I cried after a terrible shift at work! I think everything hurt on my body and my feet were so swollen. By the end of the shift I was dry heaving I think from just how demanding the day was. Thank God I’m off today!
@cindler@mom2b77373 poor husbands mine today said “idk what you want from me, it’s different every day!” And I just had to cry because he’s so right 😂 between the pregnancy brain (not remembering what I’ve asked of him) and these hormones, it’s a wonder we’ll keep it together until July lol.
Hope you both had a better day today and better weekend ahead. Sorry you got more snow @cindler... that sucks big time.
@mamahmh2 waffles woke her up. She hasn't moved as much today as earlier this week, but she's kicking me right now waiting for dinner.
Youngest DS has been running a 101+ fever all day with a dry cough and sore throat if we cant get it to break I see an urgent care visit in our future.
An incredible inspirational mama on my last BMB was due on St Patty's day 2017 but ended up delivering right after Thanksgiving at 24 weeks. Her 1lb. micropremie was the same gestational age as I am now carrying. I've been following her story off and on the past 2 years via a webpage she created. Her journey has been amazing and I'm in awe of her. But man, every time I read an update the water works turn on! Good news, bad news, everything in between. My face is swollen from the sobbing! What a journey. Preemie moms are unreal.
My SIL is upset that my MIL is throwing me a shower. She cussed her own mom out over it. She won’t say anything to me but freaked to my husband and in laws. She upset bc this is my second baby and she never got one for her second. However- my daughter is 5 and from a previous marriage. So my in laws explained to her they wanted to do a shower bc their son never got this baby experience. She doesn’t care and is upset to the point of screaming at everyone. It blows me away she cannot just share in this happy occasion. I could care less if I have a shower but it’s so important to my MIL she’s so excited to do it. I’m sure more drama will be to come. Pretty similar to how it was this time last year with my wedding. My SIL just cannot handle other people being happy.
The lease on our rental is over at the end of this month, and if we stay it goes up by $100/month, so have been looking to buy a house asap. I point out a lot of (bad) things I notice in a house, but that doesn't mean they are deal breakers. If I don't say something about it, I worry that he didn't notice and it will end up being a big deal. DH thinks I'm being picky, and is tired of looking at houses. He keeps telling me "it's not a big deal" and getting frustrated, which makes me cry. It's so hard to have a constructive conversation when you're constantly bursting into tears. I hate it.
Feeling super lonely at the moment. Just moved to a city where I know no one for work. H is back in our previous city through the end of the month dealing with repairs so we can get houses on the market, and I’m not exactly tight with my new coworkers after all of a week at the new job.... so basically I have no one within 100 miles. Does not help that most of my interests involve things like sports and outdoors and drinking that I can’t really do 6 months pregnant, so most of the things I’d normally do to meet people are out. I keep trying to remind myself that we made this move for a host of reasons and that it will be better in the long run, but man, it sucks right now.
Edit: And I’m signed into the wrong account again, even though I could swear I checked before posting. Don’t have the energy to switch at the moment, but this is HooDevil0611
Second edit: Also made me cry this week - I had to take photos for my new firm’s website on my first day. They are atrocious. I wore my only suit that still kind of fits. Suits are great at hiding bumps, so I don’t look pregnant — just huge. And now I’m stuck with this terrible picture, which pops up every time I send someone an email, for who knows how long.
@hoodevil0611 I'm so sorry you're feeling lonely! Long moves are hard, especially when SO is staying behind for a while. Hang in there! It's temporary and you made the move for a reason.
@hoodevil0611 When we moved to a new state, we used meetup.com to find groups of people with similar interests. The organizer of that meet up group would set up meetings/things to do together. I followed a few groups, and found one that was regularly active with lots of people at the get togethers. It really helped me not feel lonely and find friends in the area. We also found a local bar with a weekly trivia game. I know you can't drink, but if you like games, try it out! Plus there is usually a bunch of regulars who you'll soon get to know. Even though I didn't meet anyone to be friends with outside of the bar, it felt SO GOOD going to a familiar place with a familiar group of people every week.
Because I swear to god I'm going to have to get a second job again just to be able to afford our bills and I have to cancel the yoga membership I JUST signed up for. I am so tired of stressing over money. I can't even pretend to count on our tax return anymore because who the fuck knows if we are even going to get one. One of our employers screwed up something on the W2s they sent the IRS so it seems we made $10,000 less than what I claimed and payed $1500 less in federal taxes. The IRS gave they employer until May 6th to fix it. Meanwhile we filed in January.
