We rebooked our Hawaii vacation that we canceled in February. We are going end of May/early June. We are taking all our kids so not a baby moon. I have been with the last 2 pregnancies too.
@slothstatus my SO’s mom gave us as a Xmas gift a time slot to her timeshare for Aruba may 19-26. She didn’t know I was pregnant during Xmas and my SO is a little concerned bc I’ll be 7 months by then but I’m 1000% wanting to still go! As long as my dr says I’m ok to go, and no health scares we are using that trip as our baby moon.
We're tentatively heading to Virginia and the Outer Banks for 10 days right at the end -- like flying out at 33.5 weeks and home at 35 weeks (and my OB has mentioned more than once the possibility of scheduling a C-section for 38-39 weeks). But it's to see family, who lives there, so isn't like we're on some remote island without a long-term place to stay if something goes sideways -- my husband's grandparents live in Virginia Beach, in a four-bedroom house, just the two of them, and it's 15 minutes from there to a really good NICU (and never more than 20 minutes, even at their house on the beach at the OBX, from a well-rated L/D unit). So my OB was tentatively ok with it, although I have to stay flexible.
@slothstatus we are going on a cruise in two weeks! Royal Caribbean doesn’t let you go after 23 weeks, so we booked it for right before that - I’ll be 21 weeks. We don’t have any vacations planned beyond that, except some camping this summer.
That’s so nice I hope you all enjoy your vacations!
I’m really hoping to go to Florida or Hawaii to stay in the states in case I need to go to a hospital. Hopefully in 2 weeks I’m told I no longer have complete placenta previa 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
@slothstatus this isn’t exactly a vacation, but I’m flying for a work trip the following week. I’ll be around 21 weeks. We just got back from another flight for vacation and I was 18 weeks. Still pretty early, so it wasn’t too big of a deal, but I have thought about flying somewhere for a baby-moon. We don’t have anything planned yet though. I’m thinking we’ll more than likely drive and do a long weekend just bc I’m starting a new job and don’t want to ask for a lot of time off just yet.
Not exactly a vacation but my oldest has dance nationals in Virginia Beach end of June for 10 days. I’ll be about 32 weeks and we have to drive 15 hours to get there. I’m hoping I’m not miserable and can enjoy the down time and that nothing comes up making it so I cannot go. We don’t do nationals every year so I would feel terrible if I couldn’t go and my kiddo isn’t old enough to get ready on her own for all her routines.
@novelblessings we'll overlap there! We do the first 4-5 days in Virginia Beach and then head to the OBX. But no chance in hell I would drive it! I also will basically be waited on while I'm there and not expected to do jack (my in-laws do laundry CONSTANTLY and we all take turns for cooking so I only have one, maybe two nights the whole time where I'll have to feed anyone) but cannot imagine driving that far, and then having to actually be responsible, while that far along. MAJOR kudos to you!
@slothstatus I’ll be flying to London at 23 weeks — it could be worse! I’ll be walking the aisle every 30 minutes, wearing compression socks. And at 33 weeks in June I’ll potentially be flying to Montana for a wedding (with DH and 2 year old DS) which requires a layover. I’m honestly still not sure about that one as we haven’t bought tickets. I think anything before like 30-34 weeks you will likely still be comfortable. For the Montana trip I need to really evaluate whether the hospital is equipped enough and whether we’re ok with a long term stay — right? It feels like a gamble.
We're going to Scottsdale in April for a cousin's 40th bday, so not really a babymoon, but I plan to lounge around in the spa/pool area when everyone else is getting crazy
I’m heading to Spain around 22-ish weeks pregnant. I’ll be wearing compression stockings and trying to walk the aisle when I’m not actively trying to sleep for the first flight (10 hours). So, should be interesting. But I’m excited. Not tropical but I’ve never been and I’m very excited for the opportunity!
@ki1244 When I found out we were expecting again and double checked the dates…I wanted to fly. But with all the dance stuff we would have to check and still needing a vehicle to get to the convention center daily, it’s not worth it for us to fly all 4 of us and all the luggage out there. We had our first competition this weekend and I was exhausted from all the running and quick changes…it’s going to be a very long season.
