@leylea89 my heart goes out to your sister, I know how it goes.
So my payroll department just called me and told me I was not supposed to get paid in August last year, that teachers don't get paid until September in this district (most fucked up thing I have ever heard. Teachers are just supposed to work for literally 2 months into the year without pay - I would have gone from May to October without any pay, as it was I went from May to September with no pay except for the waitress job I managed to pick up last minute).
The only way to fix the payroll screw up is to either not pay me at all in August, or to reduce my paycheck for the next 4 checks I receive. Meaning that just when I need it most my check will be reduced by $1200 a month. We're already on the edge of having any money, and now it is getting reduced. I feel like now I have no choice but to try and get a part time job immediately for the summer or immediately after this little one is born. I was looking forward to being able to actually have something of a maternity leave this time around. I guess like a baby shower it is just one of those things that is never going to happen for me.
@indulgentgypsy that sucks so bad, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that, especially for their screw up. If I lived anywhere close, I’d throw you a shower for sure. You deserve one. Hugs mama.
@leylea89 I'm saying a prayer for your sister right now. I don't even know what else to say other than my heart is breaking for yall right now. I'm so sorry.
@leylea89 I am so sorry for your sister, and sending prayers and hugs for the whole family.
@indulgentgypsy Is there any way to get them to stay that was their mistake and not yours, thus you don't need to repay? We were in this situation in 2017 - the payroll agency gave DH a raise he wasn't supposed to have (we thought he was because he'd brought it up with his supervisors), and we were faced with almost having to pay back $20k. Luckily his supervisors fought for him and we ended up getting to keep it. Is there anything your local teacher union can do for you?
Okay, this seems really weird, but I was just laying here while she was kicking around inside of me. And I got really sad thinking about her not being in there anymore and how sad it was going to be to not be so connected with her. I know it is gonna be cool to have her out here and real, but I just am feeling a little sad about it being over. I'm sure in another month I'll be TOTALLY over it all, but I just felt sad about it today.
Thank you all for your support. She did go to the hospital and it’s a sunchorionic hematoma. They said she could be fine or not and that there’s nothing they can do but wait it out. We’re still hoping. I’ve been exhausted from no sleep from the situation and working so i didn’t update here. Sorry about that.
@indulgentgypsy that seems really unfair. I’d definitely contact your teacher’s union and see what they can do. It might be nothing but it could be something. I still am having a hard time with the idea of going to work after my baby is born and it sucks to have no choice.
@hakele@leylea89 I have those days but recently, especially with how large I am and how easy it is for me to bump things, which in turn causes anxiety that I hurt LO, I’m sort of ready for him/her to be out.
Like today I was in my Jacuzzi (at home with temperature monitored, so no heat concerns) and I managed to not only bump the faucet but take a jet of water right to the stomach before the tub was full all the way so no water to lessen the impact, and I freaked out, even though LO is, of course, VERY well insulated.
Kinda a darned if you do, darned if you don’t thing...
@greeneyedgirl12 I understand that: it hasn’t actually been an issue for me and i’m still at my pre-pregnancy weight and 90% of the time have no discernible bump. People often look at me when I tell them I’m due in 9 weeks and try to figure out if they believe me. Because of it though, I still love like I wasn’t pregnant and mostly have my balance with the exception of some spreading hips and a temporary waddle when I wake up or try to run.
@leylea89 I’m only up about 5, and multiple people think other than the bump, I’m skinnier. My balance hasn’t been that bad, I’m just mostly bump in front and sometimes I misjudge just how much... the water jet was a fluke, going to have to explain to DH why his vanity is soaked. 🙄
I bought a metal set of drawers for the baby’s closet. Today I started to put them together but the pieces were VERY hard to hammer together. Had to go out and get a rubber mallet and even then I couldn’t do it. DH finally got home and was helping me put it together. He asks me to double check the directions to make sure everything is right since once he got it together it would be impossible to get back apart. I assure him it’s all right, he finishes putting it together, only for me to realize that one of the sides was upside down and the drawers wouldn’t line up right 😭😭😭 I totally lost it since I felt like such an idiot. DH tried to fix it but it ended up breaking in the process. Ended up having to return the whole thing to Home Depot at like 8pm and now we need to find something else to put in the baby’s closet 😬
Today’s my day off and I tried to stay awake for my sister to cook dinner. I even cleaned the kitchen but then she took a really long time and it’s almost 10pm. I work at 3:30am. I’ve been in and out of sleep all day so theoretically it’s no big deal. But I just couldn’t stay awake and my sister said ‘but you’ve been sleeping all day. I said I know, but I’m tired and tried to lay down.
