I lost like an hour of my life reading those threads yesterday! Please lie and tell me they’re both shut down, I need to get things done this afternoon! 😂
@knarlytaurus thank you for such a thoughtful response. We'd be trying to find something that could use more "project management" that's not being done already, but with my regular day job being hectic (despite my time here on TB), it probably wouldn't be a 2 person thing unless it was related to our huge conference in August I will be on maternity leave for still. It's not anything I'm going to "lose" to someone else and we didn't even get to the point of coming up with options as that would likely take a couple months. She did say maternity leave would be a great opportunity to try to offload some of the projects I'm less interested in to a potential new college grad hire to free up time for new things when I get back as we discussed some of the repeatable work that keeps me from engaging in training on new platforms we're using for metrics, etc. I was thinking she might have been reacting to how upset I was but I had my preconceived notions about her attitudes towards pregnancy/new moms in the back of my head (which was why I didn't want to lead with or even really tell her I was pregnant but I felt like I had to given the direction our conversation went). We seriously spent 2/3 of our last meeting talking about babies and pregnancy. As career focused as she is, she totally loves that stuff and we went 20 mins over our time (and I had more than regained my composure) just talking about pregnancy and babies again this time. I kept trying to direct back to work stuff but it was mostly unsuccessful - again, glad I kept it focused on work for the first 25 mins. Per @megsb615's advice (thank you, too, btw) I do think I'll try to bring it up to my boss. She could probably help me create a plan and even potentially come up with something I could start working on. The real issue is that I'll be gone during our busiest time of year so NO ONE is going to have the time to take on extra work. We'll find a contractor to cover for me which is what we did last time but it's obviously not the same and everyone on my team will have to pick up some slack. My boss was so, so, so happy/relieved when I came back last time. I think there could be the potential for starting some work on something not related to our event, though, and picking up later.
@kvh22 I haven't yet experienced, but have already seen how an upcoming absence for a few months and the rewiring of your brain cancan change work! Just when I found it I was pregnant I was preparing to put in for a reclassification of my position to a higher grade and I've put it off until I get back (should I do that? Should I still put it in now?) with all my morning sickness, too, I feel like I'm not fully present at work (and I'm not since I'm sitting here commenting on the BMB waiting to head out for prenatal yoga). I have found it difficult, but am consciously working to fully advocate for myself, so strongly support othersothers and do the same for themselves! Good luck, and be happy that you appear to have a supportive management that should hopefully not penalize you for perpetuating the human race!
@knarlytaurus It's so hard to try to figure out what you would have done otherwise and what *they* would have done (does getting passed over have to do with being pregnant?). I'm not sure what's involved in your reclassification but I'd say it depends on your environment. I'd be inclined to go for it. While I think I'm less eager to be on early and late calls, I've been pretty dedicated - we are a "get your work done" organization, not a "count hours" type of deal and I strongly believe that I am more efficient with my time. Plus I still have urgent things come up where I need to put in a couple hours after waiting for various emails after DD is in bed. It looks different but the quality is the same. Also, I got a promotion (might be what you mean by reclassificiation - same role just the next level and salary range) right before having DD. My organization truly is amazing as it took effect one week before my due date so was definitely not in process before they knew I was pregnant. Then I got that salary for my 4 months of leave as they do full pay (making up the difference that the state of CA gives you for 12 weeks, plus 6 more as well). From a compensation aspect, they're amazing, but I want to feel challenged so I'm more excited to go back to work once maternity leave is over.
Wouldn't kegels like... Push it up? Because yeah, you push out, but you squeeze up too right?
Oh and not to mention she tracks her ovulation and knew she was set to be fertile the day after she had unprotected sex 🙄 did you read her post on the loss board? I lost so many great brain cells reading that.
@eatinwatermelonseeds yes, I did, and I brought up that she thought she was safe one day prior to her FW? Silly. Bodies do weird things all the time, no matter how much tracking data you have. It's a guesstimate.
She's never wrong though, so I'm sure she'll tell me that.
So, she is not in therapy because she's so much smarter than her therapists. And she doesn't agree with their "idea of what a healthy psyche" should look like. I just. WTF. Theory--- several therapists have told her she's a fucking psycho and she fired them because she's smarter than they are.
So, she is not in therapy because she's so much smarter than her therapists. And she doesn't agree with their "idea of what a healthy psyche" should look like. I just. WTF. Theory--- several therapists have told her she's a fucking psycho and she fired them because she's smarter than they are.
She said in the loss thread that one of the ways a therapist 'violated' her was by giving her anonymous examples of other patients' issues/problems. She claimed this was unethical and she would feel violated knowing the therapist would do that. Uh...how the fuck are you supposed to have therapy without using examples?! Totally that black and white thinking, things are either 100% ethical or 100% not. No grey area to realize it's harmless and helpful to compare situations as long as there's anonymity. This is why personality disorders are so friggin hard to deal with.
