Stupid Questions Thread

BiggerinRealLife

I've seen this on a few other boards (because, you know, I'm a stalker) and thought it would be awesome if we had a safe place to ask all our dumb questions about babies and motherhood or whatever as we think of them. I feel like my brain is getting full of questions, but I never want to start a whole thread for a question I'm sure will make other mothers say "duh". Hopefully I'm not the only one!

BiggerinRealLife

Question:
How do you clean the umbilical stump, and about when does it fall off? I don't know why, but the memories I have of my little sisters' brown, shriveled stumps still haunt me.

Question:
Can you start using nipple cream early? Mine have been dry and feeling itchy. It won't mess things up for baby's first latch somehow if I'm using it already, will it?

Question:
Are onesies really that hard to get over a newborn's head? I keep seeing moms say they are, but I never had trouble when I watched my friends' kids. They were always at least a month old, though, so I wondered. Should I get kimono style tops instead for at first?

Question:
What the heck are those little socks for hands things for? And wouldn't a swaddle do the same thing?

JessieAlbin

Yes. I'm in.

Why do my boobs hurt so bad when they leak?? Like, someone took an ice cube to the nipple kind of hurt. Does this mean breast feeding is gonna suck?!

Twirple

I don't mind answering these with my experience.  

Question: 
How do you clean the umbilical stump, and about when does it fall off? If I remember correctly (it has been almost 3 years) you don't really clean the umbilical stump.  I think they used to recommend cleaning it with alcohol, but not anymore.  You really just want to keep it dry and covered.  DS's fell off just after a week.

Question: 
Can you start using nipple cream early? Yep, you're not going to hurt anything by using it.  I hope it helps you.

Question:
Are onesies really that hard to get over a newborn's head? I never had an issue with it, and DS wore them all the time.  They are designed to go over a babies head.

Question: 
What the heck are those little socks for hands things for? Babies can easily scratch themselves.  The hand socks prevent this.  That said we never used them.  And yes, a swaddle would do the same thing.

Twirple

Question:

Why do my boobs hurt so bad when they leak?? This sounds like the let down sensation.  You will feel this for the first let down, each time you feed, but it doesn't mean that breastfeeding will suck.  I'm not going to say that breastfeeding will be easy, especially early on, but even when it hurt horribly, I loved it.  It is so relaxing for Mom and Baby.

irisheyez7

Question:
Are onesies really that hard to get over a newborn's head? I keep seeing moms say they are, but I never had trouble when I watched my friends' kids. They were always at least a month old, though, so I wondered. Should I get kimono style tops instead for at first?

I am a FTM so I have no idea if this is true or not, but I read on the Feb14 Dumb Questions thread that the little "cuffs" on the shoulders of most onsies are designed to allow for you to pull the onsie up from the feet down, eliminating the need for putting it over their heads and bending their little flexible necks! I don't know if this is true so I got some kimono style ones as well but it would be good to know :-)

BiggerinRealLife

@Twirple is a fount of knowledge.

That's a clever trick @irisheyes7! I'll keep that in mind.

MamaFantastic

What twirple said!! Highly endorse each answer

I found kimono onesies to be a bigger pain.

MNeforos

I was told to use a pea size drop of the nipple cream or my own milk to soothe that area. My lactation consultant also said a good latch should prevent any pain during breast feeding so if it hurts that is a sign something is so right.

patunia7321

Love this, I'm full of stupid questions.... One was the nipple cream- just got the 3 jars of motherlove that I ordered and wondered if it would be stupid to add it to my after shower moisturizing routine. Looks like I'll go for it. Everything is so dry this winter!

Lindsay808

MamaFantastic said:

What twirple said!! Highly endorse each answer

I found kimono onesies to be a bigger pain.

Why did you find them a bigger pain? I've been trying to stock up on them because I thought they were suppose to be better.

AcaAwkward

Re: onesies -- I think people just get nervous about their crazy undeveloped newborn necks...but really, babies are pretty sturdy! DD's umbilical stump didn't fall off for 3 weeks so I used the kimono style tops and looser fitting gowns for that purpose rather than worry about a tighter fitting onesie rubbing the stump.

