Random question are labor buddies still a thing? In D13 we paired off (or were paired off) with someone due at the opposite end of the month than us so they could update the group when baby was born or how labor was going etc.?
I hadn’t heard of this, it’s an interesting idea. As we’re a society glued to our phones I think many of us will be able to post pretty quickly. I know I did when DD was born.
Continuing an earlier convo I was having in group 2 check-in with @queenklau here in case anyone else is interested. I just tried belly binding with a ring sling for the first time and it’s been a relief this evening.
@mamaj1220@lajoliedreamer we had labor buddies in my previous BMB (even though we were on facebook by then). It came in especially handy when one of the moms ghosted during labor and we all thought something terrible had happened until her labor buddy was able to get in touch with her husband via facebook messenger. Turns out her phone had died.
@soprano19 How does your baby like your job? I just went to my University’s basketball game and they had the Pep band playing, my baby DID NOT like the sound of the tubas and horns. It felt like baby was trying to move away from the sound. Not a pleasant feeling 😅 How are everyone’s baby handling noises? On a more positive note, we got a mobile last weekend and I started to play that daily so hopefully he’ll recognize it after birth.
@drkoyya she’s actually usually pretty chill and quiet during the day when I’m teaching, so she must not mind the noise, lol. DD1 was the same way, and when she was 12 days old we brought her to marching band and I wore her and she slept through everything 😆
@mamaj1220 I think in May 2018 we discussed it and a couple people at the beginning did it, but like @catem07 said we were on facebook by then and we found it was easy to just post the birth story and/or updates ourselves.
@drkoyya I think I would let people where whatever they want and then can put the tshirt on over their clothes for the photo. That's crazy that's she dictating what people need to wear to the baby shower. And you should definitely wear a dress and not be stuck looking like everyone else, this shower is for you and you should not blend in.
@drkoyya we went to the movies last weekend and I felt like he was moving around a lot during the action scenes, it was funny. It makes sense that the loud noises would reach them in there and make them react more than usual!
@shamrocandroll Everything with puppies, finishing the house and starting to slowly move things in, have taken a toll. Thankfully things should be easing up a bit now. The software at work is starting to slowly not suck as much as they work out the bugs. Only bad things is that I've apparently hit nesting earlier in my pregnancy than ever before (for me) and I want everything deep cleaned and moved into right this second so that I have ample time to prepare LO's space. We are still debating on how to set up the girls' bedroom. One day we'll look back on this crazy stressful time and wonder why we were so worried about how things were working out.
Side bar: anyone have any experience with eliminating Red Dye 40 from their preschooler's diet and it helping with behavior/extreme emotional outbursts? Most other methods have been tried. We've eliminated it at home, but not sure about school, etc.
Anyone feel like after surviving the 4 years of January that a) February has flown by and b) now I feel uncomfortable pregnant? Just me?
@drkoyya I notice that every night when I lay down with DD1 and start singing to her this baby will start kicking. Is that her way of protesting my singing voice? haha
@TattoosandLace Our pediatrician growing up had my parents eliminate red dye from my brothers diet when his 3rd grade teacher said he needed to be medicated. They didn't believe in medicating him and the Dr said to try that first. This was 25 years ago, and my brother never ended up on medication so I'm assuming it worked.
@jhysmath I remember my younger sister had to have red 40 eliminated but that was because she broke out in hives whenever she ate it. If diet will change behavior and we don't have to medicate, that would be ideal. (Coming from the daughter of a nurse who is 100% pro-medicine, just for clarity). We managed to get her birthday cake completely artificial dye free and switched out all our medicines to dye-free meds. Crazy to think that it's sneaking into things like tylenol and motrin.
@TattoosandLace my coworker I share a classroom with has an allergy to it as well. He is new to this diagnosis and didn't realize it's in so many of the foods he eats.
@jhysmath So far, we've been alright at finding things that we can switch out... except Dr. Pepper... she's been getting Coke on treat days (like pizza party at school, etc) instead of Dr Pepper and hasn't noticed a difference yet... not sure how long that will hold out for.
@TattoosandLace A coworker of mine has a 7 year old son with ASD. He's high functioning, but prone to outbursts and aggression. They eliminated red 40 completely from his diet a few years ago and believe it has made a difference.
@ruby696 my undergrad background is psych and ed. We had been questioning if we needed to start talking about the potential for a spectrum disorder (with our doctor), DH wanted to try eliminating it first to see if that made any difference. If it doesn't, we will probably chat with the doctor about what direction to take next. Her behavior/outbursts and aggression just are not an appropriate amount for a 4 (now 5) year old. I'm glad that's made a difference for your coworker's son! That's reassuring!
@TattoosandLace First, I have no experience with ASD other than what friends have told me. With that said, my coworkers son was diagnosed at 3 or 4, which I guess is super early? He's very verbal, so they really didn't want to diagnose him, but there was no denying that he had major sensory issues and was aggressive/had inappropriate outbursts. My understanding is that girls are even harder to get diagnosed young, because girls are less prone to ASD (not true, but they don't have the same, more obvious symptoms as boys), so you may get a lot of pushback. Don't back down if you feel like they're not hearing you!
