Tackiest Idea I've heard of yet...

Serenla

Rogue237 said:

AprilMay9 said:

CinemaGoddess said:

AprilMay9 said:

No I am saying it is rude to not follow with a hand written thank you.

I wholeheartedly disagree.  

Why would you need to thank someone with a handwritten note when you sat there, gift in hand, looked in their eyes, and said "Thank you."   

----
Because it's the right thing to do and etiquette is about making others feel appreciated or welcomed in a situation. Most people, or at least half of gift givers appreciate receiving a warm hand written thank you in the mail. And I'm sure many don't actually give a fuck and keep score as to who they got a thank you from and who they didn't, but it is better to err on the side of showing appreciation.

i feel like you are just trying to start a debate? Do you not send thank yous after an interview too since you thanked the person face to face?

You send a hand written note as an interview thank you? That is crazy to me - I only send a thank you over email. Granted, I am in the digital field, so maybe we're special snowflakes?

Dude my supervisor would not hire anyone that sent a thank you note. He called them ass kissers, lose/lose situation.

spano41

chichi589 Thanks for your concern....I'm pretty sure it will be ok, I'm very resourceful.

CinemaGoddess

mummyofsix said:

OK, I am going to need a warning in thread if @CinemaGoddess is commenting because her Mollylock sig is unfair to hormonal women on pelvic rest. 

Thanks. 

Sorry. 

Not really.  

Serenla

LalaMama81 said:

Serenla said:

Dude my supervisor would not hire anyone that sent a thank you note. He called them ass kissers, lose/lose situation.

Seriously? I have never ever heard anyone say sending a thank you note (whatever your format) after a job interview is bad form - in fact quite the opposite. 

No I'm fucking with you all, ok I wish I was. Yeah he said that and yes I work in a professional office setting.
Eta have I ever mentioned how much I dislike my job? Lol.

katieharpiceland

I've never been to an interview. That's a completely foreign world to me. We get jobs by playing anonymously. Behind a screen. If you sent a thank you note, you'd totally be disqualified :-) But its interesting to read about interviews and thank you notes!!

BiggerinRealLife

Thank you's for an interview?!? What is this madness??

No, seriously. Never heard of this. And I worked in HR and hired people. If we'd ever gotten a thank you note we'd have thought it was really weird.

Serenla

BiggerinRealLife said:

Thank you's for an interview?!? What is this madness??

No, seriously. Never heard of this. And I worked in HR and hired people. If we'd ever gotten a thank you note we'd have thought it was really weird.

You can't ever win!

Miss504NOLA

I think thank you cards after an interview make you look like a sycophant. It seems really fake to me.

Sarahjess06

Never in my life have I heard of sending a thank you note for an interview. That's just insane to me.

The only time I feel this is necessary, is if you were emailed to say you did not receive the job. In which case I would follow up with a "thank you for the opportunity" email. Other than that.... No.

CinemaGoddess

TYs for interviews is pretty standard for office jobs, especially higher-level positions.  

GlynnCoco

I didn't write thank you notes I had my Hubbi's Man do it? He has beautiful calligraphy and almost all the guests were from Hubbi's side or his employees so I don't know them very well??? But we had the cards custom made and embossed and they were so pretty and every one liked them and they were in Babi's favorite colors so I think it was okay!!!!! Okay???

snmetz7

Last time I interviewed for a job  (about a year ago) I sent a thank you email to follow up for the interview. I didn't get the job because they thought I was a kiss ass. I know this because the hiring person was friends with a mutual friend (but didn't know I knew the other person) and was going over all the candidates with her.

Cecilbear

snmetz7 said:

Last time I interviewed for a job  (about a year ago) I sent a thank you email to follow up for the interview. I didn't get the job because they thought I was a kiss ass. I know this because the hiring person was friends with a mutual friend (but didn't know I knew the other person) and was going over all the candidates with her.

Whaaaat? I thought that was standard! 

jennypenny1014

LalaMama81 said:

BiggerinRealLife said:

Thank you's for an interview?!? What is this madness??

No, seriously. Never heard of this. And I worked in HR and hired people. If we'd ever gotten a thank you note we'd have thought it was really weird.

It really never would have occurred to me that this was regional - but not sure what else it would be. I don't think it's the industry. It was definitely part of our senior orientation in undergrad from the career office. I am tempted to FB her and ask if it has changed in recent years. 

