Tackiest Idea I've heard of yet...

olenkapdx

I feel like such an alien reading these baby shower no-no threads.  I am just realizing that I don't have any of my friends' addresses (my girls just sent out a FB invite to everyone...what does Emily Post have to say about that, I wonder?) 

pbandjmom

My dentist office always makes me self-address my next appointment reminder card. They are so damn tacky too - looks like I have to put finding a new office on my list now. 'Dem tacky bitches!

MrsZ0811

michaelad3 said:

Writing my name and address is something that I am perfectly capable of, and I would often have to do anyway to give someone my address in the first place, so I've never minded self addressing an envelope, especially if it makes life easier for a pregnant mama or bride to be

This. I have been to many showers where we were address an envelope right when you came in. I could see how helpful it would be, after writing 200 thanks you notes for my wedding!

emh81

To each their own... its not uncommon in my area for women to write their address in the corner of the card they give with their present so that they honoree doesn't have to go searching for it before sending thank-yous. 

spano41

I've heard of this before just because it's come up on the bump before but it's not common in my social circles. In my group of friends this would probably be considered tacky. We also tend to have smaller showers though so that probably makes a difference too (like 10-15 people). I think it's probably regional or just specific to certain social circles. If it's common in your area, go for it! I wouldn't want this at my shower, but I'm not planning it so I guess i don't really have a say! If it was really that much of a burden to address envelopes I would probably just have DH do it but I don't really see how being pregnant would prevent you from addressing envelopes, maybe I'll be eating those words later though.

Serenla

olenkapdx said:

I feel like such an alien reading these baby shower no-no threads.  I am just realizing that I don't have any of my friends' addresses (my girls just sent out a FB invite to everyone...what does Emily Post have to say about that, I wonder?) 

You don't even want to know. I suggested electronic invites for people my age, not even for the older generation they received letters, and my Mom flipped her shit. Welcome to the internet age.

Relish1025

No address, no thank you note. I guess it would just depend on whether the attendee really wanted an "Oh-my-glob Thank you" handwritten, or if a verbal would would suffice.

chichi589

I've done this at every shower I've ever been too I think. I personally would rather guarantee I get a thank you & this is the way people do it these days to make are no one is missed. You are having someone else write down everything you get there's no guarantees they don't miss something or someone's name on joint present or something. This way you have an envelope with their name on it you know something was missed and you can do a little digging to make sure that person gets the proper thank you. Not thanking a person is tacky. I assume you haven't been to many showers in your life.

ckred27

I dont find it tacky, I have a pile of thank yous to send out and the one thing that is stopping them from the mail is that they need addressess...that Im still trying to get from my mom and some of the gifters. Right now I WISH we had done this

spano41

chichi589 said:

I've done this at every shower I've ever been too I think. I personally would rather guarantee I get a thank you & this is the way people do it these days to make are no one is missed. You are having someone else write down everything you get there's no guarantees they don't miss something or someone's name on joint present or something. This way you have an envelope with their name on it you know something was missed and you can do a little digging to make sure that person gets the proper thank you. Not thanking a person is tacky. I assume you haven't been to many showers in your life.

Ok....i have to disagree with this. You shouldn't have to do anything to remind the mom to write you a thank you note. She has the gift right there and a card saying who it's from! We're adults here, you should get a thank you note no matter what.

pineconey

AprilMay9 said:

Really people. How hard is it to find addresses? You mailed them an invite right? If not how hard is it to use google.

You didn't mail the invite unless you threw your own shower.

pineconey

AprilMay9 said:

pineconey said:

AprilMay9 said:

Really people. How hard is it to find addresses? You mailed them an invite right? If not how hard is it to use google.

You didn't mail the invite unless you threw your own shower.

Is the hostess then holding them hostage and won't share? I had to give the hostess a list of people... Which included addresses.

Your wording implied that the honoree was the one who sent the invites.

pineconey

AprilMay9 said:

I think you know what I meant.

Not really. I thought you were implying that throwing your own shower, therefore, sending your own invites (so you'd have the addresses already) was less tacky than asking people to address their own.

Besides, a lot of people I know that get invited to showers end up hand delivering the invitations, so no, there's not always a magical list to go off of. Furthermore, you can't find everyone's address on google- I've moved 6 times in 3 years within this community. There are probably 6 different listings for my address out there.

JLyn821

pineconey said:

@seattlemomma at the showers I've been to the person being honored would draw envelopes (usually while gifts are being opened) and guests whose names get drawn receive small thank you gifts (lotions, candles, etc) or center pieces (flowers, etc) to take home.

This is exactly what I was going to say. 

TallaB

I don't get invited places, so Im not sure on "norms". But, the last wedding shower I attended they had us address an envelope and I honestly didn't think twice about it. I'm tacky though. I'll throw my own shower and bake my own cake!

pannk

Why should I care?

pineconey

LalaMama81 said:

Dear God I had no idea it was such a hardship or imposition to write an address down. Presumably if these people are close enough to shower you w/ gifts, they are close enough to have made the cut in your address book. 

ETA: If you don't have an address book - perfect time to make one!

Thank you for adding to my to do list. I'll move that to the very top, don't you worry. Wouldn't want to get bitch slapped by Martha Stewart for not having one.

Jenni0621

I've never been to a shower where I didn't fill out an envelope so I never thought about if it was tacky or not. That's just the way it's done here I guess.

