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April 2014 Moms
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Tackiest Idea I've heard of yet...

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Re: Tackiest Idea I've heard of yet...

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  • snmetz7snmetz7 member
    To add to the horror, my mother and my best friend co hosted my shower. My mother invited some of her work friends who "know" me through stories but whom I'd NEVER MET! oh the horror and shame that they would want to meet me and share in an exciting part of my life.
    I work in the same college district but not the same school as them, their thank you notes were are sent to them through inter office mail!!!!!
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  • MamaFantasticMamaFantastic member
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    let's refocus our energy here, tacky police!!!

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  • Rogue237Rogue237 member
    MamaFantastic said:
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    let's refocus our energy here, tacky police!!!

    What do you MEAN it's tacky to let shower guests pay for their own food?!
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  • CinemaGoddessCinemaGoddess member
    P&B715 said:
    If my hostesses have this done at my baby shower this weekend I'll be sad... I spent a lot of time hand making my thank you notes.
    Have you already addressed them?  


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  • cloudninemom2becloudninemom2be member
    AprilMay9 said:

    I've seen this done. I am of the mindset that if someone buys me a gift the least I could do is write them a thank you and address the damn envelope.

    I would not do this as a host or want it done at my shower. For my wedding shower I addressed all my thank yous before the shower so afterwards I only had to write the thank yous and made them get out much quicker. It really isn't a huge deal and if you can carve 3 hours out of your schedule to have a party in your honor and get presents then you can carve 3 hours out of your day to write thank yous.

    I don't eye roll it too hard at it though. There are wayyy worse things in my opinion than writing out my address at a shower.

    Agree!!
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  • cloudninemom2becloudninemom2be member
    dani+california said:

    I've addressed my own at a shower before and wasn't particularly perturbed by it, but it's not something I would do. I think I'm the only person in the world who enjoys writing 'thank you' cards and getting to use my calligraphy pen. Yeah that's right, I own one...I'm so gangsta.

    I'll just see myself out.

    @dani+California, I love you! I am absolutely the same. I LOVE handwriting cards and envelopes. In fact, I still handwrite letters to my family and friends. ( yes that just happened) I don't care that it takes a stamp and a day or two to get there...I enjoy doing it. I have already started making my thank you cards for both of my showers...scrapbook paper, stamps, cutouts...that's what I do baby!

    I will show myself out right behind you!
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  • insertclevernameinsertclevername member
    CinemaGoddess said:


    Andrewsgal said:

    Honestly I fully admit now to just being a bored bitch. It is a snow day minus the snow so I have been watching DS play Lego Star Wars for and hour. This has kept me entertained.

    When you're bored, you draw a smiley face on your wall and fire a gun at it.  

    It is known.  


    While eating pouches. Maybe she can use the dandelions in her neighbor's yard as target practice.
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  • cloudninemom2becloudninemom2be member
    spano41 said:

    chichi589 said:

    I've done this at every shower I've ever been too I think. I personally would rather guarantee I get a thank you & this is the way people do it these days to make are no one is missed. You are having someone else write down everything you get there's no guarantees they don't miss something or someone's name on joint present or something. This way you have an envelope with their name on it you know something was missed and you can do a little digging to make sure that person gets the proper thank you. Not thanking a person is tacky. I assume you haven't been to many showers in your life.

    Ok....i have to disagree with this. You shouldn't have to do anything to remind the mom to write you a thank you note. She has the gift right there and a card saying who it's from! We're adults here, you should get a thank you note no matter what.
    This! Thank you notes should be automatic, no matter the situation!! You're not the only mom and or bride that has ever been exhausted. Get to the thank yous when you can, oh..idea!!!....maybe address the thank you envelopes now?!?! Bam...done by the time the shower gets here! It will take you 20 mins...heck, do one a night if that's all you have time for. :)
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  • cloudninemom2becloudninemom2be member
    LalaMama81 said:

    Dear God I had no idea it was such a hardship or imposition to write an address down. Presumably if these people are close enough to shower you w/ gifts, they are close enough to have made the cut in your address book. 


