Having a super hard time not telling people at work. This morning had long conversations with a both a colleague and my boss about prepping for a conference in Tokyo (that I can't go to...my EDD is two days after it ends).
I also had just applied for a new position/promotion that I sort of wanted (wanted more info, but figured it couldn't hurt to apply). However, now there's a lot of drama associated with it, partially because it seems like the hiring manager wants to be certain that I'm in the candidate pool but HR is being difficult (has to do with intricacies of federal competitive hiring). This has apparently turned off at least one of the other (very qualified) candidates. I wouldn't care as much except I was somewhat hesitant about the job in the first place, as it would be less technical work (which I enjoy) and my workload and hours would increase significantly. Now, with the bugaboo on its way I'm even more uncertain about handling the increased workload. The previous person who held the job has two kids, but when she left mentioned that the job did take a toll on her family life and it was one reason she moved on to a different team. Now I'm worried that I'm screwing the whole thing up, particularly if the other candidate is offended enough to not want to re-apply to a new announcement and I've (maybe?) decided I don't want the job either.
TL;DR -- by not saying anything I feel like I'm being dishonest, particularly since I'm directly involved in plans that would come to fruition in the next year. I know I shouldn't, but can't help it.
I follow pretty much none of the "avoid this food" rules. Listeria outbreaks during my previous pregnancies happened in: ice cream, lettuce, spinach, 5 types of fruit, granola, and ice cream. So....you can't really eat decent and avoid everything that may ever get contaminated.
I try to only do fish once per week, as I know heavy metals can build up, and I only do raw fish from really specific trusted sources. And I don't drink. Well, maybe in second or third trimester I have a half glass of wine after dinner occasionally. But driving yourself crazy over food rules that women in other countries don't follow seems silly to me.
I do use my very sensitive nose to smell test.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail, I admit, I've been a little concerned about the food safety rules (or, rather, my instincts regarding food safety rules). I've always had a strong stomach and have been known to eat some questionable things (I once ate moldy pasta for about a week before I realized that was why my stomach felt a little "off"), mostly relying on a sniff/visual test. Doesn't help that you're right, listeria and salmonella are everywhere and it's hard to predict what food will be impacted next.
@akoros OK, I WOULD highly suggest avoiding moldy food or stuff that smells bad, lol! My husband does the same, but then totally complains that his stomach hurts, or he has other digestive symptoms (no specifics needed, right?) and I just wanna yell at him.
If it smells off, avoid. If it turns your stomach, avoid.
But yeah, listeria is everywhere. I feel like it happens on fresh produce more often than anything else...and you shouldn't cut that all out.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@akoros that’s tough. I don’t think you should deny yourself a great job or promotion potential because you’re pregnant but work life balance is important. I changed roles at work two months ago and just took on two huge projects. I feel a bit guilty knowing I will all going well be on extended leave from June but A girl has to look after herself.
I work a crazy job at a cut throat company BUT they also have a strong flexible working culture so I’m able to make it work as a mom. I think you need to figure out how bad it’ll be and then write up a pro con list! Also for what it’s worth- anything surrounded by drama makes me nervous in an employment setting!
Anyone here still in week 4? I'm 5 weeks on Wednesday and the days are just crawling by! My last pregnancy ended in miscarriage so I cant help but want to be further and get my first ultrasound in. Trying not to think about it all the time but it feels impossible!
@akoros I would put a lot of thought into it and make a pro con list like hayhay suggested. I was in a similar situation with ds. I ended up taking the lighter workload with less stress position and was so glad I did. Life changes dramatically when you become a parent. Even with what would have been a boring role for me baby free, I was still under water on life for awhile. It takes some time to adjust. I also knew I would want another kid sooner than later and decided advancing my home life would come before my career, at least for now.
@hayhay2501, thank you! Pro/con list sounds like a good idea. I agree, shouldn't deny myself anything just because I'm pregnant. I didn't mention it, but if my "competition" for the position gets it then I'd be a shoe-in to replace her, which is also a promotion and may be a better fit, both in terms of workload/hours and also the type of work (I'd get to stay involved with the more technical projects I enjoy). It's just a lot to think about, regardless of pregnancy.
That's great that your company has a good culture. I'm lucky, they're generally pretty great about family stuff here, that said for this particular job I think there is an expectation that you be "available" at all times. Even without a kid I was a bit nervous about my capacity for that, I start to lose patience with B.S. "emergencies" pretty easily.
@lookonthesunnyside I’m sorry for your previous loss! I hit 6 weeks today but I found out just shy of 4 weeks and time is honestly crawling. I feel like I’ve been pregnant for 2 months!! I’m trying to take day by day and stay positive but it definitely is hard. When do you get your first scan?
On a very random note- IM SEEING CHER TONIGHT AND IM SO EXCITED!!! I made H get me tickets for my bday last March and the day is finally here. Staying up past 9 will be hard but I will power through for the ultimate diva
@lookonthesunnyside, I just "graduated" to week 5 and agree, #4 took forever! I'm hoping that a lot of it was the excitement since that was the first week that I actually knew I was pregnant and the next few will go a bit faster.
Thanks @hayhay2501! Yes me too I found out before my missed period and its felt like an eternity that I've known! Congrats on hitting 6 weeks. I'll be getting 1 dating scan and I think I'm gonna hold off til 8 weeks, that way its hopefully able to see more and there will be less time in between that scan and my 12 week scan. How about you?