I'm tired, and stressed, and I want to go home. Except home is going to make me tired, and stressed and pissed off at my husband.
@indulgentgypsy *hugs* Money stress is the worst stress. I definitely know how that can become all consuming! I hope the rain clouds start to break and that you're able to get some breathing room soon!
I cried this morning after I dropped my kids off at daycare... I was sitting in the parking lot of the hair salon and I missed my kids so much already I started crying. 🤦🏼♀️😂 I guess I felt guilty for doing something for myself even though I get my hair done for free and they go to daycare every Friday anyway 😂
I was walking yesterday and fractured my foot! Didn’t roll it, didn’t trip, wasn’t walking fast... just walking. The dr said because of all the relaxin in my body and the weight gain my stance and strides are different. I’m kinda happy it happened at work so if I have to take time off it’s paid time. But I don’t want to take time off this close to maternity leave. Plus it’s been real embarrassing explaining how I got hurt. I cried so hard when I found out it was fractured. Plus walking with crutches is already hard enough without having a big belly to off throw your balance
@hakele it seems so surreal! Couldn’t sleep until I saw if they could save the facade....so many memories there including my first trip as a 10 year old walking on the roof with the gargoyles and the bell towers and falling in love with my now home.
@frenchbaby18 I couldn’t turn off the coverage until I knew. Paris is one of my favorite places on earth. I absolutely love France and Paris and my heart has been breaking all night thinking about it. I wonder how long it will take to get it back. I am imagining decades of work.
@hakele it is one of the most cities in the world and notre dame is such a part of it! All of my cathedral building knowledge comes from Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Found out I missed yet another bill. Apparently we have both an HOA AND a Civic HOA, and I paid the non mandatory and not the mandatory and they sent us a nasty letter and I'm just done. My DH is awesome with dividing chores and our kid but life stuff like car registration and bills and crap all falls into my lap and I'm just too damn tired to arrange everything and keep it straight.
After I put M to bed, I'm just gonna give myself a good cry and try to talk to DH about it once he's back this weekend. Not sure how he will help, he's notoriously forgetful, like leave the oven or stove on forgetful.
I woke up early with an awful backache so I couldn't fall back to sleep. Both girls were crying about different things. I got called out on a fb group for being "judgy", which I was, but it made me feel like a terrible person. I wanted to get some deep cleaning done today, but at this point I have no energy😫 I've been fighting tears all morning and it's not even 10 yet! Twice my 4 year old askedif I was ok, which made me feel even worse. I just want to curl up and have a good cry!!
I spilled water all over my new MacBook during a court proceeding with 6 other lawyers in the room. Took everything I had to remain professional and not just burst into tears.
M has had a meltdown every hour since he woke up at 630. He misses daddy, I get it, but literally screaming, tears, banging his little head against the ground and defying everything I ask him to do, like not pull his diaper off. I'm so done, and DHs flight is delayed a whole hour. We are supposed to do an egg hunt later today but DH sent me an email saying he's gonna be tired and jetlagged and can he not help tonight. Just fml. I'm just quietly crying where M can't see me and praying I get a break next weekend.
Oh, and also, my house is fucking clean. Despite us being sick last week and no help, and working full time and watching a toddler. It pisses me off because when DH had a week to himself while on furlough he claimed he was sick and did NOTHING. No dishes, no easy sweeping or vacuuming. It wasnt like I asked him to deep clean. So I'm also angry crying while I clean because it won't get done if I don't. And I know DH is gonna whine that I burned myself out.
I work with my mom, which is great and I love it. We were talking about
my baby shower which I was sort of left to plan, but now she thinks she
wants to plan it and I have in my mind how I want it to be and she isn't
listening to me. She just keeps telling me I have no say in it. So of
course I got mad and sat at my desk and cried. I don't want to play
games at the shower, she tells me, its not what you want to do. Then WTF
is the shower about, if its not what I want to do??
um, the shower should be about you and what you want to do. I would not want to play stupid games either. I do however want a ridiculous cake - one of the belly or sperm ones
Kick count freak out from last night has continued to today. I got my 10 kicks last night after I had some juice. Today, though, she doesn't seem to be as active as she usually is. REALLY trying not to get into hormonal crisis mode, but I'm struggling. I called my Dr. and he gave me the usual answer of since I got my counts and have felt her off and on, it's probably ok, but I can come in if I feel I need to. I'm set to go out of town for a seminar in 30 minutes and cannot let go of my worry. I feel her, I do, but it just feels different. I can't explain it so I'm probably making it up in my head. I hate being so hormonal and emotional. It makes me feel crazy.
