@mrskoehl I delivered my son at a hospital with a NICU by choice in case anything were to go wrong, it brought me comfort. I also did the epidural by choice as I wanted to get as much rest as possible knowing that once baby arrived I would have zero rest. I loved my experience with the hospital setting as it brought me comfort knowing that if something went wrong I or baby would get immediate help. I know unmedicated birth is 100% possible even in a hospital setting as I’ve heard of great stories. So don’t worry you can still achieve that as long as you prepare, well that is what I hear
@mrskoehl an unmedicated birth in a hospital can be done. I did with my son, but I did end up with an episiotomy. Tips to avoid that- get plenty of rest as much as you can in early labor and eat if they’ll let you, for strength. I was on day 3 of basically no sleep when my son was born.
Have a strong birth team. Get a doula if you can. It was just me and my SO and luckily we had a supportive nurse team. I’ve heard stories that nurses can offer epidurals and things too often in an attempt to be helpful. Mine never asked or pushed them. It would help to take a birth class too, especially if you don’t have a birthing partner like a doula. Then you can learn labor positions and techniques. I did not do that, but probably should have, in hindsight. Good luck!
@mrskoehl I have had 3 unmedicated hospital births. They have gone smoothly except for a few weird things. With my first unmedicated birth it was so fast and I was stuck on a bunch of monitors so it was hard for me to relax and it ended up being very painful. I feel bad for any FTM that may have heard me screaming.
My second unmedicated birth went so smooth. They left me in triage because all the moms who wanted epidurals kept getting pushed ahead of me for rooms. Plus it was one of the least painful births and every time they came in to check on me I looked like I was sleeping. Then I hit transition. My husband gloved up because they started frantically moving me to a room and he was scared I was going to deliver in the hallway. The only hiccup I had was when the nurse was cleaning me up at the end. She apparently forgot I didn’t have an epidural and she poured ice cold water all over. I was livid and kicked her out of my room.
The last one went smoothly too. No complications and they really waited for me to get ready to push and it was extremely laid back.
I really think it depends on the nursing staff and the OB on how things will go. Are they going to push interventions if you aren’t progressing as fast as they want you to? You just need to be able to advocate for yourself. My husband is the best birthing partner and he is literally there with me the entire time, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I highly recommend someone like that to be with you. Also, find a method and practice relaxation techniques. It really helps to be able to fully relax. Your body works in your favor when you are relaxed. That’s why some women dilate faster once they get the epidural.
@mrskoehl I didn’t have a fully I medicated birth, I could have but I was 9cm when they gave me an epidural, long story lol.
It is possible to give birth in the hospital without being medicated and without intervention but you’re going to have to have to prep a little more. Research and decide what’s a yes in labor and what’s a no. Have it written out and make sure your support team knows what you want and will be ready to advocate for you. Some hospitals and some OB’s are more respectful of your choices than others so it’s important you have someone to advocate for you, I recommend finding a doula to help with that. I would also recommend discussing your wants with the OB prior to labor so you have an idea on how the OB responds to your wants. This allows you to see if that OB is a good fit for your delivery or if you need to find a new one.
worst case scenario just remember you can fire OB’s and nurses from caring for you at any time, they work for you not the other way around. Research and advocating are the two big things to focus on.
@mrskoehl I went into birth with my first with the mindset of, lets do whatever is working and helping things progress. Everything I had read (and was told) was that moving around, squatting, being vertical, etc. was going to work, but in the end the only time I was dilating was when they gave me pain medicine and I was horizontal and sleeping haha, which makes sense looking back. All of that to say, there was nothing about being in a hospital setting that would've prevented me from having an unmedicated birth (except maybe you allow it to be an option in that setting and there isn't one without an anesthesiologist!). The nurses were very supportive and welcoming of my doula and whatever my choices were. I would just ask your OB lots of questions and I would highly suggest a doula. My husband is wonderfully supportive, but he was doing this for the first time as well, so the doula really allowed him to be even more supportive by telling him things he could do. He actually really liked that and is advocating for a doula this time (which I'm totally good with) because it helped him feel purposeful.
Definitely agree with what others have said. Make a birth “wish list” and print it out and bring it with you to the hospital. You can find templates online. Give it to the nurse who checks you in and ask how they might pass along your wishes to the rest of the staff. I went in with a doula and a wish to stay unmedicated. No one on staff pressured me because they knew what I wanted. However i went into back labor, and that changed everything. My doula, the hippiest crunchiest lady on the planet, ended up saying to me that I could allow myself to have the epidural and to think about it. I am so glad I did because as @msjaay said, all the maneuvers in the world kept me at 9cm for 4+ hours until finally I got the epidural and relaxed enough to dilate to 10 and push.
This time around, I want to try unmediated again with the hope that I won’t experience back labor. My thought is that if I don’t experience that level of pain again, I can handle unmedicated. But since I already had one epidural I’m not as against it as I was with my first. It really saved me after experiencing almost every part of labor without it. So my tip to everyone is to give yourself some grace. You can plan but you can’t know how things will go ahead of time. I highly recommend a doula to help coach you through the decisions!