___________________________________________
Speaking as someone who has had several interviews in the past couple of months, I actually just sent a thank you email to the hiring manager for my interview yesterday. I too am of the camp that a thank you is necessary, as a sort of "post interview cover letter" recapping what makes you the best candidate for thr position. I just assumed that everyone did this. FTR I'm in Colorado...if we're trying to establish whether this is a regional thing.

TallaB

The ONLY time I sent a thank you note for an interview, I didn't get the job But, i've gotten plenty of jobs without sending thank you notes!

avidkeo

BiggerinRealLife said:

Thank you's for an interview?!? What is this madness?? No, seriously. Never heard of this. And I worked in HR and hired people. If we'd ever gotten a thank you note we'd have thought it was really weird.

I'm the kind of person who would send a thank you e-mail to the person who interviewed me about a week or so later.. as a bit of a nudge, as in "remember me, that awesome person you want to hire, give me a job! 

ETA I've always got the job I've applied for bar one... so this system works for me!

but an honest to god hand written thank you note, hell no!

bacorrea

I was taught in my Professional Communication class in undergrad to send a thank you note after the interview.

hlm184

Teacher here, have interviewed in the northwest and southeast, have never sent thank you notes and have always gotten the job.

Cecilbear

Sidenote: I have hired three employees over the past few years and out of a dozen or so interviewees, only 3-4 sent me thank you notes post-interview. I hired two of them, though of course I'm not saying that it was the note that sealed the deal. It was just a nice, professional gesture that kept their names in my mind. 

Another woman sent me a thank you letter after an interview and essentially said nothing of her qualifications, but complimented my sense of style! It was crazy unprofessional and I wanted to call her up and give her some advice...but of course, I didn't do that

Cecilbear

This thread has taken a really interesting turn....

spano41

I would send a thank you e-mail but not a hand written note, that's mainly because all of the communication happens through e-mail so it just seems more natural.  It's more of a 'thanks, let me know if you have any questions' type of thing than strictly a thank you though.  I'm in academia (science) in the NW. 

Bluebird2318

snmetz7 said:

Last time I interviewed for a job  (about a year ago) I sent a thank you email to follow up for the interview. I didn't get the job because they thought I was a kiss ass. I know this because the hiring person was friends with a mutual friend (but didn't know I knew the other person) and was going over all the candidates with her.

Whoa! I haven't heard of that before. I've always heard a follow-up call or e-mail was a good idea. I know DH usually sends a pretty typical "thank you for the opportunity" sort of thing when he was trying to promote. 

All the etiquette threads make me realize that I am weird about etiquette. I care about what I do, but there is very little that other people do that would offend me. Literally the same rule that I would refuse to break I would not bat an eye at if someone else did with me as a guest (with some basic exceptions). 

joules40

I skipped pages 2-8, but yes to diy addresses on thank you cards and yes to interview thank yous (however an email for that would suffice).
All of my friends did the diy addresses for weddings and baby showers. At first, I thought it was tacky until it was my turn and it saved so much time!

CinemaGoddess

AprilMay9 said:

Didn't mean to derail this into business thank yous. I was just making a point that it's ridiculous to say you don't have to write a thank you because you said it verbally. I usually send email thank yous after interviews. I am in legal in New England. I've been in house in financial and pharma industries. And it's expected. I've done hand written when I've interviewed at small old school firms. Ive had multiple managers who dq someone for not sending a thank you. It's not to kiss ass it's to show you care and want the job. You can all get back to fighting about shower thank yous.

Newp.  

BiggerinRealLife

poru said:

LalaMama81 said:

BiggerinRealLife said:

Thank you's for an interview?!? What is this madness??

No, seriously. Never heard of this. And I worked in HR and hired people. If we'd ever gotten a thank you note we'd have thought it was really weird.

It really never would have occurred to me that this was regional - but not sure what else it would be. I don't think it's the industry. It was definitely part of our senior orientation in undergrad from the career office. I am tempted to FB her and ask if it has changed in recent years. 

I bet its industry-based, because BIRL and I are in the same metro region, and have different experiences.


---

@poru But do you write a handwritten note, or an email? And if you get interviewed by a panel do they all get a note, or just the hiring manager?

rockstarlaw

Definitely sent thank you notes for shower gifts and interviews, but not for other gifts (birthday, Christmas, etc)

JessieAlbin

maelic said:

I can fix it:

Just focus on the mini cupcakes and everything will be okay. 

Everything is not ok, because my husband STOLE the last of my red velvet ice cream from me and killed it, and this photo just tore that emotional wound right open!!

Lacynduck

I don't write thank-you notes. Ever. I'm so ungrateful and have no etiquette.

