014

dani+california said:

Am I insane for not wanting to stay at the hospital after birth, barring any medical reasons to stay/complications? My midwives do home visits the first 3 days after birth, then a week, 2 weeks and so on. They've advised me that I can be released as early as 4 hours after the birth. Assuming it's a reasonable hour and I'm feeling fine, I'd really rather be home recuperating than the hospital...but everyone I tell is all 'BUT WHEN WILL YOU REST' and 'that's not safe!' Am I being foolish? Should I stay for the 24-48 hours?

I'm delivering at a birth centre with midwives and they do not keep anyone longer than 3-4 hours. They think home is the best place to rest and recover and I'm inclined to agree. We won't be having any visitors at the birth centre (other than my mum who will be there for the actual birth) and will just see everyone else at home, and get the normal home visits from the midwife. If baby's healthy I'm sure it's fine! You can always call if something worries you.

Edrami · April 2014

This may have been brought up before but do I have to wash the car seat and stroller covers?

ksulli · April 2014

@KendraColeslaw said:
Do outside babies get hiccups as much as inside babies? I'm honestly so over the throbbing in my hips!

DD has them all the time now, but I don't really remember them from the inside.

amhah09 · April 2014

Edrami said:
This may have been brought up before but do I have to wash the car seat and stroller covers?

No you do not but if you choose to then make sure you read your car seat manual and wash according to their instruction.

mandacann · April 2014

.

KendraColeslaw said:

Do outside babies get hiccups as much as inside babies? I'm honestly so over the throbbing in my hips!

Mine does. It's kind of pitiful how much she gets them :-\

AcaAwkward · April 2014

KendraColeslaw said:
Do outside babies get hiccups as much as inside babies? I'm honestly so over the throbbing in my hips!

DD got hiccups constantly in the womb and still gets them all the time at age 2!

MissWhis · April 2014

TheLibraryLady said:
.

KendraColeslaw said:

Do outside babies get hiccups as much as inside babies? I'm honestly so over the throbbing in my hips!

Mine does. It's kind of pitiful how much she gets them :-\

This.

She had them 4+ times a day when I was pregnant and now has them at least that much, if not more. Usually right after a feed, so it's this sad, milky, sleepy hiccup session.

hordol · April 2014

When did you all drop with your first baby? I'm almost 39 weeks and LO still hasn't dropped, but I'm about 80% effaced and 2 cm dilated as of my appointment about a week ago, and I lost my mucus plug a few days ago as well...I'm terrified baby will never drop and we will have issues. Everything I've read about it says, "If you haven't dropped yet, don't worry--it's common that second time + moms don't drop until labor." But...I'm not a second time mom! What about first time moms that never drop? (I do realize that 39 weeks is still a little early for most first time moms, but I just notice my body getting ready in so many other ways but DS still wants to hang out under my ribs.)

Asljoc · April 2014

hordol said:

When did you all drop with your first baby? I'm almost 39 weeks and LO still hasn't dropped, but I'm about 80% effaced and 2 cm dilated as of my appointment about a week ago, and I lost my mucus plug a few days ago as well...I'm terrified baby will never drop and we will have issues. Everything I've read about it says, "If you haven't dropped yet, don't worry--it's common that second time + moms don't drop until labor." But...I'm not a second time mom! What about first time moms that never drop? (I do realize that 39 weeks is still a little early for most first time moms, but I just notice my body getting ready in so many other ways but DS still wants to hang out under my ribs.)

DD didn't drop until I started contractions so I wouldn't worry too much. Sometimes these babies love to stay up high.

ksulli · April 2014

@hordol said:
When did you all drop with your first baby?

When my water broke, which was about 20 hours into labor.

MrsZ0811 · April 2014

Ok so this is probably really early to be thinking about this but here we go anyway. I am starting to look at summer plans and we are going to an air show in July (we go every year, DH works at the airport and LOVES planes). Air shows are loud and so I want to have sound earmuffs for LO. Anyone know where I can get ones that will fit/work for such a LO. I have seen kids ones at Meijer, but I'm thinking that they will be too big for a 12 week old or so.

sherks11 · April 2014

MrsZ0811 said:

Ok so this is probably really early to be thinking about this but here we go anyway. I am starting to look at summer plans and we are going to an air show in July (we go every year, DH works at the airport and LOVES planes). Air shows are loud and so I want to have sound earmuffs for LO. Anyone know where I can get ones that will fit/work for such a LO. I have seen kids ones at Meijer, but I'm thinking that they will be too big for a 12 week old or so.

I thought about something similar but for 4th of July... Any STMs have advice on if anything needs to be done or am I overthinking??

spano41 · April 2014

So here is a stupid question. The last time I was at the dentist the hygienist was all excited because the next time I go in I will have a baby with me. Do people bring their babies with them to the dentist? What do you do if they start crying while you are getting your teeth cleaned? I feel like I could bring a baby to most kinds of appointments and still attend to them, but at the dentist you are kind of incapacitated.

bacorrea · April 2014

When can you start jogging with a baby? I'm not talking about me being healed. I feel like I read on here you have to wait for the baby to running/jogging with the baby until certain age? Is it not safe? I was thinking about doing a color run in September so she would be roughly 5 months old.
Thanks!

ksulli · April 2014

@ahoefling said:

I thought about something similar but for 4th of July... Any STMs have advice on if anything needs to be done or am I overthinking??

DD was born July 1, and my neighbors are pyros. She didn't even notice the fireworks.

MrsZ0811 · April 2014

Melody*W*

Thank you for this suggestion! The Thunderbirds are loud and now DH will be SO happy to be able to take his baby to see them!

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