Then Is tarted crying because I don’t want to be this tired. I don’t want to feel this lazy. She already made me feel bad about what a I ate today but I literally have $9.68 to make it until Tuesday afternoon when I get tips (about $20) to survive on so all I had was free pastries from my job that’s i took home.
i was proud of myself for just finding a way to eat but then she parades friends in and out all day and shares the pastries and tells me she’s not gonna let me just eat them. She gives some of the pastries to her friends while telling em this and shaming me to people. I had some WIC left for vegetables but didn’t have any way to get to the store on my own because I can’t afford to bus on my day off. She tells me at 7:15pm that if I use her car I can go to the store and get them but be back by 8 and then she’ll cook.
I do that and she leaves until 9:30pm bringing more and more people in and out and still not cooking. I could’ve just cooked if I knew she was gonna do that.
I’m really really broke guys and I’m feeling like crap about it and doing my best to just make it to Tuesday and then Wednesday when a I get paid again. The worst part is I’m broke because she borrowed money from me before last payday and then didn’t pay me back. She said she’d donate plasma to keep us on the up and up but has continuously asked for my pocket change or money. I’ve had to say no because I don’t have it.
I’ve been picking up hours the past month to have a good paycheck when I leave town this coming weekend for my baby shower. I’m exhausted and she just made me feel like crap for having my day off today and for eating what was available to me. I know I don’t look it- my ankles aren’t swollen, my belly’s not big, and I don’t have any weird cramps- but I’m pregnant and I’m exhausted.
And now I’m crying because my feelings are hurt and I feel like a bad mom for having two blueberry muffins today.
@leylea89 I’m so sorry you had such a rough day; that sounds really awful and unfair. You know how we’re always saying “fed is best” about babies—well, I think it applies to us, too! You found a way to get some food in you. Good going! You are a strong, resourceful woman, and Baby will take what Baby needs. Also, blueberry muffins sound really yummy. 💗
@leylea89 I hope your weekend turned around lady, that is just horrible and you should absolutely not feel bad at all!!!!
So I didn't cry I sobbed - was in Charleston for a bachelorette this weekend and we had brunch at this place called Poogan's Porch - as we are leaving and I step off the actual porch I see a small grave to the left of the porch for Poogan the dog....que the sobbing in the street. The pup died in 1979 - did not matter - I cried for a half hour straight and all my friends tried their best to console me without laughing. I'm still tearing up over poor Poogan now - I mean that was his porch!
My grandmother passed away this spring. She had memory problems among other things she was battling, so we when announced our pregnancy to the family, we gave her a special card explaining that we were expecting and due in July.
Unknown to anyone in the family (and without any help from any family), she made a no-sew fleece pillow and apparently somehow acquired a book for this baby. My aunts found them while cleaning out her room.
With all the things she was struggling with before she passed, none of us could have known that this baby was even on her mind - she would be her ninth great-grandchild.
@keebler6elf now I'm crying from your story - that is so beautiful that your child will have a special gift from her and you can rest assured she knew of and loved your child. My grandmother just passed away a little over a month ago and I wish she had been aware that her first great-grandchild was on his way.
Background: my parents are both motorcyclists. They each have their own bike. A few years ago, dad got an upgrade and so I got the extra bike. I rode it for a while, but then we moves out to the country and it was too dangerous to go up our steep hill. I've been storing it for my parents until they find a buyer. They think they found one, so today, they were going to take the bike back home. Mom was going to ride it since it was her old bike. As she is going down the hill, she hit a rock and laid the bike over. She was going slow, so no injuries other than some scrapes. The rear brake diesel was bent and we couldn't bend it back. Being the stubborn asses they are, mom and dad decided they had no choice but to still take it home. Mom hopped on and rode away. I'm now worried AF about the 2 1/2 hour ride on the interstate with the rear brake pedal not right.
Ugh. It was a trying weekend of mom and dad trying to help and me just being a hormonal ass. If something happens, I'll never forgive myself.
@cindler I don't blame you for being scared! I hope your mom makes it home safely, but it also sounds like she knows enough about motorcycles to not put herself in serious danger. Fingers crossed for you!
Feeling discouraged and tearful after a growth ultrasound yesterday. Baby's head and belly measuring 36 weeks, but limbs (femur,etc) measuring at 31 weeks. I'm actually 34 and a half weeks. The MFM doctor seemed to be slightly concerned however not as concerned because my NIPT test was negative for Down Syndrome, bones look good and forehead measurement looked good. I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience with this pregnancy or another. I'm trying not to Google for my own sanity. I have a follow-up ultrasound in 3 weeks to measure again. So, tears of sadness/confusion/fear have been flowing despite trying to be positive
@colleenm18 I'm so sorry you're going through this! I had such a similar experience and can totally relate to how you are feeling. At my 32 week (or whenever it was--maybe 30?) scan, my daughters head and femur measured under the 20th percentile, while her abdomen was normal. Obviously, I was upset and sick with worry. I ended up having to go in every subsequent week to check her growth. Well... she was born last week, tiny and perfect. I mean, seriously tiny--first percentile for all measurements, but otherwise completely fine. So all that to say, you just never know! I'm hoping it all goes well for you and baby.