Are STMs registering for anything? I don’t really want anything. But people will send stuff so if they’re going to do that I’d rather them get what I want. What’s the proper etiquette?
@ccmrc143 for my first I did a registry and very few people actually purchased the things I asked for 😂😂😂 I got a lot of things I didn’t need or want so I ended up donating most of it sadly.
But I’ll still try again this time around with a registry but won’t start it until I’m 6 months not even thinking of what I need just trying to survive for now. just make one and hopefully your friends and family stick to it
@ccmrc143 I started an Amazon registry both to get my brain organized for what I need this time around and for the completion discount. I don’t really anticipate anyone buying anything off of it so it’s currently private. I think if anyone asks, I’ll make it accessible but I got a lot of things with my first and saved most of it.
@ccmrc143 I have a registry started, my sister is throwing me another shower because there is an 8yr gap between DS and baby. I got pretty much everything off my registry with my first so I’m expecting a similar result which will be helpful since what we need are the bigger expensive things
I make a registry every time. Simply for the discount. I have always had a few things I needed with each baby. Or found a new baby item I wanted to try.
@ccmrc143 I actually started one on BabyList this week. I already used the discount at another place to get a travel stroller for my daughter lol. I have a few friends who want to throw a sprinkle and some family asking for gifts. It's keeping me organized if nothing else.
@ccmrc143 our births sound very similar! My doula said it can be very common to have a hard time dilating unmedicated, especially if you have a tight pelvic floor. I think I'm going in with the same mindset this time as well. I feel like if just the length of time is anything less than days, it will be manageable lol. Mine started wearing off by the time I was pushing anyway, which kind of frustrated me because they wouldn't let me move around, but I wasn't getting the pain relief that I wanted either. In the end, it did the job to help my labor progress though, which is what matters.
@lmn823 yep. I’m 13 weeks and this is my third though. I really popped at 15 weeks last time. It’s becoming increasingly harder to hide this growing belly at work.
@lmn823 and @tumbleweed-1 thanks! That’s what I was thinking but my anxiety was getting the better of me as usual.
Lmn823, I’m definitely noticing that my clothes don’t fit (I’ve only gained a couple pounds since finding out I’m pregnant) so I’m thinking I’m showing a bit. I’m also plus size so I know a lot is my pre-existing fluff.
@gingermama29 I just checked the Gospel According to Emily Oster (Expecting Better) -- the main concern with sushi is salmonella and campylobacter, both of which suck but are no worse or worrisome during pregnancy than not. Further, there's a difference between sushi when it's fresh and available (good luck telling folks in Japan to lay off) and sushi that's been sitting around for hours. Also, mercury can be a concern, depending on the type of fish, and that's legit. But if you want it, maybe steer clear of tuna and shark (is that even a thing? I cannot do raw fish, personally, but that has nothing to do with being pregnant and much more to do with living in landlocked Nebraska where fresh fish costs roughly the same as my mortgage) and enjoy!
I enjoy sushi while pregnant. I stick to the restaurants I frequent regularly though and no grocery store sushi. Living in Alaska means it’s fresh but it’s also high in mercury here. So I try to limit it even when I’m not pregnant.
As for showing, yeah, I’m very obviously pregnant. I have lost weight and have a noticeable bump. At this point it’s actually do some to the baby being closer to 13 weeks.
@lmn823 you can definitely notice a bump if I have on tight clothes. I'm right at 16 weeks. It's so weird. I was closer to 25-30 weeks before I got a noticeable bump with my first. I don't mind it, but it's just so funny how everyone and each pregnancy is different. It definitely feels more hard and baby-like (lol) in the past week or so. I actually like it because I felt like by the time I was showing with my daughter, I didn't get to enjoy it long before she was here!
I’m showing too and I read that you show earlier once you’re a S+TM. I told my husband last night that I’m going to try to hide my tummy for as a long as possible from my extended family (aunts and cousins) and wait until they say something, so I’m hoping I can hide it until 17 weeks because right now my tummy is still small, it just looks like I’m bloated. Hehehe I find hiding it and keeping this to myself fun.
I told my parents and sister this past Monday and it just felt so good to finally tell them 🙏🏻
I’m so annoyed with my OB clinic. I’ve had on and off cramping with brown discharge for 2-3 weeks now and I have this major fear of having an incompetent cervix (no history of it but prolonged vaginal birth with first) so I wanted the OB to check my cervix at my last visit and she stated it wasn’t necessary and then this week I tell them I continue with the same symptoms and the NP advised me to go to the ER to get my cervix checked -_- like what’s so hard about doing a transvaginal ultrasound and cervical check in your freaken OB office!?
😤
any of you ladies ever gone to the ER and gotten a cervical check and a transvaginal ultrasound to check cervical length?