Totally late on the subject but @megsb615 DS just got tubes and had his adenoids removed about a month ago. Both procedures lasted about 20 minutes. He was super fussy coming out of anesthesia but after a nap it was like nothing ever happened. He has had an ear infection since but it drained nicely and we were able to treat it with ear drops instead of oral antibiotics. Doctor said his adenoids were an infection factory. He stayed home for 2 days as a precaution so he didn’t catch any Daycare germs right after surgery. Cute picture of him waiting for surgery just bc it’s cute.
@sleepy33 I guarantee without a fucking doubt that doctors and nurses have used her as an example when teaching residents or students. I would. She's so far out there, it would be a really good lesson. I commented while having not even read the whole thing. I just fucking can't. And I don't care if I haven't actually worked as a nurse, if she can claim to be all-knowing because she has a pre-med degree, I'm totally qualifying myself as a medical professional 😂
Also side note. Does my swearing offend? I can't make promises that I never will again, but I'll sincerely try to cut back. It's the salt on my sentences, it adds flavor to really get my emotions across 😂
LOL I curse like a sailor @eatinwatermelonseeds . Is this because I said oh my dog? It's a habit I got into from my old bmb, we had several mormons who didn't care for blasphemy so I tried to be good and now I just think it's cute, also bc I'm an atheist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Oh no no I didn't see that before I posted. I'm just pretty sure I dropped the f bomb like 3 times in that last comment and was like "oh shit, maybe that's too much" 😂
Oh no no I didn't see that before I posted. I'm just pretty sure I dropped the f bomb like 3 times in that last comment and was like "oh shit, maybe that's too much" 😂
Damnit 😂 I'm bad at this. I should really stop though. I'm pretty sure my son said "I'm fucking wet" today after I spilled his hot (not hot though) chocolate on him.
Oh no no I didn't see that before I posted. I'm just pretty sure I dropped the f bomb like 3 times in that last comment and was like "oh shit, maybe that's too much" 😂
Damnit 😂 I'm bad at this. I should really stop though. I'm pretty sure my son said "I'm fucking wet" today after I spilled his hot (not hot though) chocolate on him.
I also curse like a sailor so 🤷🏻♀️. My DH and I joke that our sons first word will probably be an f-bomb especially after riding in the car with us
Okay so I stopped on page 8, commented. And didn't read further. Turns out shit got real further on and now I'm crying. I'm hugging my special needs baby so freaking tight when he gets home. What kind of sick fuck.
@eatinwatermelonseeds Yea it turned real dark real quick once she crossed that line then defended crossing that line. It went from amusing to now I'm just super heated.
ETA they deleted the entire thread. I've never seen that before?
Wow. I didn't know they do that. But the amount of bullshit in that thread was just too much. She went too far and I was literally crying, I cannot even imagine how other moms were feeling. No one needs to see that.
OP said she'd rather lose a child than have a child with Down's. Like, not elect to terminate if early screening came back positive, but actually lose an already born child.
Wow. I didn't know they do that. But the amount of bullshit in that thread was just too much. She went too far and I was literally crying, I cannot even imagine how other moms were feeling. No one needs to see that.
@DuchessOfCambridge I thought of you ♥️ I'm so sorry you, and literally anyone else had to read it. I'm so emotional over that statement and imagining anything happening to my sweet boy. Or yours. Or anyone else's miracle. I'm so sorry.
I hope she never comes back. Telling me she would rather be in my situation with my dead son than have a child with downs. So out of line.
I just wanted to pop in and say I’m sorry to those of you she offended as well about children with special needs. I feel slightly responsible for poking the bear so to speak.
@imrachellea Thank you! That’s super helpful. I’ve heard after the procedure is pretty hard on them coming off of the anesthesia. That’s amazing she’s gone so long without having a cold. For DS, it seems any time he gets a little snotty, he gets an ear infection, but he always acts ok, so we never know until his ear starts draining. It seems as though the antibiotics work for him at least. I have heard from some of our friends that once their child got tubes, it was a game changer. I hope maybe he won’t have to, but if it comes to that, we will go ahead with it.
@knarlytaurus We went to see the pediatrician today, and she said she didn’t want to jump to tubes just yet since he had a good run without having them. She suggested we see how the winter goes as far as him getting any, and to go from there. So, I guess we’ll see how things go for now. 😬
Re: Randoms 11/26
Oh and not to mention she tracks her ovulation and knew she was set to be fertile the day after she had unprotected sex 🙄 did you read her post on the loss board? I lost so many great brain cells reading that.
She's never wrong though, so I'm sure she'll tell me that.
ETA they deleted the entire thread. I've never seen that before?
and a *TW**
I hope she never comes back. Telling me she would rather be in my situation with my dead son than have a child with downs. So out of line.
I just wanted to pop in and say I’m sorry to those of you she offended as well about children with special needs. I feel slightly responsible for poking the bear so to speak.
All children’s lives matter.
@knarlytaurus We went to see the pediatrician today, and she said she didn’t want to jump to tubes just yet since he had a good run without having them. She suggested we see how the winter goes as far as him getting any, and to go from there. So, I guess we’ll see how things go for now. 😬