Not sure what to call this post..

dette7820

Hey ladies, I am hoping you can offer some of your wonderful advice..

Let me first say I am very very aware I may get flamed- go for it.

2nd- I have been a dieter all my life. I once weighed close to 200 and when I met my husband I had lost about 40 lbs. I even got smaller at one point.

I am regularly a size 10/12 and before pregnancy I actually got some professional help for being too hard on myself and my weight.

When I got pregnant I knew I was going to gain weight, and I had to really prepare myself that it was ok. I made a deal with my doctor that he would let me know if it was getting too high/low etc.

I am 23 weeks and have gained 15 lbs. I have been told by my doc that I am doing great.

SO-I hear 3 times 2 days ago about how big I am getting.. and I am not sure why but it's really affected me. Last night I had a breakdown-sobbing breakdown because my body is gone and I don't feel like I look good in anything.. My DH is great, but I am really not feeling very pretty these days..

Anyone have any suggestions? thoughts, advice? Similar stories?

Thanks. Just having a hard time with this.

chelsearenee

First, people have no idea how big a pregnant woman should get.  We are all different.  I am sure you are no bigger than me at the same point.  They are just making small talk.  Getting big may actually be a compliment in their mind, because its progress and the baby is growing.  Try not to take it too hard.  Find some clothes that you really like.  It changes all the time, but I really prefer the tighter fitting shirts to the maternity shirts because the maternity shirts make me look HUGE.  If you dr says you are doing great, than you are.  Try not to let the stupid comments get to you.

AMYfromKY

First off, 15 pounds is totally normal!  Your Dr will let you if your weight gain is a problem.

Second, don't take those comments to heart.  To other people your belly is getting "big."  Big is probably not the best way to explain it, but when something is growing rapidly (like a pregnant belly) it's the word people use.  I don't take offense when people say this to me because I know I'm growing and am proud to be getting "big" because that means Henry is growing!

I also have a hard time with seeing my stomach go from pretty flat to baby bump, but I know it's not the time to worry about it.  If it makes you feel better, start putting together a diet/exercise plan you will do AFTER you have your baby.  It's always good to have a plan and will help you acheive your pre-preg body.

Many people won't admit it, but I think we are all a little self-conscious about gaining weight so quickly even if we are pregnant. 

iuplori

OP, I have about the same body story as you, and just would say listen to the advice that everyone is different.  Like AmyfromKY said, go ahead and focus on an after plan, but be sure to be happy that there's a healthy baby growing rapidly, and if your Dr. is OK, then there's no need to worry about size.  ::hugs::

 

dette7820

Thanks ladies.. I'll just blame my 24 hr breakdown on hormones :-)

I have a shower to go to today so I am going to do my best and feel good about myself.

I also appreciate the idea of an after pregnancy plan.. workout/getting back into shape.

Thanks again for listening and the advice. So hard to remember all the rational thoughts when the irrational get in the way.

 

whitneyandbrook

I know how you feel, and I've always been very thin. Yesterday at a BBQ, my DH's friend (a guy) came up to me and said, "You know you look a lot more like your sister with some weight put on."

I know that he wasn't trying to be mean, or anything, but it still hurt my feelings. Especially considering that A.) my sister is a lot heavier than I am, B.) I've only put on about 5 lbs, and C.) I felt pretty yesterday, for the first time in MONTHS. 

You just have to try and shrug it off. (I need to take my own advice)

topazwind

I can empathize. ?I worked so hard to finally lose some weight and tone up and I got pregnant. ?I am thrilled to be pregnant and have it going well, baby healthy, all that. ?Yet, I can't even look at myself in the mirror. ?It makes me sad to feel this way about my body, I worry I won't ever get it back afterwards, and I worry about passing on this body image to my daughter.

?So I have decided to take advice my grandma gave me when she was alive and I was a little younger, the days you feel the lousiest are the days you have to put the most into how you look. ?I go through the effort of doing my hair, putting on some makeup and I?splurged?on a few items that I really feel good in. ?It seems to help.

?I also have my plan for after baby, I will go back to WW, they have a good plan for nursing moms, and I will commit to exercise three times a week for the first few months. Hopefully, by the time next summer rolls around I will be feeling good again. ?Either that or I will be knocked up again, lol.

BeeLove

I understand having that "out of body" experience. I was not very big before I got KU, and I have one of those bellies that is "all belly" according to EVERYONE, but I am still getting really large and uncomfortable.  I used to be a lot more flexible and be able to walk really fast everywhere I went.  I was always on the go, never got tired, could work 15 hours a day and not think twice, but now, I am just EXHAUSTED.  I just don't feel like MYSELF.  It's less about weight gain and just this HUGE body change.

Look at this way - embrace the belly! You are growing a human life and no matter how big you get, there is always an opportunity to change it again.  The beauty of our bodies is that they are MEANT for this and they bounce back (maybe not perfectly, but if you choose to make a change, it can happen).