Question for STMs: my son will be two in May. We are in a nanny share and the other boy is 2.5. Today, other kid pushed DS over out of anger and DS hit his head on the hardwood floor. This isn’t the first time DS has been hit by this child. It’s a pretty clear pattern too: when something is going on at home for the other child (parent out of town) or when it’s a transition time (mom or dad picking him up) he gets pushy and takes it out on DS. Our nanny handled it well today it seems, and spent a ton of time comforting DS, but the other parent wasn’t as shocked as I think she could’ve been and I don’t know, I just worry about DS 1) getting hurt and 2) learning to hit as a way to express anger. DS already hits me sometimes and we’re working on it but he has never done it to anyone else. This is my first toddler and I’m very aware that hitting is normal, I just wonder if any other moms have dealt with their toddlers essentially getting bullied by another toddler not in the family. If they were siblings obviously my approach would be different but they aren’t (we don’t HAVE to keep this arrangement, you know?). And, I my last question is for childcare providers in the group: how seriously do you take hitting and at what point are parents required to step in or when is the child removed from the program? Appreciate any insight (and honestly if you think I’m overreacting you can tell me that too!!)
@ccmrc143 as a former toddler room teacher and young preschool teacher in a daycare center, it’s super common for kids to hit, especially when they are feeling some sort of big emotion like anger. When hitting because concerning was when it escalated beyond just a slap with the hand. Pushing hard enough for the other child to fall over, throwing objects at other children, etc.
I once had a student that would try to push children’s heads into gates and throw chairs at children at 2 years old, it started just as shoving regularly. I’d have a serious talk with the parents, that’s what I would do with this behavior at a center. You can try and help the nanny come up with good intervention strategies to be able to stop the behaviors before they happen especially if there is a trigger that can be identified.
It’s one thing for children to shove/hit/kick/etc every so often but if it’s a regular thing that’s when it’s more of a safety issue. Address it with the parents and make them aware that if behavior continues to escalate then there may be some discussion about whether to continue the nanny share
@ccmrc143 Hitting is a learned behavior. My kids didn’t hit until they were around other kids that hit. I think if you’re worried I would bring it up to the sitter. Ask her where the line is for this behavior. Express that you realize it hitting is within the range of normal toddler behavior but your child shouldn’t be hot so hard that he falls to ground and slams his head. She should be having a serious conversation with the other parents and they are responsible for working on correcting the behavior.
I once babysat 2 boys for a mom because her baby was in the nicu for a really long time. The boys were extremely aggressive. My kids took a beating every time they were around them. Luckily I didn’t have to tell her I couldn’t help her anymore because her baby was able to come home but it was getting to a point that I needed to consider my kid’s safety and well being above her need for childcare. I had to spend a lot of time correcting my kids behavior after that. Behavior they never had before being around those 2 boys.
@cherrystorming I really liked Amazon for a couple reasons. One was that it was really easy for family and friends out of town to order things and send. The other is that you get a 15 or 20% completion discount about a month before your due date so you can get items on the registry for yourself at a discounted price.
I was laid off from my job of 10 years (tech industry) late Fall, and found out I was pregnant in December. I’ve been steadily job searching and interviewing since, but nothing has really materialized. I’m finding it more difficult to power through the stress and exhaustion, and as I get closer to my due date in august, at starting to wonder if it might be better to hold off on a new job until post baby.
At that point though, I would have been out of the market for almost 1-1.5 years. Has anyone else been faced with a similar dilemma? What was your approach and thought process?
@gingermama29 I used Babylist last time and this time. It provides different avenues to buy stuff, so if you add something and it’s available at Amazon, Buy Buy Baby, and Target, it will give your friends and family the option to buy from any of those places and list the prices. My dislike is that it’s kind of an extra step for them to mark something as purchased so sometimes I would have to go in and manually update it myself.
@christinemc1104 I unintentionally just went through this. I was job searching and put in a bunch of applications. I found out I was pregnant, and then started getting contacted for interviews. I ended up taking one of the jobs bc it was a great opportunity, but I waited until the offer stage to tell them I was pregnant. I consulted with a friend that was a lawyer and she gave me some really good advice. I don’t think we should necessarily put our careers on hold just bc we’re the ones who have children. I personally wanted to make sure I would at least be there long enough to train before I went out on leave (I’ll be here 5 months before I go out). I would also just keep in mind FMLA (we don’t qualify) and learn the companies policies on leave since we don’t have that job protection. I asked as many questions as they would answer to the benefits dept before I accepted.
@cherrystorming I did my registry on Amazon. Just easier for me and everyone. Their shippings and returns are just so easy, plus like gingermama29 said, you get the 15% off completion discount. I went crazy and added EVERYTHING just so I can get the discount.
I wanted to have the ftm experience of going in store so I went to buybuybaby and was so excited to use the gun to shop!! But I had a really bad experience and the don’t give you the gun to scan anymore and they don’t give you the freebies and the tote with all the goodies(I remember going with sisters years before when they were preggers) and the staff was just rude and looked at me like I was an idiot and told me everything is done through the app and I scan through my phone. So Amazon is my go to.