Re: hand mitts -- they do prevent scratches, but a lot of babies really like to have access to their hands, especially when they are awake. I always feel like babies in mitts look like tiny mental patients, so we never used them

margaretnekrosius

New dumb question: I've seen a lot of posts about leaking. I'm a FTM and 31 weeks. Is it ok that I have no leaking at all?

Teresa1896

margaretnekrosius said:

New dumb question: I've seen a lot of posts about leaking. I'm a FTM and 31 weeks. Is it ok that I have no leaking at all?

I BF my DD for 16 months and never leaked during pregnancy. My milk came in after a couple days. So I think you're fine!

AcaAwkward

margaretnekrosius said:

New dumb question: I've seen a lot of posts about leaking. I'm a FTM and 31 weeks. Is it ok that I have no leaking at all?

I never leaked with DD -- not during pregnancy and not during 19 mo of nursing! It doesn't mean anything!

eireyes

margaretnekrosius said:

New dumb question: I've seen a lot of posts about leaking. I'm a FTM and 31 weeks. Is it ok that I have no leaking at all?

I had the same question! Thanks for the answers all. This is a great idea BIRL!

Cecilbear

Love this thread, @BiggerinRealLife! My question is for all the natural birth mamas: I keep hearing about "the ring of fire" (ahh!). About how long does this last? Moments? Hours? Getting scared over here!

Sisimama10

BiggerinRealLife said:

Question:
How do you clean the umbilical stump, and about when does it fall off? I don't know why, but the memories I have of my little sisters' brown, shriveled stumps still haunt me.

Question:
Can you start using nipple cream early? Mine have been dry and feeling itchy. It won't mess things up for baby's first latch somehow if I'm using it already, will it?

Question:
Are onesies really that hard to get over a newborn's head? I keep seeing moms say they are, but I never had trouble when I watched my friends' kids. They were always at least a month old, though, so I wondered. Should I get kimono style tops instead for at first?

Question:
What the heck are those little socks for hands things for? And wouldn't a swaddle do the same thing?

Took about 2 weeks for DD's stump to fall off. My dr told me to completely leave it alone and no full body baths until after it had fallen off. Only sponge baths before.

thomas930

Cecilbear said:

Love this thread, @BiggerinRealLife! My question is for all the natural birth mamas: I keep hearing about "the ring of fire" (ahh!). About how long does this last? Moments? Hours? Getting scared over here!

For me, the "ring of fire" was felt when delivering the baby's head (and maybe shoulders). 

It's hard to remember because you really do forget about all the pain after. 

CalinAZ

Thanks for starting this! So nice to have a place to ask questions without starting a new thread. 

First question: Do onsies bother babies before their umbilical cord falls off? I've seen t-shirt style tops for newborns and am wondering if they aren't supposed to be wearing full onsies in the beginning?

Second: What do babies wear in the hospital, before they come home?

Airynn Chica

@CalinAZ Here the newborns are given a sleeper by the hospital for the first day/night, but after that the baby wears whatever clothes you have brought. For me, I used sleepers the whole time.

My DD1 wore onesies and never a t-shirt and they didn't bother her umbilical cord. I don't like t-shirts on newborns as they ride up under clothes and I was worried about their stomach area getting cold as it was winter when DD1 was born and will be winter here for this LO.

ksulli

Even with a good latch BFing hurt a fair arount while your nipples get adjusted to so much contact.

Mamamonzo

When you STM+ were about to be FTMs did you ever sit in the middle of all the shit you bought and cry because you didn't know what the hell to do with it all, and then think how the actual fuck am I going to care for a baby? What do I do with a baby?

thomas930

@Ooopsbaby14 I had a mirror but I didn't watch, mostly because my eyes are closed when I am pushing. I would have actually like to see it (curiosity sake) but so far I can't even keep my eyes open when I'm pushing so hard lol. 