    ETA: If you don't have an address book - perfect time to make one!
    Brilliant! Let's start an etsy shop @ lalmama81.....an address book is a must have in my home office.
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  • cloudninemom2becloudninemom2be member
    melainiandmark said:

    At one of my wedding showers thrown by DH family the hostess had everyone address their own envelope. I thought it was helpful but not necessary. I absolutely love writing and have a huge stash of *gasp* stationary so I can send hand written notes. I believe I'm single handedly keeping the USPS in business. DH family doesn't know me very well (or at least they didn't then) so they thought they were being extremely helpful and I used the envelopes people wrote out at the shower. (I believe there was a raffle but I'm not 100% positive now that its been 5 years ago.) DH side is throwing my shower next weekend and I'm going to go out on a limb here and say there will probably be more of the same with the envelopes being written out at the shower. If that's what they want to do then so be it I guess. For my side of the family I had a shower a few weeks ago and the hostess gave me pre addressed labels for everyone including myself. I ended up using them but again it wasn't necessary as I like to write things out by hand. I will say that for however tacky it may be I get my thank you's mailed and delivered to everyone in less than a week from the shower. But I'd do that regardless if the addresses are pre-given to me or not because in addition to being excited for the gifts I received I am also excited to go home and start writing letters. I know I'm speshial.

     

    The tackiest thing I think for me is not receiving a thank you at all. At one baby shower I went to for a friend the hostess actually announced to all in attendance that one of our group gifts to the mom to be was that she didn't have to send out thank you cards to any of us because she would have her hands full. I just sat there in silence thinking now I've seen it all.



    Right there with you!! The postal service should be writing us thank you notes!! :)
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  • jennypenny1014jennypenny1014 member
    dani+california said:

    I've addressed my own at a shower before and wasn't particularly perturbed by it, but it's not something I would do. I think I'm the only person in the world who enjoys writing 'thank you' cards and getting to use my calligraphy pen. Yeah that's right, I own one...I'm so gangsta.

    I'll just see myself out.

    My mom had a calligraphy pen SET when I was a kid. Broad, medium, fine, AND double point pens. That's right, I learned on the real deal. We can walk out together.
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  • snmetz7snmetz7 member
    @jennypenny1014 when I was 6 or 7 my uncle gave me a calligraphy pen set. It was AWESOME! so many colors, so many different types of pens (I'm a pen whore) I was in love with my set. I looked up prices recently.... I was so sad that I couldn't reasonably afford to replace it!
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  • cloudninemom2becloudninemom2be member
    dani+california said:

    I've started a revolution! LET US ALL CALLIGRAPH...ATE?

    Preach it girl!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    I write thank you cards for everything and I address all my own envelopes, but I would not be upset in the least bit regarding the OP.

    But I'm also a gambler.  
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  • jennypenny1014jennypenny1014 member
    Andrewsgal said:

    The tackiest thing in this post is inviting someone you met once to a shower. Hello gift grabby.

    You say this as if the honoree is throwing the shower herself and/or has complete and total control over who is invited, what goes on at said event, etc., like some sort of pregzilla; or that you know ANYTHING about that person and their situation/relationship with these people. You know what else is tack-tastic? Talking out your ass and judging without merit.
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  • jennypenny1014jennypenny1014 member
    snmetz7 said:

    To add to the horror, my mother and my best friend co hosted my shower. My mother invited some of her work friends who "know" me through stories but whom I'd NEVER MET! oh the horror and shame that they would want to meet me and share in an exciting part of my life.
    I work in the same college district but not the same school as them, their thank you notes were are sent to them through inter office mail!!!!!

    "BUUUUURN HEEEEEER!!" (I'd insert a gif but I'm mobile)
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  • avidkeoavidkeo member
    Wow, 7 pages on thank you notes in less than 12 hours!! man we are on fire!!!

    Hows this for bad etiquite - I didn't write thank you cards for our wedding, my DH did (I was very happy to leave them to him!) - and we only sent them to those who actually gave us a gift..... everyone else was thanked in person, or in the case of my cousin who didn't give a gift, but helped on the actual day in so many other ways a bottle of whiskey. 

    Personally etiquette is so subjective, whats tacky to one person is completely normal to another, and frankly feels like another way of mummy shaming - oh at X's shower we got hand crafted invitations and edible thank you notes, Y only used paper how tacky! Seriously it feels like everyone it just trying to one up everyone else! 