@christinemc1104 this happened to me. I was in real estate law working in the banking dept. with interest rates going up and less people refinancing I suffered the cut! A few days later I was ovulating and been trying and then two weeks later found out I was pregnant. Been unemployed ever since. Definitely felt the physical tiredness and give soooo much credit to the moms to be who are working!
I wanted to look for a job during this time but then weighing out the options, I would start a job, and maybe not get maternity leave due to the time I’ve been employed. My insurance might not cover a lot of my bills if i get insurance from my next job and right now I was able to get Medicaid since I am not married right now or working. Medicaid would cover everything for me. Plus I was pretty stressed at my job so I blame a part of that for me not getting pregnant. I would sometimes go a full month extra missing my period due to stress.
If you are able to get support and some savings then it’ll help you. I’m able to have tons of hand me downs as well from family and friends. My SO is paying the majority of our rent and as for me I’m not terribly stressed and my baby so far is coming along with no complications
@msjaay I had a friend use baby list and wondered about how many people actually makes things as purchased. Is there a way to see that it was purchased? I’m guessing you have to wait until you receive anything to know right? She got some doubles at her baby shower which is what made me wonder that.
@cherrystorming I have one going with Amazon and one with Target - both have decent completion discounts, and welcome boxes. I don't know what's in the Target bag this time around, but last time if you went in to a Target and told them at customer service that you had a registry there, they gave you a bag with some actually decent stuff in it (I think an Avent bottle, a paci, some sample diapers and wipes that work great for diaper bags, stuff like that). I actually went to two different Targets and got the bag twice. I want to say Walmart had a good box last time too but don't know yet this time.
@msjaay sorry to hear you went through that too but great to hear you landed somewhere you love! I know it’s a personal preference, but I didn’t want to have to put my career on hold either. Did you find it challenging to retain information when you returned from maternity?
@lmn823 sorry to hear you went through this as well! I’m fortunate that I have support should I decide not to go back temporarily, but do worry about being “out of the game” for that long as the marketing field is moving so quickly. However, like you mentioned I’m finding the stress is likely not super healthy either while I’m searching!
So glad to hear you and baby are progressing without complications. Hope you both continue to stay well!
Agree that Amazon is the easiest/best. For our first child we did Amazon and then also Pottery Barn Kids at my MIL's insistence. Personally I find Babylist super annoying on the buyers' end. Also more confusing for older relatives. I didn't even think of Target but that's a great idea!
I actually just created a quick Walmart registry with some super basic things I know we'll buy there anyway (diapers, wipes, bottle brushes, random little things like that) and requested the welcome box. Should be here in a few weeks, apparently, so I'll post what's in it then!
I agree @priyadoc that baby list isn’t great for the buyer. I used it last time and started another one this time, but based on all of what you’ve said maybe I’ll switch to Amazon.
@msjaay thanks for sharing that about your job search. I had a friend in my last bump group who got a new job and told them in the offer stage that she’d need “medical leave” on X date, implying it was a surgery/something general, which I thought was smart. But there are laws to protect us from discrimination!!
@christinemc1104 I’m so sorry you were impacted by layoffs and hope that you find a good fit. What sort of job are you looking for in tech?
Any other STMs feeling like if you started pumping today you’d make a full bottle? Honestly I’m alarmed at how full my breasts feel and am worried I’ll start leaking soon. Since I had an under supply last time and so many issues nursing I’m kind of tempted to start pumping around 37 weeks to build up a supply. Is that crazy?
@ccmrc143 cannot say I relate on the fullness and this is my third. But I had a ton of issues with my first and milk supply being delayed and always seemingly “low”. Anyways, with my second I had no supply issues what so ever. We were good from the start.
@ccmrc143 (edited this first part for clarity, emeraldcity phrased it better than I did)
however!! We actually recommend to a lot of moms to start passively collecting the leaking colostrum around then (with provider approval. We teach hand expression mostly in this stage but I know some people do pump. I’d just talk to your provider and see what they recommend for you!). You can have some syringes/containers of breast milk then which can be used to supplement baby if needed (ex. Low blood sugar, latch difficulties, jaundice). Not a must obviously but some people really like the idea of having that breast milk available instead of using formula to supplement.
Just what we personally recommend to our OB patients at my hospital!