Stace0616

Hey if anyone wants to outsource, I'll write your baby shower AND interview thank you cards!

joules40

Plus an interview thank you gives you a chance to bring up stuff you talked about and sell yourself again to the employer. I've been on interview committees and when its down to comparable candidates, the one who sent the thank you (bc it is never both of them who do) gets the job.

RebeccaY1

I've done this at various showers.  I don't think it's very tacky at all.  We did this at my baby shower.  Personally, I wouldn't have chosen to do this.  I was glad that it was done since a few family members had moved and I now have their new addresses.    

GlynnCoco

poru said:

GlynnCoco said:

I didn't write thank you notes I had my Hubbi's Man do it? He has beautiful calligraphy and almost all the guests were from Hubbi's side or his employees so I don't know them very well??? But we had the cards custom made and embossed and they were so pretty and every one liked them and they were in Babi's favorite colors so I think it was okay!!!!! Okay???

Ok, I'll bite.  Your Hubbi's man?  Is this like your butler?

Well we don't call him that Hubbi isn't BATMAN!!! ) ) ) ) ) He helps Hubby with anything he needs. I have help too, but its more ofr household stuff while Richard is just to help my Hubbi. And he sometimes helps me to if he has time and Hubbi didn't need him.

cloudninemom2be

rockstarlaw said:

Definitely sent thank you notes for shower gifts and interviews, but not for other gifts (birthday, Christmas, etc)

I send thank yous for everything. Just what I do. Not saying it's right, not saying it's uncalled for. Just saying I do what I do!

cloudninemom2be

Stace0616 said:

Hey if anyone wants to outsource, I'll write your baby shower AND interview thank you cards!

Me too! Count me in the business @stace0616

cloudninemom2be

Wait...why is Batman involved in thank you notes?

nallen14

I agree with acaawkard. It definitely is a "different strokes" thing. Seems like a lot of people wouldn't mind addressing an envelope while others think it's totally tacky. Yes making thank you notes isn't hard but making thank you notes while your vagina/c-section scar is healing and a baby is keeping you up all night might be a bit more trying. Not to mention it's just the address part, it's not like they're asking you to WRITE your own thank you, mama still has to write and sign all those and if she's having a large shower (my husband's family alone is almost 15 women, plus my family, plus co-workers, plus church friends, plus my mom's friends = a hella lot of women) that might be quite a task

avidkeo

GlynnCoco said:

poru said:

GlynnCoco said:

I didn't write thank you notes I had my Hubbi's Man do it? He has beautiful calligraphy and almost all the guests were from Hubbi's side or his employees so I don't know them very well??? But we had the cards custom made and embossed and they were so pretty and every one liked them and they were in Babi's favorite colors so I think it was okay!!!!! Okay???

Ok, I'll bite.  Your Hubbi's man?  Is this like your butler?

Well we don't call him that Hubbi isn't BATMAN!!! ) ) ) ) ) He helps Hubby with anything he needs. I have help too, but its more ofr household stuff while Richard is just to help my Hubbi. And he sometimes helps me to if he has time and Hubbi didn't need him.

Am I the only one who wonders how he "helps you".....

deidremaria

LalaMama81 said:

nallen14 said:

I agree with acaawkard. It definitely is a "different strokes" thing. Seems like a lot of people wouldn't mind addressing an envelope while others think it's totally tacky. Yes making thank you notes isn't hard but making thank you notes while your vagina/c-section scar is healing and a baby is keeping you up all night might be a bit more trying. Not to mention it's just the address part, it's not like they're asking you to WRITE your own thank you, mama still has to write and sign all those and if she's having a large shower (my husband's family alone is almost 15 women, plus my family, plus co-workers, plus church friends, plus my mom's friends = a hella lot of women) that might be quite a task

Well, I said I'd happily write it even though I'd never do it and technically think it's tacky. That said, aren't most showers several months before the due date? Sure, babies can come early, but a few weeks (or even months!) is plenty of time. Why would anyone wait until they had their baby, unless it was some kind of early labor situation? 

I just finally got my sisters to tell me when my shower is.... It's a week before I'm due. Not all showers are thrown for women in trimester 2

irisheyez7

Oh lord. All I can think of is this scene from "The Help"...

BiggerinRealLife

Ok, I write thank you emails (doubling as a follow up email) for an interview, depending on the company. I think that's normal. I was just picturing handwritten calligraphied notes, and was like, nope!  But still, when I was in HR we didn't get hardly any thank you emails for interviews. Huh.