@slothstatus I wouldn’t go to the ER for that. Their equipment isn’t as good and they aren’t trained to do the things an OB is. Can they do them? Yes, but it likely won’t be as accurate as an OB. I would see about seeing a different OB in the practice if that’s available.
@emeraldcity603 Unfortunately the clinic only has two OBs and one NP and one of the OBs seems to never be there, the other one (whom didn’t want to perform a cervical check) is only there three times a month and the NP also didn’t want to perform a cervical check. If I were to try to switch practices who knows how long it would take to get an appointment. That’s why I was thinking of going to the ER. The brown discharge was heavy last night and I’m feeling pelvic pressure.
@slothstatus did the NP who advised going to the ER tell you why they wouldn't do it in office? I mean, if it's like a "this is serious, GO NOW" thing (because it's a Friday night and they don't have someone in the OB office to check at the moment) I'd go, but if it's a "yeah, it isn't necessary and we can't bill for it so if you're still set on having it done, the ER is pretty much your best bet" I wouldn't bother. And if that was the case, it might be worth asking yourself how tied you are to the OB practice -- if you don't feel you're being heard (or at least having the answer to your concerns explained in a way that makes sense) they might not be the best fit for the rest of your pregnancy.
@ki1244 Well at my last visit the doctor said it wasn’t necessary granted my brown discharge at the time wasn’t as frequent. Then today I went to submit more urine and informed the staff to let the NP or OB (whoever was in office) know of my symptoms continuing and the NP stated to just abstain from intercourse (which I have been doing) and wait for my next appointment on the 27th and if it gets worse to go to the ER, the cramping has gotten worse I’m currently laying down with a heat pad on low and trying to chug water. No brown discharge at the moment. I know I didn’t advocate enough for myself at the OB office but yes I do not feel I am being heard at this office and I will most likely switch after my next appointment.
I wouldn’t wait I would just go ahead and switch. Sounds like they aren’t taking you serious. Brown blood is the best kind of blood to have during pregnancy. It’s all old blood. Have they mentioned a SCH? It’s weird to be going this long with spotting and they not investigate it. That would be a red flag for that provider. If they are like this now what if they ignore more serious things that could come up in the end of pregnancy. Where are you located? Canada?
@emeraldcity603 Yes the fact that it’s brown has made me not be too worried. No they didn’t mention SCH. Yes you’re right, I need to research what other OB in my area accepts my insurance. I’m in California but in a smaller town with not great options for OBs at least from what the reviews say online
I’ll be 15w tomorrow and am a STM. I was feeling flutters and today I’ve felt nothing. I know it’s too early to be “counting” but I’m nervous. Do other STM+ moms pay attention to flutters this early on? Should I go in for a Doppler?
Not a question just a concern. Was diagnosed with complete placenta previa at the ER on Saturday. I’m 14 weeks 3 days and currently at my OB appointment for a follow up and the RN just said it likely won’t move since it’s already being diagnosed as complete. ☹️
@slothstatus I’m sorry they gave you that information. You are way too early on for this to be a concern. Your placenta will very likely move out of the way of your cervix between now and delivery. But I had the exact same scare when I was 16w. One Ob told me to prepare for c-section at 35 weeks and to basically be on bed rest. It’s simply not true. Placenta previa is a concern in the third trimester but until then I don’t think it is. Maybe ask you OB what you need to change / do to make sure everything stays safe for the next few months?
@ccmrc143 I don’t do counts until much later. I have an anterior placenta and flutters are few and far between. I haven’t felt anything in almost a week. I checked the HB the other day and baby is fine. You may want to get a doppler if it will give you peace of mind.
@slothstatus That explains your bleeding. I wouldn’t count yourself out for it moving. It’s still super early. The placenta moves up as baby grows.
I’m incredibly congested every night when I am getting ready to lay down! I have been propping myself up and it’s so uncomfortable I can’t get into a deep sleep, just been feeling restless. I guess it’s a common pregnancy symptom with the extra blood pumping but does anyone have any ideas on how to help this? I’m going to try Flonase tonight but I’m really just tired of not breathing at night.
I am usually not the anxious type, BUT having never experienced pregnancy before I am not sure what's typical and what's not. I've been having these throbbing headaches (they feel like my heartbeat) for a couple of weeks, nearly every day, especially with some activity, sometimes even while laying down. I thought "headaches during pregnancy are normal" but these types of headaches concern me a bit. As far as I know I have no sign or risk factors for preeclampsia, but of course the google machine has led me to be concerned about it. I'm not sure if I should call my doctor about the symptoms or wait until my next appointment in a couple of weeks. Anybody else experience this or have advice?
Re: Questions Mega Thread
worst case scenario just remember you can fire OB’s and nurses from caring for you at any time, they work for you not the other way around. Research and advocating are the two big things to focus on.
just make one and hopefully your friends and family stick to it
any of you ladies ever gone to the ER and gotten a cervical check and a transvaginal ultrasound to check cervical length?