@novelblessings I’m sorry you also struggled with supply but glad to hear it was better with your second! @cherrystorming that’s really helpful! And yes I can definitely see how oversupply would be a HUGE problem so I don’t want that to happen. Good to know about the colostrum collection. We used donor milk during our whole hospital stay, and then went to formula when we went home and my milk didn’t come in until 10 days postpartum 😭 So to potentially be on the other side of it this time with some colostrum at the ready before birth…it honestly makes me so emotional. It would be bittersweet I think and bring back some of the bad memories of what I see as my “failure” last time (I know it’s not!! But I just think if someone had been REALLY up front with me before birth about the realities of nursing or if I’d know that I could start pumping before labor, it might have gone differently). I’m getting ahead of myself 😂
@ccmrc143 you will just be pumping colostrum. Your body won’t start producing actual milk until the placenta is expelled from the body. It will also send you into labor early.
@ccmrc143 My friends main job advice was that they could really find some reason not to offer it to me if they knew I was pregnant, so she recommended telling either after an offer was extended or even after onboarding.
And yes to the fullness! My chest size stayed relatively the same during my first pregnancy but has noticeably grown this time. I remember my lactation consultant saying that you only add more and more milk ducts with each pregnancy, so that makes sense!
@christinemc1104 TBD lol. I remember with my first I felt brain dead for a long time after I came back to work and I had been at that job for 16 years and could do it with my eyes closed. I’m sure this will be more of a challenge but I’m just throwing myself into learning as much as possible and taking really good notes.
Thank you ladies for your responses on vacation! Enjoy 😉
@ccmrc143 I’m sorry your son has had to go through that! I have no experience with this but my son has been bullied by his cousin and it makes me so upset all I can do is comfort my son and remove him from the situation. I think what the other moms said to do sounds great, and if you don’t have to have him in that daycare then by all means switch if that will make him safer and you at peace.
As far as baby registry discussion goes, I used Amazon for my first son and will be using it again for this baby boy. It was so easy and I KNOW everyone knows how to use Amazon LOL, so no confusion or extra work.
Re: Questions Mega Thread
I once had a student that would try to push children’s heads into gates and throw chairs at children at 2 years old, it started just as shoving regularly. I’d have a serious talk with the parents, that’s what I would do with this behavior at a center. You can try and help the nanny come up with good intervention strategies to be able to stop the behaviors before they happen especially if there is a trigger that can be identified.
Which sites did you use/like/wish you had used? All the options are overwhelming me already lol.
I was laid off from my job of 10 years (tech industry) late Fall, and found out I was pregnant in December. I’ve been steadily job searching and interviewing since, but nothing has really materialized. I’m finding it more difficult to power through the stress and exhaustion, and as I get closer to my due date in august, at starting to wonder if it might be better to hold off on a new job until post baby.
stuff, so if you add something and it’s available at Amazon, Buy Buy Baby, and Target, it will give your friends and family the option to buy from any of those places and list the prices. My dislike is that it’s kind of an extra step for them to mark something as purchased so sometimes I would have to go in and manually update it myself.
So glad to hear you and baby are progressing without complications. Hope you both continue to stay well!
Personally I find Babylist super annoying on the buyers' end. Also more confusing for older relatives. I didn't even think of Target but that's a great idea!
however!! We actually recommend to a lot of moms to start passively collecting the leaking colostrum around then (with provider approval. We teach hand expression mostly in this stage but I know some people do pump. I’d just talk to your provider and see what they recommend for you!). You can have some syringes/containers of breast milk then which can be used to supplement baby if needed (ex. Low blood sugar, latch difficulties, jaundice). Not a must obviously but some people really like the idea of having that breast milk available instead of using formula to supplement.
@cherrystorming that’s really helpful! And yes I can definitely see how oversupply would be a HUGE problem so I don’t want that to happen. Good to know about the colostrum collection. We used donor milk during our whole hospital stay, and then went to formula when we went home and my milk didn’t come in until 10 days postpartum 😭 So to potentially be on the other side of it this time with some colostrum at the ready before birth…it honestly makes me so emotional. It would be bittersweet I think and bring back some of the bad memories of what I see as my “failure” last time (I know it’s not!! But I just think if someone had been REALLY up front with me before birth about the realities of nursing or if I’d know that I could start pumping before labor, it might have gone differently). I’m getting ahead of myself 😂
@ccmrc143 I’m sorry your son has had to go through that! I have no experience with this but my son has been bullied by his cousin and it makes me so upset all I can do is comfort my son and remove him from the situation. I think what the other moms said to do sounds great, and if you don’t have to have him in that daycare then by all means switch if that will make him safer and you at peace.