@TattoosandLace January was 4 months long, so true. And I am getting antsy about nesting too, especially since I am having so many problems getting around. (For preference my pelvis never fully healed up after separating from SPD first pregnancy, and now that I'm on baby 3 I'm using a walker...).
And even though I'm the furthest behind in the group, even stuff not related to pelvis is already super ouchy. I'll be thankful for this baby arriving, and am already super thankful this is my final pregnancy.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@TattoosandLace soooo in pregnancy with trying not to drink so much caffeine and trying to drink as much water as I can, I drink a lot of seltzer. One of the things I buy is Dr. Pepper flavored seltzer. It's definitely not the same, but if you can get away with coke, you might be able to get away with this, and then you aren't giving so much sugar or caffeine either. You'd have to give it in the can though because it's colorless!
@ruby696 thank you! Yes, it's harder to diagnose in girls.. She just turned five on the 11th. She's very verbal and always hit milestones early for her age. (walking at 7 months, full sentences before a year, just crazy stuff really). We'd like to steer clear of a diagnosis unless it's needed. If diet can help more easily than medication then our household will just have to change how we eat. I am slightly worried that since we've been really good about going through the pantry about a month ago and haven't brought anything with it in since...with Valentine's Day being today, I'm hoping she doesn't get a ton of candy that she can't have today. We don't mind candy, soda, etc occasionally...and it isn't like we are forbiding ALL candy, etc. Just that with the dye.
We really had a tough "what are we doing wrong as parents" few months lately before the red dye idea because her outbursts and aggression have been so intense and naturally we figured we were addressing things wrong. I had been digging deep in my psych and ed backgrounds to think of any other approach that we hadn't tried that might work.. we'd talk about counseling for her.. we were seriously at our wits end trying to figure out how to best help her. It makes it nice that there's a lot more awareness (for lack of better word) about artificial dyes and more things readily available that don't have them that we can just swap out.
@TattoosandLace my coworkers son is a little genius - it's amazing. His speech, reading skills, and science/math abilities are amazing. He just needs to get through school and learn tactics to control himself and someday, he's going to be a very successful adult. He does go to therapy and he does take medication, which they think helps. But it's been a long road to see this kind of improvement. He's currently at a special school because of the sensory overload (which caused him to lash out and be aggressive - so really not his fault), but they're working towards getting him integrated back into public school as he gets older. Baby steps, but he really is doing pretty well.
I forget where the insurance/hsa conversation was going on, but this is my first year with an HSA (which has been a mess) so I have a question for those that have had them in the past. I know there is an annual maximum amount I am allowed to contribute. Do you know if I am allowed to set my paycheck contributions so that I hit this maximum by the time baby is born and then don't make contributions the second half the year or does it need to be contributed evenly throughout the year? I know I will need the money for my deductibles when baby is born, I also know I will then have 12 weeks of unpaid leave so no paycheck contributions to the HSA for 12 weeks, so it would help if I can put more in now while working full time.
On the autism conversation-it's infuriating to me that so many doctors are so behind the times on this. Plenty of people are autistic and can hold conversations and speak very well. I'm one of them. But because I was "genius" level in both math and English in school my sensory and social difficulties were overlooked. I can and do converse with people plenty, but it's weird for me in many ways. I've gotten good at emulating "normal" interactions. But certain things I do and will always struggle with. A diagnosis early, when therapies (especially occupational therapy)was easier would have been awesome.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail and @TattoosandLace my undergrad is psych with a minor in ASD studies. I can tell you @pourmeanothermocktail many girls and women go with incorrect diagnosis for years still, there is a huge study in Washington just on girls and so far their brain scans have shown that the areas of the brain effected vs boys is often different so a lot of the time unless someone specializes in girls they do not recognize ASD in girls and how it presents.
@TattoosandLace if you go toward wanting to look into more I can reach out and see who is recommended at least in your state if you don't want to tell me where you are I worked at one of the top 5 programs for ASD kids in the world for a while and have good connections there. Also I have seen red dye 40 being eliminated not only help kids with outbursts but you might see an overall difference in communication as well as attention and sensory things. I had a little guy with ODD as one of his teachers at one point and they eliminated the red dye 40 and suddenly no more ODD, it is crazy to me what dyes can do to people's nervous systems!
Also what about the soda stream flavored Dr Pepper (it is a knock off) I am not sure if the dye is in there but might be worth a look if she starts noticing and wants Dr Pepper again.
@TattoosandLace I really hope the red 40 elimination helps! My mom always said it made us hyper as kids and she would not buy stuff with red 40 in it. It stuns me that there can be such adverse effects of an ingredient and it’s totally legal for that to be in so many kid targeted foods.
My heart goes out to any mommas dealing with ASD, I cannot even begin to imagine how challenging that must be on top of the already hard job of parenting.