@Pizzaplz, congratulations on your new arrival! And thank you so much for your kind reassurance. Google is not my friend at the moment so trying to avoid that. The femur is 5th percentile for my little guy. That's the only percentage they gave me. Congratulations again! And so happy to hear that she is completely fine!
Re: Why My Pregnant Self is Crying
So my payroll department just called me and told me I was not supposed to get paid in August last year, that teachers don't get paid until September in this district (most fucked up thing I have ever heard. Teachers are just supposed to work for literally 2 months into the year without pay - I would have gone from May to October without any pay, as it was I went from May to September with no pay except for the waitress job I managed to pick up last minute).
The only way to fix the payroll screw up is to either not pay me at all in August, or to reduce my paycheck for the next 4 checks I receive. Meaning that just when I need it most my check will be reduced by $1200 a month. We're already on the edge of having any money, and now it is getting reduced. I feel like now I have no choice but to try and get a part time job immediately for the summer or immediately after this little one is born. I was looking forward to being able to actually have something of a maternity leave this time around. I guess like a baby shower it is just one of those things that is never going to happen for me.
If I lived anywhere close, I’d throw you a shower for sure. You deserve one. Hugs mama.
@indulgentgypsy Is there any way to get them to stay that was their mistake and not yours, thus you don't need to repay? We were in this situation in 2017 - the payroll agency gave DH a raise he wasn't supposed to have (we thought he was because he'd brought it up with his supervisors), and we were faced with almost having to pay back $20k. Luckily his supervisors fought for him and we ended up getting to keep it. Is there anything your local teacher union can do for you?
@indulgentgypsy that seems really unfair. I’d definitely contact your teacher’s union and see what they can do. It might be nothing but it could be something. I still am having a hard time with the idea of going to work after my baby is born and it sucks to have no choice.
Like today I was in my Jacuzzi (at home with temperature monitored, so no heat concerns) and I managed to not only bump the faucet but take a jet of water right to the stomach before the tub was full all the way so no water to lessen the impact, and I freaked out, even though LO is, of course, VERY well insulated.
Kinda a darned if you do, darned if you don’t thing...
Then Is tarted crying because I don’t want to be this tired. I don’t want to feel this lazy. She already made me feel bad about what a I ate today but I literally have $9.68 to make it until Tuesday afternoon when I get tips (about $20) to survive on so all I had was free pastries from my job that’s i took home.
i was proud of myself for just finding a way to eat but then she parades friends in and out all day and shares the pastries and tells me she’s not gonna let me just eat them. She gives some of the pastries to her friends while telling em this and shaming me to people. I had some WIC left for vegetables but didn’t have any way to get to the store on my own because I can’t afford to bus on my day off. She tells me at 7:15pm that if I use her car I can go to the store and get them but be back by 8 and then she’ll cook.
I do that and she leaves until 9:30pm bringing more and more people in and out and still not cooking. I could’ve just cooked if I knew she was gonna do that.
I’m really really broke guys and I’m feeling like crap about it and doing my best to just make it to Tuesday and then Wednesday when a I get paid again. The worst part is I’m broke because she borrowed money from me before last payday and then didn’t pay me back. She said she’d donate plasma to keep us on the up and up but has continuously asked for my pocket change or money. I’ve had to say no because I don’t have it.
I’ve been picking up hours the past month to have a good paycheck when I leave town this coming weekend for my baby shower. I’m exhausted and she just made me feel like crap for having my day off today and for eating what was available to me. I know I don’t look it- my ankles aren’t swollen, my belly’s not big, and I don’t have any weird cramps- but I’m pregnant and I’m exhausted.
And now I’m crying because my feelings are hurt and I feel like a bad mom for having two blueberry muffins today.
So I didn't cry I sobbed - was in Charleston for a bachelorette this weekend and we had brunch at this place called Poogan's Porch - as we are leaving and I step off the actual porch I see a small grave to the left of the porch for Poogan the dog....que the sobbing in the street. The pup died in 1979 - did not matter - I cried for a half hour straight and all my friends tried their best to console me without laughing. I'm still tearing up over poor Poogan now - I mean that was his porch!
Unknown to anyone in the family (and without any help from any family), she made a no-sew fleece pillow and apparently somehow acquired a book for this baby. My aunts found them while cleaning out her room.
With all the things she was struggling with before she passed, none of us could have known that this baby was even on her mind - she would be her ninth great-grandchild.
Ugh. It was a trying weekend of mom and dad trying to help and me just being a hormonal ass. If something happens, I'll never forgive myself.
Update: mom, dad and motorcycle made it home ok. ❤