Tackiest Idea I've heard of yet...

Israfel

For a baby shower, a "thank you envelope raffle"-- this is from another website's forum. Oy Vey. Could there be anything tackier than having your guests address their own thank you notes? And then dressing it up in the guise of a raffle? The other women on the board were all "what a great idea!" Dear god, I hope this is not a trend that catches on. FFS-- if people took enough time to go shopping, pick out a gift, wrap it, and bring it to your party, the VERY LEAST you can do is spend 30 seconds addressing the card.

pineconey

Huh? This has been done at every shower I've ever attended since I was a child. Are you insinuating that my family and friends are all tacky?

SeattleMomma

I'm confused! A thank you note raffle?

SeattleMomma

What are they trying raffle? Maybe, I should leave this one alone because I don't get it.

pineconey

@seattlemomma at the showers I've been to the person being honored would draw envelopes (usually while gifts are being opened) and guests whose names get drawn receive small thank you gifts (lotions, candles, etc) or center pieces (flowers, etc) to take home.

Israfel

pineconey said:

Huh? This has been done at every shower I've ever attended since I was a child. Are you insinuating that my family and friends are all tacky?

Well, you could ask Emily Post and Martha Stewart what they think.... https://thebridesguide.marthastewartweddings.com/2009/12/etiquette-should-you-ask-guests-to-address-their-own-thank-you-notes.html https://www.emilypost.com/weddings/planning-your-wedding/154-bridal-shower-dos-and-donts

Israfel

SeattleMomma said:

What are they trying raffle? Maybe, I should leave this one alone because I don't get it.

Basically it's a ploy to get the guests to address their own thank you notes. The notes go into a raffle, and the honoree gives them some kind of trinket for participating.

pineconey

Israfel said:

pineconey said:

Huh? This has been done at every shower I've ever attended since I was a child. Are you insinuating that my family and friends are all tacky?

Well, you could ask Emily Post and Martha Stewart what they think....
https://thebridesguide.marthastewartweddings.com/2009/12/etiquette-should-you-ask-guests-to-address-their-own-thank-you-notes.html

https://www.emilypost.com/weddings/planning-your-wedding/154-bridal-shower-dos-and-donts




Ah yes because I give two shits about pearl clutching, self-proclaimed etiquette masters.

kseccomb17

It sounds kind of helpful.. I don't find it tacky.

michaelad3

Writing my name and address is something that I am perfectly capable of, and I would often have to do anyway to give someone my address in the first place, so I've never minded self addressing an envelope, especially if it makes life easier for a pregnant mama or bride to be

bacorrea

This post would be welcomed on the baby shower board.

I don't think it's tacky. *shrugs* but I grew up going to second showers...OH THE HORROR!

Bees Everywhere

If I went to a shower and we were asked to address our own envelopes I'd just think it was clever. By the time my shower came around my hands were so painfully swollen it was so hard to write. They're still going to get the hand-written thank you note.  It would take a guest 30 seconds to fill out an envelope anyway, plus there's a gift raffle for incentive. 

Honestly that link says it would make some guests "furious." If you get "furious" over writing your address down at a shower you attend (presumably for a friend or family member because who the fuck else goes) then you should just lock yourself in your house. 

SeattleMomma

Oh ok. I've never heard of this before. I've only been to two baby showers ( not including mine) in my life though.

irisheyez7

Now I kinda want to do this at my shower...
Oh the horror...

JessieAlbin

I didn't plan my own shower. The etiquette gods would frown upon that. I also didn't micro manage what the ladies who planned my shower decided on for games and gift basket giving. The etiquette gods would also frown upon doing so. The ladies who planned my shower did the guest self addressing thing and raffled off a few baskets. I would have probably preferred to address thank you notes myself, but in the interest of being sweet to the ladies who went out of their way to make a special day for me, I let them do whatever they wanted, and my guests were not "furious." There are much, much more important details to get your panties in a twist about.

irisheyez7

"You made me write my address on an ENVELOPE?!?!"

MamaFantastic

My train of thought at 3am:

" An unread topic with a juicy title? How could i have missed this last night? I only went to bed 3 hours ago and surely it couldn't have been newly formed since then because it already has 15 repli..... OH. Huh. I see. Yyyyyyyeah this isn't going to go well at all for @israfel "



Im'ma just sit back and let the rest of the crew tackle this one...

Nxy

I had a good friend do this at her baby shower. The only part that annoyed me was even after we all self addressed our envelopes, she never sent out the thank you cards. She just tagged people on Facebook "thanks for coming to the shower it was so nice to see everyone! Baby xyz will be all set up thanks to all your gifts!!! Thanks again tagtagtag" now that's tacky!

BiggerinRealLife

@MamaFantastic Can't sleep either?

Katiecave

I've never seen the raffle but I've been to several baby and wedding showers where your address an envelope while you're there. I think it's a clever way to help out the new mom or bride to be who will probably be writing a ton of thank you notes anyway. *shrugs* can't see why anyone would be upset about doing that.... Especially if there was a raffle for a prize

ksulli

I've given pre-addressed envelopes to the honoree when I've thrown the shower- I figure it's super helpful, and I have the addresses from sending out the invites. Does that take the 'tacky' out of it, or is it still classless since the gift receiver saves the time/effor that the guests earned by bringing a gift and attending?