    Heck here in NZ, at the shower I am having next week, all the guests are bringing a plate! We are not spending any money. Now before you get shocked, that is our culture here, shared meal and all that. People here would find it weird if the host paid a huge amount for a catered event, and would actually be offended if they couldn't bring anything. See, subjective!

    OK, Flame away!
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  • avidkeoavidkeo member
    LalaMama81 said:

    Why is it bad etiquette for your husband to write wedding thank you notes?
    Oh it isn't? my bad!!!
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  • avidkeoavidkeo member
    LalaMama81 said:
    avidkeo said:
    LalaMama81 said:

    Why is it bad etiquette for your husband to write wedding thank you notes?
    Oh it isn't? my bad!!!
    I'll have to consult my library of etiquette books. :)  My guess is that if it ever was a rule it was b/c the role of a woman viewed differently. That is no longer the case. Just like women don't need escorts to go places, etc. 
    It's probably just me getting the wrong end of a very long thorny stick!!! Now that you bring it up, I actually don't ever remember hearing that DH can't write the cards. Probably just an assumption I had made since almost every post you ever read on the subject, the woman wrote the cards.... I don't think I've ever read anything where DH wrote them...
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  • Sarahjess06Sarahjess06 member
    edited February 2014
    This has been done at every shower I have ever attended. I say life saver.

    Personally, I HATE thank you cards, actually all cards in general. Giving and receiving. Such a waste of paper.
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  • BiggerinRealLifeBiggerinRealLife member
    @avidkeo I'd totally go to a shower like that.
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  • CinemaGoddessCinemaGoddess member
    This is totally different if you didn't open the gifts at your shower, tho.  

    If you didn't open it at the shower/party.whatever, then handwritten notes are a good idea.  


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  • chichi589chichi589 member
    @spano41 I hope for your sake none of your guests forget to include a card, or your person writing down who gifts are from doesn't have to use the bathroom or have an emergency & need to take a phone call. In an ideal world everything goes as planned.
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  • CinemaGoddessCinemaGoddess member
    AprilMay9 said:
    AprilMay9 said:
    No I am saying it is rude to not follow with a hand written thank you.
    I wholeheartedly disagree.  

    Why would you need to thank someone with a handwritten note when you sat there, gift in hand, looked in their eyes, and said "Thank you."   
    ---- Because it's the right thing to do and etiquette is about making others feel appreciated or welcomed in a situation. Most people, or at least half of gift givers appreciate receiving a warm hand written thank you in the mail. And I'm sure many don't actually give a fuck and keep score as to who they got a thank you from and who they didn't, but it is better to err on the side of showing appreciation. i feel like you are just trying to start a debate? Do you not send thank yous after an interview too since you thanked the person face to face?
    lol. 

    Yes, because going to someone to interview for a job, where they will hire you and give you money for a service you will provide for them is totally the same as receiving a gift.  

    Totally. 

    No, I'm not trying to start a debate, but where I come from, a spoken-word thank you, with warmth and tone and a hug is worth 10000x more than a card with a now-redundant message.  

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  • TkspriceTksprice member
    The etiquette gods would never frown on you not planning your own shower! They would frown on you planning it!
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  • Rogue237Rogue237 member
    AprilMay9 said:
    AprilMay9 said:
    No I am saying it is rude to not follow with a hand written thank you.
    I wholeheartedly disagree.  

    Why would you need to thank someone with a handwritten note when you sat there, gift in hand, looked in their eyes, and said "Thank you."   
    ---- Because it's the right thing to do and etiquette is about making others feel appreciated or welcomed in a situation. Most people, or at least half of gift givers appreciate receiving a warm hand written thank you in the mail. And I'm sure many don't actually give a fuck and keep score as to who they got a thank you from and who they didn't, but it is better to err on the side of showing appreciation. i feel like you are just trying to start a debate? Do you not send thank yous after an interview too since you thanked the person face to face?
    You send a hand written note as an interview thank you? That is crazy to me - I only send a thank you over email. Granted, I am in the digital field, so maybe we're special snowflakes?
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