But I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to watch what's going on right down there

nikki912

@cecilbear
Ring of fire for me was while I was crowning to when the head was out. Since I had a cervical lip that was a long time- about an hour. But as PP said- I'm doing it again so it cnt be that bad! AND not all women experience this! A friend who also birthed naturally said she felt no ring of fire and instead felt numb due to the pressure on various nerves. So you never know!

ETA: on second thought I'm confusing one pain for another...ring of fire lasted probably less than 5 minutes. It took about an hour from when they could see the head to when he was out.

@ooopsbaby14
I had no interest either. I can watch anyone else give birth and I have watched a lot of videos- but me? No thanks. I'd like to just imagine its beautiful down there and springs back perfectly right after.

snowclouds

Mamamonzo said:

When you STM+ were about to be FTMs did you ever sit in the middle of all the shit you bought and cry because you didn't know what the hell to do with it all, and then think how the actual fuck am I going to care for a baby? What do I do with a baby?

Yes.  When baby gets here, you take it one day at a time.  Hell sometimes you take it 1 hour at a time.  You'll get into your groove and start to trust your instinct.  No one knows that baby better than you.  Remember that.  Put all the extra crap away in the closet.  You'll be happy to have it when baby actually needs it, but you can deal with it later when the baby does need it.

beautifulstr13

If I remember correctly I did have some trouble with certain onsies fitting over DS' head. They usually just say stretch them out a bit before you put them on. That worked for us.

The hand covers are neat but we always found putting an extra pair of socks over his hands worked better. They have a little stronger elastic so they don't slip off as often.

The umbilical cord doesn't require a lot of care. I think we were told to put Vaseline on it during diaper changes. You also might need to fold down the tops of the diaper so it doesn't rub the cord. I think that depends on what type of diaper you use.

mamahann

Mamamonzo said:

When you STM+ were about to be FTMs did you ever sit in the middle of all the shit you bought and cry because you didn't know what the hell to do with it all, and then think how the actual fuck am I going to care for a baby? What do I do with a baby?

I'm a FTM and I was up this morning from 3:30am to 6:30am when my alarm went off crying and panicking that DH won't finish the nursery and our new bedroom in time and I'm not going to have everything we need and OMG  I actually have to get her out of me at some point. It was awful

MamaFantastic

the excess snaps were what bothered me most about kimono shirts!  i feel like i'm a pretty capable human being in general, and i just HATED trying to match up which flap went under and which went over, etc etc.  when babies are tiny, you learn to loathe unnecessary snaps pretty quickly (at least i did).

the ring of fire lasted maybe 30 seconds?  it was the apex of his crowning...  right when he was juuuuust far enough out to be at his widest point, and it spanned the duration of whatever contraction it took to expel him fully from my body.  in the moment, it hurt like hell and i was totally out of control of what was happening, because the midwife was busy extracting him from me.  i just yelled and squeezed whatever i could grab, and then it was over, and he was splayed out on my chest, all slimy, bloody, oxygen-deprived 9 pounds of pure perfection

don't stress.  in the moment, the ring of fire is a GOOD thing!  it means labor is 99% over.

Ashleypixie

The wheeled that mirror up to me when he was crowning and I don't even know what the hell I was looking at, just screamed "NO, take that thing AWAY!!!" I really don't feel like I missed out either. I do kind of want to see what a placenta looks like. Or not. I don't know.

pbandjmom

Mamamonzo said:

When you STM+ were about to be FTMs did you ever sit in the middle of all the shit you bought and cry because you didn't know what the hell to do with it all, and then think how the actual fuck am I going to care for a baby? What do I do with a baby?

Just wanted to say I TOTALLY AM WITH YOU on this one. Holy overwhelming.

natpirt

thomas930 said:

Cecilbear said:

Love this thread, @BiggerinRealLife! My question is for all the natural birth mamas: I keep hearing about "the ring of fire" (ahh!). About how long does this last? Moments? Hours? Getting scared over here!

For me, the "ring of fire" was felt when delivering the baby's head (and maybe shoulders). 

It's hard to remember because you really do forget about all the pain after. 