@cindler totally not trying to diminish your feelings but I had something similar a couple of weeks ago. As luck would have it it happened the same day I had a turkey sandwich for lunch and all of the sudden baby wasn't moving like normal at night (when she's typically SUPER active). It had me totally freaked out and a little convinced that I had made a terrible mistake with that turkey sandwich. Her movement ended up picking back up again though so I guess she was just having a chill day. Also thought I should mention that someone told me recently (I'm a FTM so I didn't know this) that around the third trimester their movement starts to feel different since they have less room to move around in your uterus.
@cindler counts will slow and kicks will feel different as she runs out of room to move around. That being said, mama, if you are freaking out, go. Fuck it. Just go, and feel better. There is no reason to stress if you don't have to.
@msimi@indulgentgypsy thank you for the reassurances. DH talked me off the ledge this afternoon. I decided to go to the seminar and just pay attention. She was moving around for the first hour or so of the drive, but calmed down again. Since I can still feel her now and then, I decided to wait it out. The worry is still there, but I'm trying to be rational. Trying...
@cindler I think this is one of those times you do not have to be rational. If you are that upset, there is no reason to stay in that state. Go to your doctor today if you mental/emotional state has not improved.
Re: Why My Pregnant Self is Crying
Hope you both had a better day today and better weekend ahead. Sorry you got more snow @cindler... that sucks big time.
Youngest DS has been running a 101+ fever all day with a dry cough and sore throat
*****************************************
An incredible inspirational mama on my last BMB was due on St Patty's day 2017 but ended up delivering right after Thanksgiving at 24 weeks. Her 1lb. micropremie was the same gestational age as I am now carrying. I've been following her story off and on the past 2 years via a webpage she created. Her journey has been amazing and I'm in awe of her. But man, every time I read an update the water works turn on! Good news, bad news, everything in between. My face is swollen from the sobbing! What a journey. Preemie moms are unreal.
I point out a lot of (bad) things I notice in a house, but that doesn't mean they are deal breakers. If I don't say something about it, I worry that he didn't notice and it will end up being a big deal. DH thinks I'm being picky, and is tired of looking at houses. He keeps telling me "it's not a big deal" and getting frustrated, which makes me cry.
It's so hard to have a constructive conversation when you're constantly bursting into tears. I hate it.
Edit: And I’m signed into the wrong account again, even though I could swear I checked before posting. Don’t have the energy to switch at the moment, but this is HooDevil0611
Second edit: Also made me cry this week - I had to take photos for my new firm’s website on my first day. They are atrocious. I wore my only suit that still kind of fits. Suits are great at hiding bumps, so I don’t look pregnant — just huge. And now I’m stuck with this terrible picture, which pops up every time I send someone an email, for who knows how long.
We also found a local bar with a weekly trivia game. I know you can't drink, but if you like games, try it out! Plus there is usually a bunch of regulars who you'll soon get to know. Even though I didn't meet anyone to be friends with outside of the bar, it felt SO GOOD going to a familiar place with a familiar group of people every week.
I'm tired, and stressed, and I want to go home. Except home is going to make me tired, and stressed and pissed off at my husband.
I wonder how long it will take to get it back. I am imagining decades of work.
After I put M to bed, I'm just gonna give myself a good cry and try to talk to DH about it once he's back this weekend. Not sure how he will help, he's notoriously forgetful, like leave the oven or stove on forgetful.
I'm defeated.
Oh, and also, my house is fucking clean. Despite us being sick last week and no help, and working full time and watching a toddler. It pisses me off because when DH had a week to himself while on furlough he claimed he was sick and did NOTHING. No dishes, no easy sweeping or vacuuming. It wasnt like I asked him to deep clean. So I'm also angry crying while I clean because it won't get done if I don't. And I know DH is gonna whine that I burned myself out.