@pourmeanothermocktail, no moldy food, got it! (in my defense, I didn't realize the pasta was moldy, but learned that you do need to throw away any grated cheese that has some mold specks)
@lookonthesunnyside I feel you. I’m 5 weeks today and it seems like last week went soooo slow. My previous loss was at 5w2d, so I think a lot of the dragging on has just been waiting to reach that “milestone”. I’m with you that I want to just hurry up and get to the first ultrasound date though.
Brought myself home two cinnamon sugar donuts and a peanut butter cookie from the Amish bakery. Have been looking forward to eating that cookie all day when I get home. Turns out DH ate not only my cookie, which he said he didn’t want and why I only grabbed one, AND both donuts.
So, he had better be running his butt to the bakery to get more. Wtf.
@chaos-and-coffee WTF???? That's not acceptable. What a dick move! He'd better hustle his ass out for more.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@pourmeanothermocktail bless the sweet human that is my mother, she is running errands and offered to drop me off one. I already told DH under no circumstances does he touch that damn cookie.
@chaos-and-coffee my husband is totally going to do that one of these days. Doesn't matter how many times I show him what food there is to eat and try to hide the "off-limits" stuff, he unfailingly forgets and consumes the one thing I tell him not to.
@saladflambe haha ugh so jealous. All I want to eat is deli meats .. lol salami and ham and pepperoni etc I haven’t yet but I keep staring at it at home and the stores and I’m like
Thanks to you ladies I've been unable to think about anything but doughnuts all day (specifically the mini packaged ones coated in powdered sugar). Went up to buy a pack at our snackbar and all they had were....pumpkin spice
@chaos-and-coffee not the same. I'm in PA. Headed to MI this weekend to watch PSU beat another MI team (and just ignore said comment if you don't care at all about college football, lol)
And now I remember how much I suck at booking group dinners while pregnant. Every place and everything looks disgusting and sucks. 😣
I did just book a group at a hotel that has about a 250-word description of the rooms. In so few words, one of their selling points was that they have fire alarms. 😬
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@chaos-and-coffee oh it is going down! The only downside to being KU is my inability to drink this weekend. My whole extended family will be there (my cousin is a senior Spartan 😋) and we should have quite the set up.
@diagonalley same! I’m a little worried about where I’m going to pee, lol. It’s the first time we are bringing DS to a tailgate (I was massively KU with him last season!) and I’m so excited to see his little face take it all in!
Re: October Randoms
I also had just applied for a new position/promotion that I sort of wanted (wanted more info, but figured it couldn't hurt to apply). However, now there's a lot of drama associated with it, partially because it seems like the hiring manager wants to be certain that I'm in the candidate pool but HR is being difficult (has to do with intricacies of federal competitive hiring). This has apparently turned off at least one of the other (very qualified) candidates. I wouldn't care as much except I was somewhat hesitant about the job in the first place, as it would be less technical work (which I enjoy) and my workload and hours would increase significantly. Now, with the bugaboo on its way I'm even more uncertain about handling the increased workload. The previous person who held the job has two kids, but when she left mentioned that the job did take a toll on her family life and it was one reason she moved on to a different team. Now I'm worried that I'm screwing the whole thing up, particularly if the other candidate is offended enough to not want to re-apply to a new announcement and I've (maybe?) decided I don't want the job either.
TL;DR -- by not saying anything I feel like I'm being dishonest, particularly since I'm directly involved in plans that would come to fruition in the next year. I know I shouldn't, but can't help it.
I try to only do fish once per week, as I know heavy metals can build up, and I only do raw fish from really specific trusted sources. And I don't drink. Well, maybe in second or third trimester I have a half glass of wine after dinner occasionally. But driving yourself crazy over food rules that women in other countries don't follow seems silly to me.
I do use my very sensitive nose to smell test.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
If it smells off, avoid. If it turns your stomach, avoid.
But yeah, listeria is everywhere. I feel like it happens on fresh produce more often than anything else...and you shouldn't cut that all out.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I work a crazy job at a cut throat company BUT they also have a strong flexible working culture so I’m able to make it work as a mom. I think you need to figure out how bad it’ll be and then write up a pro con list! Also for what it’s worth- anything surrounded by drama makes me nervous in an employment setting!
Anyone here still in week 4? I'm 5 weeks on Wednesday and the days are just crawling by! My last pregnancy ended in miscarriage so I cant help but want to be further and get my first ultrasound in. Trying not to think about it all the time but it feels impossible!
That's great that your company has a good culture. I'm lucky, they're generally pretty great about family stuff here, that said for this particular job I think there is an expectation that you be "available" at all times. Even without a kid I was a bit nervous about my capacity for that, I start to lose patience with B.S. "emergencies" pretty easily.
@pourmeanothermocktail, no moldy food, got it! (in my defense, I didn't realize the pasta was moldy, but learned that you do need to throw away any grated cheese that has some mold specks)
Married: Oct 20, 2013
BFP 1: Aug 31, 2015
EDD 1: May 12, 2016
DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016
An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)
BFP 2: October 07, 2019
EDD 2: June 20, 2020
Eta. And fruit snacks... I can't stop with fruit snacks. Normal kind and gushes.
I get scans at 12 and 20 weeks but I’m going to pay for one at 8 week to calm my nerves ha (they’re not that expensive where i live)
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Married: Oct 20, 2013
BFP 1: Aug 31, 2015
EDD 1: May 12, 2016
DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016
An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)
BFP 2: October 07, 2019
EDD 2: June 20, 2020
@chaos-and-coffee what state are you in? I have Amish near me, too!
I did just book a group at a hotel that has about a 250-word description of the rooms. In so few words, one of their selling points was that they have fire alarms. 😬
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18