Also, it doesn’t surprise me that ASD has different presentations in girls and that our medical establishment often overlooks it because no one seems to care that things are different for girls. The same goes for heart attacks in women and many different health issues with people of color. If you are not a white man, just forget about having your experience validated and getting correct answers in a reasonable, timely manner.
Why do people just decide that they know what is best for baby and don't even ask you before doing something? DFs mom is mad at me because I said no thanks to the crib bumpers she decided I needed for my kid. 1) Ask me if we need/want something. 2) If you want to do something like that at least fucking research and see they are not recommended. Also in this I guess she won them and wanted to have some guy IDK bring them to my house, umm no I don't know him and I don't care if you have known him years I have an outside and inside kid to protect and I don't want strange people coming up to my house!
@mamaj1220 This might be a FFFC, but I got sick of arguing with family members over appropriate/needed versus not years ago. Now I let them bring over whatever the hell it is and I donate it the moment they’re gone. I literally can’t stand to argue with people, especially over things that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
However. No. Don’t send strangers to my house. I barely answer the door for people I know/deliveries as it is.
@pirateduck For my HSA, the contributions are made throughout the entire year. There is a monthly contribution maximum that matches the annual contribution maximum. I cannot set it up to make contributions only half the year. That being said, if your employer doesn't have a monthly contribution max you may get away with it. If you get a straight answer from HR is the real question...
@rox7777 the problem with her is that she gets dangerous shit that just takes up space and gets mad when we dont use it so I have to tell her ahead of time no or it becomes an even bigger issue
@rox7777 I attempt to tell my MIL no on occasion and she does what she wants anyway. So it goes directly to the donation bag, and I don't feel bad at all.
@ruby696 EXACTLY. I give her an exact list to buy from and she does whatever she wants anyways. I don’t have time for that nonsense. MH knows I hate clutter and knows I’m picky about certain things so he doesn’t bat an eye. She’s wasting her money, but I did warn her ahead of time.
Y’all. I really jinxed myself with the Dr. Pepper/Coke thing yesterday. DH decided to surprise me and the girls by taking us out to eat after feeding cattle last night. (Keep in mind our options are basically sonic around here). We ordered take out from the fancy truck atop place >D and got the girls sonic. Halfway home, DD1 takes a drink and goes “is this coke??”
DD1’s birthday was this week. MIL bought a freaking miniature mule (like the animal) for her without asking. Most things I can just phase them out or get rid of them easily but a mule??
@TattoosandLace Um, what!? Like, bought it to own, not rent? Nope. Sorry. Don't have space for a mule. I wouldn't even hesitate to rip someone a new one for that. Only parents can give live animals for gifts.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
Re: Randoms (2/1 - 2/29)
I hadn’t heard of this, it’s an interesting idea. As we’re a society glued to our phones I think many of us will be able to post pretty quickly. I know I did when DD was born.
Video link: https://vimeo.com/320788560
How are everyone’s baby handling noises? On a more positive note, we got a mobile last weekend and I started to play that daily so hopefully he’ll recognize it after birth.
FTM
BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
said we were on facebook by then and we found it was easy to just post the birth story and/or updates ourselves.
@drkoyya
I think I would let people where whatever they want and then can put the tshirt on over their clothes for the photo. That's crazy that's she dictating what people need to wear to the baby shower. And you should definitely wear a dress and not be stuck looking like everyone else, this shower is for you and you should not blend in.
FTM
BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20
Side bar: anyone have any experience with eliminating Red Dye 40 from their preschooler's diet and it helping with behavior/extreme emotional outbursts? Most other methods have been tried. We've eliminated it at home, but not sure about school, etc.
Anyone feel like after surviving the 4 years of January that a) February has flown by and b) now I feel uncomfortable pregnant? Just me?
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
And even though I'm the furthest behind in the group, even stuff not related to pelvis is already super ouchy. I'll be thankful for this baby arriving, and am already super thankful this is my final pregnancy.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I am slightly worried that since we've been really good about going through the pantry about a month ago and haven't brought anything with it in since...with Valentine's Day being today, I'm hoping she doesn't get a ton of candy that she can't have today. We don't mind candy, soda, etc occasionally...and it isn't like we are forbiding ALL candy, etc. Just that with the dye.
We really had a tough "what are we doing wrong as parents" few months lately before the red dye idea because her outbursts and aggression have been so intense and naturally we figured we were addressing things wrong. I had been digging deep in my psych and ed backgrounds to think of any other approach that we hadn't tried that might work.. we'd talk about counseling for her.. we were seriously at our wits end trying to figure out how to best help her. It makes it nice that there's a lot more awareness (for lack of better word) about artificial dyes and more things readily available that don't have them that we can just swap out.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@TattoosandLace if you go toward wanting to look into more I can reach out and see who is recommended at least in your state if you don't want to tell me where you are
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
FTM
BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
DD1’s birthday was this week. MIL bought a freaking miniature mule (like the animal) for her without asking. Most things I can just phase them out or get rid of them easily but a mule??
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020