Lindsay808

I think this thread is incredibly tacky.

daniz110

Did it at both my bridal and baby shower. Guess I'm tacky but I don't care. Go to lots of showers and fill out an envelope every time. I'm surrounded by tackiness.

katieharpiceland

LOL at Emily Post. I read her first book (from 1922) for entertainment purposes. Do yourself a favor and go and read some excerpts from that book. Especially on how to be a lady.  

maelic

Is addressing your own thank you note inherently any tackier than throwing a party specifically engineered to buy someone stuff?

I think showers are tacky, period, but I'm not from around here. I also question the fundamental necessity of thank you notes when a phone call/warm thank you when you receive a present/favor would do just fine. But when in Rome (or not in Rome, in my case)... I just find the whole system bizarre and what people get offended by within said system equally bizarre. Bah.

edoliesmom

I've never heard of this before, but it sounds genius. I would even go as far as to say that I think it could be done without a raffle. :-O Have a stack of envelopes by the guest sign-in and have them do it there when they sign in with a cute little card instructing them on what to do in order to give a little extra help to the mom-to-be or bride? Anyone who has a problem with doing that sucks, but I can also see how having a raffle would add fun/interest to the shower too.

Sisimama10

Wouldn't bother me to write my address in an envelope.

smushi

Apparently my UO of the week comes early.  I fully agree with @israfel, it's incredibly tacky to me.  If someone went to the trouble to buy something for me/baby, travel to a shower, and sit through said shower while I open presents... Yeah, I think I can address an envelope and write them a nice note.  If they got invited to the shower, then I should have their address on hand....

ETA, or I can go to the trouble of getting it... 

AcaAwkward

I was raised by Thank You Note Nazis, so this isn't something I'd ever want done at a shower where I was the honoree, but it falls under "different strokes" and not "ZOMG SO TACKY KILL KILL KILL" for me.

Relatedly, I find the fact that etiquette is so regional to be pretty fascinating! I've been to tons of bridal and baby showers and never seen this done, but apparently it's popular elsewhere!

katieharpiceland

I also believe that etiquette is ever changing, which is why I brought up the Emily Post 1922 edition. Yes, Martha and the Emily Post people may hate it now, but, there's a very good chance it becomes acceptable in a few years. Its definitely not the worst offense in terms of etiquette. And I still never understand all this drama surrounding showers. 

ricekez

I'm not a big fan of the self-addressing thank-you notes, but I don't think it's the tackiest thing ever. Mostly I find it kind of odd to get a card in the mail with my handwriting on the front. I always spend a split second wondering "what did I mail to myself?" But I don't hold it against anyone; at least they took the time to write a thank-you note.

Serenla

Oh no, someone asking the guests to write down their address, maybe to make sure it's correct... The horror!

Hey but what do we know, we are just a whole bunch of trailer trash. Oh and before I get the "well you had to send them out" the hostess and I hand delivered a lot of the invitations.

Cecilbear

Oh, no! @mamafantastic, I may have flagged you on accident (sleepy, mobile Bumping).

RocksInTheWater

I couldn't care less that someone would ask me to write my address on an envelope at a shower even if I "spent money on a gift, took time out of my day to attend a shower and had to sit through someone opening gifts."  If I am attending a shower it is because I am there to honor a family member or friend.  Taking 5 seconds to address an envelope, why not?  There is cake, right?

MamaFantastic

Cecilbear said:

Oh, no! @mamafantastic, I may have flagged you on accident (sleepy, mobile Bumping).

ha!!  no prob

prior to this, i had 2 (seemingly unintentional, based on the context) flags that have disappeared now, so some benevolent mod fairy seems to have taken care of them, and maybe yours, without me even asking!

snowclouds

This was done at my baby shower.  I didn't host my shower and didn't dictate how it should be done.  None of my guests acted furious or annoyed.  So the tacky and me are all good.

I've also been to other showers where this was done and since it helps the person sending out the thank you notes and literally takes me 10 seconds to write an address I know, but that she would probably have to look up or ask me about I don't mind.  The funny thing is when I got the thank you card from that bridal shower, I thought, "That's odd.  Why did I send myself a card?"  

Mamamonzo

The only time it bothers me is when the actual thank you is sooo generic that they could have made a stamp, and stamped the same thing on each card. My SIL had us do this at her shower, then I saw My MIL's TY card and it was identical to mine. I mean put a little effort into it!!!

MamaFantastic

^^ i do specifically remember being very aware of my wording when i was sending cards to people who might conceivably read another person's card (i.e. my grandma and my aunt, who live in the same house).  i regurgitated some phrases with many cards, but i never just wrote a "dear X, thank you for X, it was really thoughtful and we'll enjoy using it in the future" type script for everyone.  i do really appreciate a thoughtfully written, personalized card.

Mustardseed2007

I've heard of having guests address their own envelopes but I've not seen it. For some reason it strikes me as more tacky at a wedding shower vs. a baby shower. Maybe b/c new moms/very pregnant ladies have enough to worry about?

If you are going to do it I like the idea of actually using the envelopes for something else like a raffle while the guests are there. It's like a way to separately thank your guests for helping you thank them later. Actually when I say it like that I see where people think it's tacky no matter what.

mrscrcalli

I'm sorry, did you just provide a link to some random chicks opinion I couldn't give an actual fuck about, in order to further prove your point?

You're drunk, and new around here if you thought that would save you.

For the record we gots some of the classiest bitches on then block up in A14. So you don't have to preach your Ediquite around here.

Good day. [-(

nicole mackenzie

Yeah, not tacky. As long as you are writing a personal note on the inside.

If you're offended by having to write down your address you've got other issues.