I would just say to try to get dressed up on occasion, keep applying make-up, curl your hair...these are things that continue to make me feel like myself. I just do everything else the same.  I don't let "everything go" b/c I'm KU. I try to create my OWN glow, so if people say I'm getting big, I can just say "I know!! Isn't it awesome!  my baby is growing wonderfully!"

That is the most important thing.  If we are healthy (and it sounds like you are!) our babies are healthy and that is what is the best part - having a healthy, beautiful baby. ::HUGS::

Jessie0706

Just to be a repeat of what everyone said, you're NOT alone in this issue! I got a "you're getting so big!" comment from my mom yesterday (and I'm sure you're similar in size to me -- maybe a bit smaller 'cause I was a bit bigger before the BFP) and knew she was talking about the baby bump! I think if you focus the comment(s) as people admiring your healthy baby, it may be easier.

And if your doctor has not said anything about your weight gain, I'd take it as good! I've gain 22lbs so far and my docotor hasn't said a thing -- something I was worried about when we found out we were pregnant.

You're a beautiful woman with the miracle of life in your tummy! Show off that bump with a tighter shirt! One plus is we're now looking like "pregnant ladies" instead of being in that awkward "Is she pregnant or just bigger?" stage! 

Have fun at your shower, pretty!!! 

tklmechris98

I feel the same way as you.  I was a size 1 before I got pregnant, now I can't even get my jeans up past my thighs. The whole "you are getting so big" comment doesn't really affect me as much because I know they are talking about my belly which means my baby and that's a great thing! You are at 23 weeks and gained 15 pounds, that means its all the baby weight and that is why your doctor said you are doing great.  I agree with the after plan, I want to try to have one too.  Never in my life have I seen so much cellulite grow on my legs this fast, its unreal. I'm so afraid myself that i'll never get rid of it and my body will never be the same but if so many other women can do it, then so can we. Plus I've been hearing that breast-feeding burns off calories and helps shed the pregnancy pounds so if that's true then I am all for the breast-feeding! On top of the idea that it's so much healthier for my child of course!

yellowtulips80

I have been going through something pretty similar.  I am so self conscious about my body.  I find the only thing that helps me is to put extra effort into my hair and makeup when I am feeling extra lousy.  I also do some toning exercises for my arms and legs and go for a walk every day.  It is hard being pregnant and watching your body change.  But i try to take comfort in knowing that this is only a temporary state of body.

 

Mandalyn8

((HUGS)) to you

I don't think it matters what size a woman is, or how excited she is about having a baby - it is way harder than we ever expected to watch our bodies change so drastically, especially with all the pressure women feel to look good, pregnant or not. I broke down sobbing in a fitting room one night around 14 weeks, because the woman at MM had told me I was too small to try on the jeans there (so narrow-minded!), but everything I tried on at Gap and ON just made me look like a slobby, lumpy mess.

Something that helped me - maternity clothes, while they make my belly look a little bigger, at least make it clear that I'm pregnant, not just chunky They are cut to fit a pregnant figure, and they make me feel so much prettier and more put together. just my two cents, I hope you feel better soon! (oh, and I like MM clothes, I just had to go to a different store where the staff was more accepting and helpful!)

sestock17

I was a 10/12 pre-pregnancy as well and have also gained 15 lbs. already, which is totally normal from where we started out.  I never liked my pre-pregnancy body, but am learning to love my pregnancy body. 

This might sound weird, but every night before I go to bed I just look in the mirror at the changes in my body.  There is something about a big belly that makes my thighs and legs look smaller! 

Also, I am usually the one who will say "I am huge" before others get the chance.  Sometimes other people will try to say "no, you look great!" and it secretly makes me smile.  People are funny that way.

Try to enjoy your pregnancy and the nuances that go along with it.  You can go back to worrying about your weight later, that is if your little one doesn't make you forget all about it.  GL.

breech

i think the way you are feeling is normal ( or im abnormal right there with you). i generally feel like i look like crap. we went to the lake yesterday and i literally felt like a beached whale. ugg. people were actually staring at me. i wanted to scream.

Sheila.Scully

Ya, people can make you feel like crap without trying.  In other cultures though, we would be consided hot stuff.  The American mind set is so off.  It SHOULD be about being healthy, but the idea of what is healthy is many times confused with being thin.  I was always thin, too thin.  People still make comments if you are too thin as well.  I think I look better with more meat on me.  Please stop being your own worst enemy, you should be congradulating your self that you are accomplishing something that is very hard and challenging.  There is a miracle inside of you.  When you lose the weight later, it will be so much sweeter knowing what you did.  Plus, soon enough you will be chaseing your little one around.  That is the best exercise!

DiscusCoach

My BFF had the same problem. I am so sorry. I think all of our hormones only serve to intensify feelings we had before we got pg. Better yet how about neurosis because that is how I feel.

Good luck to you in finding some peace. 

pregali80

Girl, go get a mani/pedi and put on a cute dress. Remember, you are beautiful and blessed with a baby! Lets all be hot mammas  

dette7820

A big thank you to all of you! Today has proved to be a much better day.. and to the person (s) who said to put in the extra touch and time on the crappiest days- that is great advice and I will use it.

 

thanks so much!!!!!!!!!