This! But I honestly don't remember much of the pain. Worst for me was when she was crowning and my body wanted to push but they wanted to make sure she was turned right. So body saying push and mind saying don't push hurt the worst. 

ksulli

kcp913 said:

Great thread BiRL.

My question: can you use the lasinoh storage bags in the playtex drop in bottles?

I don't believe they work.

thomas930

@kcp913 Playtex drops ins aren't really meant for storage. You can freeze in the lasinoh storage bags and than thaw and pour into the drop ins. That's what I did and it really wasn't an issue. 

Cecilbear

Thanks, ladies!! ::biiiig sigh of relief!::

Ashleypixie

Here's one. Does anyone have really bad contractions after sex? I'm only 30 weeks but she's already starting to drop so I'm not sure if that's it, but they're more intense than BH.

sking72

Yes I need this thread!

Jogger strollers: when can you start jogging with baby? I heard you had to wait a certain time but have no idea how long it is. (I'm not really planning on jogging for a while anyway, but ill pretend). And you can walk baby outside and in a stroller from day one right?

I have a million more silly questions but I can't remember any of them when I get a chance to ask them!

nicole mackenzie

Teresa1896 said:

margaretnekrosius said:

New dumb question: I've seen a lot of posts about leaking. I'm a FTM and 31 weeks. Is it ok that I have no leaking at all?

I BF my DD for 16 months and never leaked during pregnancy. My milk came in after a couple days. So I think you're fine!

I'm 30 weeks and no leaking either. So everyone is different

Side note I apperantly just became super protective of my breasts and don't like DH even thinking about touching them... Even though they aren't sore at the moment.

pleasantsarg

Ooopsbaby14 said:

Did anyone else NOT want to watch the delivery in the mirror? Mirror was offered and I lied and said I could see when I really couldn't. I didn't want to see what was happening with my parts! I don't feel I missed out on anything by not witnessing the actual entrance into the world. DH watch once and chose not to see it again. he jokes that he never should have seen what he saw.

For me, I wanted to see because I couldn't feel the same way with the epidural so I wanted to know I was making progress. DH didn't want to see.

They brought out huge mirrors and I told them to put that away (DH would have fainted, I'm too modest and didn't want that broadcast in the room), I got out my compact mirror and used that instead.

thomas930

@Ashleypixie Not with this pregnancy but with my others yes, I did get some pretty intense contractions after sex. There was never a pattern to them and they went away on their own so I never really worried about it. Your uterus is going to contract (pregnant or not) every time you have an organism. 

@sking72 Someone can correct me if I'm wrong but I do believe they have to be sitting unassisted or at least 6 months before its recommend to jog/run with a stroller. You also aren't supposed to use the car seat with it while running. You can probably find the guidelines right in the manual of the stroller. Walking can start whenever you feel up to it. 

PurpleSnapDragons

BiggerinRealLife said:

Question: How do you clean the umbilical stump, and about when does it fall off? I don't know why, but the memories I have of my little sisters' brown, shriveled stumps still haunt me. Question: Can you start using nipple cream early? Mine have been dry and feeling itchy. It won't mess things up for baby's first latch somehow if I'm using it already, will it? Question: Are onesies really that hard to get over a newborn's head? I keep seeing moms say they are, but I never had trouble when I watched my friends' kids. They were always at least a month old, though, so I wondered. Should I get kimono style tops instead for at first? Question: What the heck are those little socks for hands things for? And wouldn't a swaddle do the same thing?

1) Your pediatrician will tell you their preference.  Some say to use alcohol, some just water.  It can fall off within days or if you are really unlucky like we were...it can take 27 days!

2) You can totally use nipple cream now.  Lanolin is amazing!  
3) Newborns are floppy so it was nice to have the side snaps and not have to get it over baby's head.  It depends on the onesie and the head size. It's not a huge deal but FT parents might prefer side snaps
4) Those sock things are AWESOME if your baby is born with long nails and you are freaked and afraid of cutting those baby fingers (honestly you probably will cut the fingers by accident more than once.  Luckily baby won't remember).  We used them while baby awake but not eating the first few weeks.  We swaddled while sleeping