Tferr02

I really don't mind writing my address down on an envelope. However after reading all this, I do feel like I should write apology notes to anyone that tries to keep up with me in an address book. In the 5 years DH and I have been married, we have averaged a little less than 8 months in each place.

mrscrcalli

I have an address book.. It's called an iPhone.. Not classy? Should I get a flowery one with paperclips and sticky notes in it like my grandmother? So many ideas.

sugarrush

misread post.  i love cake.

hlm184

I don't bother with address books since, being in the military, pretty much everyone we know moves all. the. time.

pineconey

LalaMama81 said:

You know address books can be electronic, right? It doesn't have to be a physical, paper one. Computer, phone, paper, spreadsheet, I don't care what the format is. It's not an unheard of notion to have some way of keeping your addresses straight. 

Do you send Christmas/holiday cards? Condolence cards? Birth announcements? Other thank you notes? Presents? 

I fail to see how having your addresses in one place is some antiquated, unnecessary notion. 

No to all of the above. I only send letters to my best friend, grandparents, and my parents. We don't do any sort of holiday cards, did not send out pregnancy announcements (won't send out birth announcements), and when if have a reason to send a thank you it's generally because they sent something first so I have their return address in front of me.

Stace0616

I have a Google Doc spreadsheet with addresses that was completely unhelpful when my hostess told me she needed to send eVites (as she waited until three weeks before the shower to start inviting people). She also bitched and moaned about having to write wedding thank you cards and mentioned that everyone should have written their address on an envelope for her--maybe then it wouldn't have taken her four months to send out thank yous??

I have a feeling that she'll be doing this for my shower. I don't necessarily like it, but I don't think it is the tackiest shower etiquette we've seen on this board. I'm also one of those weirdos that loves calligraphy and stationary, so I'm hoping that she doesn't do it so I can use my pretty pink thank you cards that I just bought

katieharpiceland

Can someone please explain to me what other people's opinions on shower etiquette has to do with you, personally? Why do these questions/statements keep coming up? For those that disagree, do you enjoy judging people that don't do things the way you do? Thank you notes are great! But, seriously, these threads are always just a massive cluster fuck. I'm not being (totally) snarky, I'd genuinely would like to know the motivation behind them. 

ETA I should clarify. Other people's opinions = internet strangers. 

chichi589

@spano41 you don't think in the history of showers in all the hustle and shifting gifts from shower venue to car to home that something got misplaced lost or disconnected from their gift? Idk about you but the chances of that happening are really good considering my venue is not at my home and we will be moving stuff around I don't live in a perfect world. I am just saying there is a chance and by having everyone fill out their name address you are guaranteed to make sure that you are sending the correct thank you to the correct person in a timely fashion.

Serenla

TallaB said:

I don't get invited places, so Im not sure on "norms". But, the last wedding shower I attended they had us address an envelope and I honestly didn't think twice about it. I'm tacky though. I'll throw my own shower and bake my own cake!

I am baking my own cake

LalaMama81 said:

Dear God I had no idea it was such a hardship or imposition to write an address down. Presumably if these people are close enough to shower you w/ gifts, they are close enough to have made the cut in your address book. 

ETA: If you don't have an address book - perfect time to make one!

Oh I have an address book, an email address book.

Edit
P.s. that is how I plan on sending the thank you letters, except for my grandparents of course. What does someone writing in 1922 have to say about that?

Stace0616

Wait, so posting a generic sentence of thanks on someone's Facebook wall is NOT ok?!

katieharpiceland

LalaMama81 said:

I just like arguing mostly.  

I mean, I'd never say anything at a shower if someone had these envelopes out. But in a etiquette type thread on the bump? I'll argue, discuss, whatever. Disagreeing doesn't mean I actually care. I don't care what most people do. Doesn't mean I agree or would do it the same way. 

I look at the threads as more philosophical or hypothetical than anything else. 

Fair enough :-) I live in a place where showers are considered tacky, so, its a non-issue. I just get sad reading this stuff thinking that people maybe still think women are incapable of doing things on their own, like Emily Post suggests. More of an overall etiquette thing than specifically showers. 

baileymama3

Wanna talk tacky??? I have a friend who said she is going to make her Maid of Honor write the thank you notes DURING her wedding shower...HA! now THAT is terrible!

I have never done the self addressed envelopes at showers (only been to like 3?)...I don't think it's "tacky," IF associated with a raffle or making a game of it.

I have an excel spreadsheet of emails and addresses (spent a lot of time putting that together from the wedding)--- you can find anyone's address on google. I also don't mind writing thank you notes--- put on a movie, get out your list and start writing!

 

 

katieharpiceland

@Serenla it pretty much assumes you're the lowest of the low and will never be considered high class in society. Your dinner parties will be poorly attended. Its a sad, sad future for you. 

Also, never let your bridge partner know you are a better player than them by playing well. This is really rude. They want to be your partner because your fun and you want them to feel like they are the best in the world. Just a heads up to keep you totally out of the dumpsters of a low class life. 

Serenla

@katieharpiceland oh no Katie! My life is over...we actually split the bill at our dinner parties is that tacky as well?

katieharpiceland

@Serenla You're just doomed. Give up now. 

Serenla

Yeah this is pretty much how I feel...

katieharpiceland

Serenla said:

Yeah this is pretty much how I feel...

Love me some Patrick Stewart!

Serenla

KendraColeslaw said:

Rogue237

I just wanted to say that if writing out your own address on a card is that upsetting, you should probably get a real problem. 

MamaFantastic

KendraColeslaw said:

YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!    as soon as i read the "meh" opening i was hoping someone would bust out a sweet gif.

you ladies don't disappoint.

Rogue237

Serenla said:

Yeah this is pretty much how I feel...

Bluebird2318

I would feel more comfortable addressing all my thank you envelopes by hand, but I wouldn't think anything of it if I were asked to fill out my address at someone else's shower. Honestly, if they said thank you in person I would not even care if I received a thank you card note at all.